I promised myself a long time ago that I would never ever ever do a sailor
moon or sailor moon crossover. This has been banging around in my head for
quite some time now and I've got to get it out before I can continue with
my other works.
I'd just like to say in advance
I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon, or Ranma, or Gold Diggers. Suing me is futile as I am poor.
Fast Tracks
Chapter uno: It all goes to hell
It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If this is true then the 4077 turnpike to the lower pits was mostly funded by a Genma Saotome. It was his good intention to engage his son so that the problem of getting a mate would be avoided, not like the boy would have any problems but... of course if the chosen girl wasn't acceptable then of course maybe one of the other engagements would be more to his liking. Nothing too good for his boy. Most men would be thrilled to have so many beautiful girls hanging on him. He mostly forgot the fact that he only used most of the engagements to fill his fat stomach while ignoring the boy.
Currently the Hell construction crew was working on the isengard cloverleaf with his good intentions.
The scene is the Tendo dojo early morning. Ranma has just learned the Moko Takabisha and is quite exhausted from his long workout. Unknown to him a shadow has been following him for the past few days watching his every movement, going through his personal effects, and of course breaking into Nabiki's personal files.
Today is the day the shadow finally gets to finish its mission. Without a sound the shadow takes to the rooftops and proceeds to Juuban prefecture at top speed. Its mistress would be overjoyed to hear what it had to report. Well maybe not.
Back at the dojo Kasumi was just putting the final touches on breakfast before serving it. As she hummed a little tune to herself she wondered if she was forgetting something... something important about today. For the life of her she couldn't remember why today was so important. Oh well she was sure that she'd remember later on, for now she had to call everyone for breakfast.
"Breakfast is ready everyone!" She called out knowing almost immediately that if she went out now she'd be trampled by the stampede. Waiting till the count of 20 before she started walking ensured her survival for another day. Tossing the food onto the table ensured that she kept all of her appendages. The fierceness of the combatants today was exceptionally savage. She could understand poor Ranma-kun as he'd been up all night training to do that blast thingy of his and had probably used up a lot of energy. Of course she could think of much better ways for him to use up that energy. Just because she was a repressed housewife well without the wife part, didn't mean that she couldn't fantasize now and then.
As Kasumi's thoughts drifted into the NC-17 spectrum other members of the family were watching the spectacle with an appreciative eye. Well not so much appreciative but mercenary. Nabiki was thinking about how much this was going to cost the family and exactly how they were going to make it up. She really didn't mind feeding Ranma for willingly or not he helped put food on the table in the first place. It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes. No it was his good for nothing father who did absolutely fuck all to help pay. Oh her daddy said that he was a guest and as such didn't need to pay, but of course this from a man that didn't work either and didn't provide for himself. Oh yes both of them would have to go then she could have Ranma 'work' of his debt to her.
While Nabiki's thoughts descended into illegal in most states and provinces territory the youngest Tendo who actually had reason to think naughty thoughts about her fiancée, wasn't. The reason for this is quite obvious. While everybody was always thinking that when she protested and said that she didn't like him and would never marry the egotistical jerk, that she was actually telling the truth. She hated him, plain and simple. There was only one reason why she kept the engagement going. To get a full understanding we have to go into a little bit of history.
Before Ranma arrived she was the best martial artist in Nerima and everyone knew it. After he came however and his various suitors eventually joined him, she went from being the best to the bottom of the barrel. She was loathe to admit it but if Kuno with his new training against Ranma ever went full out against her she would lose. This simple fact galled her to no end. The one competition that she knew she could win was the fiancée race. Her father and Mr. Saotome wouldn't let anything disrupt it. Of course she knew that both her sisters were interested in Ranma now but if she just gave him over that would be like quitting. And stubborn as a mule and twice as thick Akane would not quit.
Back to the present Akane was getting angry. Nothing-new there. The fact that her anger was directed solely at Ranma was again not new. Her smashing him with her mallet towards the koi pond was getting so old now that the koi have taken to judging his entry.
9.5 8.5 9.0 9.0 5.5
The last koi deducted points because Ranma ended up landing on him.
It was a wet and female baby red dragon that emerged from the pond using it's fire breath to burn the entire Tendo family and one stupid panda to crispy bits before it flew off to pillage some village somewhere.
Umm oops wrong story.
Actually a sopping wet redhead crawled out of the pond looking like something the cat dragged in. She paused to take off her shirt to wring it out and glare at the koi that gave her a 5.5 as she felt that the half twist before splashdown would at least make it a 7. As she was putting her shirt back on she looked up when she noticed that someone was coming through the front gates. The woman was in her late thirties with dark copper hair and blue eyes. Instantly Ranma felt that she should know this woman but recognition evaded her. (think Ryoga) Unfortunately she wasn't the only one to notice her. As she rounded the house the rest of the family was able to see her as well. Three people recognized her almost immediately. Kasumi was first.
"Oh my Auntie Saotome I forgot that you were coming over today, I would have set up another place for you." Of course she now remembered what was so important about today.
"Nadoka how wonderful of you to stop by, isn't that right Saotome?" Soun was of course next to speak looking over at his pandafied friend.
I'm just a cute panda, I'm certainly nobody's husband
Of course it would have worked immeasurably better if he'd been a panda. Nabiki of course was trying to figure out how to sue him for false advertising claiming that his panda form was cute was a blatant lie.
"Mom?" Ranma spoke up finally.
"It's nice to see you too dear, I had hoped that Walter's description was just his way of making the story more interesting, but the proof is staring me right in the eye." Nodoka sighed heavily. She had hoped that Walter was just adding things to make Ranma's life seem more interesting but if he was telling the truth about the girl thing she was afraid of what else he might have been telling the truth about.
"Mom!" Ranma shouted out at she launched herself at her mother.
Just as he was about to make contact with her Nodoka dodged to the right and let Ranma sail past.
"Now Ranma you're soaking wet, why don't you get cleaned up first then we'll talk ok dear."
"Ok mom." Ranma replied running full tilt towards the furo.
Nodoka smiled sweetly. If her son could have withstood half of what Walter described then he would find what was to come a piece of cake. Now to gather the players in this little game together. Now if Walter was telling the truth then all she would have to do is...
"Nabiki dear would you please call everyone that is involved with my son. I have something's to discuss."
Wondering just how much she could charge for this Nabiki headed off to the phone.
Sometime later
Everyone was gathered in the dojo. The Tendo's were on one side, the Amazon's and Ukyo were in the middle, and finally the Kuno's were on the other side. At the front of this little gathering sat Ranma, Nodoka and Genma.
After some minor skirmishes (Minor as in nobody had to be carted off yet) Nodoka stood up and began to speak.
"First of all I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. Now most of you are familiar with Ranma and my good for nothing husband. My name is Nodoka Saotome and I am Ranma's mother. There is a reason I've called you together like this. It has recently come to my attention that Genma here has been making promises to engage Ranma to various different girls." She paused to look around the room. "Now there is a problem with this, you see when I originally met Genma he was a homeless ronin. I was drunk at the time and he was there so we found an all night chapel and got married." There were some gasps at this. "When I sobered up the next day and found him in my bed sleeping next to me I blew my stack. That was nothing compared to what happened when I found out I was married to him. I tried to get a divorce but he would have none of it. To make a long story short nine months later Ranma was born. Now while I despised my husband I loved my son." She let out a heavy sigh. "Four years after Ranma was born I came home to find that Walter had been knocked out cold by someone and both my husband and son were missing. As I searched the house I came upon this document."
Reaching into her kimono she brought out a document. Actually it looked like some chicken scratches combined with a child's finger painting.
"I found this. Basically it says that Genma would take Ranma on a training trip and that if he failed to make Ranma a man among men that they would both commit seppuku." Ranma of course winced at this. "Of course a four year old child could not understand what this means so I will not be holding Ranma to the contract." Everybody noticed Genma trying to sneak out of the dojo. He held up a sign.
I am invisible you can not see me.
"As I was saying I will not be holding Ranma to the contract because even with the curse I think it was, the fact that he has not just killed the whole lot of you already speaks for his character." She turned to face Ranma. "Ranma I Nodoka Saotome head of the Saotome clan Judge you a man among men." Several people gasped when she mentioned that she was the head of the clan.
"Whoa hold on here YOU'RE the clan head?!!" Ukyo shouted.
"That is correct um Ukyo was it?" Nodoka stated calm as ice.
"But that means..." Ukyo stopped as she herself realized what exactly it meant.
"That is correct Ukyo-san. All of the engagements Genma made are invalid." This of course caused an uproar.
"But the schools must be joined!" - Panda man
"Waaaaaaaaaa" - Waterworks
"Finally the evil Saotome's hold over the fierce Akane Tendo and the pigtailed goddess is over. Come let us embrace our love." - Poster boy for mental illness
"Embrace this." Trinity I mean Akane
"You're current bill is 127,000 yen, thank you for staying at park place." - Scrooge mc Tendo
"Oh Fuck, I mean My." - Kasumi sex kitten Tendo
"Noo Ranma sama you'll choose me won't you." - Cracks glass at 50 paces with her laugh
"..." - Shampoo "Snoopy happy dance"
"Shampoo it is undignified of an Amazon to dance like that. No do not spike your bonbori." - Yoda
"I want a new panda rug." - Slightly deranged ambisexual best friend
When everyone had calmed down slightly Nodoka continued.
"Cologne I am well aware of your great granddaughter's claim, and I am also aware of your laws. There is a complication however."
"And what would this complication be exactly? By our laws Shampoo is married to son in law. This wouldn't happen to be another fiancée would it?" Cologne may be old but she is by no means stupid.
Nodoka heaved a great sigh.
"Yes that's it exactly. "
"Mom?" Ranma said hesitantly.
"I'll explain. You see before I met Genma I was good friends with a Sauri and Tocho Kino. We agreed that if we had children of the opposite gender that they would be engaged to be married. I do not know what to do this is a huge mess. "
"The answer is simple of course Ranma marries Shampoo and comes back to China." Cologne stated.
Nodoka sighed again. She hasn't sighed this much in at least ten years. She reaches into her kimono again and pulls out a medallion. Upon seeing it Cologne muttered an ancient curse. Something to do with the inbred offspring of two Jusenkyo cursed males. Seeing that the elder recognized the symbol and knew what it meant she put it back into her kimono.
"Alright what do you suggest we do then?" Cologne signed. She really hated the situation. It was giving her such a headache. Oh well if the connections she was making were accurate then at least her stay would be interesting none the less.
"Well what I suggest is that you and your great granddaughter come and stay at my house. We can try to figure something out from there." Ever since Walter had given his report she had been trying to figure some honorable way out of the Amazon engagement. She couldn't use the pact between her clan and the Amazons because quite honestly there was no clause in the agreement pertaining to the laws. The best she could hope for was for Ranma to marry Makoto and take Shampoo as a second wife or mistress.
"Elder Cologne I believe that we should adjourned for the day I will have Walter stop by later to help you move your things." She looked up. "Walter I take it that you've got Ranma's things?"
Apparently from thin; air a large man in a ninja garb materialized holding a large backpack. Several people including Cologne jumped because they couldn't detect his presence until he poofed into existence.
"Yes mistress. I have all of master Ranma's possessions and am ready to depart."
"Very good Walter. Come on Ranma our business is finished here let's go home." She got up and started walking towards the door. Ranma automatically got up and started to follow. This of course touched off another frantic commotion.
"Nodoka as you're husband I demand that you reconsider. The agreement between Soun and myself is honorable. The two schools of Anything goes must be joined!" Genma roared. He wouldn't let his retirement freeloading off his son go out the window. Damnit he'd worked hard to get the boy ready.
"Hey what about my dowry! That fat bastard stole it and ten years of y life!" Ukyo was mad. Ten bloody years living as a boy and now all gone with jack and shit to show for it. Oh yes she was damned sure she was going to get compensation.
"I am terribly sorry Ukyo-san," Nodoka said while bowing low "I understand that your honour has been tarnished by my fat fool of a husband. I can not make up for the ten years of your life however the Saotome clan will try to make reparations. If you would like I have some great recipes for panda and know a great tanner where you can get a fine rug made."
Genma of course was turning a nice shade of white. He wasn't sure if his wife was kidding or not. Thinking back on everything he's done to her and their son he decided that a nice long trip to Siberia would be a good idea right about now. Hell even ikaluit NWT would be preferable to here. He quietly engaged his stealth mode part of the umi sen ken, and snuck out of the dojo. If he was lucky he would be able to get his backpack and be well on his way before the chef or that damnable pet ninja of Nodoka's could catch him.
As he was sneaking out of the dojo the door slammed shut catching him on the ass. Inside the dojo Walter just smiled as he put the second backpack beside the first.
"Enough! " Shouted Nodoka. "Ranma come on we've got to get home now."
"No you can't take him! He's my retirement! He MUST marry one of my girls!" Soun was desperate now if Ranma was allowed to leave the dojo he'd have to go back to work, the horror of it. He knew that he was no match for Nodoka but there was one that could go toe to toe with the Saotome matriarch.
"Nabiki you've got to stop them."
"Mrs. Saotome I'm afraid that during his stay here Ranma has racked up quite a personal debt to myself for services rendered. I'm afraid that I can not allow him to leave with such a large debt." Nabiki was confident that this would get them to change their minds. Ranma's debt was quite substantial and there was no way that she was just going to pull out her purse and hand her a huge freaking wad of yen.
As soon as the said huge freaking wad of yen was in her hands she knew that something was extremely wrong with the universe. Ranma was POOR, extremely POOR and his mother had just HANDED her over 200,000 yen like it was nothing at all! Maybe she was a little hasty when she forked him over to her little dyke sister.
"Nabiki dear were any of these services rendered taking him to bed with you and making wild monkey love?" Nodoka asked hopefully. Maybe Ranma would be interested in having another concubine. One could only hope. Visions of grandchildren danced in her head.
"MOM!" Hear the cry of the terminally embarrassed offspring.
"Ahh no... as far as I know I'm still a virgin." Truth be told if she got the chance she would have done him for free.
"Well a mother can hope can't she. I'm not getting any younger and I'd really like some grandchildren." Inside Nodoka was snapping her fingers.
"Very well then. I believe that concludes our business here. Come along Ranma, let's go home." She said as she turned to leave Ranma following on her heels. When they reached the threshold of the dojo Ranma stopped and turned around.
"I thank you for the hospitality that you have shown me. Good Bye." He bowed low then turned around and walked after his mother.
Everyone in the dojo knew that they probably would never see him again... unless, of course, if they decided to visit him at his house.
As they passed the gates of the dojo Ranma turned to his mother.
"Hey mom wait up I've got to get my pack."
"Don't worry about it. Walter has already collected your things and is on his way to our house. When he has finished he will return here to collect the Amazons."
"Mom, do I really have to marry Shampoo. All she's done is try to drug me and trick me into marrying her. I can't trust her!" It was just now sinking in that he had to marry Shampoo. Sure she was cute and cuddly but the number of times she tried to get him on a date by the use of drugs was just too much for him.
"Son did you ever try to think of things from her perspective? You're her husband and you keep running away from her. I know a little about Amazon law and I know that if she fails to get you for her husband she would be punished severely. While I don't agree with her methods I do understand where she is coming from. Maybe if you actually took the time to get to know her you might come to like her. If worse comes to worse all you really have to do is get her pregnant a couple of times and that's all the contact that you need to have with her. On the other hand I do expect you to be nice to Makoto. She has been like a daughter to me and I wish to see her happy so you will at least try to act civilized around her do you understand?" She paused to let this sink in. She really did like Makoto and the thought of her and Ranma together happily married was a dream of hers for quite some time now.
"Also if you could try to be nice to Shampoo as well I would appreciate it. You never know she may surprise you."
"Mom, I promise I'll try, I don't guarantee that anything will happen but I'll at least give it a shot." His mom really wanted this . He couldn't disappoint her. Not again. Never again. Of course one thing was nagging at him.
"Mom when you said that Shampoo would be punished if she didn't get me as a husband, what kind of punishment would that be?" Just because he didn't want to marry her didn't mean he wanted her to suffer. " Nodoka looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.
"Well for the first failure a Jusenkyo curse is pretty much standard punishment."
"Uhh mom she's already got a Jusenkyo curse."
She looked shocked for a second. "I didn't know that. There appears to be a lot of information that Walter missed in his report. You'll have to tell me more later. So Shampoo's already got a Jusenkyo curse do you know why?"
"Uhh yeah you see originally she was trying to kill me, I kinda defeated her in girl form in front of the whole village."
Nodoka twitched. "And why did you have to fight her in the first place?"
Ranma looked down at the ground sheepishly. "Uhh well you see me n pop had just come from Jusenkyo and we were really hungry..." He trailed off.
The twitch was joined by a friend. "And you just decided that the big table of food that was labeled FIRST PRIZE was some kind of banquet." She sighed heavily. There were going to be some changes that needed to be made. "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma you're really in deep. To answer your question if an Amazon fails a second time... well spaying is pretty common for second failures."
Ranma froze in midstep. Did he just hear that right. "You're kidding right, they wouldn't really do that would they?"
"Oh yes they would. Now as for third failures..."
"What about third failures?"
She hesitated for a couple of seconds before replying. "There are no third failures son."
After about two minutes of silence she decided to continue.
"Now do you understand why she was so desperate to get your attention? She didn't have much choice."
The rest of the trip to the train station was in silence. Both of them had a lot to think about.
As they were departing the train station they were shocked to hear screams coming from the other end of the platform. As the crowd cleared out they saw a vaguely female monster facing off against five cheerleaders. The one with the two long ponytails was making some stupid speech about love, justice and daily commuters. The whole thing was like some stupid sentai show. That was until they started throwing around some real magic. Ranma was about to jump in and help when his mother put her hand on his shoulder.
"No son this is their fight, we'll just stand by and watch. If it looks like one of them is in trouble then you can jump in."
Five minutes earlier.
Slodion was a very happy minion. Her master had congratulated her several times because of her good work. The reason she was so good at her job was that she understood that the best way to get the job done and get home alive was to be subtle. If your enemies didn't know you were doing something wrong then they couldn't catch you. She had already gathered quite a bit of energy from homeless people and some local yakuza. These were people that wouldn't be missed if they all of a sudden turned up dead.
Today however when she was draining some homeless guy at the train station she suddenly found herself surrounded by the Sailor Scouts. This was serious as she was now outnumbered five to one. She had to get out of there. Her own survival was paramount to completing the mission. As she tried to run she was surrounded. Hopefully what she'd heard about the scouts was true and that they were entirely dependant on their magic. If this was true then she had a chance to get out of this in one piece after all.
It was just another day in the lives of five normal superhero girls. They were on their way to get some ice cream after a heavy study session at the temple when screaming caught their attention. Having gone through this routine several times before in the past they basically reacted on autopilot. first they ducked into an alleyway checking to make sure that they weren't spotted. Five bright and flashy transformation sequences later they were ready to go hunt evil and protect the future once again.
When they arrived at the train station it was fairly easy to see where the problem was just run towards where the crowd was running away from. When they arrived they saw the standard vaguely humanoid female energy draining monster draining some hapless homeless guy.
"You know just for once I'd like to see a vaguely humanoid male monster. You know just for some variety." Commented Mars.
"Well you know what we've got to do then." Said Moon getting in front readying her speech. "You there I won't let you harm that homeless man, his life is no less precious than any other human..."
"My life's worthless. If I can be of some use to this monster here I'd rather die doing something useful. So if you girls would just bugger off for a bit." Turning back to the monster he said. "Ok now monster san where were we?"
Needless to say the Scouts were speechless. This guy actually wanted to die by the monster's hands just so he could be useful.
"To hell with it let's just get her!" Mars shouted while charging.
"Why not it's what we do anyway." Said Mercury joining the charge.
Within a couple of seconds the youma, as they decided to call it until they could find a better name, was surrounded by a bevy of girls in short skirts.
When the magic started flying the girls immediately knew that something was wrong. Mercury quickly ducked out to analyzed the situation. Their magic was having no effect on the youma. Within a couple of seconds she had her answer. They youma was specially designed to fight against them. It was weaker than the Daimons but it had stupid amounts of magic resistance. They couldn't hurt it unless they went toe to toe with it and unfortunately the only one in their group who had any formal martial training was Makoto. Seeing Venus get tossed into a drink machine and moon following shortly after Mercury decided that they needed to do this now.
"Our magic is useless it's got too much resistance, we've got to fight it hand to hand."
"Hand to hand? Are you crazy we'll get creamed!" Mars shouted. Sure she had a green belt in karate but that was nothing compared to what the youma were capable of.
"So basically we beat it till it dies." Jupiter said while cracking her knuckles. "I think I can deal with that."
The youma hearing all of this decided that it was time to run. She was magic resistant however her doctor had recently told her to avoid too much iron in her diet. Something like the steel pipe that Jupiter had ripped from the wall and was swinging around menacingly. She turned and ran not even stopping just shoving Mars out of her way as she ran past with an overzealous Jupiter on her heels.
"Come back here you baka monster."
A coffee covered Moon who'd just crawled out of the coffee machine said aloud. "Jupiter scares me."
Several girls nodded in agreement.
"Do you think we should follow her? She might need our help." Mercury of course cursed herself for being the voice of wisdom.
"Do you really want to be there when she catches that thing?" Venus didn't want to have to clean youma guts out of her hair again. Sometimes Jupiter could get a little.... bloodthirsty in her work. It scared her sometimes how her normally calm and down to earth friend could literally rip a youma to shreds with her bare hands and come out smiling. It was just creepy.
"We really should go after her. You never know it could be a trap of some kind." Said Mars as she tried to get the image of Jupiter covered in Youma dust grinning like a mad woman. "On second thought the youma might need our help."
There was giggling all around as the girls took off after their teammate.
Back at the train station Ranma turned towards his mother.
"You know mom I think I'm going to like it here."
"Glad to hear that son. My somebody should talk to those girls mothers. Those skirts are way too short some pervert could look up their skirts!"
"Mom I don't think any pervert would want to be anywhere near them if they ever caught him looking up their skirts."
"So son do you find any of them attractive?" Nodoka said while they were walking away from the scene.
Not expecting it Ranma stumbled a bit. "Ahh I've got enough girl problems without having to go chasing after them."
"Then you weren't staring at that green skirted sailor then?" Nodoka said with a wink.
This time Ranma did fall on his face.
"Moooom."
"Oh don't worry dear you've already got one wife and one fiancée, I don't think either Shampoo or Makoto would be willing to share you with yet another girl. I think that they'll have enough problems just getting used to each other. "
"That's assuming Shampoo doesn't just kill Makoto and just get it over with." Ranma grumbled.
"Oh I wouldn't worry too much about that I'm sure Makoto is in no danger, Shampoo won't do anything to her if she wants to keep you has her husband." Nodoka was smiling as Ranma didn't sound as against the multiple marriage as he did before. Now if she could only convince Makoto everything would be fine.
They walked in silence for another fifteen minutes before they came up to a gate. Nodoka turned in and started walking up the path towards the house. Ranma stopped and stared. The house was huge easily rivaling the Kuno mansion. He couldn't remember it since he was only five or so when he was last here. He wondered why the old man would ever leave this lap of luxury to travel on the road.
"Come on Ranma don't just stand out there all day we've got work to do." Nodoka was amused by her son's antics. She guessed correctly that he didn't know exactly how rich she was.
Ranma caught up to his mother but was still gawking at the sights.
"Hey mom is this really our house?"
"Yes son however it's not the house you grew up in. You see when your father and I were first married I didn't let him know exactly how much I was worth. I knew exactly the kind of man your father was when I married him. Or at least I thought I did. Anyway that's in the past now. I just hope that nothing like that happens again." in a quite whisper "I don't think my heart could take it."
"Don't worry mom I don't think I'll be leaving you again. I would like to know though where I'm going to sleep?" He was getting quite nervous as they'd passed several doors already and had gone up two flights of stairs.
"Here's your room Ranma" Nodoka said while opening the door that they'd stopped in front of.
His first impression was the space. The room was absolutely huge! Easily three times the size of the Tendo's guest room. The next thing he noticed was that it wasn't furnished that was the reason for the space. This kind of confused him since he would have thought his mother would have stuff for his room. He wasn't expecting to start off with nothing.
"I didn't know what you'd like so before I went out and spent tons of money I needed to know what you'd want in your room. We can go shopping later or tomorrow if you want."
"Ahh yeah that'd be a good idea. I don't really need a bed though. I'm used to sleeping on the floor."
"Yes well you may be used to it but you will be getting a proper bed." She held her hand up to forestall the complaint that she knew was on the tip of his tongue. "I know you don't want one but I think that once you get used to it you'll sleep better and not fall asleep at school as often. That is unless Makoto and Shampoo decide to keep you up late." She snickered at his gaping expression.
"Come on now we've still got the rest of the tour. Walter will have your things in your room in a few minutes."
As they walked around she showed him where her room was, the study, the bathrooms, the dojo, the kitchen (duh), and the weight room. When they got outside is when the tour got really weird. In the back yard there were several pens each containing what looked like a striped horse.
"They are zebra son. We keep them here."
"Umm why?" He'd only heard of zebra being kept in zoos and in Africa.
She winced when he said that. It was a bit more than what she wanted to tell him now.
"That's a little complicated, I'll explain everything when Makoto gets here tomorrow."
"Ahh ok." Ok his mom had a weird animal fetish. Still was better than his old man.
Pulling out a pocket watch she made a note of the time.
"Well Ranma how about we go out for lunch and then get to shopping?"
"Sounds good I guess." He really really didn't care for shopping but if he could spend time with his mom then so be it.
"Walter!"
"You called mistress?" Walter said from about 5 centimeters behind Ranma.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh" He screamed as he jumped straight up 15 feet.
"He sure can jump high mistress."
"Walter I would appreciate it if you would not give my son anymore heart attacks, he is all that is left you know."
"He also gets good hang time, yes I understand no more scaring the young master shitless got it."
It was around now that Ranma had finally come down from his impromptu flight completely breaking most laws of physics.
"Don't DO that!" Ranma screamed. It was like Dr. Tofu all over again except this guy was much much better. He didn't even notice him even after he'd mysteriously appeared behind him. Even looking directly at him Ranma still couldn't sense his presence, it was like he was a ghost. To test that theory he reached out and poked him. Sure enough he was solid.
"Yes young master I am quite real." Walter said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"You have got to teach me how to do that." A new technique and a willing teacher. Ranma may just learn to enjoy his stay here after all.
"Of course young master however I believe your mother wanted to take you shopping right now."
"Yes that is correct, could you please bring the car around."
"Of course mistress."
"Aren't we going to walk?" It was how they got from the train station why couldn't they just walk to the ginza to do their shopping?
"We're going to have too much to carry I'm afraid. We'll need the car to carry most of it. The larger pieces of furniture we'll have delivered." She explained while they were walking towards the driveway. Walter was already there in a brand new Toyota corolla.
"but... but..."
"You were expecting more? Neither Walter nor I use the car much so this is all we really need. " She got into the passenger side and Ranma got into the back.
"Being rich does not always mean spending as much as you can on fancy things you don't need. I've learned that more expensive does not always mean it's better. You will probably notice that everything at the house has a purpose and there is not much clutter."
"Yeah I did notice that there wasn't much stuff there."
"Some rooms are for storage, others are guest rooms, and others are for various other purposes. Sometimes we have quite a few people over at our house so we need the space. It can be quite wild at times so I hope you can adjust." She and Walter laughed a little at that. Ranma of course didn't get it.
"Don't worry about it young master compared to what you went through back in Nerima this will seem boring." Walter said as he turned into a parkade.
"We're here mistress."
They parked the car and got out.
"The first thing that you need are clothes." Honestly how he could survive on only 6 sets of clothes was beyond her. If he thought that all he could wear was Chinese tangs he had another thing coming.
Clothes shopping was a nightmare Ranma wanted his usual Chinese shirts and Nodoka was dead set against them. They eventually compromised she got most of the clothes that she wanted to get for him and he was allowed to get three Chinese outfits however they had to be at least two sizes too big for him. It was almost as if she was expecting him to have a massive growth spurt and shoot up to over six feet. Just one more of his mom's craziness coming through. Oh well at least he would get an allowance and he could go out and buy the clothes he wants.
After the clothes store they went to the electronics store and got him a TV, sound system and a game system for his room. They also got him an alarm clock and a few games for his game machine. He tried to protest but she just countered with she had years of birthday's and Christmas' to make up for.
Then furniture shopping. This is where things got weird. The dresser and night table were pretty standard, but the king sized bed was a little much.
"Mom I don't need a bed! I've slept on the ground and floors for as long as I can remember a bed will just make me soft."
"Trust me you're going to need a bed. You may be used to sleeping on the ground but Makoto is not."
Just one more thing to ensure that all parents must embarrass their offspring.
Ranma just turns a nuclear red.
"I believe it is getting late mistress we should probably return home for supper."
"Yes of course Walter."
The ride home was in silence, Ranma was just boggling at all of the stuff that he had now. For someone to go from carrying everything you own on your back to having an entire room full of your stuff was a little disheartening. It meant that he couldn't just pickup his stuff and leave on a whim, he now had roots, a real home, and family. It felt good. It felt really good.
When they arrived home Nodoka went immediately to the kitchen to start supper. Ranma and Walter were left to unload all of their purchases and carry them up to his room. Ranma didn't mind and Walter didn't seem to notice as he quietly bore his loads with nary at thought. When the furniture and the entertainment system arrived they had a little contest to see who could carry what up the fastest. Walter won when he carried the entire king sized bed with frame in under two minutes. Ranma had to respect that kind of strength. Even Ryoga would not be able to make that kind of time. He could do it of course but it would take him at least four or five minutes to do it in.
When they had finished putting everything away and hooking up the electronics Nodoka called them to dinner.
"The food's ready come and get it!"
Needless to say a starving Saotome just barely beat out the hired help.
Dinner was not what Ranma had envisioned for his traditional mother. There was no rice, no vegetables, just meat. Each person got a large chunk of meat lightly roasted and very very rare in the middle. Watching Walter and his mother tuck into the food it was like watching a couple of wild animals rip into a carcass. Still it was a lot more civilized than how he and his father usually ate. He tried to mimic his mothers eating style as to not offend her. It wasn't as difficult as he originally thought.
After supper he went out to the dojo to work off some of his meal. About halfway through one of his kata's he finally noticed that he was being watched. He spun around and quickly assumed a defensive stance. Seated on one side of the dojo was his mother and off to the side he noticed Walter was watching also.
"Umm how long have you guys been watching?" He was a bit nervous. He couldn't feel his mother's presence, it was quite unnerving to know that his mother could sneak up on him like that without him knowing.
"I've only been here about ten minutes but I think Walter's been watching since you started." Her son was too easy to scare. A simple thing like Dampening your presence shouldn't scare him this much.
Ok so he was living with people that could kill him six different ways and he would never know they were even there until he dropped dead. No nothing scary about that at all.
Walter detached himself from the shadows and walked (more like glided) over to where Ranma was currently standing.
"Young master would you care to spar with me? I would really like to see what you're capable of."
If Walter had suggested such a thing at the Tendo dojo he would have jumped at the chance, but now that he's observed him for a while now he wasn't so confident that he'd win.
"Alright let's see what you've got." Saotome school tenant #2 try to psych out your opponent.
And then it began. Walter was in his face faster than you could say 'eep' and it was on. Punches and kicks flew fast and furious. Several times Ranma 'felt' Walter move one way only to painfully find out that he'd moved the other way. Amagouriken speed punches rained down on him but Walter either blocked or dodged most of them. Some of them hit however and staggered him. He came back strong with a vicious right cross that Ranma blocked, but that was only a feint for the front kick that tossed him to the other side of the dojo. Walter wiped the small trickle of blood that was seeping from his lip. He then stood to full height and bowed towards Ranma.
"Well fought young master."
"Yeah you weren't so bad yourself, do you think you could teach me some of that stuff you were doing there."
"Of course, however most of my tricks were not quite enough to bring the win. I honestly don't know how much I can teach you." He bowed his head to look at the ground. "I'm not really a fighter just a servant."
He wasn't a fighter! Oh wow for not being a fighter he could fight better than most people back in Nerima.
"Don't trouble yourself Walter do you remember Tisus?" Seeing him nod she continued. "He owes me a favour or two I think he could give Ranma a lesson or two."
"Yes Tisus or his brother Remus could give him some instruction. Also Elder Cologne will be here for a while before she returns to her village I'm sure she would be willing to train him for a while."
All this talk of training was getting him excited. New techniques a martial artists dream, and he didn't have to fight, beg, or be tortured to get them.
It was around this time that the evil wizard snuck up on him and dumped a whole dump truck full of sleep dust into the dojo. As everyone was climbing out of the piles of dust and cursing the neighbors, the sleeping sand finally kicked in. Since Ranma was at least partially resistant to the drugs he was able to carry his mother and Walter into the house. Walter he dropped on the floor because honestly his ass was heavy. He made it to his mother's room and unceremoniously dropped her on her bed. By now his resistance to the sleep drug had worn down to pretty much nothing. Looking at the door then looking back at the floor then at the door again.
"Ahh fuck it." he said then face planted onto the floor.
The next morning when he woke up he found that he was face down on his bed in a pair of pajamas. The last thing he remembered was passing out fully clothed. If that's true who put him to bed? There were only two suspects neither of which thrilled him.
Walking downstairs still in the pajamas his nose caught the scent of something good cooking in the kitchen. Wandering in he saw his mom standing over a stove cooking up a storm.
"Mom what are you up to?" rhetorical question to break the ice.
"Cooking breakfast dear. Why don't you go upstairs and get changed."
Seeing as he wasn't going to be getting anything out of her right now he decided to get out of the pajamas then grill his mother.
At least he didn't end up naked in the middle of a pack of wolves. That happened one too many times with his father.
As soon as he was out of sight Nodoka pulled a stoppered flask from her kimono. She pulled the cork out and dumped the entire contents into his orange juice.
When he got to his room he found that a set of clothes was already laid out for him. Unfortunately it was a school uniform. He had a really really bad feeling about this.
He got dressed quickly in the uniform that his mother had put out for him. He returned downstairs to find that breakfast had been laid out for him. He sat down and started wolfing down as much food as he could. Breakfast was much like supper last night as in it wasn't traditional. There were sausages and eggs with pancakes. It was traditional western fare which was so not what his mother was supposed to be like.
"So I guess I've got to go to school?" Please no please no please no.
"Of course you do. I've got all of your supplies. You still haven't been transferred yet but that should be done in a couple of days. Now hurry up you don't want to be late."
"Thnks mm." He choked out around the remains of his food.
"Don't forget to finish your orange juice dear." She called out
He chugged the glass down. It was terrible but not so bad that he wanted to spit it up.
"Hey mom you really should pitch that orange juice, I think it's gone bad."
"Sorry about that dear, I'll have Walter go to the store and get some fresh orange juice today." Internally she was cheering soon she'd have her son back.
Ranma rushed out the door grabbing his obento and bag on the way out. When he got to the gate he jumped over it and then came to a screeching halt. He had no idea how to get to school. True to form Walter materialized about a foot behind his left ear.
"Do you need some assistance young master?"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaa" Ranma predictably jumped 15 feet in the air.
"Don't DO that!" Screamed Ranma. If he was a c c c c that thing he would have lost two of his lives already.
"Come on young master we've got to run if you want to make it to school on time."
As they took off with Ranma following Walter he noted that he didn't have to strain to keep up the ridiculous pace. They passed by a couple of blonds one of which had a stupid hairdo. Walter veered off as they approached the school and waved goodbye to Ranma. Ranma himself continued on towards the school doors putting on an extra burst of speed and making it into the building before the first late bell rung.
"Ok class I know this is strange but we have a new student today."
There were some murmurs. Transferring in halfway through the school year was rare. Ms Haruna ignored the murmurs and continued.
"His name is Ranma Saotome and he's transferring in from Furinken High school in the Nerima district."
Now that raised a commotion. Nerima was strange and interesting therefore anybody from Nerima should have piles of interesting stories, nothing like the boring monster attacks here in Juuban.
At that moment a youth with dusty blond hair walked into the classroom. He was wearing a school uniform and carrying his lunch and bag in one hand. His pigtail hung down the back of his head. Most of the girls started drooling, some were openly staring while drooling, and a select few were writing up their wedding plans while drooling. (Ok it was only two girls who were doing this but Usagi and Ami couldn't really be blamed could they?)
"Hello my name's Ranma Saotome heir to the Saotome school of anything goes martial arts." He bowed.
"Alright Ranma you can sit over by Ami by the window." When he was seated she continued. "Alright everybody turn to page 53."
During the day Ranma found that he was not tired and as such he was able to stay awake through all of his classes. Maybe what his mom said about the bed was true. Could it be that all he needed was a good night sleep? Either that or take away all the crazies keeping him awake at all hours and his old man throwing him into the koi pond for 'training' at 5 in the morning.
Lunch at Juuban was quite different from lunch at Furinken. There were quite a few girls looking to talk to him. He wasn't quite stupid enough to not know what they wanted to talk to him about. He hid in a convenient tree and ate his lunch. As with all of the meals before it this one was western. A sandwich with some pudding and milk in a thermos. He ate everything quickly and then waited for the lunch bell to ring before he sprinted across the yard and jumped into the open window of his classroom. He got a few stares but for the most part people ignored him.
The rest of the school day passed without incident. Several of the girls in the classroom tried to pass notes to him but were caught and sent out into the hall for their trouble.
Meanwhile in another ward.
The cat cafe was hopping and this time it wasn't because of business. There was a closed sign on the door and a large moving truck was out front. Inside a duck was quacking incessantly from it's cage trying to get out. Men were moving large boxes and trunks to the truck outside. Most of the boxes were marked China however some of them were marked as containing Shampoo. The moving men were trying to figure out how they could possibly use so much shampoo. Sure the purple haired chick would use quite a bit but not as much as what was in those boxes.
"Aiyah great grandmother Shampoo all packed now ready to go to airen's house."
"Very good granddaughter. The Saotome's servant should be here soon to take us to their house."
"Shampoo very happy finally get airen." Shampoo was vibrating with anticipation. "Just think that stupid Mousse try interfere again ruin Shampoo's chance." The duck quacked as if to indicate an affirmative.
"Don't worry granddaughter he won't be allowed anywhere near you or son-in- law." She cackled a bit. Shampoo, Mousse and the moving men shuddered at the sound.
"Hello any old wrinkled mummies in here?" Called out a cheerful voice.
Said cheerful voice was immediately smacked on the head with a walking stick. "Mind your elders boy!" Cologne was not really upset she just wouldn't take any lip from this kitten.
Walter rubbed the spot where she smacked him. "Yeah yeah grannie, you guys ready to go?"
"Yes we're all packed." Most of the stuff here is going back to China (all of the dangerous stuff was stored in her weapons space. She would only stay another few months to make sure Shampoo was well settled and to teach her a few things before she would have to return to the village and try to explain why Shampoo would not be returning.
"Well then shall we go?" He opened the door and led everybody outside to the car. Mousse was still in his cage when one of the moving men picked it up. On the top of the cage was a sticker denoting the destination as Bolivia.
The ride to the Saotome residence was uneventful. Also the unloading of Shampoo's and Cologne's things also went off without a hitch. By the time everything was said and done school was over.
Walking home Ranma noticed a tall girl with long brown hair following him. He turned around but kept walking backwards.
"Can I help you?" Ranma was a bit curious as to who she was.
"Umm you wouldn't be Ranma Saotome would you?" She seemed a bit hesitant.
"Yeah." Ok yellow alert.
"Mrs. Saotome's son?" she seemed a bit more confident now.
"Yeah..." Red alert all hands to battle stations.
"Oh wow Auntie Saotome's told me lots of stories about you!" So he was real Auntie's not as crazy as she once thought.
"Umm you wouldn't happen to be Makoto Kino would you?" Tall, very pretty, big breasts. Wouldn't be too bad, now if she could only cook...
"Yup that's me! How'd you know?"
"Mom told me a bit about you." Yeah like you're my brand spanking new fiancée.
"So do you know why Auntie asked me to come over today? She wouldn't tell me just that it was a surprise."
"I've got an idea or two but nothing quite certain." yeah surprise this guy's going to be your loving husband no go off and make babies. Oh yes can't forget this other chick here is going to be sharing him with you. Have a nice day.
As they rounded the corner they noticed a moving truck pulling away from the Saotome residence. When they got to the door they were greeted by Walter. He ushered them into the study where Mrs. Saotome along with Cologne and Shampoo were already waiting. Nodoka was dressed in an extremely loose outfit, it looked about two sizes too big for her.
"Ahh good you're here, before we begin Mako chan I'd like you to do something for me." She picked up a small stoppered flask from the desk behind her. "I'd like you to drink this please."
"What is it Auntie?" Ok the crazy meter was going off the scale now. Sure Auntie was 'eccentric' but getting her to drink wierd 'magic' potions wasn't normal even for Auntie.
"Don't worry it won't hurt you, actually it is to undo something that was done to you when you were only a baby. Ranma already drank his this morning and it's finished it's work with no ill effects."
"Whaddya mean drank it this morning.."
"There was nothing wrong with the orange juice dear."
"Aiyah Shampoo wonder why airen dye hair."
"Dye my hair what?" He pulled his pigtail over his shoulder to look at it. Sure enough it was a dirty blond colour. "Hey what the????"
"Don't worry Ranma you were born with blond hair it's just the potion you were given as a baby changed your hair colour to black. Now Makoto if you would please drink that then I can get on with my explanation."
Deciding that it couldn't do anymore harm she pulled off the cork and slammed it back. Who knows maybe she might look good as a blond.
Nodoka looked relieved for some reason.
"Ok now that that's done I can get to telling you exactly what that was for." She took a deep breath. "Long ago the world was filled with magic, dragons, elves, magical kingdoms were the norm. From these times the Lycanthrope race was created. Werewolves, tigers, rats, panthers, ravens etc came to power. They served the good queen Serendipity, however some of them got greedy and joined the forces of darkness. Sadly to say that that was the end of the era. The remaining lycanthropes used their magic to flee to a different world taking their magic with them. The world was plunged into darkness until man found technology and rebuilt the world. Not all of the magical creatures fled though, some decided to stay behind. Some of them were hunted by the humans, others warred among themselves. Such is the tale of the werewolves and the werecheetahs." She paused to take a drink of water.
"The cheetahs and the wolves have been fighting amongst each other for over 500 years. About 20 years ago the werewolves invited the werecheetahs to live with them in peace. The werecheetah's who were tired of war decided to take them up on the offer." She sighed and looked down.
"It was a trap. The werewolves and werecheetahs annihilated each other that day. Out of the dead the werecheetahs were the worst off with only four survivors. There were only forty werewolves left after the battle." Under her breath "About ten now."
"Umm that's a great story mom but what does it have to do with us?" Ranma didn't like where this was going.
"It has everything to do with us. You see dear I was on a diplomatic meeting with the Amazons when the wolves attacked."
Time stopped as she seemed to shift and grow. Her loose outfit stretched as she grew to fit it. muscles buldged and hair grew. Her ears shifted so that they were near the top of her head. When it was done werecheetah Nodoka was standing in front of them.
"I am a werecheetah."
The results were not what she was expecting.
"Ahhhhhh CAT!!!" As he practiced the Saotome cling to the ceiling technique.
"Monster! Jupiter planet power make up!"
"Aiyah!" Sching! Sching being the sound of a Chinese scimitar being drawn.
"Umm oh my." This was definitely not how things were supposed to happen.
Somewhere in the background an ancient Amazon elder and manservant were laughing their asses off.
Authors notes:
I'm terribly sorry again for this. It grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go until I wrote at least the first chapter or so. Don't worry though Cat's Tale is next on my to write list.
I'd just like to say in advance
I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon, or Ranma, or Gold Diggers. Suing me is futile as I am poor.
Fast Tracks
Chapter uno: It all goes to hell
It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If this is true then the 4077 turnpike to the lower pits was mostly funded by a Genma Saotome. It was his good intention to engage his son so that the problem of getting a mate would be avoided, not like the boy would have any problems but... of course if the chosen girl wasn't acceptable then of course maybe one of the other engagements would be more to his liking. Nothing too good for his boy. Most men would be thrilled to have so many beautiful girls hanging on him. He mostly forgot the fact that he only used most of the engagements to fill his fat stomach while ignoring the boy.
Currently the Hell construction crew was working on the isengard cloverleaf with his good intentions.
The scene is the Tendo dojo early morning. Ranma has just learned the Moko Takabisha and is quite exhausted from his long workout. Unknown to him a shadow has been following him for the past few days watching his every movement, going through his personal effects, and of course breaking into Nabiki's personal files.
Today is the day the shadow finally gets to finish its mission. Without a sound the shadow takes to the rooftops and proceeds to Juuban prefecture at top speed. Its mistress would be overjoyed to hear what it had to report. Well maybe not.
Back at the dojo Kasumi was just putting the final touches on breakfast before serving it. As she hummed a little tune to herself she wondered if she was forgetting something... something important about today. For the life of her she couldn't remember why today was so important. Oh well she was sure that she'd remember later on, for now she had to call everyone for breakfast.
"Breakfast is ready everyone!" She called out knowing almost immediately that if she went out now she'd be trampled by the stampede. Waiting till the count of 20 before she started walking ensured her survival for another day. Tossing the food onto the table ensured that she kept all of her appendages. The fierceness of the combatants today was exceptionally savage. She could understand poor Ranma-kun as he'd been up all night training to do that blast thingy of his and had probably used up a lot of energy. Of course she could think of much better ways for him to use up that energy. Just because she was a repressed housewife well without the wife part, didn't mean that she couldn't fantasize now and then.
As Kasumi's thoughts drifted into the NC-17 spectrum other members of the family were watching the spectacle with an appreciative eye. Well not so much appreciative but mercenary. Nabiki was thinking about how much this was going to cost the family and exactly how they were going to make it up. She really didn't mind feeding Ranma for willingly or not he helped put food on the table in the first place. It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes. No it was his good for nothing father who did absolutely fuck all to help pay. Oh her daddy said that he was a guest and as such didn't need to pay, but of course this from a man that didn't work either and didn't provide for himself. Oh yes both of them would have to go then she could have Ranma 'work' of his debt to her.
While Nabiki's thoughts descended into illegal in most states and provinces territory the youngest Tendo who actually had reason to think naughty thoughts about her fiancée, wasn't. The reason for this is quite obvious. While everybody was always thinking that when she protested and said that she didn't like him and would never marry the egotistical jerk, that she was actually telling the truth. She hated him, plain and simple. There was only one reason why she kept the engagement going. To get a full understanding we have to go into a little bit of history.
Before Ranma arrived she was the best martial artist in Nerima and everyone knew it. After he came however and his various suitors eventually joined him, she went from being the best to the bottom of the barrel. She was loathe to admit it but if Kuno with his new training against Ranma ever went full out against her she would lose. This simple fact galled her to no end. The one competition that she knew she could win was the fiancée race. Her father and Mr. Saotome wouldn't let anything disrupt it. Of course she knew that both her sisters were interested in Ranma now but if she just gave him over that would be like quitting. And stubborn as a mule and twice as thick Akane would not quit.
Back to the present Akane was getting angry. Nothing-new there. The fact that her anger was directed solely at Ranma was again not new. Her smashing him with her mallet towards the koi pond was getting so old now that the koi have taken to judging his entry.
9.5 8.5 9.0 9.0 5.5
The last koi deducted points because Ranma ended up landing on him.
It was a wet and female baby red dragon that emerged from the pond using it's fire breath to burn the entire Tendo family and one stupid panda to crispy bits before it flew off to pillage some village somewhere.
Umm oops wrong story.
Actually a sopping wet redhead crawled out of the pond looking like something the cat dragged in. She paused to take off her shirt to wring it out and glare at the koi that gave her a 5.5 as she felt that the half twist before splashdown would at least make it a 7. As she was putting her shirt back on she looked up when she noticed that someone was coming through the front gates. The woman was in her late thirties with dark copper hair and blue eyes. Instantly Ranma felt that she should know this woman but recognition evaded her. (think Ryoga) Unfortunately she wasn't the only one to notice her. As she rounded the house the rest of the family was able to see her as well. Three people recognized her almost immediately. Kasumi was first.
"Oh my Auntie Saotome I forgot that you were coming over today, I would have set up another place for you." Of course she now remembered what was so important about today.
"Nadoka how wonderful of you to stop by, isn't that right Saotome?" Soun was of course next to speak looking over at his pandafied friend.
I'm just a cute panda, I'm certainly nobody's husband
Of course it would have worked immeasurably better if he'd been a panda. Nabiki of course was trying to figure out how to sue him for false advertising claiming that his panda form was cute was a blatant lie.
"Mom?" Ranma spoke up finally.
"It's nice to see you too dear, I had hoped that Walter's description was just his way of making the story more interesting, but the proof is staring me right in the eye." Nodoka sighed heavily. She had hoped that Walter was just adding things to make Ranma's life seem more interesting but if he was telling the truth about the girl thing she was afraid of what else he might have been telling the truth about.
"Mom!" Ranma shouted out at she launched herself at her mother.
Just as he was about to make contact with her Nodoka dodged to the right and let Ranma sail past.
"Now Ranma you're soaking wet, why don't you get cleaned up first then we'll talk ok dear."
"Ok mom." Ranma replied running full tilt towards the furo.
Nodoka smiled sweetly. If her son could have withstood half of what Walter described then he would find what was to come a piece of cake. Now to gather the players in this little game together. Now if Walter was telling the truth then all she would have to do is...
"Nabiki dear would you please call everyone that is involved with my son. I have something's to discuss."
Wondering just how much she could charge for this Nabiki headed off to the phone.
Sometime later
Everyone was gathered in the dojo. The Tendo's were on one side, the Amazon's and Ukyo were in the middle, and finally the Kuno's were on the other side. At the front of this little gathering sat Ranma, Nodoka and Genma.
After some minor skirmishes (Minor as in nobody had to be carted off yet) Nodoka stood up and began to speak.
"First of all I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. Now most of you are familiar with Ranma and my good for nothing husband. My name is Nodoka Saotome and I am Ranma's mother. There is a reason I've called you together like this. It has recently come to my attention that Genma here has been making promises to engage Ranma to various different girls." She paused to look around the room. "Now there is a problem with this, you see when I originally met Genma he was a homeless ronin. I was drunk at the time and he was there so we found an all night chapel and got married." There were some gasps at this. "When I sobered up the next day and found him in my bed sleeping next to me I blew my stack. That was nothing compared to what happened when I found out I was married to him. I tried to get a divorce but he would have none of it. To make a long story short nine months later Ranma was born. Now while I despised my husband I loved my son." She let out a heavy sigh. "Four years after Ranma was born I came home to find that Walter had been knocked out cold by someone and both my husband and son were missing. As I searched the house I came upon this document."
Reaching into her kimono she brought out a document. Actually it looked like some chicken scratches combined with a child's finger painting.
"I found this. Basically it says that Genma would take Ranma on a training trip and that if he failed to make Ranma a man among men that they would both commit seppuku." Ranma of course winced at this. "Of course a four year old child could not understand what this means so I will not be holding Ranma to the contract." Everybody noticed Genma trying to sneak out of the dojo. He held up a sign.
I am invisible you can not see me.
"As I was saying I will not be holding Ranma to the contract because even with the curse I think it was, the fact that he has not just killed the whole lot of you already speaks for his character." She turned to face Ranma. "Ranma I Nodoka Saotome head of the Saotome clan Judge you a man among men." Several people gasped when she mentioned that she was the head of the clan.
"Whoa hold on here YOU'RE the clan head?!!" Ukyo shouted.
"That is correct um Ukyo was it?" Nodoka stated calm as ice.
"But that means..." Ukyo stopped as she herself realized what exactly it meant.
"That is correct Ukyo-san. All of the engagements Genma made are invalid." This of course caused an uproar.
"But the schools must be joined!" - Panda man
"Waaaaaaaaaa" - Waterworks
"Finally the evil Saotome's hold over the fierce Akane Tendo and the pigtailed goddess is over. Come let us embrace our love." - Poster boy for mental illness
"Embrace this." Trinity I mean Akane
"You're current bill is 127,000 yen, thank you for staying at park place." - Scrooge mc Tendo
"Oh Fuck, I mean My." - Kasumi sex kitten Tendo
"Noo Ranma sama you'll choose me won't you." - Cracks glass at 50 paces with her laugh
"..." - Shampoo "Snoopy happy dance"
"Shampoo it is undignified of an Amazon to dance like that. No do not spike your bonbori." - Yoda
"I want a new panda rug." - Slightly deranged ambisexual best friend
When everyone had calmed down slightly Nodoka continued.
"Cologne I am well aware of your great granddaughter's claim, and I am also aware of your laws. There is a complication however."
"And what would this complication be exactly? By our laws Shampoo is married to son in law. This wouldn't happen to be another fiancée would it?" Cologne may be old but she is by no means stupid.
Nodoka heaved a great sigh.
"Yes that's it exactly. "
"Mom?" Ranma said hesitantly.
"I'll explain. You see before I met Genma I was good friends with a Sauri and Tocho Kino. We agreed that if we had children of the opposite gender that they would be engaged to be married. I do not know what to do this is a huge mess. "
"The answer is simple of course Ranma marries Shampoo and comes back to China." Cologne stated.
Nodoka sighed again. She hasn't sighed this much in at least ten years. She reaches into her kimono again and pulls out a medallion. Upon seeing it Cologne muttered an ancient curse. Something to do with the inbred offspring of two Jusenkyo cursed males. Seeing that the elder recognized the symbol and knew what it meant she put it back into her kimono.
"Alright what do you suggest we do then?" Cologne signed. She really hated the situation. It was giving her such a headache. Oh well if the connections she was making were accurate then at least her stay would be interesting none the less.
"Well what I suggest is that you and your great granddaughter come and stay at my house. We can try to figure something out from there." Ever since Walter had given his report she had been trying to figure some honorable way out of the Amazon engagement. She couldn't use the pact between her clan and the Amazons because quite honestly there was no clause in the agreement pertaining to the laws. The best she could hope for was for Ranma to marry Makoto and take Shampoo as a second wife or mistress.
"Elder Cologne I believe that we should adjourned for the day I will have Walter stop by later to help you move your things." She looked up. "Walter I take it that you've got Ranma's things?"
Apparently from thin; air a large man in a ninja garb materialized holding a large backpack. Several people including Cologne jumped because they couldn't detect his presence until he poofed into existence.
"Yes mistress. I have all of master Ranma's possessions and am ready to depart."
"Very good Walter. Come on Ranma our business is finished here let's go home." She got up and started walking towards the door. Ranma automatically got up and started to follow. This of course touched off another frantic commotion.
"Nodoka as you're husband I demand that you reconsider. The agreement between Soun and myself is honorable. The two schools of Anything goes must be joined!" Genma roared. He wouldn't let his retirement freeloading off his son go out the window. Damnit he'd worked hard to get the boy ready.
"Hey what about my dowry! That fat bastard stole it and ten years of y life!" Ukyo was mad. Ten bloody years living as a boy and now all gone with jack and shit to show for it. Oh yes she was damned sure she was going to get compensation.
"I am terribly sorry Ukyo-san," Nodoka said while bowing low "I understand that your honour has been tarnished by my fat fool of a husband. I can not make up for the ten years of your life however the Saotome clan will try to make reparations. If you would like I have some great recipes for panda and know a great tanner where you can get a fine rug made."
Genma of course was turning a nice shade of white. He wasn't sure if his wife was kidding or not. Thinking back on everything he's done to her and their son he decided that a nice long trip to Siberia would be a good idea right about now. Hell even ikaluit NWT would be preferable to here. He quietly engaged his stealth mode part of the umi sen ken, and snuck out of the dojo. If he was lucky he would be able to get his backpack and be well on his way before the chef or that damnable pet ninja of Nodoka's could catch him.
As he was sneaking out of the dojo the door slammed shut catching him on the ass. Inside the dojo Walter just smiled as he put the second backpack beside the first.
"Enough! " Shouted Nodoka. "Ranma come on we've got to get home now."
"No you can't take him! He's my retirement! He MUST marry one of my girls!" Soun was desperate now if Ranma was allowed to leave the dojo he'd have to go back to work, the horror of it. He knew that he was no match for Nodoka but there was one that could go toe to toe with the Saotome matriarch.
"Nabiki you've got to stop them."
"Mrs. Saotome I'm afraid that during his stay here Ranma has racked up quite a personal debt to myself for services rendered. I'm afraid that I can not allow him to leave with such a large debt." Nabiki was confident that this would get them to change their minds. Ranma's debt was quite substantial and there was no way that she was just going to pull out her purse and hand her a huge freaking wad of yen.
As soon as the said huge freaking wad of yen was in her hands she knew that something was extremely wrong with the universe. Ranma was POOR, extremely POOR and his mother had just HANDED her over 200,000 yen like it was nothing at all! Maybe she was a little hasty when she forked him over to her little dyke sister.
"Nabiki dear were any of these services rendered taking him to bed with you and making wild monkey love?" Nodoka asked hopefully. Maybe Ranma would be interested in having another concubine. One could only hope. Visions of grandchildren danced in her head.
"MOM!" Hear the cry of the terminally embarrassed offspring.
"Ahh no... as far as I know I'm still a virgin." Truth be told if she got the chance she would have done him for free.
"Well a mother can hope can't she. I'm not getting any younger and I'd really like some grandchildren." Inside Nodoka was snapping her fingers.
"Very well then. I believe that concludes our business here. Come along Ranma, let's go home." She said as she turned to leave Ranma following on her heels. When they reached the threshold of the dojo Ranma stopped and turned around.
"I thank you for the hospitality that you have shown me. Good Bye." He bowed low then turned around and walked after his mother.
Everyone in the dojo knew that they probably would never see him again... unless, of course, if they decided to visit him at his house.
As they passed the gates of the dojo Ranma turned to his mother.
"Hey mom wait up I've got to get my pack."
"Don't worry about it. Walter has already collected your things and is on his way to our house. When he has finished he will return here to collect the Amazons."
"Mom, do I really have to marry Shampoo. All she's done is try to drug me and trick me into marrying her. I can't trust her!" It was just now sinking in that he had to marry Shampoo. Sure she was cute and cuddly but the number of times she tried to get him on a date by the use of drugs was just too much for him.
"Son did you ever try to think of things from her perspective? You're her husband and you keep running away from her. I know a little about Amazon law and I know that if she fails to get you for her husband she would be punished severely. While I don't agree with her methods I do understand where she is coming from. Maybe if you actually took the time to get to know her you might come to like her. If worse comes to worse all you really have to do is get her pregnant a couple of times and that's all the contact that you need to have with her. On the other hand I do expect you to be nice to Makoto. She has been like a daughter to me and I wish to see her happy so you will at least try to act civilized around her do you understand?" She paused to let this sink in. She really did like Makoto and the thought of her and Ranma together happily married was a dream of hers for quite some time now.
"Also if you could try to be nice to Shampoo as well I would appreciate it. You never know she may surprise you."
"Mom, I promise I'll try, I don't guarantee that anything will happen but I'll at least give it a shot." His mom really wanted this . He couldn't disappoint her. Not again. Never again. Of course one thing was nagging at him.
"Mom when you said that Shampoo would be punished if she didn't get me as a husband, what kind of punishment would that be?" Just because he didn't want to marry her didn't mean he wanted her to suffer. " Nodoka looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.
"Well for the first failure a Jusenkyo curse is pretty much standard punishment."
"Uhh mom she's already got a Jusenkyo curse."
She looked shocked for a second. "I didn't know that. There appears to be a lot of information that Walter missed in his report. You'll have to tell me more later. So Shampoo's already got a Jusenkyo curse do you know why?"
"Uhh yeah you see originally she was trying to kill me, I kinda defeated her in girl form in front of the whole village."
Nodoka twitched. "And why did you have to fight her in the first place?"
Ranma looked down at the ground sheepishly. "Uhh well you see me n pop had just come from Jusenkyo and we were really hungry..." He trailed off.
The twitch was joined by a friend. "And you just decided that the big table of food that was labeled FIRST PRIZE was some kind of banquet." She sighed heavily. There were going to be some changes that needed to be made. "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma you're really in deep. To answer your question if an Amazon fails a second time... well spaying is pretty common for second failures."
Ranma froze in midstep. Did he just hear that right. "You're kidding right, they wouldn't really do that would they?"
"Oh yes they would. Now as for third failures..."
"What about third failures?"
She hesitated for a couple of seconds before replying. "There are no third failures son."
After about two minutes of silence she decided to continue.
"Now do you understand why she was so desperate to get your attention? She didn't have much choice."
The rest of the trip to the train station was in silence. Both of them had a lot to think about.
As they were departing the train station they were shocked to hear screams coming from the other end of the platform. As the crowd cleared out they saw a vaguely female monster facing off against five cheerleaders. The one with the two long ponytails was making some stupid speech about love, justice and daily commuters. The whole thing was like some stupid sentai show. That was until they started throwing around some real magic. Ranma was about to jump in and help when his mother put her hand on his shoulder.
"No son this is their fight, we'll just stand by and watch. If it looks like one of them is in trouble then you can jump in."
Five minutes earlier.
Slodion was a very happy minion. Her master had congratulated her several times because of her good work. The reason she was so good at her job was that she understood that the best way to get the job done and get home alive was to be subtle. If your enemies didn't know you were doing something wrong then they couldn't catch you. She had already gathered quite a bit of energy from homeless people and some local yakuza. These were people that wouldn't be missed if they all of a sudden turned up dead.
Today however when she was draining some homeless guy at the train station she suddenly found herself surrounded by the Sailor Scouts. This was serious as she was now outnumbered five to one. She had to get out of there. Her own survival was paramount to completing the mission. As she tried to run she was surrounded. Hopefully what she'd heard about the scouts was true and that they were entirely dependant on their magic. If this was true then she had a chance to get out of this in one piece after all.
It was just another day in the lives of five normal superhero girls. They were on their way to get some ice cream after a heavy study session at the temple when screaming caught their attention. Having gone through this routine several times before in the past they basically reacted on autopilot. first they ducked into an alleyway checking to make sure that they weren't spotted. Five bright and flashy transformation sequences later they were ready to go hunt evil and protect the future once again.
When they arrived at the train station it was fairly easy to see where the problem was just run towards where the crowd was running away from. When they arrived they saw the standard vaguely humanoid female energy draining monster draining some hapless homeless guy.
"You know just for once I'd like to see a vaguely humanoid male monster. You know just for some variety." Commented Mars.
"Well you know what we've got to do then." Said Moon getting in front readying her speech. "You there I won't let you harm that homeless man, his life is no less precious than any other human..."
"My life's worthless. If I can be of some use to this monster here I'd rather die doing something useful. So if you girls would just bugger off for a bit." Turning back to the monster he said. "Ok now monster san where were we?"
Needless to say the Scouts were speechless. This guy actually wanted to die by the monster's hands just so he could be useful.
"To hell with it let's just get her!" Mars shouted while charging.
"Why not it's what we do anyway." Said Mercury joining the charge.
Within a couple of seconds the youma, as they decided to call it until they could find a better name, was surrounded by a bevy of girls in short skirts.
When the magic started flying the girls immediately knew that something was wrong. Mercury quickly ducked out to analyzed the situation. Their magic was having no effect on the youma. Within a couple of seconds she had her answer. They youma was specially designed to fight against them. It was weaker than the Daimons but it had stupid amounts of magic resistance. They couldn't hurt it unless they went toe to toe with it and unfortunately the only one in their group who had any formal martial training was Makoto. Seeing Venus get tossed into a drink machine and moon following shortly after Mercury decided that they needed to do this now.
"Our magic is useless it's got too much resistance, we've got to fight it hand to hand."
"Hand to hand? Are you crazy we'll get creamed!" Mars shouted. Sure she had a green belt in karate but that was nothing compared to what the youma were capable of.
"So basically we beat it till it dies." Jupiter said while cracking her knuckles. "I think I can deal with that."
The youma hearing all of this decided that it was time to run. She was magic resistant however her doctor had recently told her to avoid too much iron in her diet. Something like the steel pipe that Jupiter had ripped from the wall and was swinging around menacingly. She turned and ran not even stopping just shoving Mars out of her way as she ran past with an overzealous Jupiter on her heels.
"Come back here you baka monster."
A coffee covered Moon who'd just crawled out of the coffee machine said aloud. "Jupiter scares me."
Several girls nodded in agreement.
"Do you think we should follow her? She might need our help." Mercury of course cursed herself for being the voice of wisdom.
"Do you really want to be there when she catches that thing?" Venus didn't want to have to clean youma guts out of her hair again. Sometimes Jupiter could get a little.... bloodthirsty in her work. It scared her sometimes how her normally calm and down to earth friend could literally rip a youma to shreds with her bare hands and come out smiling. It was just creepy.
"We really should go after her. You never know it could be a trap of some kind." Said Mars as she tried to get the image of Jupiter covered in Youma dust grinning like a mad woman. "On second thought the youma might need our help."
There was giggling all around as the girls took off after their teammate.
Back at the train station Ranma turned towards his mother.
"You know mom I think I'm going to like it here."
"Glad to hear that son. My somebody should talk to those girls mothers. Those skirts are way too short some pervert could look up their skirts!"
"Mom I don't think any pervert would want to be anywhere near them if they ever caught him looking up their skirts."
"So son do you find any of them attractive?" Nodoka said while they were walking away from the scene.
Not expecting it Ranma stumbled a bit. "Ahh I've got enough girl problems without having to go chasing after them."
"Then you weren't staring at that green skirted sailor then?" Nodoka said with a wink.
This time Ranma did fall on his face.
"Moooom."
"Oh don't worry dear you've already got one wife and one fiancée, I don't think either Shampoo or Makoto would be willing to share you with yet another girl. I think that they'll have enough problems just getting used to each other. "
"That's assuming Shampoo doesn't just kill Makoto and just get it over with." Ranma grumbled.
"Oh I wouldn't worry too much about that I'm sure Makoto is in no danger, Shampoo won't do anything to her if she wants to keep you has her husband." Nodoka was smiling as Ranma didn't sound as against the multiple marriage as he did before. Now if she could only convince Makoto everything would be fine.
They walked in silence for another fifteen minutes before they came up to a gate. Nodoka turned in and started walking up the path towards the house. Ranma stopped and stared. The house was huge easily rivaling the Kuno mansion. He couldn't remember it since he was only five or so when he was last here. He wondered why the old man would ever leave this lap of luxury to travel on the road.
"Come on Ranma don't just stand out there all day we've got work to do." Nodoka was amused by her son's antics. She guessed correctly that he didn't know exactly how rich she was.
Ranma caught up to his mother but was still gawking at the sights.
"Hey mom is this really our house?"
"Yes son however it's not the house you grew up in. You see when your father and I were first married I didn't let him know exactly how much I was worth. I knew exactly the kind of man your father was when I married him. Or at least I thought I did. Anyway that's in the past now. I just hope that nothing like that happens again." in a quite whisper "I don't think my heart could take it."
"Don't worry mom I don't think I'll be leaving you again. I would like to know though where I'm going to sleep?" He was getting quite nervous as they'd passed several doors already and had gone up two flights of stairs.
"Here's your room Ranma" Nodoka said while opening the door that they'd stopped in front of.
His first impression was the space. The room was absolutely huge! Easily three times the size of the Tendo's guest room. The next thing he noticed was that it wasn't furnished that was the reason for the space. This kind of confused him since he would have thought his mother would have stuff for his room. He wasn't expecting to start off with nothing.
"I didn't know what you'd like so before I went out and spent tons of money I needed to know what you'd want in your room. We can go shopping later or tomorrow if you want."
"Ahh yeah that'd be a good idea. I don't really need a bed though. I'm used to sleeping on the floor."
"Yes well you may be used to it but you will be getting a proper bed." She held her hand up to forestall the complaint that she knew was on the tip of his tongue. "I know you don't want one but I think that once you get used to it you'll sleep better and not fall asleep at school as often. That is unless Makoto and Shampoo decide to keep you up late." She snickered at his gaping expression.
"Come on now we've still got the rest of the tour. Walter will have your things in your room in a few minutes."
As they walked around she showed him where her room was, the study, the bathrooms, the dojo, the kitchen (duh), and the weight room. When they got outside is when the tour got really weird. In the back yard there were several pens each containing what looked like a striped horse.
"They are zebra son. We keep them here."
"Umm why?" He'd only heard of zebra being kept in zoos and in Africa.
She winced when he said that. It was a bit more than what she wanted to tell him now.
"That's a little complicated, I'll explain everything when Makoto gets here tomorrow."
"Ahh ok." Ok his mom had a weird animal fetish. Still was better than his old man.
Pulling out a pocket watch she made a note of the time.
"Well Ranma how about we go out for lunch and then get to shopping?"
"Sounds good I guess." He really really didn't care for shopping but if he could spend time with his mom then so be it.
"Walter!"
"You called mistress?" Walter said from about 5 centimeters behind Ranma.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh" He screamed as he jumped straight up 15 feet.
"He sure can jump high mistress."
"Walter I would appreciate it if you would not give my son anymore heart attacks, he is all that is left you know."
"He also gets good hang time, yes I understand no more scaring the young master shitless got it."
It was around now that Ranma had finally come down from his impromptu flight completely breaking most laws of physics.
"Don't DO that!" Ranma screamed. It was like Dr. Tofu all over again except this guy was much much better. He didn't even notice him even after he'd mysteriously appeared behind him. Even looking directly at him Ranma still couldn't sense his presence, it was like he was a ghost. To test that theory he reached out and poked him. Sure enough he was solid.
"Yes young master I am quite real." Walter said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"You have got to teach me how to do that." A new technique and a willing teacher. Ranma may just learn to enjoy his stay here after all.
"Of course young master however I believe your mother wanted to take you shopping right now."
"Yes that is correct, could you please bring the car around."
"Of course mistress."
"Aren't we going to walk?" It was how they got from the train station why couldn't they just walk to the ginza to do their shopping?
"We're going to have too much to carry I'm afraid. We'll need the car to carry most of it. The larger pieces of furniture we'll have delivered." She explained while they were walking towards the driveway. Walter was already there in a brand new Toyota corolla.
"but... but..."
"You were expecting more? Neither Walter nor I use the car much so this is all we really need. " She got into the passenger side and Ranma got into the back.
"Being rich does not always mean spending as much as you can on fancy things you don't need. I've learned that more expensive does not always mean it's better. You will probably notice that everything at the house has a purpose and there is not much clutter."
"Yeah I did notice that there wasn't much stuff there."
"Some rooms are for storage, others are guest rooms, and others are for various other purposes. Sometimes we have quite a few people over at our house so we need the space. It can be quite wild at times so I hope you can adjust." She and Walter laughed a little at that. Ranma of course didn't get it.
"Don't worry about it young master compared to what you went through back in Nerima this will seem boring." Walter said as he turned into a parkade.
"We're here mistress."
They parked the car and got out.
"The first thing that you need are clothes." Honestly how he could survive on only 6 sets of clothes was beyond her. If he thought that all he could wear was Chinese tangs he had another thing coming.
Clothes shopping was a nightmare Ranma wanted his usual Chinese shirts and Nodoka was dead set against them. They eventually compromised she got most of the clothes that she wanted to get for him and he was allowed to get three Chinese outfits however they had to be at least two sizes too big for him. It was almost as if she was expecting him to have a massive growth spurt and shoot up to over six feet. Just one more of his mom's craziness coming through. Oh well at least he would get an allowance and he could go out and buy the clothes he wants.
After the clothes store they went to the electronics store and got him a TV, sound system and a game system for his room. They also got him an alarm clock and a few games for his game machine. He tried to protest but she just countered with she had years of birthday's and Christmas' to make up for.
Then furniture shopping. This is where things got weird. The dresser and night table were pretty standard, but the king sized bed was a little much.
"Mom I don't need a bed! I've slept on the ground and floors for as long as I can remember a bed will just make me soft."
"Trust me you're going to need a bed. You may be used to sleeping on the ground but Makoto is not."
Just one more thing to ensure that all parents must embarrass their offspring.
Ranma just turns a nuclear red.
"I believe it is getting late mistress we should probably return home for supper."
"Yes of course Walter."
The ride home was in silence, Ranma was just boggling at all of the stuff that he had now. For someone to go from carrying everything you own on your back to having an entire room full of your stuff was a little disheartening. It meant that he couldn't just pickup his stuff and leave on a whim, he now had roots, a real home, and family. It felt good. It felt really good.
When they arrived home Nodoka went immediately to the kitchen to start supper. Ranma and Walter were left to unload all of their purchases and carry them up to his room. Ranma didn't mind and Walter didn't seem to notice as he quietly bore his loads with nary at thought. When the furniture and the entertainment system arrived they had a little contest to see who could carry what up the fastest. Walter won when he carried the entire king sized bed with frame in under two minutes. Ranma had to respect that kind of strength. Even Ryoga would not be able to make that kind of time. He could do it of course but it would take him at least four or five minutes to do it in.
When they had finished putting everything away and hooking up the electronics Nodoka called them to dinner.
"The food's ready come and get it!"
Needless to say a starving Saotome just barely beat out the hired help.
Dinner was not what Ranma had envisioned for his traditional mother. There was no rice, no vegetables, just meat. Each person got a large chunk of meat lightly roasted and very very rare in the middle. Watching Walter and his mother tuck into the food it was like watching a couple of wild animals rip into a carcass. Still it was a lot more civilized than how he and his father usually ate. He tried to mimic his mothers eating style as to not offend her. It wasn't as difficult as he originally thought.
After supper he went out to the dojo to work off some of his meal. About halfway through one of his kata's he finally noticed that he was being watched. He spun around and quickly assumed a defensive stance. Seated on one side of the dojo was his mother and off to the side he noticed Walter was watching also.
"Umm how long have you guys been watching?" He was a bit nervous. He couldn't feel his mother's presence, it was quite unnerving to know that his mother could sneak up on him like that without him knowing.
"I've only been here about ten minutes but I think Walter's been watching since you started." Her son was too easy to scare. A simple thing like Dampening your presence shouldn't scare him this much.
Ok so he was living with people that could kill him six different ways and he would never know they were even there until he dropped dead. No nothing scary about that at all.
Walter detached himself from the shadows and walked (more like glided) over to where Ranma was currently standing.
"Young master would you care to spar with me? I would really like to see what you're capable of."
If Walter had suggested such a thing at the Tendo dojo he would have jumped at the chance, but now that he's observed him for a while now he wasn't so confident that he'd win.
"Alright let's see what you've got." Saotome school tenant #2 try to psych out your opponent.
And then it began. Walter was in his face faster than you could say 'eep' and it was on. Punches and kicks flew fast and furious. Several times Ranma 'felt' Walter move one way only to painfully find out that he'd moved the other way. Amagouriken speed punches rained down on him but Walter either blocked or dodged most of them. Some of them hit however and staggered him. He came back strong with a vicious right cross that Ranma blocked, but that was only a feint for the front kick that tossed him to the other side of the dojo. Walter wiped the small trickle of blood that was seeping from his lip. He then stood to full height and bowed towards Ranma.
"Well fought young master."
"Yeah you weren't so bad yourself, do you think you could teach me some of that stuff you were doing there."
"Of course, however most of my tricks were not quite enough to bring the win. I honestly don't know how much I can teach you." He bowed his head to look at the ground. "I'm not really a fighter just a servant."
He wasn't a fighter! Oh wow for not being a fighter he could fight better than most people back in Nerima.
"Don't trouble yourself Walter do you remember Tisus?" Seeing him nod she continued. "He owes me a favour or two I think he could give Ranma a lesson or two."
"Yes Tisus or his brother Remus could give him some instruction. Also Elder Cologne will be here for a while before she returns to her village I'm sure she would be willing to train him for a while."
All this talk of training was getting him excited. New techniques a martial artists dream, and he didn't have to fight, beg, or be tortured to get them.
It was around this time that the evil wizard snuck up on him and dumped a whole dump truck full of sleep dust into the dojo. As everyone was climbing out of the piles of dust and cursing the neighbors, the sleeping sand finally kicked in. Since Ranma was at least partially resistant to the drugs he was able to carry his mother and Walter into the house. Walter he dropped on the floor because honestly his ass was heavy. He made it to his mother's room and unceremoniously dropped her on her bed. By now his resistance to the sleep drug had worn down to pretty much nothing. Looking at the door then looking back at the floor then at the door again.
"Ahh fuck it." he said then face planted onto the floor.
The next morning when he woke up he found that he was face down on his bed in a pair of pajamas. The last thing he remembered was passing out fully clothed. If that's true who put him to bed? There were only two suspects neither of which thrilled him.
Walking downstairs still in the pajamas his nose caught the scent of something good cooking in the kitchen. Wandering in he saw his mom standing over a stove cooking up a storm.
"Mom what are you up to?" rhetorical question to break the ice.
"Cooking breakfast dear. Why don't you go upstairs and get changed."
Seeing as he wasn't going to be getting anything out of her right now he decided to get out of the pajamas then grill his mother.
At least he didn't end up naked in the middle of a pack of wolves. That happened one too many times with his father.
As soon as he was out of sight Nodoka pulled a stoppered flask from her kimono. She pulled the cork out and dumped the entire contents into his orange juice.
When he got to his room he found that a set of clothes was already laid out for him. Unfortunately it was a school uniform. He had a really really bad feeling about this.
He got dressed quickly in the uniform that his mother had put out for him. He returned downstairs to find that breakfast had been laid out for him. He sat down and started wolfing down as much food as he could. Breakfast was much like supper last night as in it wasn't traditional. There were sausages and eggs with pancakes. It was traditional western fare which was so not what his mother was supposed to be like.
"So I guess I've got to go to school?" Please no please no please no.
"Of course you do. I've got all of your supplies. You still haven't been transferred yet but that should be done in a couple of days. Now hurry up you don't want to be late."
"Thnks mm." He choked out around the remains of his food.
"Don't forget to finish your orange juice dear." She called out
He chugged the glass down. It was terrible but not so bad that he wanted to spit it up.
"Hey mom you really should pitch that orange juice, I think it's gone bad."
"Sorry about that dear, I'll have Walter go to the store and get some fresh orange juice today." Internally she was cheering soon she'd have her son back.
Ranma rushed out the door grabbing his obento and bag on the way out. When he got to the gate he jumped over it and then came to a screeching halt. He had no idea how to get to school. True to form Walter materialized about a foot behind his left ear.
"Do you need some assistance young master?"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaa" Ranma predictably jumped 15 feet in the air.
"Don't DO that!" Screamed Ranma. If he was a c c c c that thing he would have lost two of his lives already.
"Come on young master we've got to run if you want to make it to school on time."
As they took off with Ranma following Walter he noted that he didn't have to strain to keep up the ridiculous pace. They passed by a couple of blonds one of which had a stupid hairdo. Walter veered off as they approached the school and waved goodbye to Ranma. Ranma himself continued on towards the school doors putting on an extra burst of speed and making it into the building before the first late bell rung.
"Ok class I know this is strange but we have a new student today."
There were some murmurs. Transferring in halfway through the school year was rare. Ms Haruna ignored the murmurs and continued.
"His name is Ranma Saotome and he's transferring in from Furinken High school in the Nerima district."
Now that raised a commotion. Nerima was strange and interesting therefore anybody from Nerima should have piles of interesting stories, nothing like the boring monster attacks here in Juuban.
At that moment a youth with dusty blond hair walked into the classroom. He was wearing a school uniform and carrying his lunch and bag in one hand. His pigtail hung down the back of his head. Most of the girls started drooling, some were openly staring while drooling, and a select few were writing up their wedding plans while drooling. (Ok it was only two girls who were doing this but Usagi and Ami couldn't really be blamed could they?)
"Hello my name's Ranma Saotome heir to the Saotome school of anything goes martial arts." He bowed.
"Alright Ranma you can sit over by Ami by the window." When he was seated she continued. "Alright everybody turn to page 53."
During the day Ranma found that he was not tired and as such he was able to stay awake through all of his classes. Maybe what his mom said about the bed was true. Could it be that all he needed was a good night sleep? Either that or take away all the crazies keeping him awake at all hours and his old man throwing him into the koi pond for 'training' at 5 in the morning.
Lunch at Juuban was quite different from lunch at Furinken. There were quite a few girls looking to talk to him. He wasn't quite stupid enough to not know what they wanted to talk to him about. He hid in a convenient tree and ate his lunch. As with all of the meals before it this one was western. A sandwich with some pudding and milk in a thermos. He ate everything quickly and then waited for the lunch bell to ring before he sprinted across the yard and jumped into the open window of his classroom. He got a few stares but for the most part people ignored him.
The rest of the school day passed without incident. Several of the girls in the classroom tried to pass notes to him but were caught and sent out into the hall for their trouble.
Meanwhile in another ward.
The cat cafe was hopping and this time it wasn't because of business. There was a closed sign on the door and a large moving truck was out front. Inside a duck was quacking incessantly from it's cage trying to get out. Men were moving large boxes and trunks to the truck outside. Most of the boxes were marked China however some of them were marked as containing Shampoo. The moving men were trying to figure out how they could possibly use so much shampoo. Sure the purple haired chick would use quite a bit but not as much as what was in those boxes.
"Aiyah great grandmother Shampoo all packed now ready to go to airen's house."
"Very good granddaughter. The Saotome's servant should be here soon to take us to their house."
"Shampoo very happy finally get airen." Shampoo was vibrating with anticipation. "Just think that stupid Mousse try interfere again ruin Shampoo's chance." The duck quacked as if to indicate an affirmative.
"Don't worry granddaughter he won't be allowed anywhere near you or son-in- law." She cackled a bit. Shampoo, Mousse and the moving men shuddered at the sound.
"Hello any old wrinkled mummies in here?" Called out a cheerful voice.
Said cheerful voice was immediately smacked on the head with a walking stick. "Mind your elders boy!" Cologne was not really upset she just wouldn't take any lip from this kitten.
Walter rubbed the spot where she smacked him. "Yeah yeah grannie, you guys ready to go?"
"Yes we're all packed." Most of the stuff here is going back to China (all of the dangerous stuff was stored in her weapons space. She would only stay another few months to make sure Shampoo was well settled and to teach her a few things before she would have to return to the village and try to explain why Shampoo would not be returning.
"Well then shall we go?" He opened the door and led everybody outside to the car. Mousse was still in his cage when one of the moving men picked it up. On the top of the cage was a sticker denoting the destination as Bolivia.
The ride to the Saotome residence was uneventful. Also the unloading of Shampoo's and Cologne's things also went off without a hitch. By the time everything was said and done school was over.
Walking home Ranma noticed a tall girl with long brown hair following him. He turned around but kept walking backwards.
"Can I help you?" Ranma was a bit curious as to who she was.
"Umm you wouldn't be Ranma Saotome would you?" She seemed a bit hesitant.
"Yeah." Ok yellow alert.
"Mrs. Saotome's son?" she seemed a bit more confident now.
"Yeah..." Red alert all hands to battle stations.
"Oh wow Auntie Saotome's told me lots of stories about you!" So he was real Auntie's not as crazy as she once thought.
"Umm you wouldn't happen to be Makoto Kino would you?" Tall, very pretty, big breasts. Wouldn't be too bad, now if she could only cook...
"Yup that's me! How'd you know?"
"Mom told me a bit about you." Yeah like you're my brand spanking new fiancée.
"So do you know why Auntie asked me to come over today? She wouldn't tell me just that it was a surprise."
"I've got an idea or two but nothing quite certain." yeah surprise this guy's going to be your loving husband no go off and make babies. Oh yes can't forget this other chick here is going to be sharing him with you. Have a nice day.
As they rounded the corner they noticed a moving truck pulling away from the Saotome residence. When they got to the door they were greeted by Walter. He ushered them into the study where Mrs. Saotome along with Cologne and Shampoo were already waiting. Nodoka was dressed in an extremely loose outfit, it looked about two sizes too big for her.
"Ahh good you're here, before we begin Mako chan I'd like you to do something for me." She picked up a small stoppered flask from the desk behind her. "I'd like you to drink this please."
"What is it Auntie?" Ok the crazy meter was going off the scale now. Sure Auntie was 'eccentric' but getting her to drink wierd 'magic' potions wasn't normal even for Auntie.
"Don't worry it won't hurt you, actually it is to undo something that was done to you when you were only a baby. Ranma already drank his this morning and it's finished it's work with no ill effects."
"Whaddya mean drank it this morning.."
"There was nothing wrong with the orange juice dear."
"Aiyah Shampoo wonder why airen dye hair."
"Dye my hair what?" He pulled his pigtail over his shoulder to look at it. Sure enough it was a dirty blond colour. "Hey what the????"
"Don't worry Ranma you were born with blond hair it's just the potion you were given as a baby changed your hair colour to black. Now Makoto if you would please drink that then I can get on with my explanation."
Deciding that it couldn't do anymore harm she pulled off the cork and slammed it back. Who knows maybe she might look good as a blond.
Nodoka looked relieved for some reason.
"Ok now that that's done I can get to telling you exactly what that was for." She took a deep breath. "Long ago the world was filled with magic, dragons, elves, magical kingdoms were the norm. From these times the Lycanthrope race was created. Werewolves, tigers, rats, panthers, ravens etc came to power. They served the good queen Serendipity, however some of them got greedy and joined the forces of darkness. Sadly to say that that was the end of the era. The remaining lycanthropes used their magic to flee to a different world taking their magic with them. The world was plunged into darkness until man found technology and rebuilt the world. Not all of the magical creatures fled though, some decided to stay behind. Some of them were hunted by the humans, others warred among themselves. Such is the tale of the werewolves and the werecheetahs." She paused to take a drink of water.
"The cheetahs and the wolves have been fighting amongst each other for over 500 years. About 20 years ago the werewolves invited the werecheetahs to live with them in peace. The werecheetah's who were tired of war decided to take them up on the offer." She sighed and looked down.
"It was a trap. The werewolves and werecheetahs annihilated each other that day. Out of the dead the werecheetahs were the worst off with only four survivors. There were only forty werewolves left after the battle." Under her breath "About ten now."
"Umm that's a great story mom but what does it have to do with us?" Ranma didn't like where this was going.
"It has everything to do with us. You see dear I was on a diplomatic meeting with the Amazons when the wolves attacked."
Time stopped as she seemed to shift and grow. Her loose outfit stretched as she grew to fit it. muscles buldged and hair grew. Her ears shifted so that they were near the top of her head. When it was done werecheetah Nodoka was standing in front of them.
"I am a werecheetah."
The results were not what she was expecting.
"Ahhhhhh CAT!!!" As he practiced the Saotome cling to the ceiling technique.
"Monster! Jupiter planet power make up!"
"Aiyah!" Sching! Sching being the sound of a Chinese scimitar being drawn.
"Umm oh my." This was definitely not how things were supposed to happen.
Somewhere in the background an ancient Amazon elder and manservant were laughing their asses off.
Authors notes:
I'm terribly sorry again for this. It grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go until I wrote at least the first chapter or so. Don't worry though Cat's Tale is next on my to write list.