Chapter 5

Edoc esrom

All around chatter filled the air. Many people were laughing and smiling, milling around tall wooden structures. Suddenly a light ring cut through the buzzing.

"Alright! Time for my speech!" called out the tall blond man. He looked over at the happy couple and smirked.

"Apparently I'm allowed to be embarrassing as I want! This should be fun! Now Pine Tree… oh Pine Tree I remember when I first met you! You were so sweaty and awkward I figured you'd never get a girlfriend… now you married… how is it that I'm still single?"

"You don't get out enough Caesar!" the bride cried in annoyance. The crowd laughed. The blond glared at them all

"Who's supposed to be embarrassing who lla… Pacifica? Right! Me! So shush! Anyways, you and Mabel were so cute back then. All those times you were running around getting in trouble. I bet you gave your Grunkles heart attacks everyday… I'm sure if they could be here they'd have stories to tell." In explicably he caught a tall brunettes eyes amid the crowd and blinked. The crowd frowned in confusion. Bill blinked a few times before he cleared his throat. "Anyways, that's beside the point. While I might find it a bit unfair Dipper, that you're getting married before I am, I wish a very happy and long marriage!" there was applause after that. And the crowd continued their muttering. Bill made his way over to his seat. Dipper leaned over and muttered in his ear.

"What was that all about?" he asked. Bill smirked.

"Just something about your wedding present." Bill said before he blinked. Dipper frowned.

"What… why are you blinking?" Bill blinked again.

"Wait? Did I blink?" Bill asked. Dipper nodded and Pacifica nodded also. Bill smacked himself in the forehead and groaned. "I hate having multiple eyelids! It was so much easier to wink before. How am I supposed to control one eyelid separate from the other? It's impossible!" Bill complained.

"No it's not." Dipper said before he winked. Bill glared at him.

"Oh now you're just rubbing it in." Bill commented with a glare. Pacifica was the first to broach a new subject.

"What's this about a wedding gift Bill?" she asked. Bill blinked then smirked.

"oh I have a feeling you'll enjoy what I cooked up… it's a bit risky… but I have a feeling everything will be find… it's only twenty four hours… what can happen in that time?" Bill commented with an offhand shrug. Dipper frowned.

"I'm not sure what you're planning Bill but I think you'll find a lot can happen in twenty four hours. " Dipper said worriedly. Bill batted his hand down with a smug look.

"Relax Pine tree, just meet me with Mabel and Pacifica at the UFO hatch after this is all over. You'll be happily surprised I'm sure." Bill assured. Dipper was still a bit worried but turned to Pacifica as someone tap their drinks for them to kiss.

Pacifica stood on the hill and smiled. Dipper looked at her and frowned.

"What is it?" he asked. Pacifica smiled.

"You proposed to me here." She said with a happy smile. Dipper smiled and they leaned in for a kiss. Bill appeared between them in demon form.

"Okay okay! Break it up! Yeesh you're gonna make me gag!" he cried. Pacifica chuckled.

"You're just jealous." Pacifica said smugly. Bill didn't comment. Mabel walked up the hill and looked around.

"I don't see any aliens…" she said in confusion.

"Look down." Dipper insisted. Mabel stared at the grass then looked at Dipper with a raised eyebrow. Dipper gestured to the mountains and Mabel finally got it. She stared at him in shock before she looked down at her feet.

"Wow." She said quietly. Dipper just chuckled a bit. Bill glanced behind to them before he looked off to the setting sun.

"this is going to be my most impressive feat of distorted reality I've ever done… but I think it's worth it… this is my wedding gift to you Dipper… but it's also a sort of birthday gift for you and Mabel… even though I know your birthdays aren't until next week…" Mabel and Dipper frowned a bit but glanced at the triangle. After a few seconds Bill changed. He rapidly switched through forms as he screamed gibberish. "UHAOLUXHTC! HTAED FO ETSAT RETTIB EHT ESREVER! HTAERB WARD OD DESAECED EHT OS! EFIL FO HCUOT NEDLOG THAT NRUTER! EFIRTS DLO EHT OT NRUTER YEHT DNA EKIRTS SKCOLC OWT NEHT!" suddenly before them was strange whirling portal not unlike the one StanFord had built. The trio stood there the seas spray wiping into their face. Suddenly out of the strange portal a fist wearing brass knuckles pounded into Bills face. He went flying back.

"ACK! BILL!" Pacifica cried as she rushed to his side. Dipper grabbed the assailant held his arm behind his back. As he did he heard a humming noise from behind him before the rushing sound of the portal closing. Dipper felt the tip of a gun on the back of his head.

"Oh… oh no…" Bill moaned from the grassy hilltop. Pacifica was trying t get him up.

"Come on Bill."

"My nose... oh my nose, it's broken for sure… he broke my nose." Bill groaned. Pacifica scoffed.

"You don't have a nose Bill! You're a triangle!" Pacifica cried.

"Well I'm sure it'll be broken when I revert back to human form!" Bill argued.

"Your human for is an illusion you put on in front of people! You explained it to me months ago!" Pacifica cried in annoyance. She stood and looked at Dipper before he mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. Mabel was in the exact same position. Dipper still hadn't moved. He was frozen holding who ever this was' arm behind his back. After a few seconds the man grunted.

"Ford hurry up and shoot the kid will ya! Before he breaks my arm!" he growled.

"Quiet Stanley!"

"Don't you quiet Stanley me!" the man yelled back. Dipper released the man in shock. Quick as lightning the man whipped around and tried to punch Dipper out. Dipper caught the man's fist in his own and stared at his face in shock.

"… G… Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked in shock. Stan's eyes widened in shock.

"Dipper?" the gun at Dipper's head clicked.

"Don't listen to it Stanley. It's Bill pulling a trick on us. He must want something. I don't know how he escaped but he wouldn't do this unless he thought he had something to gain.

"Oh Sixer!" Bill said appearing at Ford shoulder. "You always did assume the worst of me." He said draping an arm over Ford shoulder. "You want proof, asked something only Dipper would know. I can't know everything about good old pine tree…" Bill said as he drifted away. Ford looked between the triangle and the man who was still staring at Stan. After a few seconds he cleared his throat.

"What are words to work by, but not to live?" Ford asked in the riddled form he had taught him.

"Trust no one." Dipper replied. Ford dropped lowered his gun in shock.

"My god… it's really you?" Ford asked. Mabel answered for Dipper by running and giving him a hug. She sobbed heavily into his sea soaked coat. Meanwhile Dipper was doing the very same with Stanley. After a while Dipper held him at arm's length and let his arms fall. Stanley looked over at Pacifica and frowned.

"What's Northwest doing here? Last in knew you two hated each other?" Stan said. Pacifica smiled.

"It's Pacifica Pines now." She said. Both Ford and Stan stared at her before they looked at Dipper. Dipper smiled.

"You're our wedding gift from Bill." The pair looked around but Bill was nowhere to be found. Pacifica looked a bit worried.

"I'll go look for him." she said before she ran off into the direction of the town. Ford rushed to follow her but Dipper stopped him.

"It's fine… Bill isn't the same anymore… Pacifica has actually been living with him for almost a year now…" Stan and Ford stared at him like he was crazy. Dipper sighed. "It's a bit of a long story." The pair looked at him expectantly. "which I apparently have to tell… it started about a year after you left… the phone call came late in the night… dinner had been eaten, pigs had been fed, pajamas had been put on… it was the worst time really…"

"And… well… that's the end… Pacifica and I have spent the last few months planning our wedding… honestly it's been pretty slow compared to what I was used to for the past twenty years…" Dipper finished after an hours of explaining what happened in the last twenty years that the Stan twins had been gone. Ford and Stan were sitting at the mystery shack as if no time had passed. There was silence before Stan finally slammed his fist on the table.

"Oh for! Dammit I'm gonna be the impulsive one and ask! What were you think you idiot!" Stan cried as he stood and smack Dipper on the back of the head. "Didn't you learn anything from us? The next time somebody dies if you don't stick by Mabel I'm gonna ask that triangle monster to make me haunt you got it!" Stan threatened angrily. Dipper chuckled and nodded.

"I was waiting for that… you always scolded me for doing stupid stuff like that in high school… I spent all of my later teen years with your voice in my head berating me for dropping out."

"YOU DROPPED OUT?!" both Ford and Stan cried in indignation. Dipper smacked himself in the forehead for being such an idiot.

Ford groaned as he slumped into the couch on the back porch. Stan slouched beside him. The both looked at the Pines around them and sighed.

"Feels strange… knowing that in our timeline I'll never see this place again." Ford said quietly. Stan sighed.

"I apologize in advance for not being there to keep you out of trouble… though I have a feeling you went looking for it you nerdy idiot." Stan said punching Ford in the shoulder. Ford growled.

"Oh I'm sure I had to save you as many time you impulsive moron!" Ford argued. The two growled before Mabel chuckled from the doorway. They both looked at her. She stood in front of them.

"Just like always… you two always fought…" she murmured. Settled down on the couch between the two and stared up at the pines. "All through high school I surrounded myself with hundreds of people… I was so concern with being popular and having lots of friend that I left my first ever friend behind… and when there was no one left… I expected him to be waiting for me… but he wasn't." Mabel said looking out into the pines. "You shouldn't be mad at Dipper for what he did… we were both at fault… Dipper shouldn't have left its true… but I should have been his sister… we really did end up just like you two…" with that Mabel stood again and smiled at her beloved Grunkles. "I missed you… both of you… so much…" with that Mabel slipped back into the house. Ford and Stan looked at each other before they looked back out into the pine trees.

"You raised them pretty good Stanley." Ford commented as the sun started to set.

"Naw… their just good kids." Sat insisted. Ford smiled.

"You could be right about that." He said quietly. As darkness fell they went back into the Mystery Shack. Wherein Dipper and Mabel were trying to explain the situation to Soos before he had a heart attack.

Around ten in the morning Stan rose and made his way down stairs. Dipper was sitting at the kitchen table drink coffee reading the newspaper. Stan smiled a bi before he sat beside Dipper. Soon Pacifica walked in and placed a sleepy kiss on Dippers cheek. Ford was next to walk in. he poured himself a coffee before he asked for the paper. Stan found it strange that the room wasn't rocking, so used to having breakfast on the boat. Ford looked up from a paper a few times in confusion surely checking the same thing. As they were sitting there a domestic silence slipped over them. Mabel was the last to walk in and sit down at the kitchen table. She still looked a bit tired and she drank her glass of orange juice. There was more silence and Stan felt his eyes drop a bit as was prone in the early hours in the more.

"HEY SCIMITAR!" Bill screamed appearing in the center of the table. Stan jumped a mile, Ford fell out of his chair, and Mabel flung her juice across the table which jarred Pacifica out of her own tired stupor. Dipper was the only one unaffected though he did look decidedly cross. Stan was clutching his chest gasping for breath.

"Holy hot chocolate." he gasped. Bill was cackling like the mad man he was.

"You guys are the funniest humans ever you know that?" bill commented with laughter still in his voice. Dipper glared at Bill.

"What do you want that can't wait until later Bill?" he asked angrily. Bill floated silently for a few seconds before he sighed.

"They can't stay pine tree… you know that… it'd mess with the time line…" Bill said. Dipper frowned before he sighed.

"How long?" Dipper asked. Bill was silent again.

"About two hours… you slept in… say your goodbyes…" Bill insisted before he disappeared. The family looked across the table at each other thinking of the inevitable that would arrive just minutes from now.

Bill was waiting on the hill. Ford and Stan were talking with Pacifica who was laughing at their banter. Behind the trio Mabel and Dipper were dragging their feet. Suddenly from behind them Oakley came rushing out of the bushes.

"Mabel!" he cried. Mabel smiled and ran to give Oakley a hug and kiss on the cheek. Oakley looked up at the Stan twins in shock before he shook his head.

"You know what… I think I'm getting used to it, weird stuff just happens to you to you two."

"Who's the tall guy?" Stan asked with a slight glare.

"Oakley Corduroy, Wendy's younger brother, Mabel's boyfriend." Dipper responded.

"WHAT?!" both Stans cried in anger. Dipper blinked and winced in Mabel's behalf as they both marched down the hill to the pair. Pacifica shot a glare at Dipper who looked sheepish. From their spot on their hill the watch Oakley slowly pale as Ford flashed his gun and Stan showed off his brass knuckles. Meanwhile Mabel had puffed up and was glaring at them. After they were done the pair marched back up the hill.

"Did you see how he paled like that? I don't think he's got the strength for her." Stan grumbled.

"Humph, you might just be right." Ford complained. After they walked passed Dipper turned back. Mabel was standing in front of him. She punched him in the arm.

"You jerk." She muttered darkly. Dipper winced apologetically but the four of them, as the, though terrified, red haired man was still following them. Once they reached the top. They could see a bit of a scene. B ill was shaking hands with both Stans in human form. He looked up to Dipper and looked at him sadly. Dipper walked up to each of his uncles as Bill chanted his unusual phrase and opened the portal back up. Dipper was still in Stan's hug when he heard a whisper.

"Hey kid… I'm proud of you." Stan murmured. Dipper blinked in shock. When Stan released his hold he gave no indication that anything had transpired. "So hey before I go, is my tombstone bigger then Poindexter's?"

"WHAT?!" Ford cried out in anger. Dipper gulped.

"Erm… well…"

"Yes?" Stan asked with an angry face.

"It is." Mabel said "sort of." Dipper shot her a thankful look. She returned fire with a glance that clearly said 'you owe me'

"Sort of? What's that mean?"

"It's wider. And has more writing on it."

"HAHA BOOM!" Stan shouted at Ford.

"Can it Stanley!" Ford shouted back. Bill flew into Ford and shoved him in.

"All right come on!" he said dragging Stan over.

"I'll never forget this day." Stan said with a sigh.

"Oh! Now would be a good time to tell you that you won't be retaining any memories of today OKAY BYE!" Bill said as Stan turned to him in shock.

"Wait what!" Stan cried. All too soon the portal closed. Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, Oakley and Bill all stood on the hill. After a few minutes of silence Pacifica smiled before she turned to Dipper.

"We have a honeymoon to get to." She said. Dipper was silent before he sighed and smiled, turning to Mabel and Oakley. They were standing beside one another.

"Go have fun! Just don't forget us okay!" Mabel said with a smirk. Dipper walked over and gave Mabel a hug. He shook Oakley hand with a smile before he turned to Bill. He offered his hand. Bill smirked before he took his hand. There was no bargain, not trade off, simply a handshake between friends. With that Dipper and Pacifica made their way back into town. Bill stood on the hill with Mabel and Oakley.

"I know you're thinking it… all you people reading this…" Bill muttered looking into the sky. Mabel frowned at him.

"Who are you talking to?" she asked. Bill smiled.

"It's not done yet… not just yet…" Bill insisted. Mabel rolled her eyes.

"You're crazy…" she said with an indulgent tone.

"Sure I am. Your point?" Bill asked. Mabel just sighed.

"Come on, it's almost lunch." She said. Oakley nodded and the pair made their way off the hill. Bill stood there for a while before he made his way down. Just as he entered the forest a flock of red song birds flew across the clearing.

Bill was watching the couples as they danced. He glanced at the photo on the bar shelf and smiled. All around him people were talking. It was a familiar scene. Suddenly four familiar faces were before him. Bill smiled at them.

"CEASAR!" Mabel cried with a smile. Bill laughed.

"What do you want shooting star?"

"Pacifica reminded me of something! You never achieved your new year's resolution!" Bill paled.

"What? Heh heh! What are you talking about?! I didn't hear anything about a revolution!"

"Nice try Ceasar. Pacifica told me all about it." Dipper said with a laugh, Oakley laughed to.

"Yeah, Mabel said there was an embarrassing secret involved." Bill glared at the tall red head, dreaming of filling his life with terror.

"Come on Ceasar! It's just a secret." Pacifica said with a smile. Bill groaned then he smirked.

"But you didn't complete yours either! So you have to tell a secret too!" Pacifica paled. Mabel laughed.

"Alright… how bout this. We'll each reveal an embarrassing secret to the group. I'll go first… I still can't crochet…I'm great at knitting but I just can't figure out the looping and hooking…" Mabel said with a blush. Oakley cleared his throat and scratched his neck.

"I hate flannel." Everyone gapped at him. "I know I know… I just never had the self confidence to tell me family." Oakley admitted. Pacifica heaved a heavy sigh.

"I have a second middle name." Pacifica said quietly. Everyone waited expectantly. "Haggie-Anne" Mabel, Dipper, Bill and Oakley all snorted before bursting into laughter. Pacifica glared that them all. Everyone turned to Bill. The demon stared at them for a few seconds before he chuckled.

'Heh heh… I should have discouraged these relationships… you're all ganging up on me." The glared harder. Bill sweat a bit as their glares got harder and harder until finally. "ALRIGHT! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED MABEL TO KNIT ME A SWEATER BUT I'VE NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TO ASK AND I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE TOO WEIRD!" Bill shouted. The bar was quiet for a bit before people went back to dancing unfazed. Mabel was smiling at Bill and pulled a bright yellow sweater out of her bag. she pulled it on over bill's head and he looked down. On the collar a bow tie had been knitted into the pattern. "Wait…"

"I had it made this whole time you silly shape. You just had to ask." Mabel said. Bill smiled at her.

"Thanks…" Bill said. The he smirked and turned to Dipper. Everyone else in turned to him expectantly. Dipper looked at them and sighed.

"I suppose it's my turn hmm…"

"Of course. It's called a pact for a reason." Mabel said with a roll of her eyes.

"Come on, it can't be that bad." Oakley cried.

"Come on Dipper." Pacific said with a smile.

"Yeah pine tree! It's just one secret." Bill said with a dark chuckle. Both Dipper and Pacifica shot Bill a warning look before Dipper took a deep breath.

"Alright…" Dipper said with a heavy sigh.

"My real name is…"

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A/N: I'm the worlds biggest troll…

And I really don't care…

Feel free to message me for the answers to the ciphers… they're harder this time… I was just testing your knowledge.

Until next time