Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise
Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised
-Halsey

Chapter 2
Pacifica Northwest

I liked the way he said my name… his voice had gotten lower and he's pretty damn tall now too, about four or five inches taller than me. Plus I didn't know if it was possible for his hair to be curlier but hell, it was. And his-

Stop thinking about how he looks, Pacifica! Look away!

I looked away.

Observations. I had one too many observations and I've seen only him for about a minute or so. Less even.

Relax. You knew that he was going to be here when you applied for the job.

The original plan was to avoid Dipper Pines at all cost, at least for a couple of days. That obviously didn't work. It was my dad's fault why I was currently stuck at Gravity Falls for the summer. He told me he had a surprise so of course I was ecstatic (more or less). It turned out to be one cringe worthy surprise. Since I only get to spend time with my dad during summer, because of the custody, he'd always book a trip somewhere out there and it'll be just the two of us (sometimes) for the next three months. I'd still be spending the majority months by myself trying my best to avoid my father which wasn't difficult since he'd rather spend his time at the vacation house and work since the business has been having its ups and downs ever since Bill Cipher, aka that stupid one eyed triangle whose voice sounds like it's been auto-tuned, decided to ruin everything. Every little god damn thing that was important to me.

"Pacifica?"

I returned my attention to the boy in front of me, surprised that I've spaced out. He needs to stop saying my name.

I gave out a nervous laugh and scratched the back of my head. "Uhm, yeah. My dad wanted to spend the summer here."

He was looking at me so intently with his eyes all narrowed as if making sure that I wasn't a mirage. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

I thought posing in front of a camera was nerve-wracking but standing in front his gaze was ten times worse. My palms were starting to sweat and I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath.

Say. Something.

"So…" we both said at the same time.

Oh, great. I was most probably blushing. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was something else.

Dipper shook his head and chuckled. "Well this is awkward."

I faked a smile, something that took a few years to master, and met his eyes. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." I took him in again which I told myself I shouldn't, but who cares. He was wearing a light blue shirt, khaki shorts and was paired with sneakers. He looked the same yet still very different. Same brown eyes, same annoying smile. His hair was cut short now, however he still had bangs that covered his birthmark. I couldn't help but notice how toned his limbs were, not in a super muscular kind of way, but muscles just the same. Yep, Dipper Pines had muscles.

I wonder if he has abs.

My eyes widened at the thought.

STFU, NORTHWEST.

I wondered if I looked different to him.

"You work at the Shack?" he asked.

I nodded. "I just started last week."

He clicked his tongue and nodded.

Silence.

Awkward. Silence.

It took me a moment to realize that I was blocking his way and that I might miss the last bus ride to town. I stepped forward abruptly which caused him to take a step back. "Sorry, I'm in your way. I should go. You must be exhausted from the drive."

For a second I thought he was going to stop me, but he checked his wrist watch and looked behind him to see that the sun was starting to set. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow or uhm, whenever I suppose."

I was about to wave a good bye when a voice from behind him said, "Wow. We've been here for five minutes and you're already flirting with the new staff. Good job, baby bro." A familiar brunette stood beside Dipper and she tried (and failed) to put and arm around his shoulder because of the height difference. She still hadn't recognize me by this point since she held out her free hand and introduced herself. "Hi! I'm Mabel. Don't mind my brother he can be…" her voice trailed off and her head started to tilt to the side, a confused look was plastered on her face. "Pacifica??"

I wasn't sure how to respond. Hug? Cheek to cheek kiss? I mean, I used to be friends with Mabel, good friends even, after we were, you know, "enemies". But she's Dipper's sister, twin sister, and what I did few summers back would make you question the status of our friendship. With that in mind, I simply stood there awkward as ever I bet my mother would not be proud at my stance. 'Watch your posture, darling,' is what she'd probably say.

"Yeah. It's me."

"Oh my God," Mabel whispered, her shock was clear as day. And to my surprise she left her brother's side and gave me a quick hug. Once she let me go she said, "You're here. You're in Gravity Falls."

I smiled. A genuine one this time. Mabel Pines had that effect on people. That, or she'll annoy you to death but most the time it's the former. "Yes, I am."

"And you work for Grunkle Stan."

"Yeah, I started a week ago," I repeated my answer to her.

"Why the hell are you working for Grunkle Stan?" was her follow up question.

I managed to laugh. "I needed to do something while I'm here and the Shack was the only one hiring."

"Ah, you had no choice then. Understandable. How are you? It's been so long."

I didn't answer right away because I wasn't exactly sure how I was. I decided to stick to the usual. "I'm alright," I said. I was about to ask her the same question when I noted something different about her. I wasn't even thinking when I blurted it out. "You don't have braces anymore!"

Mabel beamed up at me, showing off her pearly whites. "I got them out before the trip actually. It feels strange to not have them anymore. I feel like my teeth are naked," she joked. "You though! You dyed your hair brown! I didn't recognize you at first."

I said, "It's my natural hair color," the very same moment Dipper blurted out, "It's her natural hair color."

I paused and our gazes locked once again and I remembered how this used to happen a lot before.

Before. Before. Before.

Not now, not at the moment, not presently, because I messed it all up for the two of us.

Mabel looked back and forth between Dipper and me. She pointed at Dipper. "How did you… oh. Right. Oh God, how could I forget." She laughed nervously. How to make a situation even more uncomfortable that usual? Add Mabel Pines to the equation. "Well, this isn't awkward at all. Nope. Not weird whatsoever."

See what I mean?

"You can say that again," we both said in freaking unison once more.

God, help me.

"Oooookay then." Mabel clasped her hands together as if trying to figure a way out of this mess. She then looked at Dipper with nothing but determination. "Baby bro, the bags, yes?"

"Ah. Right." He didn't even mind that his sister used the nickname I knew he hated. Dipper started grabbing one bag after the other. I tried not to stare at his biceps as he did so. Tried.

Well, that was probably my cue to leave. "I was just headed out as well."

Mabel looked at the parking space in front of the Shack. "Yeah?" she asked. I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say next. "Is someone gonna pick you up?"

She asked because the only cars that were parked were Dipper's and hers.

Maybe it was just me, but I felt Dipper's eyes on me. He still hasn't carried the bags inside yet. Of course they were going to assume that I own a car and that I drove it to work. Duh. But yeah, well, I do have a car. I just left it at my mom's place, on the other side of the country. Or maybe they thought I still had a chauffeur. Nope. Nada.

"No." I shrugged. Act like it's not a big deal and they'll think it's not a big deal. "I'm taking the bus home."

"The bus?" Mabel was trying to mask her surprise. "I mean, oh, okay."

I wanted to know what they were thinking but it was silly. I was sick and tired of being judged, of being pitied to the point that it started to get annoying. Of course the first thing that popped inside people's head when they hear my surname were dollar signs. But that was before the events of Weirdmageddon. That was five long years ago. After that, the Northwest Manor was sold, we moved to a smaller house, my parents started fighting over the pettiest things, a year later they split up, the custody was granted to my mother since well, the court thought that because she was the mother, they assumed she could take care of me, but neither of my parents could so why even bother with custody, right? We then moved to New York, mom got married less than a fucking year after to some politician, we moved to Washington DC, and more shittier (yes, I know, more shittier is grammatically incorrect but I'm trying to make a point so never mind) things have happened. And just when things have started to calm down, just when I've started to get the hang of all the changes, dad and his little surprise had to ruin everything.

I was so engrossed in my little ranting spree inside my head that l was startled by the sound of fingers snapping. It was Mabel's. "Earth to Pacifica? HELLO?"

To my utter embarrassment, I leapt in shock. "Sorry," I said, trying to regain my composure. "I spaced out. What were you saying?"

The twins looked concerned and it was making me uncomfortable. This was the last thing that I wanted.

"I was offering you a ride," Mabel said. "I'm headed to town anyway. I'm having dinner with Grenda and Candy to catch up."

Dipper, who was still standing there with two duffels, one on each hand and the others were still on the wooden floor, suddenly broke his silence. "I thought you were going to the pool?"

"We re-scheduled. It was getting late," she answered. She turned back to me a second later. "So? Want to catch a ride? I promise I won't kill you."

I should've declined. But for whatever reason, I didn't. I grinned, honestly thankful that she asked. I hated riding that smelly old bus. "Sure. Thanks."

We've been on the road for a few minutes now and since then I've told Mabel the directions to my dad's house and Mabel turned the radio on but she didn't like the songs any of the stations were playing so she plugged her phone in and a Disney song started to play. Followed by another. And another one. She had a Disney playlist. Why am I not surprised?

I was bothered by the fact that she hasn't started a conversation yet since Mabel Pines loved to talk. I was starting to think that she was actually regretting to give me a ride or that it was a wrong decision for me to have accepted. Has she forgiven me for what I did to her brother? To her? Should I bring it up?

"Is that really your natural hair color?" Mabel asked, breaking the silence.

Thank goodness.

"Yeah," I answered as Hakuna Matata started to play. I absentmindedly tugged my hair. It wasn't as long as it used to since I chopped all the blonde off and had to be really patient for brown to grow back.

"Dipper and I used to argue whether you were really blonde, you know? Even after…" she paused, "that summer. I had no idea that he actually knew."

Of course I knew which summer she was referring to.

I made him promise not to tell anyone.

I didn't know he actually kept it after all these years.

It happened four years ago, late June or early July, I couldn't recall. But I knew it was two weeks after that silly argument we had that ended with one of us kissing the other.

We were seated on a bench by the lake. Side by side, our arms touching, and he was trying to hold my hand without being an awkward almost fourteen-year-old boy and I was trying not to notice his efforts. I swear I had the butterflies. I never admitted it out loud since I was still confused and partly in denial at the time. I was hanging out with Dipper Pines. And I was enjoying every minute of it. Has the world gone mad?

He managed to slip his fingers through mine and I looked at our hands linked together and I liked it. I hoped my hand wasn't too sweaty, I kept on thinking. We sat there in silence, enjoying each other's company.

Oh wow, if somebody told me a year ago that I'd be spending so much time with Dipper Pines, I wouldn't believe them. I would have probably laughed and be grossed out about it too.

Ha. Jokes on me then.

Dipper gave my hand a little squeeze and turned to look at me. "You know, I've been meaning to ask… why do you have a bandanna on? You've been sporting it for a few weeks now."

Maybe I was enjoying the moment way too much because I leaned closer to him and answered his question truthfully. "Because my roots are starting to show."

I felt him freeze up beside me. "Your what?"

I realized my mistake a second too late. I immediately let go of his hand and instinctively checked if my purple bandanna was still wrapped around head securely.

It was.

But just like that, the moment was gone.

I couldn't take it back. I bit the insides of my cheek and clasped my hands together. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

He didn't respond. Instead he had this expression on his face that I couldn't fathom. I immediately admitted in a defensive tone, "What you said before was right. I do have fake blonde hair. I bleach my hair blonde and I usually touch up my roots the moment they start to grow but I've been lazy lately so I ended up with the bandanna." I didn't tell him that the reason why I've gone lazy to do so in the morning was because I was always excited to spend the day with him. He didn't need to know that. Dipper had this confused look on his face and I was so embarrassed. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "Come on then. Have a good laugh."

Dipper clamped his mouth shut at my last statement, clearly taken aback. A few beats later, he asked in a wary tone, "Why… why would I laugh?"

It wasn't a rhetorical question. He really did want me to answer. I chose my words carefully, "Because a lot of people have been suspecting that my hair isn't real? C'mon, you even said it yourself during the party last year. And now you do know it's fake."

I wanted to make him understand why this was such a big thing for me. He'd most probably think that it's stupid but to hell with it. "I've had blonde hair since I was five."

"What?"

I held up my hand, the hand that was holding his less than a minute ago. "Let me finish first."

Dipper wanted to say something different but instead, he nodded slowly in response.

I took a deep breath and continued explaining, "I know, I was young. I'm still young. It's insane. It still is. But my mom was the one who suggested it. She said I looked pretty with lighter hair and that it suited me more, so I went with it. And since I was home schooled and didn't have any close friends or go out as much, we both decided to make people believe that I was naturally blonde…" my voice trailed off, making me realize how messed up the whole thing sounded when voiced out.

I wished I could say that it started as a joke between my mother and I but it wasn't. It was all planned. "And being a five-year-old hearing your own mother say that you looked pretty with lighter hair? I'm not sure if her choice of words were wrong but she said pretty. Not prettier. So did that mean that…"

I couldn't even finish the sentence. There were certain childhood memories that you simply retained in your brain and my mom impliedly telling me that I wasn't pretty with my natural hair color, the color I inherited from her, was something that never left me.

So blonde hair it was. For almost nine years. More than half of my life.

I stood to leave, I've embarrassed myself enough already. I didn't care if Dipper no longer wanted to spend time with me. Or maybe I did.

I don't know anymore.

He grabbed hold of my wrist and said my name and told me to stay. I couldn't face him. My shoulders sagged and I was on the verge of tears. Don't cry over your stupid hair, Pacifica. "You win," I managed to say. "Laugh all you want, tell everybody."

I heard him stand.

"Look at me, Pacifica," he calmly spoke and when I didn't, he let go if my wrist and placed his hands on my shoulders and slowly spun me until we were face to face. He was still about the same height as me, maybe taller by half an inch, so I still had a great view of his eyes. Dang, those eyes.

"I'm not going to laugh, okay? I don't care about your hair color. It could be red, black, blonde, brown, pink, or even all the colors of the rainbow. It wouldn't matter. What would matter is what you think. Not what your mother thinks."

"But last year-"

"But last year is last year. It's in the past. It's not now. Things are different now... you know that right? I know what I said and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. And I won't tell anybody. I promise."

Dipper Pines had a way with words. And I swear, if he kept this going, I'd probably be a goner.

I nodded. "I'm sorry too. For overreacting."

And before I changed my mind, I reached for the back of my head, undid the knot of my bandanna and slipped it off. I wasn't sure how much of my natural hair color was already showing, probably a few inches, but I do know it's the longest my roots have ever been without me bleaching them. I used do a touch up almost every week before. The first sight of brown hair? Bleach and tone right away.

I managed to find Dipper's eyes and he was looking at me intently.

"Light hazel," Dipper said as brushed a few strands of my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. "Who would've thought?" There was a slight pause before he asked, "Pacifica?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm about to kiss you now."

The butterflies in my stomach went berserk.

"Okay."

And he did.

And I liked it.

A lot.

The sound of the car's honking pulled me back to reality. I jumped from my seat and mentally cursed myself for spacing out. Again.

A song from the movie Tangled was playing through the stereo.

Mabel gave me a sideways glance. "Sorry. But the car in front of us is driving super slow. Slower than Dipper and that's saying something."

We were already in the town proper which meant that we were near dad's house. I took notice of the said vehicle which had a 'Student Driver' sticker on it and grinned. "You're being mean. That's a student driver." I couldn't hide the amusement in my voice.

Mabel was smiling behind the wheel. "Yeah, well, he or she sucks."

"C'mon, you were probably like that during Driving School."

"Nope. I was such a pro."

We both laughed until the poor student driver in front us took a left and Mabel finally rejoiced. For the rest of the drive, Mabel ended up updating me with the latest Gravity Falls gossip ever since I've been away and I couldn't help but think how much I envied how carefree she was and how much I did not deserve this friendship.

Author's notes: Sorry for the late update! Been very busy with uni lately. I also wanted to thank those who have reviewed/favorited/followed 1234! It means a lot to me! Aaaaand omg, have you guys watched Civil War already? BECAUSE OH MY GOD, YOU SHOULD. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

Don't forget to leave a review! (only if you want, totally not forcing you lol)

Until the next update!

-VCL (5/2/16)