Frisk sat on the ground, their hands planted firmly on their knees. They gasped and panted rather desperately, as if they had been without air for minutes on end.

"What… the hell… just happened, Sans?"

"well, i'm not quite sure. we should be in another timeline. or universe. we never quite worked out the bugs."

"We're in another universe? What? Why would that be a thing!?"

"this is how the other kid got here. chara. they used the SWAP."

"Was it really necessary to demonstrate it?"

"eh. it doesn't really matter. we can always just go back. but don't worry. the SWAP doesn't affect time, just space. so technically, when we go back, not a single second will have passed."

"Well, that's a relief. Now, um… where's the SWAP?"

"that's the thing. for some reason, there's margin for error in the machine, and it seems to drop you off in a point of space relative to your experiences in life. what would you consider your "starting point," kid? first thing that comes to mind."

"The very first thing? A starting point? Well… the RUINS. I guess."

Sans smiled a bit wider. There were few words that could describe how pleased he was to hear them list a place in the Underground as their starting point.

"well then, kid, i'd be willing to bet that's were we are. funny, ain't it? i've never been here once in my life."

Frisk stood up and looked around, and the memories came flooding back. This wasn't just the RUINS. This was the exact spot they had fallen into the Underground. They had gotten up here, walked forward, passed through that doorway, and met… Flowey. And then, after that, they had met Toriel.

They were only looking forward to one of those.

"C'mon, Sans. Let's go."

"ok, sure, but remember. things could be a heckuva lot different here."

"Right. I'm prepared."

The two of them strolled rather casually forward, passing through the large gate that led into the RUINS. Frisk called out a bit prematurely.

"Howdy!"

Turning the corner, Sans raised a hypothetical eyebrow at the sight that met their eyes, while Frisk just gasped.

"H0wdy! 1'm Temmie! Temmie the Temmie!"

Frisk was back out the door in less than a second.

"Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, so much nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, all the nope."

"hey, kid, it ain't that bad! right?"

"Sans, it's that bad alright. It has gone way past "that bad" at this point."

"well, um, hey, at least she's um, not as dangerous, right?"

"Well… I guess."

"we're gonna have to get past there if we want to reach alphys and the SWAP again."

"Yeah. I know. Let's go. But I swear to god, Sans, you'd better have that magic eye of yours ready to go."

"sure, kid. i'll have your back."

The two walked back into the room.

"H0wdy! Y0u tw0 d1dn't seem tOO happy to see me! What's wr0ng?"

Frisk glanced at Sans and whispered their theory.

"Maybe I'm overreacting? Maybe it's not really Flowey?"

"W0uld the tw0 of y0u like some FRIENDLINESS FLAKES?"

"Nope. I wasn't."

The small Temmie winked one eye and stuck out her tongue, before snapping her fingers and sending dozens of tiny flakes at Frisk and Sans. Frisk drew their knife and swung, knocking the deadly projectiles out of the air before they had a chance to impact them.

"calm yourself, tem. this isn't the time for violence."

"Hmph! You d0n't liek my flakes! U 1d10tz! Temmie no liek dummy persons! Tem go n0w! Tem see u later!"

And the little cat simply scurried away.

"God, Sans. Now I'm worried."

Sans nervously chuckled. He was just as unnerved as Frisk.

"me too, kid. i definitely didn't see that one coming."

They continued walking, but before they had gotten far, they heard a happy little hum. It was a quiet song, off-tune and a little boring, but still reassuring. Turning a corner, they saw who it was who was making the tune.

It was Asgore, standing around and feeding his cats.

"Hello there, you two! Excuse me, please allow me to finish up here. Then, how about we talk about whatever is on your mind over a cup of tea?"

"K-king Asgore! What are-"

"Ha! King Asgore. I haven't heard that in a long time. After I made the mistake of leaving my beloved wife and moving here, I retired the name. You may refer to me as Asgore, or, if that name does not please you, I also go by 'Gore."

"Oh my god."

"What is it, child? Are you upset? Or are you just royally confused?"

"oh my god."

"Ah, yes, my skeletal friend! Do I know you? You seem familiar…"

"uuh, no, your royal kinglyness, i don't think we've met."

"Well, that must be remedied, mustn't it? Call me Gore. What's your name?"

"uh, well, you can call me sans."

"And I'm, er, F-frisk."

"Sans and F-frisk, eh? Nice to meet both of you."

"so, asgore, listen. we're going to have to get out of the RUINS pretty fast."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't let you do that. See, if a human like F-frisk goes out there, they- TORIEL, will kill them. And I can't let that happen."

"hey, gore, buddy, you don't have to worry about it. i got this. and the kid can look out for themselves."

"I'm sorry, Sans, but I can't let you leave the RUINS. It is too dangerous for a child out there, and certainly too dangerous for someone like you, with 1 HP."

"hit me."

"What?"

"hit me, right now. stab me with that poker of yours, or hit me with some fire. i dare you."

"Ha! That is funny, friend. But I wouldn't attack you!"

"i'm dead serious, gore, buddy."

"And so am I, Sans. I don't want to hurt you."

"but i won't hesitate to hurt you."

"W-what?"

"attack me, hit me right now, or i will kill you."

Sans' eye began glowing as he lifted a hand, summoning in one hell of a confused gasterblaster from outside the RUINS.

"now, dreemur."

Asgore struggled to decide what to do, when Sans fired a warning shot from the gasterblaster, carving a hole through the ground beside him. Finally, as Sans seemed ready to fire one more time, and hit him, he hurled a volley of fireballs at the skeleton with all his force. Instantly, Sans was moving, weaving in and out of the deadly attack with effortless skill, before avoiding it entirely. He then lifted his hand, gripped Asgore's SOUL, and hurled him lightly into a wall, before causing a forest of bones to appear beneath Asgore and throwing him straight at them, only stopping him inches away from the deadly objects.

Sans calmly retracted the bones back into the earth and smiled.

"i can handle it."

Asgore, somewhat stunned, replied.

"Indeed you can. I am sorry to have doubted you. I- err… I suppose you can go."

"i suppose so too. thanks, gore."

And the two strolled off, ignoring Asgore and his veritable army of cats.

"Don't you think that was a bit harsh, Sans?"

"desperate times call for desperate measures, kid."

"Yeah, but you seem, let's say… more urgent than usual. I'm honestly surprised you didn't take him up on the offer of the tea."

"i'm not in the mood, kid."

As they left the RUINS, Sans hammered in his point by offhandedly hurling the Temmie/Flowey out of the way as she blocked the path.

"sorry, bud! not in the mood!"

"Wow, Sans. You really aren't messing around."

"'course not. we've gotta get back home."

"Right. Of course. You just really don't seem like yourself."

"heh… sorry, kid. to tell the truth… i really don't know what the problem is… my bad. but hey, we're coming close to the place you first met me. let's see how i'm doin. oh, or what whoever's got my personality is doing."

"Right. Let's g- wait a second. Is that…"

Sans began to crack a smile, or at least what passed as one for him, as the curvature of his mouth got to absurd levels. His smile just. Kept. Getting. Bigger. Suddenly, he erupted into laugher. Not the quiet chuckles that Frisk was used to hearing from him, but full-on gut-busting laughter, an explosion of levity that really caught Frisk off guard. Sans struggled, and failed, to stay on his feet, as he fell to the ground, rolling around. Were it not for the massive smile on his face, and the booming laughs that were blasting from his mouth, one might assume that he was in extreme stomach pain.

"EERR, SANS, IS THAT YOU? WHAT'S WRONG, SANS? ARE YOU OK, BRO?!"

Suddenly, from out of the woods, came the target of the skeleton's laugher, and, coming from behind him, yet another skeleton.

"Sans, what is going on right now? What's so funny?"

"YOU! HUMAN! GET AWAY FROM SANS, NOW! WHAT'S WRONG, BROTHER!? WAIT… IS HE… LAUGHING? AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES?"

Sans struggled to get a reign on himself, but failed miserably, and kept rolling on the ground in uncontrollable laugher.

"d-don't… worry ab-… about it b-bro!"

"WAIT A SECOND? HUMAN? HUMAN!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE! AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH SANS! ANSWER, HUMAN!"

"uh, hey, i'm right here! uh, wait a second. is that…"

"You? Yeah, Sans number 2, it is."

"who are you? wait a second… are you… a human!?"

"Yep."

"COULD SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON, PLEASE! AND WHY ARE THERE TWO SANSES HERE? I HAVE ENOUGH COOL DUDE ALREADY!"

"u-uh huh!... i-i… gimme a second… HA HA HA HA!"

"That's kind of cold. What if he needed to live with you? He'd probably be crushed!"

"WELL, I… I DON'T MEAN TO HURT HIS FEELINGS… I LOVE ANY SANS! BUT I…"

"How could you be so cruel to someone so emotionally vulnerable!"

Frisk was pointing their finger straight at Papyrus' face, with a harsh expression on their own. Little did the poor skeleton know that the human was just putting him on. For a reason lost on the alternate Sans and Papyrus, Frisk's own Sans simply began laughing even harder. As Frisk had intended, he found the current situation irresistibly hilarious.

"f-frisk y-… you're not h-helping!"

"I- I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE, WHAT IS GOING ON!?"

"Please, Pap, just calm yourself and stop talking for a second! Let Sans get his bearings!"

"how can he be sans? i'm sans! what's wrong with you guys!?"

Frisk's Sans erupted in one more massive burst of laughter, and everyone quieted down. By the time he finally got back to his feet, over two minutes later, there were tears streaming down his eyes and his smile practically curved over his eyes.

"ok… phew. that was… um… wow. ok, sorry about that. but hey, frisk, i'm in a good mood anyway. s-so… let me guess. sans, right?"

"yeah, i am the great sans! you may have heard of me as the greatest royal guard of all time!"

Frisk had to literally kick Sans, hard, to stop him from exploding in another burst of laughter.

"hi, sans, i'm sans."

"great. just call me sans."

"you too. about me. well, i'm sorry about earlier. i guess i just found everything very… humerus."

The alternate Papyrus stifled a smile, as the alternate Sans gave off a look of pure horror.

"i thought that you were me, not him!"

"well, let's just say i had a similar problem earlier."

"We have to talk."

"AGREED. WHY DON'T WE DISCUSS IT OVER A CUP OF TEA? I'M JUST KIDDING, LET'S GET SOME SPAGHETTI!"

Frisk's Sans smiled, and gave the alternate Papyrus the "double finger-guns" and a wink.

"sounds great. hey, sans?"

"yes, sans?"

"you got any ketchup?"

"you know i do!"

"we've got more in common then i thought."

Frisk sighed, smiled, and put their hand on their forehead.

"You sure do."