Forgotten Pain

by: schu-chan

disclaimer: WeiB isn't mine... if they were, i wouldn't be broke now, would i?

Dedicated to SAILOR FORTUNE-SAN for the title!

NOTE: i refer to Aya-kun by his real name in this fic (as i always do), so if you don't know it and don't want to know, don't read it...

NOTE2: i don't know much about ken's past, only about the whole j-league thing... do we even ever really find out? i dunno, but if he DOES have a past that i should know about, someone tell me... i just wanna kno - im not going to change this fic or anything... ^__^

//flashback//

~Chapter 1~

"N-nani? You... you what?"

Ran summoned up the courage once more and he said softly, "I love you, Ken."

Ken stared at him with wide eyes. "I... I understand if you don't love me, I'll just-"

"Iie! I..." Ran watched as a torrent of emotions ran across Ken's face: fear, love, sadness, happiness.

Ken finally smiled at him and threw his arms around him. "I love you too, Ran."

Ran smiled happily and gave Ken a gentle kiss on the lips. Ken blushed happily and Ran deepened the kiss. He slowly reached under Ken's shirt, and Ken's eyes widened.

He shoved Ran away, yelling, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Ken stood there, breathing heavily, staring at Ran with fearful eyes as a torrent of memories washed over him. "Iie... Yamete..."

Ran watched in surprise as Ken grabbed at his brown hair and fell to his knees, mumbling incoherent words. "K-ken?"

//Ken rode home happily with his father. He loved it when his father picked him up from school because when other students were getting picked up, he knew that they stared at his father a lot. He knew that his father was gorgeous, and he was proud of it. Some of the fathers of the other kids were good-looking, but not drop-dead gorgeous like his dad. Not only was his father good-looking, but he was kind and he had a decent job.

Ken glanced over at his father, who was currently staring at the road intently. "Ne, 'Tou-san?"

"Hm?"

"Why'd you pick me up today? You usually don't pick me up except on Fridays coz that's the only day you get to end work early!"

His father grinned at him, saying, "I have a special day planned for you, my KenKen!"

Ken knew that his grin was huge. But he couldn't help it - in all of his 12 years, his father had never done anything like this before for him because he was always busy. They pulled up in front of their house - Ken was curious. What kind of special day could his father have planned for him at home???

"Go wash and change, Ken."

"Hai! What should I wear, 'Tou-san! Are we going out to eat?"

His father shook his head, smiling. "Iie. Just wear something comfortable, Ken."

Ken nodded, bounding up the stairs, taking them two at a time. There couldn't possibly be something THAT interesting to do at home... He shrugged, just glad that his father had planned something for him.

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken came down to the living room, and heard his father calling from the kitchen. "Ken, go into the dining room!"

Ken walked to the dining room, and grinned. His father had attempted to cook. Ouch.

He reached out to take a taste of the pasta and let out a yelp when his father hit his hand away. Ken grinned sheepishly at his dad and sat down in his seat.

Ken stared dumbly at the glass of wine his father handed him. "Eh?"

His father laughed. "What... you forgot that it's your birthday?"

"Eeeh?"

Ken turned and looked at the calendar that hung on the wall. "I totally forgot, 'Tou-san!"

His father grinned. "Well, I remembered, and for your birthday, you get your first taste of wine."

Ken took a sip and made a face. "It tastes bad, 'Tou-san!"

"You have to develop a taste for it, Ken. Drink it a little bit." Ken pouted and drank some more. He had always hoped that wine would taste good from the way his father and all of his business associates were constantly talking about it.

They ate the pasta, talking about Ken's school life. "Yea, and this huge kid, Munakata-kun, kicked the ball at me and I dropped to the ground! When I looked up, it'd made a hole in the net... I lost ten years of my life right there!"

Ken's father laughed, saying, "You could have at least tried, you know?"

"Riiight, and come back home with broken ribs, right?"

His father laughed again.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Arigatou, 'Tou-san." Ken gave his father a tight hug, tossing the soccer ball onto the couch. His father hugged him back, and suddenly flipped him onto the couch, shoving the soccer ball to the ground.

"'T-tou-san?"

"Sh... don't be afraid..."

Ken stared up at his father with fear in his eyes. What... what was his father going to do...? His eyes widened in shock when his father kissed his lips.//

Ken let out a heartbroken sob. "Iie... I didn't want that... Dooshite...?"

"Ken?" Ran was surprised to see Ken in such a state. Ken looked up in surprise, as though he had just noticed Ran standing there.

"R-ran...?"

"Ken, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Iie... It's nothing... There's... there's nothing wrong..." Ken stumbled towards his bed, saying, "I'll... I'll see you tomorrow..."

Ran stared at Ken, who climbed into the bed and lay there, trembling. He turned and walked out, not noticing Yohji and Omi, who had fallen over each other in an attempt to get away from the door.

~*~*~*~*~*

Ken came down the stairs and ignored the stares he received from Yohji, Omi and Ran. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair messy and his clothes were on crookedly.

"K-ken-kun?" Ken turned around and attempted to smile at him. "Hai?"

"Is... is something wrong?"

Ken's eyes grew blank.

//"Iie! Yamete, 'Tou-san!"

Ken screamed for his father to stop, trying to undo the binds that tied him to the bed. Tears ran down his cheeks and he tried to pull his hands from the rope that was rubbing his wrists raw.//

Ken shook his head, saying, "I'm fine, Omi."

*Three years... It took me three years to forget! Why did I have to remember now?!* He sighed and dumped himself into a chair.

"Ken...?" Ken looked up at Ran, saying, "Aah... Ran. Gomen-ne... I... I kind of lost myself yesterday night... Honto-ni, gomen."

Ran shook his head, saying, "Iie. Daijoubu. Ken... you know that if you have any problems, you can come talk to us, ne?"

Ken nodded. "Arigatou."

Ran sighed as Ken got up and left.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Ken-kun? Neee, Ken-kuuun! I asked you if this red rose reminded you of me!" Ken looked up in surprise. When had this girl gotten here?

"Hai, ojou-san." The girl huffed and bought the bouquet of roses and left. "Eh?"

Ken stood there, staring at the door. "Did I say something wrong?"

Omi shook his head and exchanged looks with Yohji. Ken was the only person who bothered to pay some attention to the girls in the store so that they wouldn't be offended by Ran's glares and Omi's and Yohji's harsh looks.

"Ne, Ken-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Can you put these candles in the window casing?"

Ken stared at the candles Omi held out to him.

//"I-ite!" Ken tossed his head back and forth, pained cries escaping his throat as his father slowly poured hot wax on his body.//

Ken closed his eyes and leaned against the counter, holding himself up with one hand. "Ken-kun?"

Ken hit Omi's hand away, which had been reaching out to touch him. Omi stared into Ken's frightened brown eyes. "Ken-kun?"

"I-ie... Don't touch me..."

"Ken-kun, it's okay. It's just me, Omi..." Omi reached out again to touch him. "Iie! Don't hurt me!"

Ken ran to the the other side of the counter and sat down, whimpering. "Don't touch me..."

TBC...

what'd you think? ok? too weird? too sick? wow... i wrote a little bit of angst... i can't believe it...

and i wrote a WeiB fic that's not BradxKen... that in itself is amazing...

REVIEW ONEGAI! ^.~