The rain lashed down upon the car, bright slashes of refracted headlights preceding my journey through the night as the full beams illuminated the falling water. Trees and fields passed the windows as I made my way down the motorway in the cab of an old, slightly rusty and beaten pick-up a friend's father owned. Said friend had loaned it some time ago and it was long-past due a return, but I'd been able to talk my way into hijacking it at least for a little while. The sound of a static-laced rendition of 'Blues is my middle name' warbled from the radio as more and more countryside got between the antenna and whatever radio tower I was relying on. Soon enough, I just knew it was going to give out entirely and I'd find myself making this trip in deafening silence once more.

Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and there'll be some local pirate station operated by a mammal with taste. I let out an amused huff; there's probably more chance of finding a decent bar where the beer isn't watered and the whiskey isn't spoiled.

"Nick, I swear, if you do not stop narrating this trip like some hard-boiled noir movie PI, I am going to crash us into a tree."

The small grey doe in the driver's seat had taken over the driving about an hour before, and she kept the car straight for now but I could see the corner of her right eyelid twitch every now and again as her frustrations with me grew. It would only be a matter of time before she ended us both with a shriek of steel and a ball of flames. All it would take is a harsh tug on the steering wheel and that'd be the end of it.

"Nicholas. Seriously."
"... I'm bored."
"I'm Judy; darned pleased to meet 'ya, Bored."
"That joke is as old as the hills."
"And yet still somehow better than your little monologue."
"I will have you know that I am an extremely good narrator."
"You just love the sound of your own voice."
"Who wouldn't love a voice like this?"
"Me. I don't like your narrator voice."
"You are boring and wouldn't know awesome if it bit you."
"I would so know if I had been 'bitten by awesome'."
"I've bitten you, ergo you have been bitten by awesome."
"I've been bitten by you, not awesome. You are like your taste in music and shirts; old, tacky and behind the times. Stuck about a decade in the past."
"There is nothing wrong with Bray Charles. That zebra is a legend in his own time, and my shirts are fashionable. And you can say whatever you like, I happen to know you enjoyed being bitten by me."
"Uh-huh... sure thing, Nick. Being nibbled by you was easily one of the most enjoyable experiences of my entire life. Just thinking about it makes me hot; I want you, I need you, oh baby oh baby."
"... Could you say that again, only this time instead of rolling your eyes and saying it completely deadpan maybe put a little emotion into it. I could spend the next however-long having some really awesome dreams."
"No."
"Spoilsport. How much longer to Bunnyburrow?"
"Another hour and a half, if the road is still this clear and the rain doesn't let up. An hour if it stops in the next five minutes; I can speed up a bit then."
"How wonderful."
"It'll be over before you know it."
"If Kung-Fu Bunny has been practising his damned face-kicks recently, it won't matter how long the trip is and I'll have the experience knocked out of me for good once more."
"Nick, my dad has said he's sorry-"
"I know! And I forgave him a long time ago; hell, he even paid for me to get that enamel tooth implanted, but all of you refuse to tell me about what actually happened."
"... There's good reasons why."
"Good cabbage-and-cinnamon-scented reasons? What even smells like that?!"
"... I can't say."
"I just want to know. Please. It can't be that bad- you just winced."
"What, me? Uh... no-no-no, not me. Nuh-uh. I, er... a bug hit the windscreen."
"... One of these days, Judy, I will find out."
"... We're all sworn to secrecy. For your own good."
"Well that is just dandy, isn't it?"
"It's for your own good, I swear."
"We'll see, Fluff. We'll see."

"..."

I settled back into the threadbare upholstery of my seat, the faded fabric embracing me uncomfortably. I could practically feel the aged material trying to leech pigment from my red fur in an attempt to give itself life once more, and-

"Nicholas Piberius Wilde, if you start that again I will kill us both."
"Okay, okay; fine. Jeez..."