Yes, yes, evil cliffhanger. But I couldn't think of a better place to stop it.
I did say the universe-merging explanation was a false one...
Please don't insult the muse, she drop-kicked this worldbuilding into my head now that my project is finished.
I've got another one to start but who cares because TEMARI IS A QUEEN. And Harry is an impulsive little cinnamon roll. And Amelia Bones needs a fucking holiday. And Sirius makes a friend.
"I," Shikamaru spoke softly into the silence, "like to think that I am a patient man." The shadow under the Staff table began to darken ominously, oozing down the raised platform and over the floor. "But I have one nerve left and you're getting on it. You have five minutes to explain yourselves rationally and leave, before I make you." Something like ethereal blue fire rippled along his form as he let his chakra flare; if their stupidity bounced back this quickly from last evening, then a more direct demonstration was needed.
"Um, I think," a soft-featured, slightly tubby man with a mole-like squint, squeaked as he stepped forward, hand raised timidly. "Um, sorry, um, can I...?" He eyed the creeping black tide with trepidation.
"Name?" Temari said sharply, tapping a fingernail on the table and looking, to all intents and purposes, bored out of her skull.
"Um, Justin Thrawecliff, um, International Magical, um, Office of Law," he babbled. "Um, you see, we, the Ministry, wanted to, um, know more about you. So, um, Head Unspeakable Croaker and, um, myself, looked through some, um, archives and found, uhh...'" he petered off, sweat beading on his brow.
"Three. Minutes." Shikamaru growled.
Fudge's survival instincts must have finally found their way out of his gibbering, foetal lizard brain, because he chose this point to blurt out "The Land of Mu!"
The shadows froze.
"That," Temari said slowly. "Is a very old name. But it seems you finally found where we are on a map. Congratulations. Still doesn't explain the detainment and why you thought sending some of your highest officials into a possible-battle with trained battle-mages was a good idea. Maybe there's something in the water."
"Except you aren't Battle Mages," the hooded man proclaimed, the darkness obscuring his face actually a barrier protecting his identity. "That may be a close approximation and you might appear as such to our sensors, but you do not have magic."
A gasp rippled around the hall. But Croaker kept talking.
"Moon-cursed. Chakra-born. Fire-hearts. There are lots of terms for your people, that were earned when ancient Magical explorers sought to re-establish contact with the continents that had disappeared centuries ago. Pieces were sent back. And so it was decreed that no chakra-born should have contact with the Magical World, if it could be helped. Even Grindlewald balked at hiring your killers."
"Please understand," it was Adeline Carrow's turn to speak now. "This situation might have been presented...hastily," her eyes flicked to the Minister and Malfoy, "but this is just in the interest of our two worlds remaining separate. We hope that you enjoy your tour, but hope that we can re-establish the...safe distance we had before."
The unspoken plea hung in the air as Temari closed her eyes for a moment.
"Isn't it odd," she spoke finally, making everyone twitch. "That you omitted why your so-called 'explorers' were sent back piece by piece? Because our histories mention why."
Her eyes opened a cut-glass, furious blue. "When children are stolen from their parents and family, put into cages and treated as less than human for the sake of study...did they really think back then, that the parents would not trample the Dragons themselves if that was what it took to get them back? And that there would not be vengeance fit to turn the stomachs of the foulest demons?"
People shifted uncomfortably at this new information. But Shikamaru picked up the tale now, before any refutations could be made.
"So now we've reached the abyssal depths of filth called victim blaming and ancestor blaming. Our ancestors defend themselves against the cruelty of yours', and they're the monsters? And we are as well?
Oh, and speaking of 'separating the worlds', and children, for that matter, you're 16 years too late."
As everyone in the Great Hall processed his last sentence in confusion, there was a clatter of cutlery as Harry jumped onto the Gryffindor table, getting everyone's attention. "That's right!" He yelled triumphantly. "Gaara's my brother!"
In some form of kinship of disbelief, Snape and Lupin both looked at each other, and slowly hid their faces in their hands.
As did Blaise.
As did Ron and Hermione.
Lucius Malfoy looked like a cat who'd accidentally swallowed his own hairball, thinking it to be a mouse.
Professor McGonagall looked undecided between giving Harry detention for the rest of his natural life and then some, or unbelievably proud.
Dumbledore's worldview was quietly shattering into a myriad pieces.
That was when every Hit Wizard was abruptly whirled away into thin air, as if by a massive Portkey. In the same breath, Amelia Bones ran through the doors, breathing heavily. "Stop...hfff...this at once...you absolute...sarding...morons!"
"Amelia, my dear," Dumbledore twinkled genially. "Welcome to Hogwarts, despite the unpleasantness. Would you like a cup of-"
"Don't you 'my dear' me, Albus!" She snapped. "I've got things to say to you as well! Just let me save these people from committing actual suicide, if not political."
"I-I resent that accusation!" Malfoy blurted out, his composure having taking a knockout blow from the events of the last minute.
"More like resembles it," Blaise Zabini muttered to himself under the table, not that anyone other than the two Slytherins directly next to him heard it.
"Oh, sod off Malfoy, go and screech at your flipping peacocks," Bones spat, now nearing the end of her, very frayed, tether.
Justin Thrawecliff and Adeline Carrow took the hint and began sidling out, Croaker lingering behind them until Amelia scowled at him, wand sparking ominously in her hand in much the same way her niece's had. Malfoy and the Minister fled too, not that anyone cared by this point, given that all the attention was focused on Temari vaulting over the table in a single bound and sweeping over to the Director's side.
Utterly beyond caring at this point, Amelia let herself be led over to the Hufflepuff table and have a glass of water be pressed into her hand. Close by, Susan sat pale-faced, fingertips white as they still gripped the communication mirror she'd used to stream her Aunt into the proceedings.
"Now I know why you never became Minister," Temari sighed, standing next to her. "You'd have fifty stress ulcers within the day. Not that this is much different, of course. Where did your soldiers go?"
"All Hit Wizards have an Emergency Evac Portkey in their robes, that takes them to the Hit Wizard-dedicated ward at St. Mungos. I got a hold of the Executive Override Commands; didn't want them to die for others' idiocy. No offense."
Temari raised an eyebrow. "And then you came charging in by yourself, knowing that you might die at the hands of the people you ate dinner with last night."
"Oh, shut up," she burbled into her water. "There are hundreds of children here; I'd rather not have their memories of Hogwarts feature blood pooling on the flagstones."
"It would have been your Ministry's fault though."
"Oh yes."
"There is a giant yellow mole on that sofa." Sirius Black commented numbly.
"Yes?" His guide confirmed, confused.
"There are people playing cards on the ceiling."
"Your point?"
"Women, and two men, are painting their fingernails, with the option of poison lacquer."
"I really don't see where you're going with thi-"
"That man just turned himself into a cactus!"
"Look, I'm going to stop you right there," the woman, Ginruko he thought her name was, broke him off. "This is normal. For the Jonin Communal Lounge, anyway. This is one of the few places I'm allowed to bring you, because everyone here is strong enough to take you on and win."
She led him over to an unoccupied armchair, taking care to avoid a circle of paper squares painted with runes(?), within which three people were huddled fast asleep under a blanket. The nest of lizards situated in a large pot plant blinked at Sirius as he sat.
"So, uh, why am I here?"
She blinked, much like the lizards had, from where she now perched on the arm of the sofa with the mole on it, disassembling and polishing what looked like an arm-mounted needle-launcher. "You got your head messed up pretty good, so you've got a seal on your neck to regulate how your brain processes stimuli back down to normal levels. But you need socialisation, say the bosses, so here you are. Feel free to wander and ask questions and for Dragons' sake ask what's in the food and drink before you accept any! We forget how different we are to other Villages, you see, and it's going to be my hide if you get poisoned! Have fun!"
Sirius slumped back in the chair. "Military outfit, huh?" He muttered to himself. "Nothing like they should be."
"This is our break room, not the Training Grounds, a spar or an emergency drill; we're supposed to be having fun." A voice said behind him, just above his head.
"Uh! Hi, um..." Sirius stumbled over his words. "Uhh...'"
"Otoe," the person said. "Female, before you ask. And don't worry; we're used to civilians freaking out over what shinobi in casual mode look like."
"Sirius Black," he replied automatically, smiling roguishly. "Charmed, m'lady. And may I ask what you're doing for fun?"
Her eyebrow twitched, as did the corner of her mouth. "You only just learned my name; you must be desperate. And I'm fixing one of the karaoke machines."
Sirius rummaged through his memories, coming up with one of Lily giggling as she pushed James towards a large, rounded box with glowing words moving across it and a my-cro-fone attached. "You have that, all the way out here?"
"We have tournaments, Black-san," she emphasised. "Each year, in the festival that's coming up. That's why I'm fixing it; so Block 2 can practice without stealing somebody else's." Taking a seat on the floor, she leaned out of his eyeline and pulled a large, colourful box on tiny wheels over, along with a white piece of cloth with a scattering of tiny tools and parts on it. "You like karaoke?"
He winced. "I'm pretty sure I do...sorry, my head's a little messed up. This thing on the back of my neck is helping, but...'"
"S'okay," she shrugged, fiddling with some wiring. "It happens. I had a sister, she ran into a Yamanaka. She was never quite the same. Each Apartment Block has karaoke nights quite regularly, so you can just give it a try and re-experience it for the first time again."
"I doubt it'll be a pretty sound, though. Not exactly something you want the ladies to hear."
"Pfft!" She snorted. "We've got abysmal singers who are female. And they still take part, isn't that right, Gin-chan?"
"Ah, piss off," Ginruko yelled from the sofa arm, tossing a long needle that thunked solidly into the carpet next to Otoe's knee. Sirius started at the action, but Otoe just kept talking, seemingly oblivious to the injury she'd narrowly avoided.
"We've got some good singers though."
"Urayama-san," Ginruko chipped in. "That voice of his is to die for. Not bad looking either; Ikoi-san is one lucky woman."
"Yeah, and, um," Otoe snapped her fingers. "That guy from the Caravans, cousin of whatshername, Maki! Does Throat Singing."
Sirius, having so far been comfortable to let the conversation continue over him, had been carefully testing his magic. He knew the basics of Wandless magic, and it wasn't that much different from a child's Accidental magic. A simple Reparo should be within his grasp. He focused on the karaoke box and wished.
He wished, and something inside him pulled.
Otoe yelped as wires suddenly realigned under her hands, the panel leaping off the floor along with it's screws and bolting itself back on. Black-san slumped back in the armchair, gasping for breath. "There," he breathed. "Should be...okay now...hopefully." His stomach dropped though, when he saw the myriad of faces around the room staring at him with flat expressions.
"Oh, he's one of those guys," one of the card players on the ceiling muttered, and everyone turned back to their pastimes.
"What...what's all that about?" Sirus asked, grinning nervously. Otoe glanced at him strangely.
"Ancient history, yeah, but Magicals are...things are better if our worlds stay separate. We thought you'd all gradually died out a hundred years ago and nobody really mourned."
His face creased up in genial confusion. "But I haven't done anything to your world, or your people."
Ginruko leaned forward. "We know, otherwise Kazekage-sama wouldn't have brought you here. But it's hard to not be paranoid about the villain of your childhood fairy stories." Then she smiled. "Got any more tricks?"
A muffled shout of protest rose from the mouths of the Hogwarts students as they were shepherded from the Great Hall off to their first class. Nevertheless, they went, and the doors shut behind them. Temari, Shikamaru, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Bones and Harry were the only ones left.
"When I told Mister Potter that I would excuse him from his first class to choose his elective, Albus, I didn't mean that he should miss the entire day! Education is important and he should be treated like any other child!" McGonagall snapped.
Dumbledore's eyes merely twinkled furiously. "Now, Minerva, I'm sure we are all merely curious as to Harry's alleged relation to this Gaara fellow-"
"My brother is the Fourth Kazekage and you will refer to him as such, or with titles of respect as befits his station." Temari inserted dryly. "Harry, do you want me to explain, or do you?"
Harry, still jittery with excitement and nerves, nodded. "Erm, me. So, Gaara's mum had an accident and couldn't have babies anymore, so she and Gaara's dad came over to this world, the Muggle side, to a special hospital. And mum, my mum, had donated eggs, and one of them ended up in Gaara's mum so she could get pregnant with him. So Gaara has my mum's DNA, but had another mum who gave birth to him. So he's my half-brother."
Slowly, mounting panic crept into his voice. "And I won't leave him, I won't! I asked the Goblins and they say he's my brother, and even if he isn't I don't care, because he, and Kankuro and Temari and Shikamaru too, are already a billion billion times better than the Dursleys ever were!"
Dumbledore tried to protest. "My boy, you cannot just say that. The Dursleys are, somewhat a little closed-minded, but they are your family and I'm sure they love you regardless-"
"BITE YOUR TONGUE!" Temari roared out of nowhere, her teeth bared. It rang against the stone and echoed on the windows.
"Family...blood does not make family," she breathed through gritted teeth and a snarl. "Love does. And love is not an obligation; it is not an automatic thing. My father taught me that much. Love is a choice; you choose to gift it to someone and sometimes it grows in the strangest of ways, but despair does not beget love. And Harry was desperate enough to reply to the letter of a complete stranger; what does that say about what love he received?"
In the stillness that filled the space her words had left, she tilted her chin in defiance and slowly sat, where Shikamaru wrapped his hand around her trembling fingers.
McGonagall turned on Dumbledore, eyes narrowed and he would swear that her teeth had become pointed. "I told you Albus! I told you! The worst kind of Muggles I said, but no! You left him on that doorstep and all these years you said he was fine and happy!"
"Basically, my little brother's adopting him once he finds the right paperwork," Temari interjected smoothly. "Family by blood, family by choice, we have the resources, do you want to come live with us Harry?"
"Yes," he breathed.
"That's brilliant, littlest brother. So we just need to wait for the paperwork."
"I'm afraid that will not be possible." Dumbledore's voice was calm and measured, but stern, his hands folded in front of him with an almost visible aura of regret and disappointment around him. "It is necessary for Harry's protection to stay with his Muggle relatives."
"No it isn't."
To the surprise of most, it had been Snape who had spoken, having remained silent up until now. Dumbledore's disappointed, hurt gaze turned on him, he took a deep breath and drew a small measure of courage from the approval in McGonagall's eyes.
"Muggles might be the lesser of the monsters, but their humanity makes them the most monstrous of all. And if these people from Mu are even half as deadly as they've purported themselves to be, the Dark Lord doesn't stand a chance."
'That one has killed immortals,' he thought loudly as he met the Headmaster's eyes, knowing that the old man would be scanning his uppermost thoughts with passive legilimency in lieu of these sudden 'traitorous actions'.
"I want to know how you think some civilians would be 'protection'," Shikamaru air-quoted. "Not a good plan; barely even qualifies as a plan, actually."
"Lily Potter had established a failsafe, should Voldemort come after her family," Dumbledore began solemnly. "Blood Wards, powered by her willing sacrifice for her son, would become his shield, anchored in her blood that resided within him. Blood Wards rely on a feedback love of reciprocated love between those who share the bloodline, however. Given Lily's love for her Muggle sister, that she had expressed many a time, it was obvious that Harry would be safest there. And a quiet Muggle neighbourhood would be the last place anyone would look for him."
Everyone stared at him incredulously.
"I...I'm pretty sure I said that Gaara and I have the same mum, Professor," Harry muttered in confusion, not quite believing that a great wizard he had admired could be so short-sighted.
"Lily loved her sister and her son, yes, Albus. But her sister and her son did not love each other," McGonagall sneered in an expression worthy of Snape on his worst day, Snape himself nodding in agreement.
"And I supposed we all imagined Death Eaters attacking 'quiet Muggle neighbourhoods' for shits and giggles then, did we?" Amelia Bones said, through gritted teeth. "My older brother died in those raids, as did my sister-in-law. As you well know; they were part of your Order during the war."
"My condolences," Shikamaru murmured quietly, loud enough for her to catch. "And that also explains a lot of the reports we've- the Elemental Nations collectively- gotten back over the last two decades. We visit this Side of the Gate often; we like to keep up-to-date on technology, especially now as we're a bit behind. Wars, and all that. And, Bones-buchÅ, should you wish to retire I'm sure Temari would like to have you and your niece over to Sunagakure for a visit."
"I'd like to postpone that visit indefinitely, if you don't mind?" She replied laconically. "And Dumbledore? I'm not so stupid as to fail to realise that Blood Wards are banned magic, yet you knew and didn't report her. I don't blame you for it, but you should have said something afterwards. If Blood Wards can repel a Killing Curse, the Unspeakables could have studied them. The Killing Curse could have a counter by now, but instead, a child gets lauded as a Deus Ex Machina!"
Harry, having sat by awkwardly as the adults traded barbs, took the allusion to himself as permission to break in. "Can I show Shikamaru and Temari around the castle yet? I'm not doing anything, and you did promise them a tour, so...'" He trailed off with a shrug.
The Land of Mu is a 'real' lost continent/s(?) off the coast of Japan.
And since Sunagakure values community, the Jonin Lounge isn't so much a break room as a communal university dorm living room. Casual-insanity/this-is-Tuesday/communal-space/relaxed shinobi is a headcanon I will go down with.
And I accidentally read three emotionally draining fanfics in a row, so don't expect much plot next chapter. Mostly mindless fluff. Curse my soft spot for abused-child-family-drama to the pits of oblivion!
*Upbeat jingle plays*
Ask Kankuro!
How would shinobi react to Dementors?
'Those things are basically PTSD flashbacks incarnate, soooo...yeah. I'd say it depends on the shinobi in question? Experiences differ, after all. I'd say that if a shinobi knows their own triggers and how to ride themselves through it, or even just knows how to compartmentalise, they'd be shaken, but otherwise quite coherent.
Obviously, that Dementor's going to die as soon as that shinobi realises they're flammable.'
When did Shinobi and Wizards first come into contact and do you know how that happened?
'Okay, timeline's a little rough, but...hm?'
*Slyfox hands over piece of paper*
'Oh, you did it for me, that's great, thanks. So, yeah, I have a list of dates here now. Just for context, the Warring Clans Era is officially recognised by modern historians, to have begun in 1519 AD, upon the annexation of the former Land of Ancestors by the Kaguya Clan.
Anything before that is a little sticky, we're talking about circa one to five years either way. But Magicals first became...infamous c.1486.
Well, the Juubi had been sealed c.1450, so people are just starting to pick up some form of governance, but mainly still going around with extended family, when Magicals started popping up. Everyone thought this was great; we could help each other out, especially since the Sage of Six Paths had recently died. Unfortunately, that trust was misplaced.
The Magicals just saw us, the Clans in particular, as interesting aberrations from a new, previously isolated environment. And children are generally easier to acquire than adults. They thought they could take their captives and get back to their side of the Gate before anyone noticed. They nearly succeeded.
Thankfully, they had gotten a little overambitious and decided that they simply had to have a sample from the 'divine' bloodline. Namely, a child by the name of Uchiwa, son of a famous archer and peacekeeper of the land, named Indra. And, being the son of the Sage, Clans were happy to temporarily unite under his leadership and recover their children.
After the resulting massacre, the Clans under Indra were very enthusiastic about weaponizing their relatively new chakra, and continued developing their skills even after they went their separate ways.
Then, yeah, Warring Clans Era.
Here's the rest of the timeline, if you're interested.'
Kaguya arrives/ascends- c.430AD
Pocket dimension created- c.440 AD
Juubi sealed- c.1450 AD
Wizards/weaponization of chakra- c.1486 AD
Official beginning of Warring Clans Era- 1519 AD
Union of Uchiha and Senju- 1902
Founding of Konoha- 1905
Hiruzen Sarutobi born- 1907
Official end of Warring Clans Era- 1911
Hashirama fights a young Kakuzu- 1916
Madara Uchiha leaves Konoha- 1917
Hashirama vs Madara/Valley of the End created- 1920
Tsunade Senju born- 1937
First Shinobi War begins- 1942
First Shinobi War ends- 1944
Minato Namikaze born- 1952
Second Shinobi War begins- 1956
Second Shinobi War ends- 1959
Kakashi Hatake born- 1961
Sakumo Hatake dies/Third Shinobi War begins- 1966
End of Third Shinobi War- 1970
Minato Namikaze instated as Fourth Hokage- 1972
Naruto Uzumaki born- 1976
*Waves arms* LOOK! SHINY HISTORY!
The dates of birth are calculated from official character ages; keep in mind that 'current day'/end of Fourth Shinobi War is 1992. Stuff in between, like the wars and the founding, are pretty logical estimates? Because I'm saying that Kakuzu was 15/16 when he fought Hashirama; cockiness born from a new, body-upgrading kinjutsu and all that.
I'm using these dates, feel free to use them as well if you want to.