AN: Hi everyone! Had some difficulty putting this chapter down. Chapters after it are written, just couldn't seem to get this on paper! Thanks for reading and sticking with it!

"No." Kylo said standing from the table that Rey and General Organa were seated at in the ship, they were still living in half of the time.

"Ren, you set this up. They will only deal with you." His mother ground out. "We need you. The Resistance needs you."

"And what about Rey and Jorgan? What happens if I do this and I don't come back?" He gestured at her then, noticing that Jorgan was fussing as he was raising his voice. Rey wouldn't look at him or the General. She adjusted Jorgan again, the fussy baby not helping her nerves.

The General squared her jaw then, looking at Rey and Jorgan before turning in her seat towards her son, or the remnants of her son and sighed. Maybe I should have sent Luke; the thought came to Leia then. "Listen, you set this up. You are the key. You need to decide if you want this to work. The Resistance needs Kylo Ren."

"I gave them to you thinking you would figure out a way to bring them fully into the Resistance. The plans haven't changed. You are all trying to bring down the First Order." He yelled causing Jorgan to start crying. Kylo pursed his lips and moved over to where Rey and Jorgan sat. Dipping down he leaned in towards the little girl, and spoke sweetly and softly to her then. "It's ok." He brushed a hand across the back of her head and reached for her. Rey reluctantly gave her up and stood as she distanced herself from Kylo and Leia.

"You worked years for this. Gave up so much to see the destruction of the First Order, and now you're just going to fade into history, forgotten?"

"No, not forgotten, just not my priority right now." He commented looking into Jorgan's chubby little face. He wondered at how the child had gotten so chubby on rations and the small amount of vegetables they'd managed to forage from the forest. He guessed it had something to do with Rey and the fact that she was still breastfeeding her. "Look I don't even know how I could help you even if we wanted to."

"We?" Rey said faintly, as if she was just now joining the conversation.

"Yes we. If you tell me not to go, I won't." He said coming to stand in front of her then, holding Jorgan between them. His voice was low and full of promises that he might not be able to uphold. Rey stood blinking up at him before her eyes fell to Jorgan. Her mind was racing with all of the possibilities that could happen; ones where the war continues forever, ones where he doesn't come back, all of the possible scenarios. She thinks of raising Jorgan by herself with the droids and feels a pang in her heart at the thought. Kylo's jaw stiffens as he feels her roll through all the emotions of weighing this decision.

Rey isn't sure how long she stands there looking between the two before she speaks, it might have been hours. "You should go." She says slowly as she reaches up to rub Jorgan's back as Kylo holds her, focusing on the feeling of wanting Jorgan to grow up without the looming First Order darkness that was spreading across the galaxy.

Kylo straightens realizing what she's just said before reaching his free hand under her chin to tip her gaze from Jorgan to him. He looks at her for the space of a few moments before nodding and handing the Jorgan to Rey. "Fine. Tell me the plan." Kylo says sitting at the table again with his mother.

"I can't believe you're ok with me going." He commented intently.

"I'm not." She says as she's pacing the room in the ship, their quarters for the time being. "But I'm also not ok with the First Order spreading and all that work you did going to waste. The thought that your father's death would be for nothing isn't an acceptable outcome for me."

Kylo watched her as he sat on the bed, trying not to let her anger in and stir his into frenzy. They'd left Jorgan with the General and the droids so they could hash out the details of what this would look like. It wasn't a onetime mission, it was going to end up being many missions, many times that he put himself into harm's way.

"Rey we don't have to do this. We don't have to sacrifice for the Resistance."

That stopped her in her tracks. Looking at Kylo she knew he didn't mean it, could feel it in the bond that there was a least a small part of him that wanted to go, needed to go. You know I know that isn't true, her thought came across his then. He frowned, his entire demeanor looking sour as he realized she could always feel all of it, all of what he was feeling the good, the bad, and sometimes the things he didn't want to admit to himself. Sometimes she was much better at pointing out what he was afraid to acknowledge.

"One of my biggest fears is leading all of that back here to you, to Jorgan. I don't know if I could live with myself if anyone ever harmed you because of my involvement."

Rey snorted. "Listen, Ren, if you think I can't protect the two of us without you...you need to seriously review our sparring matches."

"That's not what I meant." He mumbled.

"Then what did you mean?" She asked softly as she came to stand between his legs, putting a hand to his cheek before sliding into this hair. It was supposed to be a comforting gesture but she knew as the lust soared through their bond that it likely wasn't as comforting as she would have preferred. Pursing her lips, she gave him one of her signature 'Seriously?' looks and he elaborated, pushing down the flare they'd both just felt.

"I meant that I don't know what would happen to us or to me if anything were to happen to either one of you. You can take care of yourself, I know that. It isn't a rational fear Rey. It is a fear that I can't seem to stamp out, that knowing you are capable and fierce does nothing to quell this feeling when it comes." He growled looking away from here then, pulling himself out of her grip.

"Then we'll figure out how to not drag this home with you. Both of us." She brought her other hand up and turned his face back towards her. He looked up at her then, eyes glassy with emotion that he didn't like feeling.

"Okay." He breathed pulling her flush against him, both arms encircling her as he breathed against her stomach. Rey rested her hands on his shoulders as he snuggled against her, relieved. Slowly he moved his hands to either of her hips, pulling her into him until she didn't have a choice except to straddle him then. He sighed heavily lifting his head up towards her, pressing his face into her chest.

"Worried?" She asked sitting back so they were more even.

"Always." He breathed looking into her eyes. Neither of them mentioned the amount of anxiety they felt in the bond. Reaching out, he framed her face with his hands then, pulling her lips to his, kissing her sadly. They both knew what these missions could mean.

"What if I want to go with you?" She mumbled pulling back.

"What?" He opened his eyes then, confused.

"Let me come with you." She said. "We can leave Jorgan with your mother."

Kylo frowned, not liking the idea at all. "What if….what if we're both captured? Or killed?"

Rey sat back then in his lap, all lusty thoughts gone from both of their minds. She thought about that for a moment, not liking the feelings that rose when she thought about Jorgan being without either of them growing up; too much, like how she'd grown up. It was why she'd left the Resistance in the first place.

"Let me go with you." She repeated. "I hear what you're saying but I don't want to sit here, waiting for you to come back, worried sick the entire time."

Kylo stood, placing Rey on her feet before moving past her. Moving to get away from her then in the small space, knowing it was a futile gesture. He didn't want them both to endanger themselves. He was silent for a long time before speaking.

"Fine." He nodded slowly, anger flaring through the bond. "But you do exactly as I say. Or you will stay in the shuttle, understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!" She saluted with the wrong hand. That caused him to crack a smile.

The specifics were worked out over the next few days as Leia started to relax at staying with Kylo and Rey as Jorgan became the center of their attention. The little girl loved having the rapt attention of all three of them throughout the day.

They argued about how to keep any tracers from being implanted in them or put on his ship. Which would require trips to the Resistance base before and after his mission, something he was loath to do but saw the necessity of it.

TBC...