Hi guys! OK, some announcements.

1... I won't be uploading on here any more. The site is too clunky, I keep having glitches trip me up. I'm later than I needed to be getting this to you because of it and I'm worried that the next glitch will prevent me communicating with you, so it's gotta be now. I have fond memories of this site - it's where I discovered fanfic and became a fic writer - and we all owe them our gratitude, but AO3 has massively improved on the system and it's where all the quality fic is nowadays. I'm sorry, guys, I wanted to stick with the little community we've made here but AO3 is where I want to be and FF has become kinda a headache. If you want to keep following this fic, I'm DestielTheShipOfDreams on AO3. I have the fic split up into smaller fics as a series on there: Part One is 'Escalation' and Part Two (that I'm partway through publishing) is 'Complication'. The overall series is called 'Fallen and Falling' (cheesy yes, but we all know I suck at titles).

2... BECAUSE I'm only just publishing Part Two my AO3 readers are waaaayyyy behind you guys. I'm going to speed up my updates on there so hopefully in like a month, the fic will have caught up to where you guys are at. Right now on AO3 Cas has only just asked Dean on that date :P Because the AO3 readers are behind, PLEASE do not put any spoilers in any comments. I would love to see all of you over there and you're welcome to comment and be as smug as you like about knowing what's around the next cliffhanger... but don't actually spill any details.

I am so so sorry if this upsets any of you but I'm not really going anywhere major; if you want to keep up with this story or my writing in general then you know where to find me. I cherish each and every one of you and I'm incredibly grateful for the unprecedented support and love this fic has gotten on here! You're all still my number ones. I'm just kinda over this site :P

Now for the last chapter I'll probably ever publish on FF! I am actually weirdly emotional now, huh. It's a bit of a plot heavy chapter and ends with drrramaaaaaa! Also I seem incapable of writing Crowley without heavy hints of Drowley in there. Because it's canon. They were a thing. Anyway, much love always and enjoooyyyy! xxx

"What the hell is he doing in the bunker? In my room?!" Dean asks Sam loudly, turning on him. Sam twists his mouth apologetically.

"He was supposed to wait in the library while I came and got you. You wanna try getting Crowley to follow instructions, Dean?"

"Oh, under the right circumstances, I think that could be quite fun," purrs the demon, eyes twinkling. My hands twitch into fists and then relax again. Crowley is irritating, but mostly just talk. It's pointless to engage with his needling.

"What is this 'problem'?" I ask him coolly. He appraises me.

"Almost didn't recognise you without all the feathers and bluster. I can see you've still got your winning smile and charm, though-"

"Get on with it," snaps Dean. He continues almost instantly, shaking his head. "Actually, no, not here. And not in my damn dressing gown. You guys go wait in the library like this guy was meant to. We'll be there in a minute."

Sam nods and he and Kevin move towards the door, but Crowley is standing still and focused, sharp gaze moving between Dean and me. He huffs a small, cruel laugh. "So it's finally happened then? Cassie wasn't in here for algebra tutoring, I take it?"

Dean flushes and sets his jaw, staring off to the side instead of meeting the demon's eyes. I step protectively between the two, glaring at Crowley. "Go."

Crowley rolls his eyes and slinks off up the hallway; Sam mumbles a 'sorry' and follows Kevin out too. The door closes and I exhale slowly, waiting a beat before turning to Dean. He hasn't moved to start getting dressed and is gazing unseeing at the same spot by the door. My stomach sinks. This is about Crowley knowing.

"Dean?"

He startles and blinks at me. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll- I'll put some clothes on."

He hesitates before shucking off his robe and moving over to his dresser. I feel a flicker of petulance that I don't get to appreciate admiring him naked because things couldn't not go wrong for a single fucking day, but there are more important issues to consider.

"Dean, don't… don't let Crowley anger you. He's… uh, an asshole."

My awkward use of the very Dean-like phrase tugs a smile onto his face as he zips up his jeans. "Truer words, Cas, truer words."

I watch him worriedly. "If you're embarrassed or- or ashamed-"

Dean pauses in straightening the hem of his Henley, alarmed gaze darting up to mine. "What? No! Cas, don't be stupid. I'm not ashamed of you. I just… don't trust Crowley. He could use this against us. And he won't keep his mouth shut either. It's gonna be common knowledge soon enough that we're… you know, whatever we are. Then what? It's a weakness, it makes you vulnerable. Even more vulnerable."

I shrug. "I consider you well worth it."

Dean scoffs as he tosses me my jeans without looking at me, hunting for some socks with an odd intensity. "Yeah, well…"

He clearly isn't planning on actually responding, so I fall silent as I drag the jeans on. I don't bother with putting on a new shirt, simply layering the ratty Metallica one with my red and black plaid. I leave my feet bare and distractedly ruffle my still-damp hair, trying to finger-comb it into neatness. I give up fast. Dean is watching me from by the door when I turn to him, eyes fond and lips upturned.

"What?" I ask self-consciously. He shrugs.

"You just look so different human. I keep seeing you all over again."

I tilt my head questioningly. "Good different?"

He shrugs again, smiling, before turning and opening the door. "Come on, sunshine. Let's go see what our charming guest wants."

I wrinkle my nose but follow him to the library, where Sam is frowning at a pile of books on the table and Crowley is smirking at a tense-looking Kevin. Upon our entrance, the demon turns and focuses on us, spreading his hands.

"Ah, the happy couple. Glad you could spare a few minutes outside the bedroom. Of course, I'd be very interested in a few minutes or more inside the bedroom too-"

"Get on with it, Crowley," Sam interrupts loudly, eyes closed. Crowley rolls his eyes but acquiesces.

"Fine. I came here because a situation is brewing that deserves your attention. It involves a certain Knight of Hell who I believe you are familiar with."

My stomach twists in dread, the emotion echoed in Dean's voice: "Abaddon."

"Bingo," Crowley replies softly. "That psychotic bitch has decided that she wants to rule the world and all its subheadings. Hell is just the beginning for her. She wants Earth, Heaven, Purgatory… you name it, it's prime real estate as far as she's concerned. And killing anyone who gets in her way seems to be the part of the job that she's taken to with the most enthusiasm."

"Damn it," I breathe. As if Metatron isn't enough.

"Precisely," says Crowley lazily. Sam and Dean glance at each other, communicating in that silent way of theirs, a language of micro-expressions. Sam looks back at Crowley.

"What do you want us to do?"

The demon tilts his head, considering. "I want you to help me, Moose. I want us to put Abaddon down, permanently."

I frown. "How?"

Crowley sighs. "Well, it won't be a stroll in the park. I've been looking into options."

Dean crosses his arms, face unhappy. "Your 'options' generally suck ass, Crowley."

"Yes, well, much as I'd love to hear all about your experiences su-"

"What are these options?" I cut in impatiently. I never cared for Crowley's barely-disguised fixation on Dean and I care for it even less now. The demon tears his eyes away from Dean with clear reluctance to sneer at me.

"Before we get into all that, I think a certain issue needs to be addressed. I assume you're working on getting your grace back?"

I blink, taken aback. My voice is smaller when I reply, wary. "Metatron has my grace."

Crowley frowns. "Well, kill the little bastard and retrieve it."

I scowl at him. "If it's so easy to destroy Metatron, please, feel free to do so yourself."

"What, so you're not even going to try?" Crowley says in disbelief. I shift uncomfortably. He looks around the room, predictably landing on Dean.

"What do you have to say about this?" the demon demands. Dean's arms are still crossed, tension in his shoulders and clenched fists. He's staring down at the floor, a blank look in his eyes. I eye him, worried and a little confused. What exactly is upsetting him so much about this conversation? Is it the prospect of going after Metatron?

"Hello? Earth to Dean?"

Dean stirs, but doesn't look up. He mutters: "It's up to Cas."

I shift towards him a little, anxious at his demeanour, but Crowley is talking to me again and I turn to him with a frown.

"... not even bothered by the fact that you're powerless? We had an angel on our side, and now you're useless!"

I wince, but Dean snaps out of whatever was plaguing him and steps forward, uncrossing his arms and pointing at Crowley with a glare. "Hey, Cas is not useless. OK?"

I straighten up a little, love and pride easing the sting of Crowley's words. Sam chimes in too, voice firm. "No, he's not. And we still have an angel on our side. Hannah wants to speak."

"What?" Crowley asks, perplexed. Sam tilts his head back and closes his eyes; when he opens them again, a faint glow of grace flares there before a calm expression settles over his face. He looks at me.

"Hello, Castiel," says Hannah through Sam's voice.

"What?!" repeats Crowley, a little louder. Hannah turns to him with a disapproving look.

"You seem misinformed, demon. Castiel is far from useless, and as Sam stated, these men still have allies from Heaven. Chiefly, me. I am Hannah."

Crowley blinks at her and then turns to Dean and me, almost shouting: "What the bloody hell is going on?"

Dean sighs. "Sam needs healing. Hannah's helping out. Cas found her."

Dean shoots me a grateful look and I smile briefly at him before turning to Hannah. "Hannah, meet Crowley. King of Hell. Crowley, meet Hannah, an angel and a friend."

Crowley eyes the angel wearing Sam's body with a sort of disgusted fascination. "So you're riding the Moose into battle?"

Hannah blinks, clearly confused. She looks at me. I shake my head.

"Hopefully, Hannah will have finished healing Sam and vacated his body before any sort of battle takes place."

The demon snaps his attention back to me, all business once more. "If a battle is to take place against Abaddon, we all need to be operating at full capacity. You can't do that without your grace. So my point still stands. Get it back."

Hannah steps forward unexpectedly, eyes grave. "I agree."

"What?" I say, backing up a step, feeling rather hemmed in. "Hannah-"

"You are the most human angel I have ever met." She pauses. "But you still belong with your grace, and it with you. We of Heaven need you. To defeat Metatron, to defend Heaven and Earth from this Abaddon… and to lead us. To show us the way forward."

I very deliberately don't look at Dean, feeling oddly embarrassed by all of this. Hannah is borderline delusional in her assertion that I am the leader Heaven needs. "Look-"

"You know that you need your grace back, Castiel. I can see your soul. I know how you ache to be yourself once more." Her voice is final. I swallow. I can't really deny that I miss my grace, that I resent the limatations of being human, that I feel displaced and lost. Or at least I would, if not for Dean. Dean is what makes my fall from grace seem more than worth the pain. But getting my grace back wouldn't have to mean losing him, would it? If I could somehow balance both…

But what if Dean doesn't want me as an angel? What if I had it wrong when I was afraid that Dean preferred me with my powers? Maybe it's only as a human that he feels able to act upon his feelings for me.

"Well, then," Crowley drawls. I tear my eyes from Hannah's steady gaze and focus on him. "That's settled. I'll monitor the Abaddon situation. You lot work on restoring Castiel to his dubious former glory. Give me a call when you've done that and we'll talk about my… options."

His gaze flickers to Dean before he vanishes, the movement so quick that I almost don't see it. It makes my stomach curl in fear. What is Crowley planning?

"Well," says Sam weakly, sitting down and rubbing his forehead. "That felt weird as hell."

Kevin is leaning against a bookcase, arms folded, eyes troubled. He's looking at me.

"You're really getting your grace back?" he asks me quietly. I shrug, unsure. I don't want to risk my relationship with Dean, but Crowley and Hannah are right. If I want to really help, I need my grace.

"It seems like the sensible thing to do."

I hear a snort come from behind me and I turn to see Dean glaring harshly at me. "Sensible? Going after Metatron is not sensible."

I frown. "Dean, we were going to go after him anyway. We don't know what he and Gadreel are planning. They could even collude with Abaddon-"

"Yeah, right," sneers Dean, inexplicably furious, fists curled. I'm bewildered by his anger. "Because a couple of angels are really gonna team up with a Knight of Hell."

"Why not?" I snap, instinctively defensive against his aggression. "I've teamed up with Crowley and it looks like it's happening again, so-"

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out!"

"Dean…" Sam interjects, wary. Dean ignores him.

"Besides, I dunno if you keep forgetting, but you're not an angel any more, Cas."

"That's what I'm trying to fix!" I say loudly and sharply. Dean flinches and I swallow, unsure what I've said that's hurt him. There's a pause and when Dean speaks his voice is low and tight, vibrating with bitterness, as cold as his acidic eyes.

"Sorry you feel like you're broken. I didn't realise how fucking unhappy you were. Guess you won't have to stick around and worry about that for much longer, huh?"

I stand with my mouth open but no sound coming out, confused and panicked. Dean glowers at me, fists tight and trembling at his sides. There's some sort of challenge in his eyes, but I don't understand what it is or where the problem truly lies in the first place. I step forward and attempt to respond, several seconds too late, my voice weak and faint.

"Dean... I …"

Dean turns and walks out of the room.