Chapter 32

Ana just sat, staring unseeing, at her Aunt's still form. It was taking an extraordinary amount of effort to keep her thoughts even remotely quiet.

Force, she nearly wanted to feel nothing again in that moment.

She forced herself to swallow, reminding herself to blink even a few drops of moisture back into her dry eyes. It was a monumental effort to keep her mind blank, clear. Calm. But she knew she had to. She had only barely kept it together back on the base, coming a hair's breadth away from losing control completely and fracturing apart. It was only thanks to Poe pushing her to open up, even a little, that had eased some of the pressure building within her from everything she'd been feeling; her uncle's dea—his murder, the resurgence of memories she'd been fighting to keep hidden…the news that there was finally a way to find her father…

…sensing her mother's presence for the first time since That Night…

…opening herself up to the Force again…

All of it still lingered, simmering below the surface. Telling Poe some of it back on D'Qar had helped, but not enough to entirely diminish the power it all had over her.

And to now have come so close to losing her Aunt too?

As she had said when Poe had finally managed to talk her around to letting Leia go so the med-techs could see to her: She's the only family I have left. Then she'd buried her face against his neck and just shook.

But she hadn't broken down. Not yet. It was still very much a possibility, though. She'd fought the urge back when MD-15C had apprised her and Poe of the General's condition; still serious, given her exposure to the harshness of space, but no longer critical and slowly improving even if she was still comatose for reasons the droid couldn't wholly explain. It had helped then that both the medical droid and Poe had both marveled that Leia had survived at all. Ana, however, dazed as she'd sill felt, hadn't been nearly so bewildered.

"The Force," she'd said, interrupting them. Both the droid and the pilot had looked to her in bewilderment, but she'd barely noticed. She'd just kept talking, working through the reasoning to herself more than anything else as she'd pulled the stool she still sat on even now up to her Aunt's bedside. "Instinct. She's Luke's twin and just as powerful. She just never learned to harness it as he did…her subconscious must have drawn on it—keeping her alive, preserving her mind, her body long enough that she could...instinctively pull herself back to the ship…putting herself into this…this stasis to heal…"

It had given her something to focus on. Something to puzzle through.

And for a time, at least, it had helped.

But then everything she had fought so hard to repress for so long started to press against her again, edging like a cold draft into her chest.

Why did this keep happening? Was she destined to lose everyone she cared about? Leia was the only family she had left. She fought to swallow back a sob, but the effort wasn't enough. A ragged, gasping sound tore from her throat, and she curled in on herself, pressing her forehead against her Aunt's knuckles, caught as her hand was in Ana's careful yet tight grip. She struggled to focus on the fact that while Leia's skin was cool, it wasn't cold and her pulse still thrummed, slow but steady beneath her skin. There was still life there, she reminded herself firmly, her eyes squeezing shut. There was still hope.

And then there it was. A whisper. A brush of breeze against not just her cheek but her mind. And she felt it. She could feel it around her.

She could sense Leia.

She was still there, her spirit fighting.

Only…that wasn't all she felt. It was…like a whisper, but not. Something beyond hearing, something she felt deep down, nearly in the centre of her being.

Something familiar.

Her very soul ached at how familiar.

Leia was calling to her from wherever she'd gone.

And so was her mother.

And they both echoed the deep, wordless call from her Force dreams.

They were both pushing her to go.

It was then that it hit her. Without intending to, Ana had tapped into the Force. And she was letting it reassure her…letting it show her not all was lost. She couldn't breathe, couldn't process. She just heard.

A hand brushed against her shoulder then. Ana nearly jumped out of her skin, twisting around.

And it was gone. Shut off again like a blast door had slammed down across the connection as her instincts to close off snapped back into place. And the wave of vulnerability fled in the wake of the interruption. It was gone so fast and so completely that the feeling itself faded, fleeing from her conscious thoughts like water between her fingers.

"Ana?" Poe asked softly, his hand comforting and warm as he gently squeezed her shoulder. She frowned, reaching after the murky sense of connection that had fled the instant he'd touched her shoulder. But it was gone, like a shadow in mist. Shaking her head, she lifted her focus to Poe, taking in his drawn features as he glanced down to the General.

At once guilt twisted in her gut. She'd been ignoring him and yet here he was, still at her and Leia's side, still worrying about them both.

"How's she doing," he asked softly. Ana lifted a hand to his, squeezing in silent thanks. The corner of his lip tugged.

"The same," she admitted quietly. "She's improving, but there's still no sign of her waking up, yet." Sedately he nodded. She looked up to him, taking in the set of his jaw and the distant look in his eyes. She frowned.

"What's going on?" He looked back to her at her question, grinning in an approximation of his usual carefree smile. But it didn't quite have the same effect. She knew him too well. He squeezed her shoulder.

"It's nothing. A briefing," he assured her, "this is more important; you being with your Aunt." His expression grew momentarily serious. "You've been put through enough." She wasn't quite sure whether to be touched or annoyed. When he didn't volunteer anything further despite her pointed scrutiny, she scoffed, feeling a bit like her regular self. They weren't exactly in a situation where she could afford to just sit back and do nothing.

Especially since she was effectively the highest-ranked pilot in the Corps, now that Poe had been demoted. She blinked at the idea that she might now effectively be the Resistance's new Wing Commander. If that wasn't a heavy thought…not that they really had any fighters for her or her pilots to command, just now… Which meant if there was to be a briefing…

"Oh, for—dammit, Poe, I'm not about to break," Ana snapped without real bite. A light huff of a chuckle escaped him, his expression fond and his eyes laughing as he looked down at her.

"No, you're not," he ceded with a grin; though she didn't entirely miss the relief that flashed across his face or the deep, steadying breath he drew in before continuing. "A briefing's been called in the Battle Bridge for what Command personnel we have left. Word is to go over next steps…including who's going to take up the reins until the General's back on her feet." Ana let out a loaded breath. Okay, that was a big deal. And not surprising, really. Their situation was dire, after all. What little Poe had passed on since Ana had holed herself up with her Aunt once MD-15C and his assistants had finished their work had made that perfectly clear.

The Fleet was holding just out of effective range of the Star Destroyers. But that was a temporary situation; eventually they were going to run out of fuel. Not the Flame, perhaps, as Ana knew the red corvette had been fully fuelled on her orders before lifting off from D'Qar. But neither the Raddus, the Ninka or the Anodyne had had the time to do the same before the First Order had dropped on them. The Vigil had been in slightly better shape, but the cargo-conversion cruiser had been destroyed within moments of Snoke's ship starting its attack. Her gut clenched slightly at the thought. They couldn't afford to lose a single ship, and already they'd lost one, complete with crew and cargo.

Then there was also the fact that they had no fighters left after Kylo Ren's attack had destroyed the fighter bay…and that most of their Leadership was now gone…

Ana glanced down to Leia. As touched as she knew her Aunt would be by her vigil, Ana knew she would be far more satisfied to see Ana doing what she could to help the Resistance make it out of their current predicament. And the way to do that?

"When does it start?" Poe looked over to the chrono reading tucked off to the side of Leia's medical cocoon.

"Not for another half-hour or so," he answered. Ana nodded. After another moment looking down at her Aunt's peaceful face, she gave the older woman's hand a final squeeze and stood, turning to Poe.

"We should head down, then," she said. He hesitated, lifting his other hand so that he had a hand settled on each of her shoulders.

"You're sure? I can update you on everything that's said, Adyé." She huffed, appreciating the offer but shaking her head at it nonetheless. No matter that part of her very much did want to take him up on it, she was motivated more by what she knew her Aunt would think.

"It's like you don't know me at all, Dameron," she goaded, poking him in the ribs. He chuckled, lifting his hands from her shoulders to raise them in surrender.

"There are times, My Lady," he said teasingly back. A small laugh caught in Ana's throat, her chest cramping. His grin faltered, concern once again rising to his face.

"Adyé? What is it?" She shook her head, clearing away the trace of melancholy the playful honorific had brought out in her. She attempted to reassure him with a smile. It only partially worked. It was then that she recalled how surprisingly good it had felt to talk to him and, despite her long-ingrained instinct to clam up, she forced out what had dampened her mood.

"My—father used to call my mother that. My Lady," she clarified at Poe's questioning brow. Her hand rising to close around her mother's necklace, she looked down toward the pendant in her grip, not quite seeing it as her voice grew inadvertently nostalgic. "She hated being called that…except when my father used it. She always just pretended it annoyed her when he did it." Poe smiled at the memory, stepping closer to run his hands up her arms. Absently, her free hand rose to rest on his waist.

"It'll get easier, you know," he said softly. She looked up to him, her features growing questioning this time. "Talking about her. Memories of her" Ana inhaled, her gaze dropping to his chest. Where they fell to the chain that disappeared beneath the collar of his shirt; the one that held his mother's wedding ring. He laid a finger beneath her chin, nudging her gaze up to meet his earnest one. "You just need to keep talking about her, and eventually it stops hurting so much and it just starts to feel…good again." Her throat threatened to close up. And once again guilt stung at her; she knew he'd lost both his parents too, his mother as a child and his father shortly before he'd joined the Resistance. She should have remembered that, of just about anyone, he would understand at least a little the hole losses like that left.

She could only nod, instead leaning forward to wrap her arms around him.

"Thank you, Poe," she murmured. Something tight deep in her chest began to loosen as he hugged her back.

"You're welcome," he breathed against her temple. It was a soothing, tender moment. One she didn't want to end. But end it did. Eventually, he pulled away, pausing only to brush a kiss against her temple.

"C'mon," he said, his tone reverting back to its usual lively cast. "We have a briefing to get to."

A briefing that was…not as inspiring as they might have hoped. Then again, there wasn't a whole lot of good news to be had, so Ana wasn't entirely certain why she was surprised. Commander D'Acy had provided a sober yet succinct update on their current situation—including Leia's condition and the losses they had sustained when the bridge had been hit—before introducing their next in command, Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo.

Who, despite a background in politics and a way with words that Ana knew was on par with her Aunt's, didn't quite manage to inspire a great deal of optimism in the gathered Resistance personnel.

Though, that might have been more a reflection on the situation rather than the Vice Admiral. That and the fact that very few of the assembled personnel on the Raddus had ever seen her before, much less served under her.

Ana had only met her in passing a couple times, but she knew the Admiral was a personal friend of her Aunt's, their relationship going all the way back to their days in the Imperial Youth Legislature before Leia had been appointed Alderaan's Senator. She knew the woman was sharp, driven and deeply committed to the Resistance just as she had been to the Rebellion years before. Not to mention a tactician of the highest calibre, as her record easily implied, and well respected by her crew on the Ninka. She knew her Aunt trusted the Gatalentian Admiral implicitly.

But Ana had never directly served with Holdo, which truthfully left her feeling a little uneasy. She had grown used to having at least an inclination of how her commanders thought, of having a read on who they were as well as how they led.

With Holdo, she had none of that. She could barely read the woman at all; she had an impeccable composure that might even have rivalled the one she had known her mother to wear when among strangers or those she didn't like or trust. And Ana had to admit the older woman did have a way with words.

Which might have admittedly been part of the problem. She was almost...too composed. Too polished. Were she in the Senate right then? Speaking to politicians with her crisp rhetoric and poised, carefully calculated delivery?

Ana wouldn't have been surprised if she would've had them all eating out of her hand.

But she was not speaking to politicians. She was speaking to troops who'd just suffered a critical blow and were now trapped in a situation with no clear way out. They didn't want platitudes. They wanted a plan. A plan that Holdo didn't seem inclined to share just yet. Understandable, perhaps, but nevertheless not terribly encouraging given the current situation.

Which meant Holdo's well-spoken if vague assurances and poised demeanor did little to inspire confidence in light of their dire circumstances. and when considering that she almost seemed just a little too controlled, a little too aloof on top of that? After the approachability and familiarity Leia always seemed to possess despite the unquestionable authority she always embodied?

Well, Holdo certainly wasn't Leia. That was for sure.

And it was clear that that fact alone was leaving everyone unsettled.

Poe not least of all.

She had seen the way he'd shifted when D'Acy had announced it was Holdo due to step up in Leia's absence, and the deeply thoughtful yet veiled look that had overtaken his usually open features. Just as she could see the uncertainty and unease he was working to tamp down as he glanced around the small cluster of pilots that had congregated around the pair of them, watching as the briefing broke up around them. Finally, he leaned in toward her, still watching the Vice Admiral with poorly disguised wariness. Ana automatically leaned in as well.

"That's Admiral Holdo?" he said under his breath. Mostly. On his other side, C'ai Threnalli glanced in Poe's direction, the faintly skeptical look in his face betraying his thoughts were in line with Poe's. "Battle of Chyron Belt, Admiral Holdo?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance to her, but Ana was watching the Vice Admiral just as he had been. She was speaking quietly with Commander D'Acy.

"You've never met her before, have you," she asked under her breath. Not that she needed an answer. That he hadn't was painfully clear. Absently Poe shook his head no.

"Not what I expected," he admitted.

Ana turned to Poe with an incredulous frown. "And just what were you expecting?" Poe started at her tone, then shrugged.

"Don't know. Someone a little more Admiral-ish? Not so…politician-y?" Ana raised a skeptical brow at him.

"Considering that she was on track to become an Imperial Senator before the Emperor scrapped the system in favour of Governors? You do know she's an Alliance veteran, right? And that The General recruited her personally…just like everyone else here?" Even as she gestured around the room to emphasize her point, confusion crossed his features for a moment before realization replaced it.

"You've met her, haven't you." She didn't even have to nod in response. "Probably should've figured that, huh. Has she always been like…this?" he asked with a vague gesture. Ana suppressed a sigh, shrugging.

"It was a while ago. Years, even. Even then she was…hard to read." He made a vaguely understanding sound deep in his throat, leaning back slightly, beginning to look somewhat puzzled as he studied the Admiral from their seat. She could understand the impulse. She was doing the same thing, still trying to get a read on the older woman. After a moment he made an unsatisfied sound before speaking up again.

"Still…I expected someone a little more…" She shot him another blatantly skeptical look as he trailed off.

"More…" she prompted dryly when he didn't continue. Wisely he winced, shooting her an apologetic look before clarifying.

"Well, a little more like the General, to be honest. Like I said, she doesn't exactly look like a Resistance Admiral."

"And the General always looks like a general?" He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Point taken." And then he was on his feet and heading for Holdo before Ana could stop him, completely ignoring her hissed admonishment to stop. Groaning and exchanging an exasperated glance with C'ai, she stood and followed, hoping he wasn't about to walk himself right into a neat little hole.

He was already on thin ice as it was. And with what little she did know about Holdo? She was not likely to have been impressed by Poe's decisions during the dreadnought attack. Even less so than Leia had been, and she knew her Aunt had a soft spot for the dashing Commander…Captain… Currently indisposed as Leia was or not, she rather suspected Poe's demotion still stood. Not that Poe seemed to have remembered as much given how she heard him introducing himself to the Vice Admiral as Ana fought her way through the milling personnel after him.

Sure enough, Holdo barely seemed inclined to give Poe the time of day, politely if condescendingly brushing him off as Ana finally made it over to them.

Unfortunately, it was also precisely the sort of response that Ana knew was going to get under Poe's skin. As predicted, Ana could just see Poe bristle. Internally she groaned. This already wasn't going well. Naturally, Poe wasn't deterred, no matter that Ana silently begged for him to take the hint Holdo's dismissal had been. But he was still in the mindset of a Wing Commander and wasn't about to be so easily brushed aside. Not to mention he was far too stubborn at times, she lamented silently.

"And we need to shake 'em before we can find a new base," he answered back with a similar shade of condescension to his tone as the Admiral had used. "So…what's our plan?" Holdo finally looked to Poe and Ana was unable to hold back a soft groan of dismay. The Admiral's eyes were hard even as her tone was light.

"Our plan?" she countered, beginning to move off and away from the sensor display she'd been conferring over with Commander D'Acy. Ana was torn between edging after them and keeping her distance. That the Admiral was aiming for a measure of privacy was obvious. Just as it was obvious to Ana that neither Holdo nor Poe was likely to appreciate her interference, just then. The Admiral seemed rather determined to make a point with Poe.

That became especially obvious when Holdo very bluntly reminded Poe of his demotion. Not to mention when she made her thoughts on his actions over D'Qar against the First Order perfectly clear. Clear enough to give Poe pause.

But he didn't quite seem ready to take the hint, his persistence getting the better of him. There was no mistaking that after the losses against the dreadnought, the Admiral was less than inclined to indulgence when it came to the brash pilot. She wasn't even sure that had quite gotten through to Poe, yet. And though hearing what was being said got tricky the further away they moved, there was also no mistaking the way Poe was barely restraining himself from his body language alone as he followed after the Admiral, doing his best to put on a respectful front despite the way the Admiral was obviously rubbing him the wrong way. Something Ana suspected Holdo was well aware of. She couldn't have gotten the reputation she had by being stupid, after all.

Or easily ruffled, yet Ana had a sinking feeling that Poe on the verge of pushing the Admiral too far.

"Captain, Commander, you can call me whatever you like," he retorted loud enough that Ana could hear, his frustration getting the better of him and bleeding through his attempt to maintain his own composure. "I just want to know what's going on."

Sure enough, despite the almost cheerfully gracious expression on the Admiral's face as she leaned in close, her eyes had gone cold and sharp. Ana didn't need to hear what Holdo said to know that it was anything but glowing. And it was hitting home too, at least in part. She could see it in the way Poe's shoulders began to tense and the way his eyes flashed even as his expression grew guarded.

Ana sighed, rubbing unhappily at her temple. Certainly not the encounter she had hoped for. Though honestly? Not quite as bad as she expected when she'd gone chasing after her Hotshot, either.

She'd been expecting a bit more in the way of raised voices—at least from Poe—to be honest… So it hadn't gone as badly as it could've, really.

Still, it was not an encouraging start, that was for sure. Things were already going to be tense enough with a relatively unknown Admiral at the helm. And now Holdo and Poe were butting heads? On a ship where Poe had a great deal of influence? This was very much not a good time for this…not with the situation being as dire as it was.

As Holdo left Poe to stew, Ana finally stepped forward. That Poe was agitated and frustrated was obvious as was the fact that he was a little shell-shocked by Holdo's blunt dismissal. Inhaling deeply he scratched absently at his forehead before glancing around the bridge. It was only then that he noticed Ana had come to stand next to him.

"I take it you heard that," he asked bitterly under his breath. Ana sighed.

"I didn't have to," she answered back just as quietly, taking a hold of his elbow and steering him toward the exit. "C'mon. This isn't the place." Though the expression in his eyes was nearly resentful, he nevertheless allowed her to all but push him from the battle bridge.

And mercifully, he didn't notice the nearly approving look Holdo gave Ana as the Admiral met her eye.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

I hope you all loved it!

Well, Lovelies? I'm afraid this is it for the time being. The last pre-written chapter I've got.

As I'm sure you're all aware by now, this story will be going on hiatus before it is eventually (but temporarily) pulled. But I assure you, it won't be for a while, yet! I'm not in a place to start on my 'Great Revision', as I've been affectionately calling it, yet and I have no intention to pull this story or 'retire' the other posted stories in the series until I'm well on my way to being done with not just the revision by completing this story outright.

That said, though, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Revision! I'm especially interested in hearing from my amazing readers which of the Companion One-shots (from 'Their Lady Adye') just *must* be included in the Updated versions of Lady Amalia, Lady Obscura and Lady Adye and which just *must* not. Same with which elements of the entire series you think are considered fun twists, not twisty enough. I'm looking for all the feedback I can get!

IN the meantime, May the Force be with you, Lovelies!

Happy Reading,

DLA