A/N: I'm sorry for the vague summary, but I did not want to spoiler everything. There's a lot of warnings (there's death and possible death, and there's also some violence), so if you're triggered by that sort of thing, don't read it. It's going to be a two-part one-shot. Saying 'enjoy' or 'have fun' does not seem quite appropriate, but I hope you can somehow appreciate this fic. Have a good day!

Astra's eyes grew wide as they dropped to the height of Alex's chest, two fragments of a broken window having slipped between her ribs. Blood was seeping from the wounds, and Alex was fruitlessly trying to keep the pieces of glass in place, so it could not cause any more harm.

Astra was quick enough to catch her, keeping her from collapsing forwards, and laid her down gently – even moreso than she normally would considering the fact that she always held back from her superstrength around fragile beings. Her constant contact with humans had taken care of that.

"Alex," she breathed, trying not to speak too loud, as if words would make the wounds that Alex had sustained worse. Alex's eyes moved from her chest wound to Astra's eyes, and for the first time Astra knew Alex, she saw fear in her eyes. She briefly wondered if she feared death itself, or leaving behind everyone that loved her. Everyone that she loved. "Alexandra."

"Astra," Alex heaved, her voice weak and low, barely audible over the noises around them. Astra almost forgot that they were not alone, but she turned all her attention to Alex. She had to do something. There had to be something she could do to help Alex, to save her.

"You have to remain conscious." Astra insisted. Alex's hands were trembling, causing the shards to move, so she laid her hand over Alex's, steadying them. "Do not close your eyes."

"Astra," Alex tried again, her eyes running out of focus, but despite that she put all the effort in training her eyes on Astra's. "Tell Kara.." She spat out a gulp of blood that deprived her from saying the words she needed to say. Astra was out of her depth, not knowing enough about the human anatomy to be of much help. "That I.. love her.. and.. I'm sorry." Alex sputtered.

She was out of breath, and from the way she sounded, Astra guessed she did not have long. She felt a panic rise up in her body, one she had never experienced in that proportion. It threw her off, but she did not grant it another thought. There were more pressing matters at that moment, and Astra was not going to waste any more seconds than were necessary.

"She knows, brave one." Astra reassured her, leaning closer to the human that was in such a painful predicament. She was almost afraid to shift her, but she wanted to make the younger woman somewhat more comfortable, so she did nevertheless.

Seconds were ticking by, but it seemed like they were lasting for ages. Something Astra was grateful for, because it gave her some time to think about her next move. Being a general had always kept her quick on her feet, and even moreso with making decisions, but this time she was at a loss. She was not certain how to proceed, what would do more damage.

And on top of it all, she was in the field. They were in battle. They were relatively shielded from the rest of the fight, but if she were to fly Alex out, to a safe place, a hospital or the DEO headquarters, they were going to be made, and Astra was not sure if she could get Alex out of there safely if she had to defend themselves. She had one tactic in mind, but she was not ready to play it out yet. In case things did not work out.. She would not forgive herself if she let Alex die alone in an attempt to get them out safely.

She would have died alone, and she knew that her niece would not forgive her for that. She would want her sister to know how loved she was.

Kara would have done everything within her power to rescue Alex. But at this point Astra was not sure if that were a possibility. Which was a thought she tried to push to the back of her mind. She did not want to think about it, nor did she want to believe it. Even if a battle was lost from practical view, she would die fighting. Giving up was not an option.

Astra squeezed Alex's hand gently. She wanted to be reassuring, and did not have any idea as to what she could say to make the situation better. More bearable.

And the situation got worse when she felt the presence of another being, and when she turned her head, she saw Non flying over the car that was keeping them separate from the rest of the world. The decision was made. She had to protect them from Non. Had to protect Alex from him.

She felt an anger flare up within her. One that was not familiar to herself. She had felt anger before, sure, but she was used to keep it in check. Leading an army was something that required her to be objective, and anger almost always biased that objectivity.

And yet, she felt like this anger was different from the kind of anger she had felt before. She had felt lots of different kinds of anger. When her sister had lured her, using Kara and her spy beacon as bait. When Krypton had exploded, and the last that she had seen of her family was the day of the ruling. How she had suffered for years in Fort Rozz. How it had changed her.

Then, when she had arrived at planet Earth, she opted to do the same thing she did on Krypton, wanting to save it by the same means as she had on Krypton. The very definition of insanity: trying to do the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

It had taken twelve years to realize that. Twelve years to get from the point where she started to the point where she was now. And it was thanks to her niece that she was able to see it. She still thought that the Earth was dying in the same way Krypton was, and she was still convinced of her own views on the world, but she realized now that how you did mattered as much as what you did.

And that there were more important things in life than things that seemed so much bigger. Saving the world was huge, but being able to enjoy the life you were trying to save mattered just as much. Her niece made her see it, and it briefly reminded Astra of the time that the DEO was handing her over to Non, trading places with Director Henshaw. She had noticed that Alex had had reservations about the trade, but Kara had convinced her. Because she has that effect on people.

Little could she know that she would have an effect on Astra as well, all those months later, when she had showed Astra that there were more important things in life than a mission. Kara had told her that if she were to push through her plans, that she would end up killing her as well. Her only living family member.

She had discarded the whole idea at first, but it had started eating away at her. The idea that she would be responsible for her niece's death, a being that she loved with all her heart, even after all that had happened. She would never want to do that. She would never be able to live with herself. In the end, after they had taken over the world, she would never be able to relish in the victory.

So she had joined her niece's side. At first, covertly. She had had a hard time convincing everyone that she had good intentions, that she was trustworthy. Especially Alex had given her a hard time, accompanying her at all times. 'My sister might trust you to do the right thing, I'm a lot harder to convince,' she had clarified rather crudely. Astra understood it, and probably would have done the same if it were her. She would not have trusted herself either, so she was not bothered by the fact that Alex did not let her out of sight.

But it made her fight a bit harder, because she had to convince Alex of her good intent as well. That she was willing to throw aboard everything she stood for to fight for her niece. So she decided to be honest about it, too. That it was all about her niece. That she did not care for the majority of the Earth's population. That it was merely an attempt to save what little was left of her relationship with her niece.

But Alex had understood that in return. She had shortened Astra's leash, though, carefully processing each and every movement Astra had made. Eventually she had offered Astra to do a sparring session together, and Astra wondered it if were some kind of peace offering to make up for the extensive scrutiny. But she was willing to take it.

She had brought her to the chamber with the Kryptonite lamps, one that would deprive her from her superstrength, having to fight with the same strength as the humans did. Alex had taught her a few new moves, and Astra had returned the favor. She had noticed that the woman was even better when she was of equal power, and she could not help but feel vicarious pride.

She had already liked Alex when she had beaten the Hellgrammite, and that fondness had grown the more she got to know the woman. She was a tough one, Alexandra Danvers, tougher than most humans. Astra admired that about her. But most of all it was her humanity that she was in awe of. Alex was tough and could fight better than most Kryptonians, but she still dared to show vulnerability. Kara was her Kryptonite, and she had shown that on multiple occasions.

But she was not afraid to show the world how much she cared about Kara Danvers. Or about Supergirl. Or about Hank Henshaw. And that had been something that had touched a part of Astra that she was not in contact with. That she had not even known was there. It made her realize that you did not have to be made out of stone to be strong enough to conquer the world.

She did not have to leave a pile of dead bodies in her wake to accomplish what she felt the world needed. She did not have to reach out to extreme means like mind control to make the world act differently. There were other means, and even if they might be less effective, they were the right ones.

Astra wondered if Alex knew what she had stirred up in her. What she had done for her to change her mind. To change her views. Or maybe not her views, but her methods. Her modus operandi. She had never thought a person would be responsible for a one-eighty on her morals. Let alone a human one at that.

But Kara and Alex Danvers had. They had brought things in another perspective.

So when she had first came out to her former Kryptonian army as a deserter, none of them had understood. They had all been confused, especially Non.

Non who was hovering over them, Alex still in Astra's arms. Her eyes were slipping closed, and the slower her heartbeat went, the more rapid Astra's became. She thought that it would jump out of her chest, if it would not stop doing that. But she had to admit to herself that she felt a crippling fear. And anger.

And she had just found the right outlet to extinguish that anger.

Extremely carefully, she laid Alex on the cold concrete, giving her one last look before she turned around to face the man that she once had called her husband. It had been a long time since she had felt anything remotely close to love for him. Perhaps she once had, but she was not sure anymore if it were really him she loved, but rather his ideas. His powers. His strength.

None of that mattered now. He was responsible for what happened to Alex. And he had to pay for it. Astra was going to make him pay.

She shot up, catching Non by surprise, sending him flying a few yards, landing on the ground with a bang.

He looked up at her, his face devoid of any expression. It was the face he made when he was in battle. Astra had seen him done it thousands of times.

"You care for her." Non remarked flatly, his eyes following her every move. Probably to calculate her next attack, or for other reasons. To see her squirm, perhaps, under his words. "Or cared." He glanced at Alex before letting his eyes fall on Astra again.

She struck again, hard. She started punching him very fast, wherever she could, slamming him against the wall of the building the nearest of them. She retreated a few feet, and with her heat vision she started cutting bars from the fire escape that was right above Non. When it crashed down on him, it hardly seemed to hurt him.

He pushed it off of him, taking position in the air facing Astra. "You're allowing yourself to be led by anger." He commented, a hint of curiosity in his voice. Somehow he found himself fascinated by the situation, and Astra could not put a finger on the sore spot, as to why it was that he was behaving like this. Why he let her strike so easily.

"You do not retaliate." Astra countered. She squinted her eyes at him in suspicion. He would never let her win like that unless he had a plan. On better days she would have figured it out by now, but this was not one of them. She was put off her balance, and she wanted to get this over with. She did not have the patience that was required, and she realized all too quickly that it was a mistake.

He was stalling.

Because he knew what would happen if he stalled long enough. He would know what it would unleash. And Astra realized that it was his plan. That Alex flying through a window was not an accident. The two shards sticking from her chest were not an accident. It had been targeted.

But little did he know that Astra had a plan of herself. She had a secret weapon. If there were anything she had learned in the months she had worked with the DEO, that one secret ingredient of the recipe to a good plan was having a secret weapon. It was usually used as a last resort, she knew that, too, but it gave her the confidence she needed to do the inevitable.

"How could you let the humans corrupt you, Astra?" Non inquired, floating in the air, his eyes latched onto Astra's. He looked slightly menacing, but Astra had never been intimidated by the man's actions. Not when they had been married, not before and never after. She was not scared of him, knew that he was more bark than bite.

"I do not let anyone do anything without my consent." The ambiguity was implicated, but merely subtext. It was the truth. She never let anyone go their way with her if Astra did not want them to. And surprisingly enough that almost never occurred in the first place. She thought it was because she was intimidating to most people.

Another thing that Astra had appreciated about the Danvers sisters. They were not intimidated by her. She knew Kara was not, because she was raised in her presence, and she had always been very close with Kara when she was just a little girl. However, the fact that Alex was not intimidated had sparked some curiosity that bordered on fascination in Astra.

She used her superhearing to check if Alex's heart was still beating. Her pulse was weak, but at least she was not dead yet. Astra wanted to get her out of there as soon as possible, but she knew that if she tried now, she would not get away with Non taking away every hope of rescuing Alex. Kara would never forgive her if she did not do anything within her power to prevent Alex's death.

For Kara.

But she could not ignore the tightening feeling in her throat whenever she thought of Alex lying on the cold concrete. Alone. Defenseless. Her faith in Astra's hands. Ignoring that it might be too late was a bit easier. Because if it were too late.. She did not want to think about that.

She made a move again, diving head first in Non's direction, slamming him against the wall with much more force than she had before. He grunted in response. The close vicinity granted him the opportunity to hiss at her. "Usually you do not let anyone get under your skin." His hand reached for the hem of her DEO-issued shirt. He was right. On some level. But that did not mean it was a bad thing. Her life had gotten increasingly better since she had joined the other side. "Not like they have. Not like she has."

"You appear to be quite jealous." Astra bit back. For a second, she thought she saw hurt in his eyes, something that might have bothered her a long time ago, but this time she only punched him in his stomach to worsen the pain he was undoubtedly already feeling.

"You care for her." He heaved. There was something about his voice that made Astra think he was not talking about her niece, but she willed the thought away. She had him at her mercy, and she was not going to give it to him. She knew that as soon as she made a move to Alex, he would strike. That the only reason he was not fighting back was that he still believed he could turn her.

"More than you could ever comprehend." She countered, reaching for the Kryptonite-encased sword on her back. Her secret weapon. She felt like a traitor, using such a weapon on a fellow Kryptonian, and of all people her ex-husband. The man that had fought beside her in battle. So she felt uncomfortable. Much more than she would have liked. Much more than she had felt before.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, trying to jump out of it again. She could barely breathe, but it was necessary. It was him or Alex. And Non knew that. She could see it in his eyes. And the fact that he had stopped struggling, stopped trying to push her off or talk her out of it told her enough. She had never seen him like that. She had never ever thought that he would give up like that. It did not suit his character to do such a thing. It was not soldier-like. He would go down fighting if it were the last he did.

She raised the sword, getting ready to plunge it in his chest. His eyes would not leave hers, and part of her wished he would stop. That he would avert his eyes, or even better, just fly away. "You love her." He finally managed, his voice hoarse and low, his shoulders slumping in defeat. But the second after they had, he straightened his back, jutting his chin in the air. Like a soldier would. "I have always loved you, Astra." He finally said, almost visibly bracing himself for what was about to come.

Part of her wanted to deny all of what he had said, but she did not have the energy to do so. And it would be a shame to tell a lie to the person she had sentenced to death. "I am sorry." She breathed, not being able to muster up any more words. It was murder. It was cowardice. It was in no way how she would condemn anyone else, and yet she was here in this moment, about to do something vile and against what she believed in.

There was no honor.

She looked Non straight in the eye when she did it, the sword stabbing in his heart. A heart she had already broken and stamped on, and now impaled with Kryptonite. Non's hand reached for the sword, wrapping around the blade. Astra thought he was going to say something, tell her that it had not worked, but when he opened his mouth, instead of words only a gulp of blood came out.

Astra's blood ran cold as Non ran out of blood. Eventually he twisted the blade, and pulled it out of his chest. Almost immediately, he collapsed against the wall, on the ground. Blood was gushing out of the chest wound, and before Astra could even fathom what was happening, he had stopped breathing.

She landed next to him, just staring at him. For seconds.. Minutes maybe. Precious time going to waste. She could not find it in her heart to leave him yet. After all the years they had shared, and now she had so brutally murdered him. He gazed up with empty eyes, a terribly discomforting view. She had seen dozens of dead eyes staring into nothing like that, but this was different in so many ways.

She reached for his eyes and pressed them shut. "You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your journey home. We will remember you every dawn and await the night to join you in the sky. Rao's will be done." She recited the all too familiar words in Kryptonese. A prayer for the dead.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. While she had watched Non die, she had forgotten what all of this was about in the first place, until she could hear the faint heartbeat of Alex.

She glanced at her ex-husband's dead body one last time before dashing in Alex's direction. She knelt next to her body, and even though she could hear her heartbeat, she felt the urge to press her fingers against her throat, feeling the heartbeat. She was barely breathing, and she was out cold.

Astra wondered if it were too late. If everything had been for nothing. If she should have said goodbye to the woman rather than killing her murderer.

"Alex." She urged, her hand slipping to her shoulder and squeezing gently. She knew that it was a futile attempt at waking her up, but she felt like she needed to say something. Before it truly was too late. But she was at a loss for words, staring at the woman instead. Thinking of all the words she could not say. All the emotions she could not express. So instead she just uttered a 'Do not die on me' before cradling the woman, being careful in trying not to let the glass shift.

She flew back to the DEO base, as fast as she could without causing Alex more harm. Without giving her hypothermia. But when she finally arrived, she knew she was too late. She realized it the moment she landed, dropping to her knees. No heartbeat. No breathing.

And so Astra's heart skipped a few beats, and she could not breathe. She had failed. After all, she had. Her brain faltered, only vaguely realizing what that meant. She just gazed at the woman, and tears started welling up in her eyes. But she did not let any of them spill.

Her hand reached for Alex's cheek, stroking a few strands of hair out of her face. Her eyes were closed, and Astra briefly thought she was sound asleep. That she could wake up any minute now. Her stomach contracted at the thought, and she felt like screaming. From the top of her lungs. Because Alex deserved better. Deserved better than to die because of two stupid pieces of glass that were lodged in her chest.

She deserved better than to die as collateral damage in battle. Not surrounded by the people she loved most in the world, but by one of the people she had sworn to take down such a short time ago. Things had changed. They had. Astra had gone soft, and the woman in her arms was partly responsible for that.

"Rest in peace, brave one." She finally breathed, not being able to swallow away the awkward feeling in her throat. "May we meet in another life." There were so many words she wanted to say, but she did not know how to string them together. So she had chosen for ones she had heard humans say to their loved ones. Ones that she found fitting. But they were a cliché. An awful cliché.

Eventually, she opted to bring the woman inside, to the inevitable situation. She was bringing back a dead sister to her niece. She would be heartbroken. And it would be Astra's fault. She was not fast enough. She did not try hard enough.

Once again she cradled the younger woman in her arms, and set her pace towards the doors. They seemed to be infinitely far, compared to the journey she had just made, even if it were merely a few steps.

She had superstrength, and yet the body she was carrying felt all too heavy in her arms.

She did not even have to open the doors, because the woman she was on her way to already opened it. "Aunt As-" she began, obviously not having used her X-ray vision to see who was outside. To see what was happening. She stopped in her tracks, the words getting stuck in her throat. She stared at the scene that was playing out in front of her incredulously, as if it were a bad joke. Or a bad dream. A nightmare. "ALEX!"

Astra's heart was torn to shreds, the anguished scream reaching her all the way to her bones. She thought that, physically, it made no sense, but she felt it in every fiber of her being. And she could only imagine how Kara was feeling.

"Little one." Astra muttered, hearing the emotional undertone in her own voice. But it was nothing compared to the look that her niece gave her.

"We have to get her inside." Kara whispered, ushering Astra to the doors. "It's not too late yet."

But Astra knew it was. It was too late. All the time she had spent trying to put her thoughts and emotions into words, and it had all been for nothing. All of what she had done that night had been for nothing. And it had left her with the body of a woman in her arms. A woman that she had put a lot of hope in. She had given her a chance. And now she would never know how she felt about her.

All the words she never said. Never spoken aloud, never to her. It had seemed like an eternity, and she had gotten so many chances, but she waited too long, and eventually time had run out.

Or so she believed.

A/N: So it looks like I'm playing right into that dead lesbian trope here, but you'll just have to wait for the second part to find out if I really did. Also, I was up for writing something especially angsty, so here it was. I hope y'all aren't too mad at me, though. And I hope that you'll read the second part as well.