Obi-Wan had been expecting any number of things once he died, chief among them a sense of peace and dignity, the feeling that all of his suffering was finally over. Maybe he would be reunited with his old Master once more. He knew from Qui-Gon's teachings that he wouldn't become one with the Force immediately, but it would be a while before he could fully manifest himself to the living. So Obi-Wan largely resigned to an afterlife of quiet meditation when Vader finally killed him.

He had not been expecting Padmé to greet him upon his death, her face scrunched up in anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" she shouted.

"It's nice to see you too, Padmé," Obi-Wan greeted pleasantly.

"You told Luke that Anakin killed himself! Why? Why would you do that?"

"From a certain point of view, Anakin did kill himself," he said.

Padmé crossed her arms over her chest. "That's bullshit and you know it."

Obi-Wan froze. How could he explain that Luke needed to kill Vader to her without her trying to kill him again?

Fortunately for Obi-Wan, an interruption appeared, in the form of a drunk Jedi Master.

"Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon cried happily. "Welcome! Padmé, come quick, it's the Death Star."

Padmé's scowl deepened. "Oh great. What's Anakin done this time?"

"Here," Qui-Gon passed her a bottle filled with what Obi-Wan was fairly sure was Nubian wine. "I think he's flying around it and shooting down Rebel pilots."

Padmé uttered a viciously foul curse and took a hearty swig from her bottle.

"I think Luke might be one of those pilots," Obi-Wan said, feeling like he wanted to cry.

Qui-Gon wordlessly passed him another bottle that he must have pulled from thin air. Obi-Wan took a sip and then coughed forcefully, his throat burning and eyes watering.

"How do you have Wookiee Spit?" he asked incredulously.

Qui-Gon shrugged. "We're dead. Who says I can't have it? Capitalism doesn't exist. Now come, we need to cheer on Luke."

The area around them blurred, and suddenly they were watching groups of pilots try to blow up the Death Star while Vader shot them down.

"What the fuck, Anakin! What the fuck!" Padmé yelled, flinging her bottle at Vader. It passed right through him, but it looked very satisfying. Obi-Wan, already feeling more than a little tipsy from the Wookiee Spit, decided to do the same. His bottle didn't fly through Vader's face, unfortunately.

"What a waste of good alcohol," Qui-Gon sobbed mournfully, his happy buzz gone. "Those poor kids." He sank down into a worn-out couch that hadn't been there the moment before, and was soon followed by both Obi-Wan and Padmé.

They watched the attack on the Death Star on the edge of their seats - literally for Padmé, who continued to shout at Vader - hoping that one of the Rebels would finally make the lucky shot.

Then it was Luke's turn.

By then, Padmé's shouted profanities had become slurred nonsense and Qui-Gon was outright sobbing. Obi-Wan fuzzily remembered his Master being a happy, handsy drunk, so this was very out of character for him. Obi-Wan himself was teetering on the edge of despair. Was he about to watch Vader destroy one of the galaxy's last remaining hopes?

Why was Luke using his targeting computer to aim? Didn't he know he could just use the Force?

Obi-Wan spat a string of Mando'a profanities when he realized he had not, in fact, informed Luke that the Force had a use for much more than swinging around a lightsaber.

"Use the Force, Luke!" he shouted desperately, before taking another swig of Wookiee Spit. He would have said more specific instructions, but his tongue felt really fuzzy all of a sudden.

Amazingly, Luke somehow managed to hear him. He disengaged his targeting computer, reached into the Force, and blew the Death Star into an unfathomable number of tiny pieces.

Food, drink, and a wild celebration followed, once people managed to calm down enough to actually put it all together. Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Qui-Gon consumed so much alcohol during the celebration afterwards that they blacked out.

A/N: There will be three more chapters, one covering ESB, one for ROTJ, and one epilogue ft. Anakin.