Quick Note:

I still cannot move on with LEXA's death. I want her back so badly. However, we have to understand that Alycia has other priorities. I think that bringing her back to The 100 would be next to impossible. But anyways, here's to Heda and Clarke. Let's give them a happy story (I would say 'ending' but I hate and neglect the idea of it) they deserve.

"What part of 'I won't see you' is unclear?" Clarke turned around when she heard the door opened and closed behind her. There stood in front of her the woman she loathed. She felt nothing but indifference to the Commander whom she trusted once.

"I respected your wishes for a week, Clarke…"

The Commander held her stoic façade again, maintaining the strong posture. She's very direct to the point and wasted no time to divulge Clarke of the main reason why she was there at Polis. Clarke wanted to snort and laugh bitterly at every word the Commander uttered.

The Commander expected more of Clarke's rage. She deserved it. She never wanted to leave Clarke at Mount Weather but it was her people that come first. She took an oath to save, protect and do what she must at all cost even if it means betraying the ones she cares for. This is the consequence she has to suffer for many years. Duty over love. She understood Clarke even better than Clarke understood herself. She was Clarke a few winters before. She was cynical and full of anger when she was still Anya's second.

How dare she talk to me after all what she had done? How dare she come here and ask me to bow before her? How dare she show her face full of pride and confidence? How dare she look at me straight into my eyes? Who does she think she is?

Clarke was left pondering over those thoughts. She was still standing by the window looking far beyond while tears uncontrollably cascade her face.

It will be easier for both of us if she kills me… if she kills Wanheda.

Clarke closed her eyes as warm wind blew upon her face.

…

Days passed and the coalition offered by the Commander was still pending. Kane wanted to represent the Sky people himself but the grounders rejected him for he had not proven himself as a leader but only of a warrior.

"This is getting longer than we expected, Marcus." Abby paced around the room. "When can I see Clarke? When can I see my daughter?" she demanded answers.

She hasn't seen Clarke yet. She went to Polis together with Kane and Octavia as soon as they learned that the Commander has her daughter. The Commander promised them that Clarke was unharmed and well taken care of. Abby still doubted the real intentions of the Commander but she did not dare question any of them.

"Soon, Abby. Be patient." Kane told her in a low voice.

"Patient? It's been a week since we got here that you kept on repeating that! And my daughter has been here for more than two weeks. Why hasn't the Commander letting us see her?"

"It is not the Commander who is not letting us see her." Octavia finally voiced out her thoughts. She grew so exhausted with Abby and Kane's bickering so she finally decided to put an end to it. "It is Clarke herself."

Abby opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. She knew Octavia was right. Clarke knew that they were here. She knew that they'd come. She knew it all along but she never stepped out of where she was to face them – to face her people, her family.

Abby sighed in defeat and let her body slump down on the cushioned chair. She bowed her head as tears streamed down her face. Kane soon went to her side and comforted her. Octavia couldn't take the heart-breaking scene unfold before her so she left the room.

She decided to get some air and found herself walking by Indra's tent. Indra… she thought. It was still fresh from her memories what happened that fateful night. The same night Indra accepted her as one of them and disclaimed her in the next moment. She skipped and made a detour around the castle.

…

"You have not eaten since daylight." Lexa entered Clarke's room only to find Clarke lying on the bed, lazily playing the dagger in her hand.

"Since when do you care?" Clarke retorted.

"I always care about you, Clarke of the Sky People." The Commander's voice was gentle, the one Clarke has being used to. Ever since the argument they had the first day Clarke arrived Polis, Lexa has been careful and gentle around her. She thought at first that this has something to do with the coalition but now she wasn't sure anymore. Lexa has stopped pestering her about it.

"Don't!" Clarke warned her.

"You know me. I speak only of truth even if it is unwelcomed."

"You speak nothing but lies." The bitterness in her voice was evident.

"You can hate me as long as you like, Clarke. But every day that you spend to waste by not making a decision is putting your people in danger."

"They are not my people!" She stood up and shouted in front of Lexa's face. Lexa held her stoic façade once more but her eyes betraying her. Clarke can see through her as much as Lexa can do the same to her.

"They are and they always will be. No matter how many times you deny it, you know that it will never change."

Clarke stepped back. Every limb of her failing her. She needs not to be reminded of this – of her failure. She failed her people as much as she failed herself. Lexa was able to catch her in time as Clarke finally broke down. Her sobs echoed in the room as Lexa cradled her in her lap. Clarke pushed her away but her efforts were merely enough to part from the Commander. She has her arms locked protectively around Clarke.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" she shouted in between her sobs.

Lexa did not trust her voice enough so she kept quiet. She waited until Clarke was asleep in her arms that she whispered, "I want you to come back to me, Clarke."

Lexa easily lifted Clarke and brought her bed. She noticed how much weight the blonde had lost. The pale of her skin worried the Commander. She was thin, fragile and so little. The commander's heart bleeds to see her like this.

"I never wanted any of this to happen, Clarke. I just made a choice for my people." She whispered and kissed the blonde's forehead before retreating to her own nightmare.

…

Three days passed and Lexa already grew tired of Clarke's childish whims.

"Make it fast and leave." She gave orders to the servants as they hastily prepared a warm bath for Clarke.

Clarke was too weak to notice what was happening around her. She opened her eyes lazily only to shut them involuntarily.

"Heda…" Indra approached Lexa cautiously as if asking if she knows what she's doing.

Lexa shook her head and dismissed Indra silently. She did not need any help from them. She was tired of seeing Clarke like this. She was tired of seeing Clarke punishing herself every single day.

Lexa pulled the furry blankets off of the sky princess. Clarke shivered at the loss of warmth. She then felt her body lifted up and the next thing she knew she was soaked in a hot tub.

"What the – " she opened her eyes frantically and held the edges of the tub.

"I see that you have finally woken up. Good." Lexa clenched her jaw trying to bite down more remarks that might escape her lips. She earned a death glare once Clarke realized who was responsible for the wet mess she ended up into.

"How dare you!"

"No, Clarke. I had enough of your complaints and hatred. I will no longer tolerate them."

"You don't get to decide what will happen."

"Oh yes I will because I can. Your mother is waiting for you to join her at lunch. You will meet her whether you like it or not. You must tell her of the decision you have to make. I hope you will not make a foolish one."

Lexa turned her back to leave but stopped for a moment, "The Azgeda was at a dangerous boundary close to the land that Skaikru occupies. My warriors are there ready to protect your people at your command. Be the thirteenth clan or lose it all. The choice is yours."

Clarke was once again trapped in a decision she has to make alone. At noon she has to make a decision. Her lips trembled for she has no idea of what to do. She was still lost. She was still the girl who's trying to make sense of the world around her.

Lunch came and the inevitable encounter with her mother was at last granted. Her mother was in tears when she saw her daughter entered the dining hall. No one was in there but the two. Abby showered Clarke kisses as she pulled her daughter close. Clarke still do not know what to make of it.

She was alive but barely living.

"Mom…" she whispered. Her voice was shaky. "M-mom, stop."

Abby looked at her worriedly.

"I'm fine." She smiled unconvincingly. "How… how… they're okay, right?" her voice faltered.

"Yes, honey. They are fine. We are all fine. Where have you been? Everybody's worried about you. They're waiting for you to come home, Clarke." Abby smiled while tears cascaded her face.

"We have to…" Clarke shook her head. "I have to tell you something. This is really important, mom – " Kane and Octavia burst inside the dining area. Octavia ran towards Clarke and enveloped her into a bone crushing hug. Clarke was dumbstruck and stood motionless. Kane was next when Octavia let go of her.

"It's really nice to see you back, Clarke." Octavia said.

"Kane, Octavia, would you mind giving us a few minutes?" Abby politely asked.

"O-of course." Kane nodded.

"Actually, I needed you guys here." Clarke said. "I need you to hear what I have to say." All of them were quiet so Clarke continued. "The Commander offered a coalition."

"We didn't come here for that. We are here to offer a treaty not an alliance." Abby replied sternly.

"We become the thirteenth clan… today." Clarke said paying no attention to what Abby had said.

"Thirteenth clan? What does that mean? That we follow Lexa?" Abby tried to contain the fury in her voice but was failing miserably.

"Yes." Clarke said while looking straight into her mother's eyes.

"We are not going to make an alliance with them!" Abby refused with anger.

"Abby –"

"No Marcus! I will not let that happen."

"I'm sorry. But you are not in any position to do that. This is Clarke's call." Kane explained.

"It always has been." Octavia supported.

"I've already decided." Clarke nodded.

"Do what you must." Kane offered her a small smile.

"What will you do?" Abby carefully asked.

"I will bow to the Commander in front of her people and you to bear witness to this coalition."

Abby broke down in Kane's arms as Clarke left without any more words.

…

The coalition has been sealed and Clarke felt nothing at all. She was staring blankly at the Commander's throne while Lexa and Titus were talking.

"Let me know as soon as the scouts come back." Lexa ordered her trusted adviser.

"I hope you know what you're doing." He told her cautiously and left.

Lexa and Clarke were left alone again.

"Thank you for staying." Lexa approached Clarke in the same manner she always did. Her eyes were gentle even though her face didn't give much away. Her body language held the stillness and strength she practiced for ages. But it was her eyes that Clarke grew so familiar with. Her eyes that convey all of her emotions and struggles.

"I stayed because it's the right thing for my people – "

"Our people." Lexa cut her off. Clarke stepped dangerously close to the commander.

"If you betray me again – "

"I won't." Lexa cut her off again. Clarke clenched her jaw this time and inhaled heavily to calm herself. They shared a look and for the first time in weeks Lexa saw a glint of understanding in Clarke's eyes. The commander took Clarke by surprise when she bowed down in front of her.

"I swear fealty to you, Klark kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people."

Clarke realized on that moment that Lexa gave her the superiority she has, hence, she felt her heart skipped a beat and all her walls suddenly cracked and fell to pieces. Lexa need not a word from Clarke for Clarke's next gesture gave it all away. She offered her hand to Lexa and helped her stood. They came face to face again and shared a sacred look.

…

Just as soon as Clarke made peace to the commander, Lexa was challenged the next day by the queen of Azgeda. Clarke's fury with the other clan sparked again. Her death glare was fixed with the Ice Queen.

She stopped listening to all other noise. Everything happened so fast. She blocked everything from her head until the commander said,

"Ai laik Heda. Non na throu daun gon ai." (I'm the commander. No one fights for me.) For the first time in weeks Clarke felt something other than anger. She felt as if her body was covered in ice and her shattered heart broke some more. She felt fear crept up through her veins. Fear that was associated with the concern she has for the same person who betrayed her at Mount Weather. Clarke was torn and the endless internal battle she's handling roared and spiked into a higher degree.

The meeting was adjourned and Clarke burst into Lexa's room without any permission. Even the guards couldn't stop her.

"What were you thinking?" Clarke demanded answer. Lexa was standing in the balcony of her room, staring at her beloved city. Clarke didn't notice that Aden was there. Lexa patted Aden's head and he saw the boy closed his eyes solemnly.

"Always remember what transpired in here, Aden. Go."

Aden bowed his head to Lexa, then to Clarke.

"You are giving her exactly what she wants."

"Only if I lose." Lexa was slowly losing her temper, first to Titus now to Clarke. She shook her head when she saw the concern glimmering in Clarke's eyes. She could not look at her in the eyes anymore. She could not look at her because Lexa knew that with just one look Clarke could see through her. Clarke could see the fear in her eyes. Fear not for herself, but, fear for not winning the combat and not seeing Clarke anymore. She had struggled and went this far to save Clarke. She did not mean to turn Clarke and involve her in anymore mess. She wanted to protect her from everything and everyone that could harm her. She failed to do it with Costia and she would not let that failure to happen again. "I know you're just trying to help Clarke but there's nothing you can do here."

"I just can't let Roan kill you."

The commander started pacing around the room. She sensed so many struggles in Clarke's voice. She wanted to assure Clarke that everything will be fine, that she would be fine. But she can't because she doesn't know what will happen and she hated herself for it. She never wanted to see Clarke in so much distress again.

"If that is to be my fate, you must." Clarke looked at her disbelievingly. "You are driven to fix everything for everyone but you can't fix this. I have to do this on my own and you have to let me." Lexa didn't know if she was trying to convince Clarke about her decision or herself more.

"I won't just sit there and watch you die." Clarke's voice went louder and Lexa knew that her voice conveyed more than just fear. She knew that deep down Clarke cares for her. She needed not to say it aloud.

Just as Lexa was about to say something, Titus came back to inform them that the time of combat has come.

"Then this is goodbye…" Lexa's voice seemed so fragile in that moment. Clarke's look was all it took for Lexa to bring down her defences. "For now." She continued. They shared another longing look before Lexa left to prepare.

…

Clarke was able to breathe again after the commander took out the threat who was Queen Nia. She was alone in her room when Lexa knocked on her door that night. That was the first time they truly shared a conversation after everything that has happened to them. Clarke cleaned out Lexa's wounded hand and wrapped a clean cloth with so much care.

"I was…" Clarke's lips trembled while she finished wrapping the hand of the commander. Lexa looked at her with gentle eyes coaxing Clarke to continue. "I was afraid that… that…" she couldn't even finish her sentence and closed her eyes. She let go of Lexa's hand to move away from the commander but Lexa took her arm.

"I was, too, Clarke." Lexa admitted.

"I thought…" Clarke tried to continue again but she shook her head. "Roan was near as strong as you, Lexa. He was about to end you right there and then."

"But he didn't."

"Because you didn't let him."

"Even if I did, you don't have anything to fear. The next commander will protect you."

"Will you ever stop talking about your death?"

Lexa gave her a small smile.

"Death is not the end, Clarke."

"Lexa – "

"I wasn't afraid of dying." Lexa's gaze fixed elsewhere instead of Clarke's captivating blue eyes. "I was afraid that…" Lexa bit her lip as if stopping herself from spilling out whatever secret information she was too scared to share. "I may not ever see you again." she lifted her gaze to gauge Clarke's reaction.

Clarke looked confused at first… then realization hit her.

"What I said before the war at Mount Weather was all true. I care about you, Clarke of the sky people. I truly and deeply care for you. I know you're having a hard time believing everything I say, but please remember my vow to you. From now and the days to follow, I will treat your needs as mine. I will claim every success, failure and hardship as mine. You don't have to be afraid of anything from now on. I will be with you every step of the way. As your –"

"Stop!" Clarke held her hand up to stop the commander. Lexa halted her speech and her face went back to her normal stoic look. Clarke was not ready to hear everything she has to say. She stood up and faced Lexa before saying, "Reshop, Heda." Then she bowed respectfully as Lexa took this cue to stand up.

"Good night, Clarke." She offered the sky princess a small but broken smile before she left.

Both of them were even more confused of what transpired between them.

I hope you like this... please feel free to leave a comment or any suggestion of what you like and don't like to happen next. Thanks for reading!

Sorry if there's any error as well. I may need a beta after this. Any volunteer?