Guilt
"We can't sue her–"
"Oh yes, we can. We absolutely can," Stef said confidently as she stared seriously at Callie. The law. That was something she knew more than any one, certainly more than Justina. There was no way in hell she would let that woman get away with this. This was one thing she knew she would definitely be able to protect Callie from.
"No," the teen answered leaving both of them slightly confused. "...We can't because it's true," Callie finally admitted out of nothing but guilt. Ever since she found out she was getting adopted, the shame from what they did had been eating away at her. It had constantly been following her around like a dark cloud.
Callie thought she'd die first before ever telling anyone in the family but Stef left her with no other choice. Her mom would be willing to put herself on the line here and Callie knew it.
But for what?
A lie?
"We can't sue," she repeated as she moved her gaze down toward Stef's hands instead of looking both of her mothers in the eyes. When she first told them, she attempted to remain strong by staring directly at them when she said it. But the disappointment on both of their faces made her feel extremely uncomfortable. Her fear was evident in her posture and the shakiness in her voice. "...I'm sorry," she repeated, almost looking up at Stef but then forcing herself to avert her gaze again.
Both women stared silently at the teen as they attempted to process what they just heard slip out of Callie's mouth. Neither had ever expected their daughter or son to admit to something like this, and it was almost the very last thought from their minds after hearing what that reported said. They only knew of the kiss and just assumed they put a stop to the romance as soon as Callie came back from Girls United. They never, in a million years, would've accepted it as the truth if it weren't for Callie reiterating it in front of them.
Stef swallowed hard and she could see the anxiety written all over Callie. What was most obvious to Stef was the slight trembling in the teen's face and body, something of which Callie wasn't even aware that she was doing.
The blonde was angry, very angry. But she knew better. She knew that it would be a horrible idea to let it show. Especially, when she was more upset with herself than she could ever be with either of her children.
Both, her and Lena, were right there in front of them all along.
They must've missed something.
They must've not enforced the rules enough.
There must've been something they could've done.
And aside from all of that, neither woman could be angry when they saw just how badly Callie regretted it and how much Callie had been punishing herself for quite some time.
"You and Brandon..." Stef stopped when she felt as if she physically couldn't finish the sentence. She took in a slow and quiet breath and forced herself to say it. If Callie could tell us this, I could certainly be able to discuss it, she rationalized. "You and Brandon had sex?" she asked the teen in a calm tone which unintentionally depicted a hint of sadness too.
Lena moved her gaze over to Stef and breathed in through her nose, trying to study her wife's attempt to handle the situation. After the way the cop had been blowing up at her children lately, she wasn't sure how well Stef had a handle on her anger just yet. She honestly wasn't entirely sure how her wife would react when Callie initially told them but she could tell that Stef was trying to remain calm.
Callie stiffened at her mother's question. What would admitting it again mean for her? she wondered. This was bad. This was really bad.
Lena sensed the obvious resistance in her daughter's silence. She was clearly afraid. Afraid of their reaction, afraid of what would happen if she told them the truth? Lena wasn't exactly sure. Regardless, the woman didn't want this moment that they were having now to be the moment that would make Callie feel as if she'd lose their place in their family. She didn't want to instill fear in her daughter at a time when she decided to confide in them about something important like this.
Lena put her hand on her daughter's knee and sat beside her on the sofa. "It's okay," she attempted to reassure her, letting her daughter know that they weren't as upset about the revelation as Callie thought they'd be or as they should be.
Callie finally looked up to face one of them and to all of their surprise, it was Stef she was searching for. She almost felt the same disappointment she thought Stef was feeling just by the look her mother was giving her. "I'm so sorry," she finally blurted out again. "You must think I'm disgusting," Callie sobbed, allowing for a mess of tears to flow down her eyes and onto her cheeks at the thought of someone she respected and loved so much suddenly hating her.
Stef felt terrible after hearing Callie's words. She knew that her inability to react right then and there, caused her daughter to think this about herself. And it was far from the truth. "No, no, no," she quickly responded softly as she knelt down so that she was closer toward her daughter in order to gain more traction with her. Lena grabbed Callie's hand and squeezed it to offer the teen some more reassurance, while Stef placed both hands up to her daughter's face and brushed her tears away with her thumbs. She paused and stared into Callie's eyes and could see that even more tears were beginning to form in them. "No, baby. I don't think that at all."
Callie tried to shake her head away which stopped Stef from talking, "No, I messed up. I AM disgusting," she raised her voice. "I should have said something before you two adopted me. I'm a liar… I'm nothing," she mumbled lastly as she felt the guilt riding up and overwhelming her so much that she honestly began to think that it was true. These people had done so much for her. They took her and her brother in, gave them unconditional love and a roof over her head along with all of the love in the world...And what had she done to repay them? Sleep with their son? What did this maker her?
She WAS nothing.
Stef attempted to hold Callie's head still in order to get her to stop shaking. "No, you're not. You're not disgusting. You're not nothing, baby. Don't think that. Please don't ever think that," Stef tried to coo. The blonde glanced over toward Lena when she felt Callie stop resisting.
"Callie… Honey, it's okay. You made a mistake. We're not going to hold that against you... Or Brandon," Lena tried to console her as she put her hand on Callie's back and began to massage it in a circular motions. "Don't hold it against yourself... That only hurts you," the woman paused as she tried to get her to understand that part most importantly. "There's no reason to put that much blame on yourself for something that you can't take back. And it doesn't doesn't change how much we love you."
Callie remained silent as she began to process how well her mothers were taking it and how understanding they were being about all of it. This was far from what she expected to happen.
"It doesn't change anything," Stef clarified as she grabbed onto Callie's hands and cupped them with both of hers. "Everyone makes mistakes. You're allowed to make them too."
The teen felt like she was in a daze as she stared at the two of them in confusion. It seemed as if she completely forgot how to speak and wondered if she would even be able to at all now.
"You're still a part of this family," Lena voiced sternly and hoped that that would be enough to get through to her.
"...I can't take it back," she finally confessed as she stared Lena in the eyes. And even though what she meant was that she wouldn't take it back if she could, both moms took it as she wished she could.
"We know," Stef nodded as if she understood what Callie was trying to say. But the only person who knew the real truth was Brandon. And as long as it was up to the teen, she would keep it that way.
"We still love you and we're glad you told us," Lena let her know as she kept running her hand in circles on her back. Despite not really wanting to hear the news, this was a big step for Callie. Both women knew that deep down Callie already felt as if she had a permanent place in their family and trusted them enough to tell them the truth. Otherwise, she would've never came clean today. She wasn't afraid that they'd abandon her immediately after they heard her and Brandon had sex.
She knew they wouldn't.
"And we're proud of you and Brandon for realizing what was most important here," Stef felt the need to point out. "What was most important was what you needed, yes?" Stef asked for clarification.
Callie sniffled and nodded silently.
"Relationships come and go but family is forever," Lena answered for her daughter.
"And that's exactly what we wanted you both to see," Stef gave her daughter a soft smile and hoped that she would get one in return. But Callie nodded assertively which was a good enough answer for her. "Come here," she said before leaning in closer toward Callie and throwing her arms around her in a comforting embrace. Lena joined in and placed three kisses on the side of Callie's head.
The guilt was lost.
Author's Note: I wasn't happy that they left the scene half-ass and couldn't wait until June or whenever the heck the show is coming back. Too darn impatient and needed something to ease my stress. Hopefully this helped some of you :)