When Emma went to the kitchen, she wasn't surprised to see everyone gathered there. Or the fact that they were staring at her. After all, it is not common for one to get drunk and almost expose all the secrets that are not supposed to be exposed. Ever.

''Well, well, well, look who we have here. All fresh out of the bed after knocking themselves out.'' Diego gave her devilish smile.

''The next thing I will be knocking out will be that head of yours against the counter.'' She said grumpily and glared at him. Cristina shook her head and braced herself for the verbal confrontation that was to come.

''Not sober yet? A headache? I thought Mark stayed with you all this time and never left your side. I guess he didn't pamper you properly.''

''Is that personal experience you are talking about?''

''Okay, okay! By the Angel you two are impossible!'' Cristina got up from her chair and stood between them.

''It would have been better if I could have witnessed the mess you have made of yourself, Carstairs.'' A familiar voice said from the corner of the room. It was Kieran. Emma's eyes almost popped out of her sockets.

''What on earth is he doing here?''

''Gwyn brought him here. It would be safer for him here than the Hunt or anywhere else.''

''Great he now has Shadowhunter bodyguards. Must be nice to be a prince.''

''Not when your father is the King and you have other dozens of siblings trying to murder you.''

''Fair enough.''

Julian was on the phone the whole time and it was now that he finished his conversation and joined the others. ''Jace and Clary are coming.''

''Why?'' Emma asked. Not that she was unhappy, but if the two of them were coming on official Clave business it never meant good. Not they were bad or anything, she was glad it was them that were coming over. They had their fair share of ill experience with the Clave themselves. Still, it was surprising and on a short notice.

''Did we do something wrong?'' Dru asked, concern in her eyes.

''No,'' Julian said. Boy was that a lie. They have all done something wrong. Especially he. Falling in love with his parabatai, watching her being with his brother of all people. So close and so far away.

''It's about Kit. He is a Herondale after all. They need to talk to him I guess and there is something else happening in Faerie.''

''When is something NOT happening in Faerie.'' Emma rolled her eyes.

''Anyways before they get her-'' Before Julian could finish a portal opened in the middle of the kitchen and Jace and Clary stepped out.

''See? A few cups broken but pretty much nailed it. Told you I am way better than before.'' Clary said as she adjusted her hair.

''Thank the Angel it is not lake Lynn,'' Jace replied. Everyone looked stunned from the sudden appearance and the chaos the power wave left in the kitchen. Julian's kitchen. Emma felt a mild panic attack as she looked toward him. Like Clary said it was just a few broken cups, but nonetheless, things got broken. She swallowed hard before deciding on what to do with a potential reaction.
Mark was still banned from the kitchen after that one fail he had when he was left alone with the kids. He was allowed in only when he was under the supervision of Emma, Cristina or Julian. The kids were not trusted as well for obvious reasons.

''Wow, did not expect all of you in the kitchen. Ours is not as used as this one so I guessed it would be vacant.'' Clary explained.

''Not that is not used. It is that we avoid it because it has more similarities to an experiment lab than a kitchen.'' Jace corrected and looked around. ''I see you also have friends over.'' He nodded towards Kieran.

''Yeah friends is a broad way to describe it,'' Emma said. She smiled at Clary and they hugged. They weren't the best of friends, but their relationship was special nonetheless. After a short introduction, they got to business. Jace was alone with Kit while Clary stayed with the girls in the kitchen.

''How long will you be staying?'' Emma asked.

''Not long. We need to go to Faerie soon.'' Clary answered.

''Why?'' Livvy asked. ''I mean, there have been some rumors that it's getting quite dangerous there. Talks about Shadowhunters not being able to use their runes and weapons.''

''That is why the Clave is sending someone who has survived hell after almost getting to rule it.'' Clary joked.

''Really?'' Cristina asked.

''That and the fact that I and Jace have extra angel blood. And I make portals. No need to get warlocks involved.''
Cristina has always been intrigued by Clary. A Morgenstern by blood that killed her brother and saved the world. Someone who was as new to the Shadow world as Kit. Even less. Kit is aware of both worlds. Clary never was. She wondered how someone could do that in a few months and be fine with it. Maybe she wasn't. Nobody really ever was. You just had to move on. To younger generations, Jace and Clary were heroes and someone to look up to. To the Clave, they were a valuable asset. Clary was practically a co-author of the Grey Book. Her runes were helpful and innovative and they would be added to the Grey Book. Something given by the Angel to the Nephilim, something that could still be changed and improved.

''How are things over here?'' She asked and looked around. ''Anything new or?''

''Nope!'' Emma said in a high pitched voice. Clary gave her a slit-eyed look in a mocking way.

''If you say so.'' She also responded in pitched voice. Both of them laughed.

-

Emma hadn't realized that when Clary said they need to leave soon it was actually that soon. As in a few hours. Before they left Clary went to Julian's study to say her goodbye. She didn't get to talk much to him and it felt it would have been rude to leave without a notice. Especially after breaking a few cups.
She also felt particularly sorry for the Blackthorn family. It was her brother that had brought all this sorrow and pain upon them. It was her own blood that caused all this trouble and forced them to fend for themselves and do things that no child should ever be forced to do. Kill your own father. Even though Clary had aided the Angel into murdering her own father, she didn't love him. He didn't love her either. Valentine only loved Jace and Jocelyn. Even though his love had been toxic and abusive. To him, Clary was the reason why Jocelyn left him, and to Clary, he was the one who had forced Jocelyn to leave him. She didn't mind him dying. This is what scared her. She didn't care. She was relieved that it had finally happened.

It was different with the Blackthorns. They were family. They were wholesome, loving, caring family. And they were destroyed in the blink of an eye. By her brother. By her family. By the family, she had always wished for but never gotten. And then she killed her brother with her own bare hands in cold blood. The only fear she felt was when she thought that the Heavenly fire hadn't worked. She wasn't famous for killing demons, but for killing half of her blood-related family. She was cruel in the eyes of some, but a hero and a brave Nephilim in the eyes of the majority.

She knocked on the half-opened door. ''May I?'' She smiled at Julian who was sitting in front of his canvas, drawing. He smiled.

''Sure.'' He told her. Clary looked around, spinning in a circle.

''Impressive.'' She told him. '' Though my drawing room is bigger.'' She joked friendly.

''You have one too?''

''Yes. Sometimes my mom joins me.'' Julian nodded. She could feel that it was an awkward situation. And he could tell that she was feeling sorry and trying to say something.

''You don't have to try to help us that much, you know,'' Julian told her.

''You also don't have to carry the world upon your shoulders, Julian.'' She told him, a serious tone in her voice. She was so tiny, yet Julian could feel how fierce and strong she was. After all, she fought in two wars. ''And I honestly don't remember helping you.'' Julian was about to speak when he realized she meant him. Julian. Not the rest. Just him. He got suspicious and confused.

''You and I have done things we never thought we would ever do. All of us have. But to me, it seems like only you and I have been called out as ruthless.'' Julian looked at her curiously. This was getting interesting, but at the same time, he felt Clary knew much more than she gave away. ''Sometimes it is the most ruthless people that call you ruthless. Not because you are, but because they want you to be like them. So that they can know that they are not alone. That there is someone as messed up and broken as them. It is more a message to themselves than to you. A way to comfort their fears.'' She remembered her brother and his words. About her ruthless heart. About her being like him. A Morgenstern. He was not alone. She still wasn't sure if he had been right after all. She did manipulate him into thinking that she had given up and that she would stay by his side and then watched him as he died in her mother's hands. Feeling nothing. Maybe she was cruel. Maybe she lived up to her Morgenstern name. She didn't like it though, she didn't want it. She feared it. Maybe this had been the only difference.

''You don't have to feel sorry for all the loss. It is not your fault.'' Julian told her.

''But it could have been prevented sooner if I hadn't made the selfish decisions I made to protect my family and Jace. I had opportunities to kill my brother, but didn't do so because Jace would have died as well.''

''So that is why you stabbed Jace with a sword. It doesn't add up.'' Clary smiled.

''I just knew. I hoped it would work. And it did. But there were consequences nonetheless.'' Julian looked at her as Clary try to find his eyes. ''If I could go back in time I would have done the same. Let him go, keep Jace safe. Lie to everyone just so that I get Jace back. I would be an egoist, even though there was no other way, even though I had no choice.''

''What are you trying to say.''

''To trust me.'' Julian was not sure how to react to that. ''Don't trust the Clave. You can trust me.''

''Why?''

''Do you really believe every rune I create goes into the Gray Book?'' She laughed. ''There was a time when the Clave was more than ready to give me away. Me and Jace both. To Sebastian. There was a time when I was Valentine's daughter, a Morgenstern, bound to burn the world down with them. But now I am an asset. Now they need me. They have my trust, but I still don't have theirs.''

''I just don't know why you would assume that I would trust the Clave after what happened to my family and Emma.'' Clary smiled.

''Don't trust them, but respect them. Or at least the traditions of the Shadowhunters. You have a choice, Julian. You can prevent or cause damage. It is up to you. Just remember that there will be consequences based on your actions and the outcome might not turn out in your favor after all.''

Julian got really suspicious of her words and felt like they perfectly described his current problems and thoughts. His deepest, darkest thoughts. ''Just don't do anything that would hurt a lot of people. Something that will be unforgivable. Something that will hurt the people you love most. Anger and hatred is not the way. Look at Sebastian and Valentine. There is always another way.''

''I really wish you were right.''

''That is why I would like to help. I owe you.''

He wanted to tell her she didn't. She didn't cause it. She didn't have to be the one to pay for what her family had done to his. Instead, he just smiled, knowing he had gotten himself an ally. A powerful and reliable one.

''Thank you, Clary.''