Happy Easter! Or happy Sunday, whichever.

Kurt was about to explode. Blaine had just come home from a months-long stint on the touring production of Book of Mormon, which was normally cause for celebration - private celebration. Instead, they were out at the bar with most of their friends, having one last night of togetherness before most of them had to disperse back to the West Coast or Ohio for their jobs. Not that Kurt didn't love time with the New Directions, but just then, he would've given anything for an excuse to leave.

"You're thinking too hard!" Blaine shouted just then, distracting Kurt from his murderous thoughts. He squeezed up next to Kurt to get to the bar and signaled for two more drinks, ass brushing against Kurt's crotch and sending sizzles through Kurt's veins as he did. "Come dance with me!"

"In a minute," Kurt yelled back - he needed to get himself under control before going off to dance with Blaine.

Blaine pouted but nodded, handing a fresh martini to Kurt before bopping back off to the dance floor with his tequila sunrise. He wiggled up next to Sam and Tina with a smile, somehow managing to twerk respectably well without spilling his drink.

Kurt was mesmerized.

"Boy. Why are you not up on all of that?" Mercedes asked, making Kurt startle and slosh his drink a bit in fright. "You love dancing with Blaine. Possibly a bit too much."

"I'm trying to behave myself," Kurt said, taking a swig of his martini. "Blaine's been gone for months. He deserves a better welcome than me dragging him off to some skanky bathroom."

"And you can't just go dance with him without having sex immediately afterwards - wait, who am I kidding, of course you can't," Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. "I remember Mr. Schue's almost-wedding. And your own wedding. And Mike's opening night party-"

"I get it," Kurt interrupted snappishly. "Is it my fault my husband's sexy?"

"Oh Lord, have we reached that point in the evening?" Santana asked, appearing on Mercedes' other side. "Someone get me another drink. I need to be able to take a sip every time one of them uses the words 'dreamy,' 'handsome,' or 'amazing.'"

Mercedes burst into laughter as Kurt scowled. "I hate you."

"I'm the reason you're even hitched to BoatShoes McPreppy over there," Santana said, raising an eyebrow. "I think I get to say whatever I want because of that."

"Like you need a reason to say whatever you want."

"Fair point. But my need for a drink still stands," Santana said, waving down the bartender and ordering another Long Island before turning to Mercedes. "How long do you think it'll be before they go off and bone in the men's room? My bet's fifteen minutes, and that's being generous."

"I'll give him twenty," Mercedes said, casting an appraising eye up and down Kurt's body. "He's only two drinks into the night."

Kurt walked away at that, unable to listen to them discuss his perfectly healthy and normal sex life any longer. Once he was away from the bar, though, he wasn't sure where to go if he wanted to avoid Blaine who was now - oh my God - popping his hips in time to All About That Bass.

While the song wasn't one of Kurt's all time favorites, the way Blaine was getting into it was making him reconsider his position altogether, and before he knew what was happening, he was forcing his way to Blaine's side.

"Hey, baby!" Blaine said, smiling broadly (and a bit drunkenly) at Kurt. "You came!"

Not yet I haven't, a traitorous part of Kurt's mind thought. Out loud, he said, "I was always going to come out and dance with you!"

"I love you," Blaine said sappily. He scooted away from Sam to start wiggling around in front of Kurt, loose-limbed and sloppy yet irresistibly cute.

"I love you too," Kurt said, wrapping his arms loosely around Blaine's shoulders and trying to match his rhythm, if not his exact moves. The lack of complete contact somehow both energized and grounded Kurt, making his libido a pleasurable yet unignorable buzz under his skin.

Then the song changed.

"Fuck," Kurt said under his breath, barely audible even to himself. He automatically wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist as Blaine spun to grind against him. Their lower bodies had almost no space between them at that point, and Kurt knew he couldn't hold out much longer. "Blaine!"

"Yeah?" Blaine asked, throwing one arm back somewhat awkwardly to wrap around Kurt's neck.

Kurt had to take a deep breath to regain some clarity of mind before replying, awkwardness of the position be damned. "I think I left a burner on before we left, I just remembered. We need to go home and make sure nothing's on fire!"

"Crap, yeah, okay. Let's go," Blaine said, sobering up. He waved at Tina and Sam as they hurried off the dance floor, then stuck his hand in Kurt's.

A yell of "Pay up!" came from Santana and Mercedes' direction as they reached the door, but at that point, Kurt didn't even care. All he wanted was to get home and properly welcome his husband back to New York.

The subway ride went mercifully quickly, and before Kurt could get even more sexually frustrated, they were back home.

Blaine darted toward the stove, asking, "Do you remember which burner it was?"

"Confession time: I didn't leave a burner on," Kurt said, following Blaine into the kitchen. "I just needed to get out of there."

"What? Why?" Blaine's look of confusion was sexy to Kurt in that moment, alerting him to just how turned on he actually was.

"Because you were driving me crazy," Kurt said, walking over to Blaine and pinning his hips against the oven with his hands. "Your dance moves and the way you always get so close to me and your happiness at being with the people we love, God. How am I supposed to handle you without getting turned on, B?"

Kurt leaned in for a messy kiss, smirking into it when Blaine let out a surprised breath before kissing back.

"You really feel that way?" Blaine said once Kurt finally broke the kiss. "I mean, I wasn't even trying to be sexy tonight."

"Thankfully," Kurt replied. "Or else I would've had to haul you into that disgusting men's room instead of getting you back home. Mercedes and Santana already got enough ammunition out of tonight without adding public sex to the list."

"Wait, public sex wasn't already-"

"Even more public sex," Kurt said with an eye roll. "But that's not going to be an issue tonight, because now we're back home, where we can have exceptionally private sex to our hearts' content."

"I get the feeling your heart's content might not be achieved too soon," Blaine said with a smirk.

"Is that going to be a problem?"

"Not at all."