Marinette's parents were away for their anniversary today. Marinette was home alone today. Marinette needed backup. Luckily, Alya was just a phone call away and seemed more than happy to keep her company and help run the bakery.

The day had been going pretty good. They helped a few people buy some cakes, spent an hour trying to get past this one level of angry birds, and they did about 5 minutes of homework before deciding they'd rather be doing literally anything else. Things seemed perfect. For a second, Marinette forgot that anything was wrong in her world.

Her peace was short-lived.

"Hello, I'd like to place an order".

"Yes, of course, what would you like?"

"Are you on the menu?"

Marinette turned around to see none other than Cat Noir standing on the other side of the desk. Her mind raced. She wasn't sure what to do. Should she act innocent? Come up with a sassy retort? Punch him in the face? The last two seemed the most fun, especially that third and final one, but she decided to keep up appearances and stick with the lesser transgression.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid we've run out of fucks to give. You'll need to come back later."

"Oh, so I should come back tomorrow? Marinette, do you yearn for my presence so? Do I appear in your dreams?"

"Oh, yes, you do, but you never seem to make it out of those dreams with all your limbs attached, it's strange."

"Why, it must be because you know how I would gladly give my life to keep you happy."

"And yet you can't do something as simple as leaving me alone?"

"A life without you is a fate worse than death."

"Oh, so you'd go against a lady's wishes for your own satisfaction? My, my. And here I thought you fancied yourself a gentleman."

"I fancy myself fancied by you."

"Well, good luck with tha-"

Aaaaaaaaand Cat was kissing her. She was, somehow, currently leaning over the counter (which she was not last time she checked), and Cat was planting his lips on hers. It took a second to register; She wasn't used to getting kissed, so she didn't recognize it immediately. When she finally figured out what he was doing, she jumped back and made a sound somewhere between the cry of a dying lemur and the noise you make while gurgling mouthwash. Cat stood there awkwardly for a bit before slowly backing out, his mouth making various motions as he tried to come up with something witty to say. When he couldn't think of anything, he just smiled smugly and flippantly saluted her before dashing out the door, hyperventilating.

Marinette turned around to see Alya, her phone out, recording the entire scene. Before Marinette could open her mouth, Alya was already out the door.

"You'll never take me alive!"

Marinette wanted to feel betrayed, but she honestly she was too shocked by what just happened. After regaining her composure, she tried willing Alya's phone into her pocket. It had worked before, but alas, nothing.

The video apparently made it onto the ladyblog by the next morning, because everyone was staring and whispering to each other when she walked in the room. Everyone except Alya, that is. She went straight up to Marinette with that shit-eating grin etched onto her face.

"I bet Adrien's getting pretty jealous, don't you think?"

Marinette said nothing. She simply sat down in her seat. She just wanted this to be over. She wasn't exactly sure how it'd end, but she figured she'd spend as little time paying attention to it as possible until it sorted itself out.

Adrien had different plans.

"Hey, Marinette, I saw what Alya posted on the ladyblog. I saw that thing that happened between you and Cat Noir."

Marinette's head snapped up to look at Adrien. Adrien was talking to her. She didn't realize until now how much she needed Adrien to talk to her. She needed something to wash all that Cat Noir out of her system. Oh god, he was blushing. Oh god, was Alya right? Was he about to confess? Was he-

"I just really wanted you to know that I think you and Cat Noir make a great couple."

And with that, Marinette broke.

Her face went blank. She was nothing. She sat there, staring into the abyss for a solid 10 minutes. Then, part way through class, she got up without a word and walked out of the room. She walked out of the school. But try as she might've, she couldn't walk out of reality.

On her way to try to get anywhere besides where she was, she ran into Cat. She responded to his presence by punching him in the face and then continuing on as if he didn't exist. He existed regardless.

She walked a few more paces before losing all her remaining will, falling face-first onto the concrete sidewalk. She began gently sobbing as Cat Noir made strange groaning noises in the background.

The next thing she remembered, she was in Alya's house, watching project runway reruns with a vat of ice cream in her lap, and three days had passed.

She didn't know what this emotion filling her chest was. She didn't know where the pieces went when she broke, or if she could ever be put back together. All she knew is that she was no longer the Marinette Dupein Chang that woke up the morning of that fateful day, and that she would never be able to return to the perfect life she once knew.

Gabriel Agreste glared at the full moon dramatically. The glass of scotch in his hand shattered under the pressure of his grip. Trembling, he grasped the edge of the balcony and attempted to bring words to the primordial passion he felt ever since he saw that video.

"I swear upon my dignity as a father... I will destroy Cat Noir".