Disclaimer: I don't own "Rick and Morty". They are owned solely by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon.

Author's Note: So, I thought this might be a one-shot, but I guess it's turning into a short chapter-story! (Some things you just have to take your time with.) Note: Planet ZA is part my own creation, part inspired by the "Leisure Planets" from "Doctor Who".

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Birds were happily singing and the sun was just rising through the trees.

Morty Smith was hiding deep under the covers, still sleeping. He'd pulled a rare all-nighter for a major math test he'd be taking that Friday. Today was Wednesday, the beginning of prep day in math class. Sleep was his only respite from his studies (his parents had strictly forbade Rick to take him on any journies until his studies were a little more under control), but even during sleep, elusive math equations followed him left and right like the plague.

"And a - b = -zzzzz….," Morty receited in his sleep before his snores took over once again, this time even louder than before.

He was just falling into a peaceful drifting slumber when, without warning, the sheets were yanked off of his poorly insulated body, and Morty's eyes popped open with a shriek-it felt like he'd been dipped in an ice bath, the air was so shockingly cold!

"Jeeesus schiznets, Mortimer-are you aware that your scream resembles a traumatized little girl's?"

Morty looked up to see Rick's looming, unshaven features hovering over him, breathing a horrible stench of stale liquor right in his face. Just what he wanted to see first thing in the morning.

"Geeze, Rick! Whatever happened to giving someone a, a, a, I dunno, a little privacy, huh?!" Morty fumed as he hugged his shivering body to himself, glowering vengefully over at his grandfather. "I-I'm, I'm a, a-a-a-a teenager, you know? I, I have the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on my door for a reason! You, you can't just barge in here like-"

"Okay, okay, Morty, quit your yappering already." Rick tossed his grandson the set of newly pressed clothes that were draped over Morty's desk chair. "Get dressed," Rick ordered simply as he turned his back to look the other way. "We've got a full day ahead of us and I don't want to be behind schedule. Come on now don't dilly dally, let's go."

Morty sat on his bed in shock. "I've got school today Rick! Mom and Dad will be furious if-if-if I went with you today!"

A rise in Rick's voice silenced him. "Forget school Morty! School can wait!"

"B-b-b-but I have a test on Friday!" Morty had to force himself not to hyperventilate. "I-i-i-it's gonna determine my scores for the rest of the year! I'm already failing most of my classes, Rick!"

"Listen Morty," Rick said to the wall, "life is going to ruin you if you don't figure out how to mix things up a little."

"That-that's easy for you to say!" Morty shouted in spite of himself; he was furious. "You already went through high school! You don't have to deal w-w-with stupid tests, a-a-a-and bullies harassing you, and-and teachers breathing down your neck all day…." Morty finished the sentence by trailing off, too exhausted to continue.

An awkward silence filled the air, during which Morty could hear his heartbeat. He felt a little bad about yelling, but he was so stressed out, and Rick was so old, he'd probably forgotten altogether what those days were like.

Finally, Rick turned around to face him, but the expression on his face was one not easily decipherable. (At least, Morty thought, he didn't seem angry.) More like...tired? Morty couldn't be sure. (But then again, with Rick, it was never easy to be sure.)

"Yeah," Rick said (was that a bit more bitterness than usual in his voice?) "No shit-Earth education sucks balls, Morty. and that's why I'm taking you to the best damn school there is." Rick pointed upwards, through the window, where the sunlight was scattering in all directions, creating mosaics of rainbow colors on the ceiling, and all about the room.

Morty watched the dancing rainbows, then looked over at the pile of clothes sitting in front of him. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that Rick was right.

Rick Sanchez was always right.

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"So….where did you say we were going, uh, again, Rick?" Morty asked tiredly as they sped along in the spaceship, already a few hundred lightyears from Earth. All around them were stars, billions upon billions of stars. It was making Morty sleepy, watching all those stars whiz on by. He wasn't about to let on to Rick, but secretly, he wished he'd stayed in bed.

"What I said, Morty, is that you're in for a surprise," Rick returned with marked annoyance as he tinkered idly with the radio, trying unsuccessfully to find a good music station, "so, quit asking me questions or it can't be a surprise."

"Qu-quit playing games, Rick!" Morty glowered from his seat where he was trying desperately to nod off. "It's, like, 8am in the morning and I still haven't had my breakfast!"

"Way to be a buzzkill, Morty-I'm taking you to one of the best digs in the freaking Universe so don't be such a Neighing Nancy."

"I'm not a-not a-a-a-a what?" Morty blinked back at Rick with confusion.

"Nothing. Not important. Oooo yeah! Fina-fucking-ly!" With triumph, Rick released his hold on the radio's knob, a satisfied expression on his face, having finally found what he was looking for.

They continued to speed along in the inky darkness, as they'd hit a pocket of Universe where there were fewer stars, only a couple of breathtakingly beautiful nebulae passing them by. Morty pressed his face against the glass, mesmerized by the cacophany of cloudy colors, filled with a multitude of different suspended gas formation. (It never ceased to amaze him when they came almost face-to-face with one of these things; prior to his adventures with Rick, he'd only seen their images on the computer or in books.) Things like this made him glad he'd come along. If only his math teacher could see him now!

"Wh-where are we, Rick?" Morty asked as Rick began to take them down towards a nearby planet. It was red much like the color of Mars, only it had both red, orange and, like Earth, some blue and green mixed in as well. "Wh-what planet is this?"

"This is Planet ZA, Morty," Rick announced as they slowly came in for a landing. "It's a place where aliens from all different civilizations come to relax and uuuunwind. The place is literally-and I mean literally-crawling with resorts! Or rather, the resorts can literally crawl themselves. They can teleport from place to place around the planet, like an inter-dimensional cruise."

"Cool!" Morty exclaimed with sincere amazement, his exhaustion and testing troubles all but forgotten.

Rick chuckled as he landed them carefully right in the parking lot of his favorite Planet ZA restaurant, which was called the Silken Cocoon.

Stomach growling, Morty got out of the car then halted in his tracks, staring straight ahead and cringing. "Eeeew-why is there a spider on the sign? We-we're not eating insects here, are we, Rick?" Morty winced as he took in the sight of the restaurant.

"Shhh Morty! The owner of this place is real picky about etiquette here!" Rick hushed him quickly as he shooed him aside, "this place is about as good as it gets-you don't wanna make enemies with him-they'll put slime and insect guts in your food!"

"Yuck!" Morty groaned covering his eyes with his hands. "Do we hafta go in here, Rick? If the owner's so mean, wh-why do you like this place then?"

"I'm a long-time customer Morty and they know me here," Rick said voice low, "and you're not gonna ruin my reputation here, Morty!"

"What do they feed you here anyway?" Morty glared back at him, "Worms? Crickets? I'm not eating frogs Rick!"

"No-no frogs here, Morty-it's just good plain old food Morty-just-just calm the fuck down, dammit Morty! Y-you're making a scene!"

"Okay-fine!" Morty snapped back at him in a huff, "let's, let's just get inside, okay? It's sweltering hot out here and my throat's all dry."

Together they went inside, where a satisfyingly cool interior greeted them, along with their evening's host: a creature that, to Morty, resembled a giant cockroach-which made Morty shrink back with a surprising slap of fear.

"Wh-wh-wh-what's that, Rick?" he whispered fiercely in his grandfather's ear.

"Don't stare, Morty! This here is my old friend Lucifer! Hey Lu!" Rick shouted out, "long time no seee!"

"Rick Sanchez!" Lucifer proceeded to reveal what might have been a smile (it was hard for Morty to tell exactly where his mouth was), as he moved forward and extended on of his feelers. "Great to see you-your return has been way overdue!"

"Yeah well you know-I got a little erm, 'domesticated' since we last spoke," Rick added hastily with a short nod in Morty's direction.

Morty shrank back behind Rick as Lucifer peered down at him over his spectacles. "And if you don't mind me asking Rick, who do you have here with you today? I don't recall seeing him before."

"This here's my grandson Morty, Lu," Rick announced with a much-too-hard slap of approval on the back (much to Morty's chagrin). "This is his first time to the Silken Cocoon-so please give him the works-and my usual spot."

"One table by the window with the works, coming up," Lucifer called out the order with a wink in Rick's direction.

Morty, though relieved he didn't have to shake the insect's feeler in greeting, wondered if perhaps going to school might have actually been better than this. Somehow, he was beginning to regret having his usual homemade breakfast instead.) He followed Rick to the table, wondering what else, on this crazy adventure, Rick might have up his sleeve.