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What To Do If You Raise The Dead

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There was a tradition among Echo Creek's high school student's: Every autumn, those brave enough would travel to Isolation Point, and spend the night at the pioneer cemetery there. Over the years it became less of a right-of-passage, and more of a party with age-appropriate beverages and an improvised sound system.

This was the first year Marco and Star could attend, and Mabel (and by extension Dipper) wouldn't give up the opportunity to join in. The four teens entered the clearing where a bonfire lit the center. Only a few what-might-have-been gravestones suggested this was the right place, but the music and kids with red plastic cups made it clear that accuracy didn't matter.

The group dispersed according to their nature. Star and Mabel gravitated to the center of attention, while the boys drifted to the outer rim.

Dipper was almost within the tree-line when a voice stopped him. "Hey. It's cool you were able to make it."

"Uh, yeah." The boy turned. "Just tryin' to, y'know, get in the spirit of things."

"Nice, nice." Jackie Lynn Thomas stepped closer, offering him a miscellaneously safe drink.

Dipper took it gratefully.

"So, I gotta ask: Are the rumors about you true?"

To his credit, Dipper only choked a little bit. "What? No, no, no! We were home the whole time! The police report said the fire was caused by a faulty electrical system."

"Uh… I meant the other rumor."

The brunette pinched the bridge of his nose. "Not the Pinecest thing? I thought we left that behind us at our old school."

Jackie quirked an eyebrow. "What's Pinecest? Some kinda air-freshener or something?"

"Uh, yeah…" Dipper's eyes shifted nervously. "It's an air-freshener… So, what rumor were you talkin' about?"

"Er, well, like that you talked back to Brittney Wong."

"Oh, that." The boy relaxed. "I've dealt with girls like her before, it's no big deal."

Jackie looked at him skeptically.

"Plus it's not like I'm gonna be here too long." He added bashfully. "So it doesn't matter who I upset."

"Well, either way, that's still pretty rad."

"Nah." Dipper propped himself against a tree, his fake confidence reasserting itself. "Like I said, nothing out of the ordinary for me."

Jackie leaned next to him. "Hey, maybe you and me could, y'know, hang out sometime."

Dipper spat out his drink. "Wait, are you- that is- um- is that- did- are you asking me out on a date?"

The girl's cheeks flushed slightly. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Wow. Wow." He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "I was not expecting that."

Jackie giggled. "So, what do you say?"

"Oh man. I wish I could say yes."

The girl's face fell.

"No, no! In any other situation I would!" Dipper waved his hands defensively. "I mean, you're like, the coolest girl in school. I'd have to be crazy not to want to go out with you."

That just made her look confused.

"The thing is, a friend of mine has a crush on you, and it would be really crumby of me to go out with you knowing that."

While not back to her usual self, Jackie did brighten up. "Oh yeah? Who's your friend?"

"I can't tell you." Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "That's for him to do."

The girl stood silently for a while.

"But it would be cool if we could hang out together." The twin said. "Y'know, as friends."

Jackie smiled. "Yeah, as friends."

"Corpus Levitus!"

"Wait. Did you hear that?" Dipper said.

"Hear what?"

"Diablo Dominus!"

"Crud!" The boy ran off. "No, don't!"

"MONDO VICIUM!"

Too late! Dipper came upon Janna and some of her friends standing around one of the pioneer graves.

The ground shook. A fissure opened in front of the kids. A rotting corpse dragged itself out of the hole. The girls screamed, except for Janna who looked on in wide-eyed excitement, until the ghoul grabbed her leg.

A rock crashed down on the zombie's head, and Dipper shouted, "Run!"

More cracks opened as the girls joined the main group. New screams erupted as the zombie horde approached the high schoolers. Dipper grabbed the shovel used to dig the fire pit (at least, that's what he hoped it was there for. After the blatant misuse of dark magic, he couldn't be sure), and started decapitating the undead. A grappling hook whizzed past his head, followed by a narwhal blast. After a well-placed kick reduced a ghoul to dust, Marco stood next to Dipper, followed by Star and Mabel.

"Dipper, what did you do?!" - "Star, what did you do?!" Mabel and Marco shouted simultaneously.

"It wasn't me!" The other pair answered in sync.

"It was Janna." Dipper explained.

"Hey! I didn't know it would actually work!"

"What do we do now?" Mabel asked. "Explode their heads again?"

"No time. We're surrounded." Dipper said. "We need to get to a defensible position first."

Taking charge, the boy continued.

"Star! You're on point. Use your wand to blast us a path out of here. Mabel, Marco, you two flank us. Make sure the group stays together, and get the zombies that try to surround us. I'll take up the rear."

"Ha! Rear."

"Mabel! This is serious!"

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Assuming their positions, the four teens herded their peers through the forest. It wasn't hard to outrun the zombies' shuffling gait, but the fight wasn't over. They paused at a chasm with a rope bridge. While their classmates crossed in single file, the four friends stood aside to talk.

Still in command, Dipper spoke first. "Okay. You two," He pointed to his sister and Marco. "Get everyone to high ground. Me and Star will hold the zombies here."

Star nodded, wearing her 'serious' face, but Marco was having second thoughts. "By yourselves? But we can take the zombies out together."

The other boy shook his head. "We don't know how many there are. We have to get the others to safety in case we die."

"Wait. What?"

"Lead them out of here, then come back to help us. We have to contain this here."

"He's right Marco." Star laid her hand on the boy's shoulder. "With my wand and the bridge, I could hold this place on my own. Keep the others safe, and we'll wait for you to get back."

Of course Marco saw the logic in the plan, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Strangely enough, Mabel seemed fine with leaving her brother to face death's jaws. Reluctantly, the boy crossed the bridge, and led his classmates along the path.

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It wasn't long before the undead entered the clearing.

"We've got them bottlenecked, we just gotta hold them here."

Star rolled her eyes. "I know military tactics, I had the royal guard as my babysitters."

A goofy grin overtook the princess' face. So, you jab your thumb in there until you hear a sound like a grape popping. And once you don't feel any more pressure, you done it.

A shovel bashed the ghoul that was about to bite Star's neck.

"Oh. Right." She started blasting zombies.

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By the time Mabel and Marco got their classmates to safety and returned to the battle, their friends were on the near side of the bridge, preventing zombies from crossing.

"You're pretty good with that thing." Star panted.

Grunting, Dipper managed to say, "Yeah, the shovel's a really underrated weapon. It can chop, thrust, and bludgeon. As an added bonus, you can also use it as a shovel. You're not so bad yourself."

"Well, y'know, it's a talent." She aimed her wand. "CHINCHILLA BOMBARDMENT!"

While fluffy rodents murdered a row of zombies, the others ran forward.

"So. What's the plan?" Mabel asked.

"Finally!" Dipper said. "Star, cut the bridge."

The blonde followed his orders (something she'd wonder at later, considering she was a princess and all).

Dipper flipped through his phone, before looking at the other boy, "Marco! Do you know the words to Disco Girl?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, "Maybe."

"Then sing man!" Dipper started the music on his phone. "Sing for your life!"

The twins sang along to the tune, and after some prompting, got Marco to join. All the while, Star recorded the event on her friend's phone, giggling, "Hehe, so cute!"

But, despite the adorableness, the zombies wailed in pain as their heads exploded one by one. It wasn't long before the undead horde was destroyed.

"What… What the heck just happened?" Marco asked.

"Zombies can be killed with a perfect three-part harmony." Dipper explained nonchalantly.

"And you totally nailed it dude!" Mabel socked the boy's shoulder. "Have you ever thought about taking up singing?"

"Oh, um…"

"Well you should." Mabel wrapped a more-than-friendly arm around him.

"That was awesome!" Star exclaimed. "I can do that too!" The princess lifted her wand and let a warbling sound emanate from it.

The twin slapped his forehead. "Guess I should've mentioned that earlier."

"Ya think?" Marco tried to pull himself from Mabel's grasp.

Dipper sighed. "Well, we should probably get everyone back home. We should also figure out where Janna learned that spell from. Where are they?"

"Oh, we sent them up a condemned lookout tower." Mabel said. "Probably gonna need the fire department to get them down actually."

Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose. "High ground?"

"High ground." Mabel chirped.

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