itle: Something's different

Slash/Mature: Don't like, don't read.

Summary: Something about Gibbs is different, but Tony just can't put his finger on it.

All mistakes are mine, this has not been proofed.

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The desk caddy-corner from him was empty, had been for hours, yet he was still staring at it intensely. Folding his arms across his chest, his eyebrows furrowed as he leaned back in his chair. For some reason he felt maybe the unoccupied desk would give him a clue to the question that had been nagging him for weeks, a question about the silver haired fox that normally occupied the desk. Something was different about Gibbs, something that Tony couldn't quite put his finger on. Gibbs was still the same old functional mute, barking orders, but there was definitely something different. At first he thought maybe Gibbs was seeing someone, but he'd quickly dismissed that thought. Gibbs had made several comments during case conversations that made it clear he wasn't seeing anyone. Plus whatever it was seemed deeper than some momentary change like dating a new woman. Although Gibbs' relationships lasted months, the women never lasted more than that. It wasn't Gibbs fault really, most women just ended up wanting more than Gibbs was willing to give. Hollis Mann was the perfect example of that scenario. Okay it probably was Gibbs fault, it's hard to give a woman more when you still haven't let go of your dead wife.

Rubbing his temples, Tony groaned inwardly. He hated that he had spent all these years around the man and still couldn't read Gibbs half the time. The man truly was an enigma.

"Tony."

The sound of his name pierced through his thoughts and he jumped looking up and seeing Gibbs standing next to his desk.

"Go home." Gibbs glanced at his watch, then back at Tony. "It's late and it's Friday, don't you have somewhere to be?"

Tony stared at his boss for a moment then shook his head realizing McGee and Bishop were already gone. He looked at his watch, already after eight. "Um yeah, I should get going." He quickly shot up and turned off his computer. Grabbing his backpack, he was just about to round the desk when he felt the hand press against his chest at his shoulder.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked it with a slightly furrowed brow.

"Yeah, I'm good." Tony nodded giving a half smile. The hand linger a moment longer then was removed.

"Okay." Gibbs returned the gesture and let Tony walk passed. He watched as the younger man waited for the elevator then stepped in with a look back. There was definitely something bothering his senior field agent, something that had been bothering the man for weeks, but for some reason Gibbs just couldn't put his finger on it. Tony had been preoccupied, lost in thought as if trying to figure something out. Gibbs let out a sigh. Normally, when Tony was ready to talk about it he would show up at the house one night, they'd have a beer and talk it out. However, that had been happening less and less lately. Gibbs tried not to take it personally, but he did wonder what was keeping Tony away. Maybe a new woman, maybe something with his dad. Gibbs shook his head. Their friendship had always been like this, ebbs and flows, months of Tony showing up a couple times a week, then a month without a visit. Walking back to his desk, Gibbs grabbed his jacket and headed towards the elevator.

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He sat on the couch, beer in hand and stared at the fireplace the flames captivating him as he still searched for an answer. Slumping back on the couch, he took a swig of his beer and sighed. This was getting ridiculous, trying to figure this out had started to consume him. He was sitting here on a Friday night trying to figure out what was different about Gibbs. He glanced up at the clock, almost two hours he'd been sitting here. Chuckling, he shook his head, not like he had anything else planned. Dating wasn't on the top of his priority list lately. After the last debacle, he realized he needed a break. Actually he realized it after things ended with Zoe, but he just couldn't face it. Putting the beer down on the coffee table he ran his hands down his face and let out a long slow breath.

"Damn it." He growled as he jumped up, clicked the fire place off, grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

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Approaching the house, Tony glanced down the road, no cars parked near the house or in the drive, so Gibbs probably didn't have any unfamiliar guests. He pulled into the drive and cut the engine. His eyes immediately glanced at the basement window. It was dark, the sign Gibbs wasn't there. Even when Gibbs fell asleep in the basement, the light was always on. There was a dim light visible through the closed living room blinds, he was probably reading on the couch. It was almost midnight; unlikely that Gibbs was asleep the man barely slept more than three or four hours. Climbing out of the car, Tony quietly closed the door and made his way to the house. He opened the front door slowly and made his way inside. He stepped towards the living room and stopped, surprised when the couch was empty. Looking toward the dining room, it was dark as was the kitchen. Turning toward the steps, he saw the soft light illuminating part of the hall way. Tony's brow furrowed. Maybe Gibbs was going through some things upstairs. Stepping gingerly he took the stairs as silently as possible pausing at the first open door where the source of the light came from. Peering into the room, Tony was visible shocked by the image before him. The bed was made and Gibbs was lying there asleep, a book lying open on his chest. He took a step forward stopping in the door frame and leaning against it. Gibbs always looked peaceful when he slept, but the look on Gibbs' face here, right now was something Tony couldn't even describe. That was the answer, the difference Tony had noticed. Some of the dark circles had disappeared from under Gibbs' eyes, the man seem more rested, his shoulders less tense with weariness as if some of the burden he carried had lessened.

The serene moment was shattered as the gun appeared from under the pillow and was pointed at his head. To Tony's credit, he never flinched never reacted. As the blue eyes locked on green, the gun was slowly lowered and placed on the nightstand.

"This is the closest I've ever gotten to you before you raised your gun."

"Not sure that's a good thing." Gibbs sighed as he sat up and leaned back against the head board the book sliding into his lap.

"I've never seen you look so…" Tony was still searching for the right word. "Content, relaxed when you slept." He shook his head. "I'm not sure what the right adjective is here."

Gibbs rolled his eyes as he picked up the book and tossed it onto the night stand. "Didn't realize you were scrutinizing me when I slept."

"Not scrutinizing, watching." Tony sighed. "It's the only time that all the regret and burden seems to leave your body." He watched Gibbs' Adam apple bob up and down. "I'm glad whatever happened with Gunny Davis finally helped you see sleeping in the bed is okay."

"What makes you think it had anything to do with Gunny Davis?"

"Because the similarities between you two were obvious, at least to me. The losses were different, but you both dealt with it the same way." Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "Playing it tough, pushing the people who care and want to help away, and-" He let the sentence trail off. "I'm just glad someone or something helped."

Involuntarily, Gibbs glanced at the empty side of the bed.

"The emptiness next to you gets easier too." Tony's voice cracked.

Gibbs was about to brush off the comment, then stopped himself, realizing that was what he always did. Brush off the comment so no one sees how you're really feeling. Tony was right; he pushed people away or kept them at a distance when it came to anything about his past with Shannon. "I think that's the hardest part." Gibbs let out a sigh as he put his head back against the headboard. "The way you miss having someone next to you, even if they're curled up away from you…you still know they're there."

Pulling his hands from his pockets, Tony tentatively made his way toward the empty side of the bed and lay down on his back. Folding his arm under his head he stared up at the ceiling. "I still curl up with the pillow sometimes and pretend."

Gibbs wondered who Tony pretended the pillow was Wendy, Jeanne, maybe Ziva. Sliding back down, Gibbs put his head on the pillow and mirrored Tony's position, not even questioning the other man's presence in the bed.

"Maybe it's not that the emptiness gets easier, you just learn how to cope with it." Tony said amending his earlier statement.

"Yeah." Gibbs took a deep breath and let it out thinking about how the emptiness of the house after Shannon and Kelly's death almost pushed him to do the unthinkable.

"I'm glad you didn't do it." Tony swallowed the emotion as he continued. "I can't imagine my life without you."

"Strange how that works." Gibbs thought back to that day. "You don't think about anyone or anything else in that moment. It's about your pain and just wanting that endless agony to stop."

Tony could hear the desperation in Gibbs' voice.

"And the barrel of that gun seems like the best possible solution to make it all better." Gibbs could still remember the thoughts and the feels he had on that day, the excruciating pain that he believed would never go away. "At least that's how it felt for me."

"Did you ever think about it again?"

"No." Gibbs paused realizing he'd never told anyone about how he felt that day.

Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Promise me, if you ever do you'll think of me and what it would do to me if you weren't here." Not much scared him, but the thought of Gibbs not being here terrified him.

Hearing the anguish in Tony's voice, Gibbs turned on his side and looked at the younger man. He could see the tears pooled under Tony's closed eyes. "Tony."

The name was barely a whisper, but Tony turned his head and opened his eyes meeting the somber blue as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Hey." Gibbs gently wiped away the tear.

Tony reached up and held the hand against his cheek as he sniffed back the tears.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Tony nodded as he swallowed the emotion.

"Is this what's had you so preoccupied these last few weeks?" Gibbs searched the emotional green eyes. "Did you think I was going to-"

"God no." Tony let go of Gibbs' hand and pulled away wiping at his eyes. "I just noticed something was different and I couldn't figure out what it was." Tony smiled. "But this is a good thing. Twenty plus years of sleeping on a lumpy couch to finally sleeping in the bed you two shared." He cleared his throat then stared back up at the ceiling. "I'd say I'm proud of you, but I don't really think my feelings matter in this situation."

"Your feelings always matter, especially to me." There was a momentary pause. "Did I do something to make you think you don't matter to me? Is that why you haven't been around lately?"

Tony shook his head.

"Then look at me."

Taking a deep breath, Tony rolled onto his side again meeting those blue eyes, eyes now full of questions and concern. "We're good, I promise."

"Why are you lying to me?" Gibbs brow furrowed as he saw the fear in Tony's eyes. Searching those green eyes, Gibbs finally saw it, the truth, the depth of the emotion behind the earlier tears and Gibbs' heart stopped. Why had he never seen it before? Maybe it was the situation, the shared emotion or the unfamiliar intimacy of the man being in his bed, or the simple fact that Gibbs was actually taking the time to connect with the man on a deeper level.

"I should really go." Tony went to turn and felt the vice like grip on his bicep stopping him. He stared at Gibbs' chest for what seemed like hours, before finally letting his gaze travel upward and meet the blue eyes that now knew the truth. The hand on his arm loosened then caressed down stopping as it made contact with Tony's hip.

"Stay."

That one solitary word, a request made so calmly, seemed filled with endless promise and it caused the deep seeded emotion to break free within Tony. His lips brushed against Gibbs'; tentatively at first, still afraid he was misjudging the situation and would be rebuffed. When Gibbs' lips chased his trying to draw them back, the gently brush turned into a tender caress.

Gibbs' hand slipped from Tony's hip and caressed up the younger man's back, then down settling on the small of Tony's back. It had been decades since he'd experience a first kiss that was so pure and innocent. A kiss that was meant to simply express a new closeness between two people finding their way together. It was the most exquisite sensation Gibbs had ever experienced a strange combination of something so familiar yet extraordinary new. He was still lost in the sensation even after Tony's lips left his and he felt the forehead against his. Suddenly he sensed the loss and he felt the immediate ache to taste those intoxicating lips again. He needed Tony closer, the hand on at the small of Tony's back tensed, the fingertips digging in and drawing Tony closer to him.

"Jethro." The name dripped from Tony's lips in a needful moan as he was drawn against the older man.

Gibbs jerked Tony harder against him desperately wanting to hear that needful sound from the younger man again. He felt the body against him tremble as the sound fell namelessly from Tony's lips. How could that sound alone make Gibbs entire body scream with need? Gibbs' lips smashed against Tony's, his tongue parting Tony's lips and exploring the younger man's mouth greedily.

Tony's hands found their way under Gibbs' t-shirt, his fingertips clawing up Gibbs' chest. He paused as he made contact with Gibbs' right nipple rubbing it into a hard nub between his fingers.

Ripping their lips apart, Gibbs let out some animalist cry as Tony's actions sent a jolt directly to his cock.

The reaction made Tony smile as he quickly shoved the t-shirt up Gibbs' chest and replaced his fingers with his lips, licking and nibbling gently.

The rough warm tongue flicked repeatedly over the already sensitive nub and Gibbs' mouth fell open.

"Off." Tony growled tearing at Gibbs' t-shirt wanting better access to the man's torso.

Half sitting up, Gibbs pulled the t-shirt off and tossed it aside. A hand was on his chest pushing him down onto his back and he went willingly, watching as Tony straddled his groin. Instinctively, Gibbs' hands clutched at Tony's hips. He saw the green eyes dilate further then felt the rocking. Gibbs' eyes closed and his head fell back as Tony rocked back and forth over his hard cock creating a friction that made his body shudder.

Dipping down Tony's lips brushed against Gibbs' ear. "Is that big hard cock all for me?"

"Yes." Gibbs growled thrusting up into the rocking then felt the fingers back at his nipple sending the added surge of pleasure through his body.

"Tell me what you want to do to me with that hard cock." Tony purred still at Gibbs' ear. He heard the guttural groan from the man under him. "Tell me." Tony whispered. "I wanna hear you say it." Tony gasped when the two hands knotted into the hair on the back of his head and jerked his head up so the two men were staring into each other's eyes.

"I wanna fuck you." Gibbs' eyes narrowed as he hissed. "Make you mine." He saw Tony's Adam's apple bob up and down. Before Tony could have any other response, Gibbs grabbed the center of the button down shirt Tony was wearing and tore it open. Sitting up with Tony in his lap, Gibbs' arm snaked around the younger man as his lips sank to Tony's exposed throat.

Tony tossed his head back exposing more of his throat and he moaned at the gentle nibbles placed up and down his throat.

Gibbs was amazed by the sweet nutty flavor of Tony's flesh, a combination of Tony's natural taste and the almond scent that always radiated off the man. It overwhelmed him and he sank his teeth deep into the unmarred flesh.

"Yes!" Tony cried out as he latched on to the back of Gibbs' head holding Gibbs against him begging for more.

Gnawing at the flesh, Gibbs growled feeling Tony's pulse under his teeth as his hands clawed up Tony's back. He needed more, so much more. Ripping his mouth from Tony's throat, Gibbs jerked his head back. "Need to feel all of you." Gibbs tore at the button on Tony's pants, then the zipper. He threw Tony down on the bed dragging the pants from the younger man's body and dropped them on the floor next to the bed.

Tony was about to move wanting Gibbs' naked too, when a hand placed on his chest stopped him. He looked at Gibbs and watched as the older man's eyes slowly leered down his body pausing on his hard cock. Lying back, Tony ran his hand across his stomach just above his cock.

Reaching out, Gibbs' fingertips brushed up the underside of Tony's cock and he watched the younger man's body tremble and tense. Repeating the action, Gibbs stared at Tony's face, watching the way Tony licked his lips and whimpered. He was just about to explore further when he felt the hand on his wrist. "I want you naked while you play with me."

The only response Gibbs could muster was a nod as he quickly shed his boxers. Settling on his side next to Tony, his fingers went back to Tony's cock following the vein on the underside to the head. Running his finger across the head it was slick with precum and without a thought he brought the finger to his lips and tasted the younger man surprised by the slightly sweet yet salty taste. He looked at Tony; the younger man was biting his lip as he groaned at the action. Gibbs leaned down kissing Tony's lips and moaning when Tony's tongue slipped across his lips tasting himself from the other man. Gibbs' hand wrapped around Tony's cock and started stroking slowly over its length. He felt the moan against his lips and drew back.

Tony's hand cupped Gibbs' cheek. "Feels so good." He sighed as he bucked slightly into Gibbs' hand causing the older man to increase his speed.

Mesmerized, Gibbs watched the way Tony's body wiggled, tensed and arched, the way his face contorted, and the sounds that poured from his lips. He felt the hand on his cheek drop to his shoulder and caress down to his bicep.

"You like watching what you do to me?" Tony sighed as his hips started thrusts up faster.

"Yes."

Tony glanced down at Gibbs' cock, hard and dripping like his own. "Oh fuck." Tony threw his head back, back arched as the released threatened. "Stop!" Tony practically screamed and Gibbs froze.

"What's wrong?"

Tony took slow deep breath. "Nothing." He rolled onto his side towards Gibbs. "I wanna come with you inside me." Shoving Gibbs down on to the bed, Tony smiled. "Lube?"

Gibbs tipped his head towards the nightstand next to him. Reaching across him, Tony opened the drawer and grabbed the bottle. Climbing onto Gibbs, Tony stayed on his knees and traced a finger down Gibbs' jaw line. "It has been a very, very long time." Tony said moistening his suddenly dry lips. "So you need to let me control this at first." He waited until he received a nod. "After that." He dipped down stopping just before their lips touched. "I'll beg you to fuck me." He felt Gibbs breathe catch. Rising back up, Tony popped the lid on the lube and grabbed Gibbs' right hand. He squeezed some across the fingers then tossed it on the night stand. "Are you-" Tony's mouth fell open as the air rushed from his lungs and his palms landed flat on Gibbs' chest.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed, he'd unceremoniously shoved two fingers deep inside Tony. "Are you lying because you think it's what I want to hear or because you don't wanna tell me the truth?" When the answer wasn't immediate, Gibbs pulled his fingers almost all the way out then slammed them back in eliciting a whimper from the younger man.

Tony's fingertips dug into Gibbs' chest as the fingers started working in and out of him.

"I'm still waiting for an answer." Gibbs hissed as he fucked Tony with his fingers.

Lost in the feel of Gibbs' fingers fucking him, Tony couldn't find his voice.

Gibbs added a third finger, shoving them inside Tony and stopped any movement.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Tony slowly blew it out. "I didn't wanna tell you the truth."

Gibbs slowly withdrew his fingers then worked them back in feeling Tony tighten around him. He gazed into the black eyes haloed in green and knew the truth. "You fucked yourself."

"Yes." Tony moaned as Gibbs started fucking him again. "In the middle of the night, last night."

"Did you have a dream, about a man fucking you, that's why you had to fuck yourself?"

"Yes."

"Do you have a lot of dreams about men fucking you?" Gibbs slid two fingers deep inside Tony curving them upward searching for that perfect spot. The body above him trembled and he thrust up hard. Tony's mouth fell open in a silent cry as his knees shook. "Answer me."

"Yes, God yes." Tony tried to rise up and felt Gibbs' free hand latch onto his hip preventing the movement. "It's only one man." His body shook again as Gibbs jerked his fingers out then slammed them back in. "You, it's always you!"

Withdrawing his fingers, he sat up with Tony in his arms; with one hand he position himself at Tony's opening then wrapped his arms around the younger man pulling their bodies closer.

Tony took Gibbs' face in his hands, their eyes locked as he slowly eased down taking in the head of Gibbs' cock.

Gibbs' forced himself to keep his eyes open as the warmth enveloped him. He hissed as the younger man slowly took in more of his length. Crushing their bodies together, Gibbs tried to take a deep breath only to have it forced from his lungs when Tony was suddenly sitting in his lap. "Oh fuck, Tony!" Before Gibbs could even try to gain control, Tony was raising up then taking him in again.

"Feels even better than I imagined." Tony panted his own body still adjusting to the girth of Gibbs hard cock. Over and over he fucked himself on Gibbs' cock gradually feeling his body stretching to accommodate the intrusion.

"Tony, please." Gibbs sighed desperately searching for anything to calm the growing need. Tony settled in his lap and Gibbs thought his plea had worked. Then he felt the lips against his ear.

"Fuck me, please Jethro, I need you." An animalist cry filled the room as Tony was thrown down onto the bed, Gibbs' cock leaving him for a moment, only to be slammed back into him a second later. A hand clutched at his right hip as he was taken hard. His body thrust upward with each of Gibbs forward movements. Tony's back arched as his hands clawed at the bed sheet. "FUCK YES!" He screamed. "HARDER!"

Lunging full force into Tony, Gibbs lost all control giving the younger man exactly what he asked for. The truth was nothing could have stopped him, the animal had taken over and the only thing it wanted, needed, craved was Tony.

Eyes closed, lips parted and parched, back arched as he clutched at the sheets, Tony felt the fingers clawing at his knuckles. Somehow he managed to pry his hand from the sheet and their hands entwined and their joined hands were pushed above his head. The hand squeezed his and Tony's eyes fluttered open meeting the wild blue eyes of the man above him. "I wanna feel you come." Tony panted. "I'm so close."

Gibbs buried his head in the crook of Tony's shoulder as he hammered into the younger man with the last ounce of strength he had. Somehow he heard the cry as Tony came felt the fingertips dig into the back of their entwined hands. That was the final straw, Gibbs lunged into Tony and came, screaming into Tony's shoulder. Just before he was about to collapse, Gibbs rolled down next to Tony hearing the whimper as his cock left the other man's body.

Lying there, Gibbs let his body calm slightly before forcing himself to take a deep breath and filling his aching lungs. Rolling onto his side, he touched Tony's cheek gently turning the younger man's head and forcing Tony to look at him. "You don't ever have to lie about how you feel about me or anything else."

"I just-" Tony sighed. "I didn't know what this was and I didn't want you to feel pressured to-"

"Love you?"

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat. "Have deeper feelings than you actually have." He felt the lips press against his and he gave in eagerly to the embrace. Gibbs pulled away and Tony licked his lips, green eyes meeting blue.

"I love you Tony." Gibbs slid closer to Tony, the younger man turning on his side to meet him.

"So what do we do now?" Tony grinned.

"We take a shower and you start telling me about all the dreams." Gibbs smirked. "Then we start all over again." He went to roll away and felt the hand on his arm, pausing he rolled back seeing the concern in Tony's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Are you okay with this?"

Gibbs' brow furrowed.

"Not the us part but the-you just started sleeping in the bed and then we're having sex in it and-" The rest of the sentence was swallowed by a kiss.

"It took twenty years for me to want to sleep in this bed again and I've been waiting just as long to find someone I wanted to share this bed with, I won't waste another minute."

"I love you." Tony smiled with a quick kiss.

"Good, now that that's settled." Gibbs climbed out of the bed. "Shower then back into bed."

"Plan to keep me in bed all weekend?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows.

"Depends on you and these dreams."

Tony jumped out of bed with excitement. "I have this one that involved the living room; dining room and kitchen think we need to talk about that one first."