DOUBLE DATE

It had been six weeks since Mike went to jail.

It had taken six weeks for Harvey Specter to come to terms with what had happened.

It had taken six weeks for him to feel like himself again.

All he had done in the last six weeks was work. He hadn't put in so many hours since he was a young associate, keen to prove himself. They'd all been in it together. Jessica had been there every step of the way, leading her team. Did she still blame him for what happened to her firm? 'She probably always will', thought Harvey resignedly. Louis blamed him, but they had pulled together to fight back against their competitors and they were now on better terms than they'd ever been. He couldn't believe Louis had been the first to forgive him. Vindictive, petty Louis? Who'd have thought it possible? Rachel blamed him too and she was angry that Mike was in jail while he was enjoying his life. If only she knew how little he was enjoying his life. He should tell her, but what was the point? Happy or sad, at least he was free. Rachel was hurting more than anyone and Donna had been there for her day-in, day-out. She'd stayed with her at her apartment, she'd took her on shopping trips, she'd arranged 'girlie' (whatever the hell that meant) nights in. He wouldn't admit it to anybody, but he'd been a little bit jealous of the time Donna had spent with Rachel. He needed Donna too, but she was preoccupied with Rachel. Donna was the only person who didn't blame him.

He had booked a table at La Grenouille on East 52nd Street a week ago. He was very lucky to have managed to get a reservation for the top French restaurant at such short notice, but he remembered she had liked it when they'd visited three years ago. How much had changed in three years. He looked at his face in the mirror as he fastened the cufflinks of his shirt. He still had it, of course. He knew he was good-looking, but he also knew there were a few more lines around his eyes than there used to be – most of them appearing in the last six months. He didn't mind the wrinkles too much and he decided he'd ultimately go for the 'distinguished' look. George Clooney could pull it off, even with the grey hair, so why couldn't he?

He didn't know why he'd asked her out tonight. He didn't know what the trigger had been. He'd last seen her during Mike's trial and he'd asked if it would be okay if he called her when it was all over, but what now? Did he love her? Was he ready? Did he even want to go down that road again? Scottie had blamed Mike for their break-up, but he had told her it had been his fault, not Mike's. They'd known each other since they were in college. She was his mirror image – bright, ambitious, dedicated, confident, arrogant … yes, she was arrogant too. He'd seen her in action more times than he could count and she was a winner. Well, except, when she went up against him.

The truth was he didn't know why he was taking Scottie out tonight, so he was open to anything happening between them. If she was up for it, he'd probably take her back to his apartment, after all it had been a while since … who? Since Esther. God that was ages ago, he recalled as his stomach churned against the memory of his sexual encounter with Louis's sister. He wished he could take that back. His relationship with Louis – his one-time nemesis and a persistent pain in his ass for over a decade – was too important. Why had he put all the progress he'd made with Louis in jeopardy for one night of decidedly average sex with his sister? God he was an idiot sometimes.

When Ray arrived to take him to La Grenouille he smiled as he remembered how Scottie had shunned his offer of picking her up. 'I think I can make my own way to a restaurant, Harvey,' she'd said with mock derision. That was her all over. Scottie was nobody's fool.

The meal had went well. They'd talked about his fight to rebuild the firm. She'd admitted a couple of Pearson Specter Litt's clients had landed in her lap and she apologised … half-heartedly … for signing them. Harvey knew she knew he'd have done the same if their roles were reversed. Business was business.

When they'd finished dinner they went to a new Russian vodka bar that had just opened up the street. It was lively and trendy and full of successful people having a good time. Scottie had been before and he could see why. The deco of the bar even complimented her appearance. Black and silver. Stainless steel light fixtures against glittery lacquered silver counters and black worktops. She was wearing silver tonight. A slinky sequined halter-neck dress which displayed her bare back and clung to her petite frame like a second skin. Scottie always knew how to dress to suit her stature. She was a tiny woman, but she packed more than a punch into every inch of her body.

They found a quiet corner of the bar to talk.

"So you've had therapy too?" asked Scottie. "I never thought I'd see the day when the great Harvey Specter admitted he needed help."

"Oh, I've always known I needed help in the relationship department, Scottie," confessed Harvey, "believe me I was under no illusions that my boyfriend skills were way behind my bedroom skills.

Scottie laughed and spluttered some of her drink out of the corner of her mouth, wiping it away with her hand, "still as modest as ever I see," she joked.

"Just telling you how it is," said Harvey with a proud smirk.

Just then something, or rather somebody, caught his eye. He would have recognised her anywhere, as he stared out over the bar to the two people who'd just arrived. He guessed who the man was, but he was looking at her. That familiar shade of red hair which stood out in the crowded bar like a torch of light drawing him in. It was different tonight. It was fuller and wavier, framing her face like a lion's mane and curling in copper coils down her back. She was wearing navy blue lace and sequins – the dress clinging to her body, but giving way to a shimmery skirt that was much longer than her usual above-the-knee style.

"Is that … Donna?" asked Scottie, breaking Harvey out of his gaze. She had been talking to him the whole time, but he hadn't been listening to her.

"Yeah," he said uneasily, snapping back to her. He hoped Donna hadn't seen him. He didn't want to meet her boyfriend. He'd decided months ago that he just didn't want to know. She could do whatever she wanted in private as long as he had her where it mattered – at work – and outside of hours when he needed her.

Scottie noticed his expression change. "What's the deal there then? Who's the guy?"

"Err … Mitchell I think his name is," said Harvey.

Scottie stuck her tongue into the hollow of her cheek and rolled her eyes. "You've never met him, have you?" she said.

"Why would I need to meet him?" barked Harvey a little too snippily for his own liking.

"Perhaps because he's your best friend's boyfriend," said Scottie. She wasn't overly surprised by his attitude. Harvey Specter found it difficult to think of anybody but himself.

He dared to glance back at them. They were at the bar getting drinks. Mitchell had his back to him wearing a grey shirt – no jacket – and darker grey trousers. 'Dull' he thought. He'd had a picture of the man Mitchell would be in his mind ever since she'd revealed to him that she was seeing someone. He was pleased to see he was older than he'd imagined with muddy dark blonde hair. Was he good looking? Well probably, but not as good looking as he was. He was tall and had a strong, muscular frame, but he wasn't as fit as he was either. He probably worked out, but … god, why the hell was he competing like a teenager with this man?

"Do you want to go over?" asked Scottie.

"No," said Harvey quickly. Jesus Christ that was the last thing he wanted.

"Well I do," said Scottie mischievously as she picked up her drink and disappeared into the crowd of people.

"Goddamn it Scottie," muttered Harvey as he stumbled after her. He wanted more than anything to stay hidden, but he would have looked as stupid as hell if Scottie had went off to talk to Donna and Mitchell while he was left cowering in the corner of the bar.

X

He could see Donna swing around and greet Scottie, before introducing her briefly to Mitchell. The man smiled and offered her his hand. What a dick, he thought for absolutely no logical reason. He just decided he was a dick. That's what he wanted to believe.

And then their eyes locked. Donna looked surprised to see him, but then she smiled widely. She knew him better than anybody. She knew he'd be feeling awkward.

"Hi Harvey," she said. "After ten hours spent in the office with you, you're just the person I wanted to bump into tonight." It was a joke, but Harvey couldn't help wonder if there was a trace of truth in her statement.

"What can I say?" said Harvey with a smirk, "I'm pretty hard to get away from."

Donna stared at him blankly … 'what was she thinking?' thought Harvey. Wow this was difficult. "So, introduction time, I guess," she said finally. "Harvey, this is Mitchell."

Mitchell stepped forward and extended his hand. It was the first time they'd looked each other in the eye and Harvey could tell Mitchell was feeling exactly the same way about him that he was feeling about Mitchell. Suspicious. Harvey shook Mitchell's hand, offered him a false smile, then promptly turned away.

His frostiness wasn't lost on Scottie or Donna. He could tell by their faces. 'Shit, Harvey, say something positive,' he said to himself. "So, have you been anywhere nice this evening?" he said to both of them.

"Yeah, we've been out to a new Thai restaurant close to Soho," said Donna. Cheap and cheerful thought Harvey, wondering what crappy job Mitchell did for a living. Judging by his off-the-peg shirt, he wasn't making a fortune. "And you?"

"We were at La Grenouille just up from here," said Scottie. "It was nice, but my fish was a bit overdone."

"You should have sent it back," said Harvey.

"Well, maybe," said Scottie, "sometimes you don't want to let complaining ruin a good evening." She smiled at Harvey and he smiled back at her. 'It had been a good evening – past tense,' he thought.

"So are you guys together?" asked Mitchell innocently.

Harvey's stomach lurched and he looked at Donna. She looked away, embarrassed. "Err … no," said Harvey.

"We used to be together a while back," interjected Scottie. "We're just out for old time's sake tonight, aren't we Harvey?"

Harvey nodded but he still felt like he'd been caught out? Why was he feeling like this? He was feeling guilty for taking his ex-girlfriend out, why? Because of Donna? Because he knew how she felt about him? Donna had moved on and she was with Mitchell now, so what was his problem? He could go out whenever and with whomever he wanted.

"And what about you two? Harvey didn't tell me you were seeing anyone, Donna," said Scottie, looking pleased that Harvey's best friend … his soulmate … was paired up and, maybe, out of the way. She hadn't completely trusted Donna because of the power she had over Harvey. When they were together Harvey always turned to Donna when he needed to talk something over – he never turned to her. Donna knew Harvey better than Scottie ever did and she managed – god only knows how – to put up with him.

"Well I can't imagine how my being in a relationship would have come up in conversation between the two of you," said Donna, "but we've been together for what? Six months now?"

"Seven I think," said Mitchell with a smile. "We met at the theatre. I like to help out behind the scenes from time to time, you know, lighting, props, that kind of thing. So, I guess I was in the best place to snag the leading lady."

Ugh! He is a dick, though Harvey. Who the hell uses the word 'snag' to talk about hooking up with their girlfriend?

"So what do you do, Mitchell?" asked Harvey. This was what he really wanted to know – not that it was a pissing contest (much).

"I'm an engineer," said Mitchell.

"Oh, really?" said Harvey. 'That explains the crap shirt' he thought. "Mechanical, technical …?"

"Civil," said Mitchell. "I'm the guy keeping the city's infrastructure moving."

"Fascinating," beamed Harvey. In his mind, he'd won and he was happy. He'd scored the glamour points and the wealth points and the exciting lifestyle points. But then he looked over at Donna and he could see in her eyes that she was furious. He twisted his face at her as if to say 'you know what I'm like – just having a bit of fun'. She sighed and looked away. She was disappointed in him and he felt ashamed.

Harvey bought them all a round of drinks, making his a triple. This wasn't the way he had planned the evening. Mitchell was holding his own, not letting Harvey's childishness get the better of him. He watched him cracking jokes with Scottie, regaling her with tales of the goddamn New York subway of all things. She threw her head back as she laughed out loud at his stories about rats and tramps and criminals living in the subway tunnels. Donna, on the other hand, wasn't saying much, she politely smiled and laughed along with them, but she was withdrawn from the conversation. It wasn't as if she was taking any notice of Harvey either. She was refusing to make eye contact with him, so he took himself off and got another triple vodka, downed it, and then moved onto the scotch. They were serving scotch in a vodka bar? Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all.

It wasn't long before the fact that he'd had far more to drink than the others was becoming obvious. He didn't care. He hadn't wanted to come over to meet Mitchell in the first place and now? Well, if they were going to exclude him, then they could knock themselves out.

They'd moved on from the riveting conversation about the subway to talk about Mitchell's work on renovating the Williamsburg Bridge. Harvey had lost the will to live. "Is everybody ready for another drink?" he asked, hoping to drown out the boredom.

"How many have you had?" asked Scottie, noticing his slurred speech.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "who's counting?"

"Here, I think it's my turn," said Mitchell, "let me get these."

"Oh no, it's okay," said Harvey, "I'm onto the Macallan now and it's not cheap."

"Its fine, Harvey, please let me get this round in," said Mitchell again.

"I'd find out how much a glass of Macallan 30 costs before you jump the gun there, Mitchell," said Harvey patronisingly.

"Oh for fuck's sake Harvey why are you being such a dick?" snapped Donna through clenched teeth. She'd been getting steadily more and more agitated by him as the night went on. She narrowed her eyes and shot him a deadly glare. He was too drunk to care. He would just bring her an apology coffee on Monday morning, then she'd yell at him and tell him the coffee wasn't going to cut it, but by the end of the day they'd be back to normal. That was how it had always been.

Scottie thought it best that she step in at this point. "I think he's just had a little bit too much to drink," she said to Mitchell apologetically. She turned to Harvey, "alright tiger, maybe it's time we got you home."

"At last," he sighed. "At last she realises I'm bored and I want to go home. Beam me up Scottie!"

"What the hell's got into you, Harvey?" said Scottie. "Why are you doing this?"

He didn't know why. His snarky behaviour had spiralled out of control. He couldn't even remember what had started it. It was going to take a miracle to get things back on track tonight. Mitchell hadn't done anything to offend him. Well, aside from existing. He had entered Donna's life and he had taken 'that' piece of her. It was the piece Harvey had shied away from for thirteen years – the personal, the romantic, the committed – he'd had his chance, but he ran away. It wasn't Mitchell's fault, but he still hated him. Harvey knew that he and he alone had started the pissing contest when they'd met earlier, but he knew Donna wasn't bothered by all the things he had chosen to points score with. Donna didn't care who had the best job, who was the best looking, who earned the most money. All she wanted was to be loved – like all women wanted to be loved. Mitchell had won at that. He had won at the only thing that mattered. That was the main reason why he hated him.

Harvey didn't answer Scottie. He went back to the bar instead, and ordered the next round of drinks, totally ignoring Mitchell's protestations. When he returned Scottie took her drink and downed it. "I think it's time I call it a night," she said. "Pleasure to meet you Mitchell, take care Donna," she said before she walked away.

"Are you just going to let her go?" whispered Donna with urgency as she watched Scottie slink off.

Harvey looked away and shrugged.

"That's just like you isn't it? You've been a dick all night, you've ruined her evening and then you let her hail her own cab and leave." She stood with one hand on her hip, reprimanding him like he was a spoiled child. He knew he was acting like a child, so he took it on the chin.

"Scottie is more than capable of getting herself home," he said dismissively.

"So, that's that?" yelled Donna, "you're going to leave things like that? What the hell's the matter with you?"

Mitchell stepped forward recognising the situation was escalating. "Maybe I should go," he said quietly to Donna. "Looks like he's having a rough time. Maybe he just needs a friend to talk to."

"You're not leaving me alone to look after this asshole," she said. "I've worked myself ragged all week for him and this isn't the way I envisaged spending my Friday night."

"Why what did you have planned tonight?" said Harvey swaying on his feet. He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in close to her chest, "bow chicka wow wow?"

Donna raised her eyebrow at him, "seriously?" she said in disbelief at his childishness, screwing up her mouth, "grow up, you idiot."

"I need to go pee," he said, stumbling away to the men's room.

Donna watched him go, shaking her head at the state of him. "I'm sorry Mitchell," she said, "what a night, eh? I've absolutely no idea what's got into him."

"Oh I've a fair idea," said Mitchell.

"You have?" asked Donna with a nervous laugh, her eyes narrowing and pleading with him to continue.

"He's in love with you."

"What?" gasped Donna, "Mitchell … I …?"

"Don't worry, I know … I've been with you over six months Donna, and I knew what your life was like before we hooked up. I didn't say anything about the amount of time you spent with him at the office because I saw how hard it was for you when you lost Mike and then when the firm was in trouble, but … I just think you deserve better and … yeah, I knew. I knew things were more complicated between you and Harvey than I'd ever understand. Thirteen years is a long time."

"What are you saying Mitchell?" asked Donna, her hazel eyes buried under her long eyelashes and furrowed brow.

"I'm saying you need to sort things out with Harvey."

She shook her head and sighed. She'd been trying to sort things out with Harvey for years. "Okay, I'll talk to him and I'll send him off home. I'm really sorry, Mitchell," she said. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Well, I'm not saying I understand. I've only met him tonight and he's been a complete asshole. Donna, I'm not going to strong-arm you on this. You know how I feel about you and if you want me to be the one, then you know where to find me. But you need to sort him out first."

He saw Harvey making his way back to them, drunkenly bumping into people as he passed, so he leaned over to Donna and kissed her on her forehead. "Give me a call and let me know the score as soon as you can," he said before turning and walking to the door.

Donna looked after him and felt pangs of sadness. Poor Mitchell. He didn't deserve to be embroiled in her and Harvey's fucked up relationship. He deserved better.

X

"Where's Romeo off to," said Harvey as he finally crossed the bar to find her. The sleeve of his suit jacket was soaking wet thanks to somebody's vodka and lime cocktail landing on him when he fell into them. He brushed the damp off half-heartedly, wondering for a moment if he should ring his sleeve out.

"He's gone home," said Donna.

"Good," said Harvey. "Nice guy Donna I'm sure, but Jesus he's boring. What's with all of that bridge building shit?"

"Yeah, not half as riveting as all the corporate legal shit, is it?"

"No it isn't. Where does he live?"

"In a house?"

"Really?" said Harvey sarcastically.

"Why do you care, Harvey?"

"I just want to make sure he's able to look after you."

"He could look after me very well, Harvey, but this isn't 1950. Mitchell is an excellent engineer and he has a decent salary, but I know how to look after myself."

"Well, I pay your salary Donna … so …"

"Harvey, what the hell?" said Donna in disbelief. "Why are you saying these things to me? You've been a piece of shit to me all night. Scottie and Mitchell have gone home early because of you and your bullshit behaviour, so let's have it! What have I done?"

Harvey's face was unreadable as he stared past her refusing to answer. Obviously something was bothering him and she wasn't going to let it go. "Harvey, I'm tired of this. We're continually going round and round in circles, here. You make half-hearted confessions, only to backtrack later, then you follow this up with jealousy and then comes the shitty behaviour. Round and round it goes, so by that calculation I'm due yet another half-hearted confession, aren't I?"

He stared into his glass, swirling round the dregs of scotch that clung to the bottom. His head hurt. He'd had far too much to drink and he knew he was going to suffer for it in the morning. Thank god it was Saturday.

"I need another drink," he slurred.

"No Harvey, you don't. You really, really don't," said Donna, "you just need to tell me how you're feeling."

"You know how I'm feeling."

"No … I don't."

"I told you."

"When?"

"That night in your apartment. I told you."

Donna froze as she slowly pieced together what Harvey was talking about. 'That night in your apartment'. The night he had told her 'but with you it's different'. The night he admitted he'd set her apart. The night he chose to run rather than face his feelings. The night he'd told her he loved her.

"Harvey, if you're saying what I think you're saying then you only have yourself to blame for this. You ran away that night. You told me you loved me then … what?" she laughed as she remembered the conversation which led her to leave him and go to work for Louis, "you said you told me you loved me because you wanted to make me feel better for running away and not spending the night with me. That was a year ago, Harvey. And you've said nothing to me since. What do you expect me to do? Put my life on hold until you make up your mind what you want? Not try to have a relationship with anybody else just because you told me you loved me, but were afraid to act on your feelings … or even … or even acknowledge your goddamn feelings to yourself?"

Harvey's face flushed pink as he listened to her. She was angry and she was frustrated. He didn't blame her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know I've been an ass. I just didn't know how to deal with how I felt back then."

"And now you do?" sneered Donna. She didn't believe for one second that he was ever going to 'man-up'. "I can't live my life like this, Harvey," she said.

"What if I was to tell you right here and now that I do love you," he said with his eyes fixed to the floor. He turned to look at her. He needed to see her face when he did this so he took a deep breath and continued. "What if I was to say I loved you from the first moment we met? That day you asked to come work at my desk when you were wearing that funny beige knitted top? What if I was to tell you I hated you for having that stupid rule of yours? What if I was to tell you I wanted to scream 'till I was blue in the face when you broke that rule for Stephen Huntley, but you wouldn't break it for me?"

Donna shifted nervously, "are you saying those things to me?" she asked cautiously.

Harvey nodded. "Donna, I wanted to stay that night in your apartment, but what would have happened in the morning? You would have re-instated your rule and we'd never talk about it again."

"Or you would have brushed it off like it never happened in the first place …"

"So, where do we go from here?"

"That depends on you," said Donna.

"On me?"

"Yes, you know where I stand, Harvey. I've told you."

"And what about Mitchell?"

"Mitchell's a good man, but he isn't you," she confessed.

"So you mean?" he asked, not quite comprehending what she was saying to him. 'Did she just say she would dump Mitchell for me?' he pondered. "Donna, you're going to have to spell it out for me. I've had too much to drink and I can't read you the way you can read me. Please talk to me, or I'll say something stupid and screw this up like I always do."

Donna looked into his eyes and held his gaze for a moment, touching his arm gently in assurance. "Harvey, I told you I loved you that night I decided to go work for Louis. What did you think that meant?" she searched his face for the answer she was looking for, but he just stared back blankly. He was confused. "It meant that I didn't just love you as a friend, or a brother, or a cousin … it meant I was in love with you. It meant that I stuck it out for thirteen years because I enjoyed being around you. Every time we cracked a joke in the office – every time you told me I'd done a great job – every time you made me feel like I was part of the reason for your success. That was what kept me going. I knew you weren't ready for a relationship when we slept together that one time and part of the reason I kept pushing you towards other women was so I could free myself from the waiting." Her eyes filled with tears as she continued, "I didn't really understand that I'd been waiting for you until that night in my apartment, but I had. I've been waiting for you to be ready for thirteen years."

Now it was Harvey's eyes' turn to glaze over. "Donna, I didn't know," he said.

"Didn't you?" said Donna as tears started to fall gently down her face. 'How hadn't he known?'

"Well, I wondered," he said truthfully, "but I wasn't sure."

"Well, Harvey, that's because you didn't want to know for sure, isn't it?" she sniffed.

Harvey nodded. She was right. "I guess I was scared. You're the most important person in my entire life. You asked 'how' I love you, remember?"

"uh-huh." How could she forget?

"Well I didn't answer you not because I 'wouldn't'. I didn't answer you because 'I love you' doesn't seem enough."

Wow. 'Did Harvey Specter just say that to me?' thought Donna. She felt uneasy. This wasn't like him. She expected skirting around the issue and a half-hearted attempt to make her feel better because he just couldn't ever get to the place he needed to be to risk a relationship. That's what she expected him to say. 'I don't want to risk what we have.' But instead she gets … almost … poetry.

"People say, 'I love you' all the time," he said jadedly, "that isn't enough. It doesn't explain how I feel about you, but there isn't another word. Do you understand?"

"I'm not sure." She was stunned.

"You're the only person, aside from my dad, who's always been there for me. Every time in the past when I told you I needed you or that I couldn't 'be me without you', I meant that. I'd be sitting in a prison cell right now if you hadn't shown me you had faith in me. You stopped me from turning myself in over Mike. Nobody has ever made me feel good about myself the way you do. You are part of me and … well look what losing you to Louis did to me. I can't lose you, again. That's why …" his voice broke and he surprised himself with the strength of his emotions, "… that's why I didn't want to risk ruining our relationship because I'd rather fight with you every single day over some stupid shit I've done or how boring I think Mitchell is than not have you at all."

"Why would you not have me?"

"Because I can't do relationships. I never have been able to."

"Yes you can."

He looked at her in shock. 'What the hell is she talking about?' he shook his head. She still wasn't getting it. "Donna, I know you've seen me stumble from one woman to the next, so you know what I mean. I screw things up all the time."

"You wouldn't screw it up if you were actually … really … properly in love with someone."

"How do you know?" asked Harvey. He saw her reaction and started to smile. "Because you're Donna?" he said knowingly.

"Yup. And you know how Donna I am," she said. "And you know how much Donna has faith in you."

Harvey gulped. There it was again. Her unwavering faith in him. "So … are we doing this?"

"I don't think we have a choice, Harvey. We either give ourselves a chance or we live the rest of our lives trying to make things work with people who aren't … well us. If you think about it, we know each other so well that we've been living like husband and wife for most of the last thirteen years anyway."

"Yeah, the nagging was tough," he said with a smirk.

She playfully punched him in the arm, then stopped and smiled at him.

"So the only thing we've missed out on is the sex … thirteen years of sex," said Harvey teasingly "That's a hell of a lot of sex to catch up on. How do you fancy getting a head start on that tonight?"

"I could be persuaded," she purred as he leant in for a kiss.

He took her home to her apartment that night and this time, he stayed. He didn't run away. In fact, he stayed all weekend and when Monday came, they both went back to the office ready to face the world even more united than they'd ever been before.