PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.

Oh my god. You all have my deepest and sincerest apologies for how much I've been neglecting this. Sophomore year has proven to be an evil bitch, and while I'm sure I'll get into the swing of things eventually, the workload has been pretty bad. Also, because I apparently hate myself and the feeling of having free time, I did NaNoWriMo this November, which burned me out for a good long time. Basically, updates will be few and far between for a good long while now, and I am so, so sorry. I'll still work on this whenever I have the chance, but a bad case of writers block really isn't helping.

Well, with all that unhappy shit out of the way, lets move on to the chapter!

~o~

(Former) Hogwarts High Inquisitor Dolores Umbridge was very, very cold. She pulled her knit pink sweater tighter around herself, but it provided little protection against the freezing temperatures, and the wind seemed to blow right through her. A penguin waddled up to her, watching her with fascination. She glared at it. Stupid animal. How dare it gape brainlessly at her like that?

The penguin took a few more steps, staring up at her with big orange eyes, and nuzzled against her leg. No. Stop. Stupid creature.

~o~

"Believe it or not," Sam said with a distinct note of uncertainty in his tone that gave away the telling fact that even he didn't believe it, "there is a reasonable explanation for all of this."

Dumbledore glanced up from where he was inspecting the dead angel, twenty-foot ashy wings burned into the floor beneath its body, with the assistance of Madame Pomfrey. The rest of the teachers hovering were nervously behind them, the students having been shepherded hurriedly back to their common rooms after the initial panicked outburst. "I should hope so. I want to know the whole story, and I suspect that we'll have to think of something to tell the students, as all this had the misfortune to occur before their eyes."

Sam winced. Dean was behind him tending to Cas, which left him the job of explaining everything. It was probably good, because between them he was the better one at that particular task. Still, he wasn't looking forward to laying out the whole heavenly mess.

He sighed and began. "Okay. So. That was an angel, but not a good one like Cas over there. Right now, the angels are being run by this lady named Naomi, who is..."

He trailed off, trying to find a good word for it.

"-an evil brainwashing bitch," Dean said succinctly from behind him, an edge of anger still obvious in his voice. Clearly, he wasn't about to let go of what happened to Cas anytime soon.

"Yeah, that," Sam agreed.

One of the teachers, one Sam hadn't met yet, frowned. "I do hope you don't use language like that in front of the students," she muttered under her breath, but neither the Winchesters nor Dumbledore reacted.

"And angels aren't exactly fluffy wings, harps and Hallmark cards," Dean continued. "Most of them are feathery douchebags who only care about themselves and their damn destiny instead of actually helping humans."

"Aside from Cas," Sam chipped in, picking up the thread of explanation again. "He's got this tablet that's basically got a bunch of information on angels, so obviously both the angels and the demons want it."

"Will any more be coming?" Dumbledore asked immediately. "Will the students be in danger?"

Dean scoffed. "They're always in danger, you built your school next to something called the Forbidden freaking Forest-"

"Not helping, Dean," Sam muttered before raising his voice slightly to address the assembled teachers again. "It's possible there will be more, though I don't think the one Dean killed had time to get the message out. If there are, we take full responsibility for protecting your school from them."

He hesitated, then added, "If you want us to leave, we will."

Dumbledore stared at him for a moment, then turned away to speak with a few of the other teachers in hushed voices.

"What do we do if they kick us out?" Dean asked. "Go back to the bunker? Cas isn't in any state to poof us back there, and all the angels and demons know where it is anyways."

Sam grimaced. "I don't know, okay? We'll figure something out."

From his spot on the floor, Cas frowned, too. "I'm sorry for causing trouble. I was hopeful that we hadn't been followed here."

Dean pivoted on his heel and pointed at the angel. "Don't apologize for almost getting murdered, Cas!"

Cas opened his mouth, looking like he was about to object, when Dumbledore politely cleared his throat and all three heads swiveled to face him where he was smiling kindly at them, clearly having come to a decision.

~o~

"I can't believe he didn't fire us," Sam said later, half-distracted by a heavy book that he was working his way through.

"Yeah, like you helped," Dean grumbled from where he was glaring at Meg, who in turn was wrapping a clean white bandage around Cas's neck. "'If you want us to leave, we will?' Where would we even go, man?"

"Didn't your mommy ever tell you your face will get stuck like that?" Meg finally snapped in response to Dean's scowl. "Oh, wait."

Dean started to his feet, snarling, "You black-eyed bitch-"

Sam grabbed his brother's arm and yanked him bodily back into the chair. "Not now, Dean."

Dean strained against the hold for a moment before slumping against the chair like a puppet with cut strings.

"Anyway," Sam said, attempting to steer the conversation back towards their earlier argument. "You really want a bunch of witches convinced that we're dangerous to their students? If they did kick us out, it would be best to go quietly instead of protesting. They still have magic."

"Good point," Dean admitted, before twisting around to look at Cas. "Hey, Cas. You feeling better."

"Yes," the angel rumbled, then, softer, "thank you, Dean."

"Hey, don't mention it."

~o~

Harry Potter had no idea what was going on.

On the one hand, the cautious hope that Umbridge might really be gone made him feel almost dizzy with happiness, but on the other hand... what on in the name of Merlin's beard had happened?

All of the students had been shepherded out of the Great Hall after the shocked silence finally snapped, and many of them hadn't gotten very good looks at what had happened (it had been so fast) but Harry was positive he'd seen the shorter Professor Winchester kill the stranger who'd just stormed into Hogwarts- itself unheard of, due to all the wards and protections on the school.

On the upside, at least they'd won the first Quidditch game of the year.

There was a thump from outside the window, and a moment later Ron came running into the common room.

"Harry! Harry, Hagrid's back!"