"I love you."
It was always very easy to say. From the beginning, James had had no qualms in saying it to Q, even before he had slowly moved into Q's flat, piece by piece becoming a more permanent part of each other's lives.
It was whispered into Q's hair when they were sitting on the couch together, kissed into Q's skin when they had sex, spoken with bitter sleep breath when James handed Q his morning cup of tea.
James had no idea what he was doing, but it all seemed to be working out, and that's what people said to each other when they were together. Q hadn't said it back yet, but James was okay with that, was more than okay with everything in his life in an almost eerie way. He had never thought himself to be prone to domesticity, in fact, he'd rather thought the opposite.
Sometimes, when they were curled up on the couch watching a movie, or washing dishes together, or something else that seemed ludicrously out of place in his life, he wondered about it. Even when he had been with Vesper, someone he would have left MI6 behind for, he had never imagined this, and now that he did, he couldn't see it turning out well. Thoughts like those always left a sort of hollow feeling deep in his gut so he didn't think on it often.
That was another bit of it. He wouldn't ever have to leave MI6 for Q. The opposite thought was almost funny, Q leaving MI6 willingly? The punchline to a joke no one would dare ask, as Q-branch had never run so smooth, agents had never been so well equipped, and never had there been so many easily successful missions. But Q didn't expect him to stop fieldwork. Even when he was risking his life, doing ridiculous things that made Q spitting mad, Q just calmly led him home. His voice in James' ear had become an instant source of security when he was getting in trouble on the streets of some huge city halfway around the world.
It was incredibly easy to live like this with Q. Something James didn't actively avoid thinking about, but not something he really had to think about. Which was why it was surprising that he was awake right now. It was early in the morning, the night after a mission almost gone wrong, and he was awake. He was curled around Q as tightly as he could be without waking him, looking at his delicate cheekbones, his soft pink lips, the thin skin of his eyelids covering his clever hazel eyes. When he had gotten back from his mission, he had forcibly removed Q from MI6 and taken him home to sleep, as he had not rested the two days James had been held captive by the organization he had been tracking. He had gotten James out alive and had helped him mercilessly destroy the facility on the way out.
Even now, as James closed his eyes and brushed a light kiss into Q's riotous curls, he could picture the look on his face as he had led him out. He had seen it before, when Q had been helping other agents and he had come by to visit him (bother, Q would say with a teasing grin). The slight curl of his lips, the way his eyes flickered screen to screen, finding the next target and keeping the way clear for the agent, sometimes finding ways to remotely end the lives of those threatening an agent in the field.
It had been the reason James had pursued Q in the first place, only looking for a night together at first. But then Q had turned out to be endlessly interesting, something that James couldn't have enough of. He still hasn't the slightest idea how it had turned out like this. His breath caught slightly as the dark shifted into day and light started drifting in through the open blinds. He traced, a hairs breath away from Q's skin, the deepening shadows on the dip of Q's collarbones, his philtrum, beneath his eyelashes.
James' breath caught as the first rays of sun really pierced the room, lighting up just enough to make Q's skin glow and adding depth and shine to his hair. A warm swelling feeling built in his chest at the sight, something that was happening more often, something James couldn't barely explain, even to himself.
He pulled back a little, settling back onto the pillow as Q's breath quickened, his eyes flickering behind his eyelids as he woke. Slowly Q blinked open his eyes, uncurling a bit and stretching, lazily grinning at James.
And suddenly it hit. Unforgivingly and with the force of a bat to the head, leaving James dazed. He loved Q. He trusted Q with his life, his body, his heart. He was in love with Q. His lips parted as he sucked in a breath that was almost a gasp and reached a slightly tremulous hand up to gently frame Q's face.
"I love you." He whispered, his voice rough. Q smiled, covering James' hand with his.
"Good morning to you too." He smiled, but James shook his head, pressing closer till their foreheads were almost touching.
"Q. I love you." He said, desperately trying to make Q understand. Q looked between his eyes, quickly becoming more aware. A smile slowly grew on his lips, his eyes brightening with happiness.
"You mean it? You really do?" James could only nod, his chest filled to the brim with warmth, with love. "Oh, finally." Q breathed, moving forward to kiss him. "Finally. I love you too." He murmured against James' lips.