Harry's Secret

Author's Note: In this story Sirius was proven innocent in Harry's third year and Harry moved in with him. Wormtail still got away. The incident at the ministry during the fifth year was just between the deatheaters and order of the phoenix, and no one died. Only significant death so far is Cedric's. I own nothing except the plot of my own story, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter One:

Harry Potter was not your average soon to be sixteen year old young man. He was a wizard in training, being taught at the finest school for witchcraft and wizardry, Hogwarts. Well, he was usually learning at the school, but at the moment he was on vacation, living with his Godfather, previous best friend to his parents before they were murdered by a terrible wizard by the name of Voldemort.

Such heavy facts weighed on Harry, but nowhere near as heavily as his thoughts of his best friend Hermione. It may seem a surprise, but Harry was used to Voldemort's constant failed attempts to kill him, and so he was always on alert so as not to be surprised by the vile wizard, but Voldemort was the least of Harry's problems. In the opinion of the young wizard, anyway.

No, Harry was more concerned with his best friend as he lay in his bed at number 12 Grimmauld Place. Memories of her walking into the Yule Ball on Viktor Bloody Krum's arm, which had pestered him for over a year and a half, danced in his head. Fantasies of her coming to visit and Harry being confident enough to tell her how he felt, and thoughts of holding her close as he kissed her the way she should be kissed, all felt like physical blows to his head, knocking him senseless.

Sirius had told him ages ago that Hermione was a keeper, and that Potter men tended to know who they were meant to be with right away, just as James had known he would eventually want to be with Lily. Harry hadn't listened to him, he'd simply waved off his statement and pretended that Sirius was mental.

But he wasn't. No, Sirius had been quite right that Harry would eventually come to his senses and see that Hermione was the girl for him. Unfortunately for Harry, he didn't believe Hermione would ever pay him any mind in such a manner. She was usually too enamored with Ron to notice that Harry often watched her study, or read for fun, or play with Crookshanks because she believed the lazy lump of fur hadn't gotten enough attention.

Thoughts of how to tell her how he felt swam in his head, making him dizzy. He could write her a letter… but she'd probably hex him for not "being a man and telling her outright," what with her feminist vibe, along with her "helping everyone that won't ask," tendency. He thought of simply telling her outright but she would likely believe that he was joking. And worst of all was his terror that things wouldn't end well and they would lose their friendship forever.

The only relationship he had been in was with Cho Chang and it had been a complete disaster. Of course, there were certain circumstances that led to it being that way, what with his attraction to Hermione already formed, even though he tried to deny it, and Cho merely using Harry to discover more about how Cedric had been murdered by the sadistic wizard that had been trying to kill Harry from the moment he was born. It was bound to end badly between he and Cho.

Then he thought about Hermione. About how much history they had together as friends. How much more they had in common in comparison to Harry and Cho. How much more attraction Harry felt toward Hermione than he ever had to Cho.

But even with all of that, was it worth the risk to their friendship? That was the question nagging at Harry, giving him no peace of mind. Then of course, there was the Order of The Phoenix, and how often he would plead with Dumbledore and Sirius and even Mad-eye to make him an official member. Why shouldn't he be, anyway? He had more experience fighting against Voldemort than they all had put together. He had an odd bond with him that he could exploit, and even more than that, after Umbridge had been sacked and Cornelius Fudge given the boot (due to an article in the Daily Prophet finally admitting that the Dark Lord had returned) everyone in the wizarding world believed that Harry was meant to defeat Voldemort. If this were true, and Dumbledore often told Harry the same, then why was he being shut out?

He suddenly threw himself out of bed and punched his wall, trying to keep from yelling out his rage. This was his fight, damn it, not everyone else's. So what if he didn't get to live the life of a normal teenage wizard? He didn't care, it wasn't working for him anyway. What he wanted was to fight, and to be fighting at that very moment, because Voldemort wasn't waiting around for Harry to come to him. No, he would get within the walls of Hogwarts eventually and when that happened, Harry would be the only one able to fight him. He wouldn't have members of the order protecting him everywhere, for the rest of his life.

"Harry?" Sirius asked, opening the door. "What the bloody hell is this all about?" Sirius asked, gesturing to Harry's fist against, and almost through, the wall. "Not still angry that they haven't allowed you into the Order yet, are you?" He asked and sat down on Harry's bed.

Harry sat down beside his godfather and sighed. "Yes actually, I am. How can I not be? This is supposed to be my fight. Last year, if we hadn't been living together for the last few years and I had no way to check that what I was seeing was false, so many of you all could've gotten killed."

Sirius threw an arm around Harry's shoulders. "That is very true, and personally, I believe you should be second in command of the Order, right beside Dumbledore, but he hasn't decided that you can be inducted yet. You may only need to wait until the end of this year though, Harry. After all, he could just be holding off because you can't do magic outside of school yet." Harry shrugged and sighed. Sirius took a cautious look at his godson. "That's not all that's bothering you, is it? You've been thinking about Hermione again, haven't you?" He asked of Harry.

"Yeah, and I can't do anything about it. Ron's already hinted he likes her, and I can't take a chance with her away from him, he's my best friend."

"Hasn't been such a good friend to you recently, as far as I recall." Harry quirked an eyebrow at Sirius and the older wizard nodded. "Oh yes, he's turned his back on you during the tournament, foolishly believing that you intentionally put yourself in danger when you did not, and would not give you a chance to explain. He didn't take notice of Umbridge's perverse form of torture until Hermione forced the truth out of you. Complains constantly of being pulled into dislikable situations because of you, not caring one bit that you hate when your friends are pulled into dangerous situations. Ronald doesn't sound like much of a friend at all recently."

Harry shook his head. "Sirius, he was my first friend, on the Hogwarts train. He's spent his life in the shadows of people in his family, in my shadow, even in Hermione's. It isn't fair to judge him on any of that."

"True, but it is fair to say that if he were truly your friend, he would accept that you fancy Hermione and support you in your pursuit of her."

The teenage wizard shook his head at his godfather's absurdity. "I don't chase after women."

"You certainly don't, but you follow behind Hermione like a love sick puppy, and I'm surprised that she hasn't noticed yet. She must really have her nose buried in every book that catches her eye." Harry chuckled and nodded.

"You already know she does, Sirius. She wouldn't notice my interest if I held up a sign that said 'I'm in love with Hermione Granger', unless she looked up from whatever book she was pouring over in that moment. Besides, she wouldn't want to be with me anyway. She's had it bad for Ron for the last few years at least. I don't stand a chance."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I never thought I'd hear James Potter's son claim that he stood no chance against a red-headed buffoon in gaining a lovely young lady's attention. Pull your head out of your arse Harry, I have a feeling she would be far more receptive than you think."

Harry simply shook his head, not wanting to believe that he could have what he wanted most. He'd be too damn lucky, and his only good luck existed to survive Voldemort's numerous attacks.

A few minutes later, they were eating dinner, and eventually Harry was back in his room, trying and failing to go back to sleep.

Hermione tossed and turned in bed, trying to think of a way to make Ronald like her. Sure, he'd been oblivious for the past few years, but he was a young man, something should catch his bloody attention! And that was when she made a plan to finally win him over, no matter what!

Without hesitation she whipped out her quill and a piece of parchment, determined to do whatever it took to make Ron like her, including talking to…

Ginny,

I have a major problem that I need your help with, please, please help me. Meet me at Diagon Alley, three in the afternoon, please!

-Hermione

She gave the letter to Errol, who always seemed to stay with her until she sent a response back to the Weasleys. He took off into the night and Hermione slumped against her wall, hoping beyond hope that Ginny would show up the next day. Her parents wouldn't mind if she left, they had given her far more freedom with her sixteenth birthday fast approaching.

And it was with these last encouraging thoughts, she drifted back to sleep, hoping for good dreams.