Marinette had walked into the classroom with such a determined look on her face that Adrien almost assumed she was about to break Chloe's nose.
Not that he hadn't seen her look determined before, but usually that was when a stressful situation had arisen and someone needed to take charge of the situation. As far as he was aware there wasn't anything in particular about today that would call for that kind of attitude.
What was even odder was the fact that as soon as she made eye contact with him, it completely fizzled.
It was actually almost amazing to watch, the way she seemed to deflate like a balloon. He thought that was something that only happened in anime or cartoons, not in actual life. But there was really no other way to describe it.
Alya came up behind her best friend shortly after, leading her to her seat and whispering something Adrien couldn't hear to her. He was tempted to turn around and ask her if something was wrong when the lesson began and he focused his attention instead on learning the material.
About halfway through the lesson, though, something was dropped over his shoulder into his lap.
Meet me after class - Marinette
He frowned at the note, but tucked it away before the teacher could call him on it. Nino gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged because he really didn't know what she would want to talk about. He certainly didn't know what would make her drop a note over his shoulder to meet him after class. Maybe she wanted to talk to him about getting an internship with his dad? Gabriel Agreste could certainly make people deflate like that. But why would she talk to him about that? He only modeled the clothes; he didn't have anything to do with the designing process.
Maybe she didn't realize how little he was involved with his father's work. Literally the only interaction he had with his father's fashion was wearing it. He didn't get a say in anything else, let alone who his father's company hired as interns. He'd have to try to tell her that as nicely as possible – if that was even what she wanted to meet with him about.
He waited the whole rest of the lesson, dutifully taking notes, until they were finally released and he was able to pack up his things. Marinette was hovering around her seat and out of the corner of his eye, Adrien saw Alya giving her a thumbs up. He turned shortly after to give her a smile.
"Hey, Marinette."
"H-h-hi!" He turned and checked to make sure that Chloe was already out of the room because he knew she'd have an issue with him speaking with Marinette privately. Thankfully she had already left and he knew that the rest of their classmates would be good about filing out and leaving them alone.
"You said you wanted to talk?"
Marinette seemed to gulp and then nodded. Alya had finally taken her leave and left them alone.
"Y-y-yes I did. I.. Adrien…"
"Yes?" he prompted when she seemed to be stuttering too much to get out a single word. She was starting to turn red and – was she shaking? She was honestly shaking. He couldn't help but reach out and grab her shoulder to steady the poor girl. What on earth did she want to talk about that would make her freak out this much? "Marinette, calm down. You're fine."
"Love- um- Adrien- I- um-"
"Marinette!" he said loudly, gripping her shoulders even tighter. He smiled at her as she flushed an even brighter red. "It's just me. What is it?"
"… I… Adrien…"
"Yes?"
"—Iloveyou."
Adrien froze.
"What?"
She made a face that made her look like she was constipated – or about to explode. "I-I-I- Nothing!"
"Marinette… did you say…"
She made an admittedly cute squeaking noise before muttering the words he thought she had said again.
"Adrien… I love you."
He felt his heart sink into his stomach. Oh no…
"Marinette I…" She wasn't looking him in the eye. In fact he thought that his grip on her shoulders was the only thing keeping her from running away. Realizing this he let go of her and stepped away slightly. He felt so awful, especially since she had obviously had to work up a lot of courage to decide to come talk to him but… "I'm so sorry. I… love someone else."
Silence.
Then a quiet, "Oh."
"I am so sorry Marinette," he said quickly. "I am so sorry. It's not that I don't… like you! I do! You're a great friend and you're always so kind, but… I… already… I'm so sorry."
She shook her head, pig tails bobbing around her head. "No, no, you're fine." Her words ran entirely hollow. "It's alright." She finally lifted her head and smiled, but to Adrien's horror he saw her eyes watering. "If you already love someone else—"
As if she was orchestrating it to make him feel horrible, her voice cracked.
"Marinette, I am so sorry. I… I'm so sorry."
"No. No. I just… My dad needs me, I need to go home." He reached out to her, but she hurried right past him and out of the classroom. He tried to follow her, but she moved even faster than he thought she would and by the time he reached the door she was already halfway down the hall.
"Marinette!" he called after her, but she kept walking.
"What happened?" He spun and found Alya standing right outside the door. He probably should have been more surprised to see her, but then again should he really be that surprised?
"I… she… she told me she loved me."
"I know. What did you say?"
Adrien stared at Alya, struggling to come up with something to say but all he could come up with was, "… I'm in love with someone else."
"And you just told her that?"
"What else was I supposed to say?"
"What else were you supposed to say? What? Do you think you can just break girl's hearts like that because you're Mr. Fashion Model Adrien Agreste?"
"Alya," he breathed, taking a step back. It felt like she had slapped him. She might as well have, really. "I would never— I couldn't never— Marinette is one of my best friends!"
Something about his expression or his words caused her face to soften just slightly. "I know, Adrien. I'm just mad because she's hurt and I hate to see that."
"I never wanted to hurt her."
"Well we do a lot of things in life we don't want to do," she snapped, causing him to shrink even further. "If she ends up as an akuma, it's your fault."
That made him legitimately flinch. But Alya was right. If he had hurt her that badly it would make her a perfect target for Hawkmoth. He couldn't imagine sweet Marinette being turned into an akuma, but everyone had a breaking point. If she was and it was his fault he wasn't sure if he'd be able to forgive himself. And he didn't know if he would be able to fight her. Fighting the Bubbler had been bad enough, but Marinette?
He wanted to go find her immediately and protect her, to make sure it didn't happen, but then classes were starting and when he asked to go to the bathroom, he wasn't able to find her anywhere. She seemed to have gone home for the rest of the day. He wanted to go visit her right after school got out, but then he was dragged to piano lessons right after classes before he could get a word in edgewise.
He found hope in the fact that the streets of Paris hadn't exploded yet, but as soon as he had a free moment, which unfortunately wasn't until it was almost dark, he slipped away as Chat Noir and paid a visit to his classmate.
The light in her bedroom was on, which was a good sign, but he couldn't see her moving around down there. He was just pulling out his baton to use one of its useful features when a voice spoke behind him.
"Just who do you think you're spying on, kitty?"
Chat Noir jumped and whirled around, even though he knew there was only one person who could have snuck up on him like that. "My Lady."
She didn't look particularly amused to see him there. He barely had a moment to frown at her though before she was asking another question.
"What are you doing here, Chat Noir?"
He turned back to the window, trying to see where Marinette might be. "I'm keeping an eye on the girl who lives here, Marinette. She's the girl that you had me watch over when the Illustrator was after her."
"Why?"
"Word on the street is she got hurt pretty bad today and I just wanted to make sure she didn't end up becoming the next akuma we need to fight."
He wasn't watching Ladybug, so he totally missed her surprised look. "…I think she's safe. Usually an Akuma will strike right after it happens, not a couple of hours later."
"Maybe. But I don't want to risk it. She's a really sweet girl and it… it really hurts to be rejected by someone you love." He had to stop himself from physically flinching as he said it. He hadn't had any idea she had felt that way about him or maybe he might have been able to do something or say something other than "I love someone else." It was the truth, but at least he could have come up with a more tactful way to say it. She had been trying so hard to look unaffected, but he could still see the hurt welling up in her sweet blue eyes.
Imagine his panic when he turned and saw the same look on his Lady's face.
"Ladybug?" he probed as gently as he could. She jerked and looked at him, but the tears had spilled over her mask and trailed down her face.
"What?" she wiped her face free of the tears, but he hurried over to her and grabbed her shoulders.
"What's wrong? My Lady, please tell me what's wrong!"
"It's nothing, Chat."
"It's clearly not nothing, Ladybug. What is it? What's wrong? Did I say something?" First Marinette and now Ladybug. He just kept hurting people he loved today didn't he? Marinette was one of his best friends, he hated the fact that he hurt her. But if he just made Ladybug cry now too he might jump off the building and not catch himself.
"No! No, it's not you Chat it's just…" she took a shuddering breath and then cursed softly. Chat blinked; he didn't think he had ever heard his Lady swear. "I'm sorry, I can't believe I'm falling apart like this. I guess I just…" She brushed the tears away again with the base of her palm. "I guess I just sympathize with this Marinette girl."
"You sympathize with her?"
"Yeah I… I may have told the boy I love that I love him today."
Chat felt as if cold water had just been poured all of him. The sudden shock and the cold chill slowly rolling down his back.
Ladybug was in love with someone. She was in love with someone else.
Someone who was making her cry.
"And he… told me that he was in love with someone else. So I guess I know how she feels."
"Ladybug… I…"
She shook her head, purposefully looking away from him as she continued to try to get rid of the tears that were still falling down her face.
"I'm fine, Chat. I'll get over it."
"I don't want you to get akumatized either," he said, pulling her into a hug. What surprised him most wasn't how nicely she seemed to fit in his arms or the way she hugged him back, but actually how natural it felt. He had always been afraid that trying to hug her would feel awkward or uncomfortable, but it felt completely normal to hug her like this. To comfort her like this.
She wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, dropping her head onto his shoulder. He held her as tightly as he dared and simply let her cry.
"I'm so sorry, Ladybug," he whispered into her blueish black hair. Even though he was currently hugging the girl of his dreams, the girl he had been in love with for months, he hated it. He hated that she was crying, he hated the situation that led her to cry, he hated the fact that… he might have done the same thing to Marinette.
"It's not your fault," she said pulling away. "It's mine. I'm so stupid to think he could ever love me too."
"Hey! Don't say that, Ladybug!"
"I'm not Ladybug, Chat!"
He frowned at her and she shook her head, clarifying. "I'm only Ladybug when I have this mask on. When I'm not Ladybug, I'm just a clumsy nobody that no one could ever like. I'm a different person without the spots, Chat. And I'm not surprised he doesn't want me; after all he's so kind and intelligent and beautiful—"
"Stop, Ladybug. Stop right there," he said as firmly as he possibly could, pushing her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "I don't know who you are without the mask. But you are always Ladybug. Losing the mask doesn't mean you lose who you are, and you are kind and brave and selfless and I—" He couldn't say the words though. He couldn't tell her that he loved her when she was so broken like this. "And I don't know anyone who deserves love more than you."
She sniffed, dropping his gaze. "Thanks, Chat."
"You don't believe me."
"No, I… I'm just different than you think, Chat. I'm not like Ladybug when I'm a civilian."
"And you think I'm like Chat Noir when I'm a civilian? Ladybug, we couldn't be more different!"
"I have trouble believing that," she whispered, but at least the tears had stopped. He took that as a small victory and pounced on it.
"Oh yeah? What if I were to tell you that my secret identity has actually met Ladybug? And you didn't have a clue who I was."
That took Ladybug aback. She stared at him. "I've met you?"
"As my secret identity. And I didn't crack a single pun around you."
"No pick up lines?"
"None. Though I may have stared at you a lot."
"Really?" She looked completely mystified at the idea that she could have met him outside of the mask and not known it.
"Yes. Ladybug, I understand being a different person when we're not transformed. I do it every single day. But changing your spots does not change who you are and the Ladybug I know is one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life."
Ladybug watched him as if waiting for him to crack a joke, but this time he was determined not to. He looked directly into her eyes, hoping to make her realize just how much he meant it. He couldn't tell her that he loved her, but he could tell her about how amazing she was. And not as the super hero that Paris loved, but as the person who loved love and helped care for people after they were turned into akumas and would do anything to protect the city that she loved.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now tell me who this guy is so I can give him a little visit from a very angry kitty."
She gaped. "No! Chat!"
"He made you cry, Ladybug! I have to defend your honor!"
"Slow down, kitty! You are not going to go off and find him!"
"Why not?"
"He's not some monster that broke my heart!"
"He definitely—"
"You can't hurt him! He's so nice all the time—"
"He broke your heart, Ladybug!"
"No! Well, he didn't mean to! He's in love with someone else. I can't blame him for that."
"I can," he growled, wondering if he could figure out who the guy was without Ladybug telling him. It wasn't very likely. She was very good about keeping her identity a secret and he couldn't exactly hunt down every guy in Paris and ask them if they had broken any girl's hearts that day.
Of course, he would be at the very top of that list.
That thought made him simultaneously deflate and spin around back towards the bakery.
"Marinette!" he scanned the window, scrambling across the roof to try to get a better view. He didn't see her in her room anymore. "I don't see her!"
"I'm sure she's fine, Chat."
"I don't want her to get hurt! Or—she's already been hurt and it's my fault and if she gets akumatized because of it—"
"Wait, Chat, what do you mean it's your fault? How could it possibly be your fault; now you're the one talking nonsense."
He froze. He had said that out loud. In front of Ladybug.
"I… I mean, she's one of Paris's citizens and I wouldn't want her to get hurt or get akumatized because I fight for Paris and its people—"
Ladybug was staring intently at him again, and he wasn't sure he felt very comfortable with it. He had slipped. And he had slipped up majorly. Yes, Ladybug was usually the one that was so insistent they keep their identities secret, but he didn't want her to find out like this, now. Especially not when he had just done to Marinette what someone else had just done to Ladybug.
"Chat Noir. You said that it was your fault Marinette got hurt. I happen to know that Chat Noir was not involved at all in what happened to Marinette which means… do you know her? Your civilian self?"
He hesitated, and then finally bowed his head in shame. "… no one's said anything about her getting hurt. I didn't… she… I'm the one who broke her heart."
He was still looking down at the room when she gasped. "Adrien?"
"I didn't mean to! I didn't— I never wanted to hurt her! Marinette is one of my best friends and she's so sweet and so kind and she loves everyone so much, I didn't know she felt that way about me. It's just like what happened to you and I already felt horrible because of what I did to her and then I saw you and someone did I what did to her to you and I wanted to hurt him, but I'm hardly one to speak because I did it to her and I hate myself for it—"
"No, no! Adrien! You can't hate yourself! You can't! I would hate myself if you— you can't!"
"What?"
"You love someone else and if you love her than she must be amazing. It hurts knowing that you don't love me, but I never wanted to make you hate yourself!"
Chat Noir lifted his eyes from the roof to meet Ladybug's earnest gaze. She was desperate to make him understand she didn't want him to hate himself because… of her.
"Ladybug? You're Marinette?"
"… Yes. But you can't hate yourself, Adrien! I never wanted that!"
He stared at her, knowing that his mouth was open and not caring because he felt like he was seeing her for the first time. The sweetness and the kindness and the bravery and selflessness— of course she was Marinette. Of course Marinette of Ladybug.
Which mean… he had broken his Lady's heart.
Because he was in love with his Lady.
"Marinette… Ladybug…"
"You love someone else. You shouldn't feel bad because of that—"
Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore, launching himself across the small space between them to kiss her firmly and soundly on the lips. She promptly froze so he pulled away, but still kept a hand on her back.
"Marinette… when I said I loved someone else, I meant Ladybug. Because I'm madly in love with her. And not because she's a hero that saves Paris, but because she's kind and sweet and brave and all of those things that Marinette is."
She stared at him. "You love Ladybug?"
"I love you."
"But…"
"I love Ladybug and… I love Marinette. But mostly I love you. It makes complete sense that you're both of them because the things that I love most about either of you are the same because you're the same and I am so sorry for everything I did to you and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you'll let me and… if you can accept the fact that Adrien loves a good cat pun—"
This time she took the pleasure of cutting him off by pressing her lips against his.
"Shut up, kitty."