Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from Insurgent is not mine. Pen and all original characters you do not recognize do belong to me. This Disclaimer is true for this chapter and all that follow.

A/N: WELCOME TO THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF MY OWN DIVERGENT TRILOGY! That's right! Even this one is not the last! But I am SUPER EXCITED to get this one posted and see how everyone likes it! It should be highly exciting! Especially as it goes along. I CANNOT CONTAIN THE EXCITMENT!

However, I will contain it for a brief moment while I reiterate the mostly the same message from To Be Brave. Ahem, it goes as follows:
- This is a mash-up of both the books and the movie, following the books a little more closely, with some of the movie changes thrown in. Hopefully it'll flow so you hardly notice it.
- Picture Eric as Jai since you can't have a good Divergent FF without him!
- The timeframe of this is a little skewed. I went with more the movie timeline. Ages were changed for the film and I went with Eric and Four being 24 to work my OC in better. So don't be alarmed!
- This story is rated M for a reason! If language, nudity, sex, abuse, or anything similar offends you than do not read past this point. There is plenty of all of it so if you can't handle it than don't read it. I will not be offended.

And some of that is more true for this second story than it was for the first. BE PREPARED AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! That's your warning so keep it in mind as this story progresses.

And just to start out, I want to give a HUGE THANK YOU to all who read To Be Brave and to all those who will continue their journey with me in To Stay Strong!

Let me know what you think and I will be updating weekly so you'll never have to wait very long!

Okay, I think that's it. READ, REVIEW, but most of all ENJOY!

Now then, with much love, let's get this story going!

HAPPY READING!

Chapter One: Amity

When I had decided to join Dauntless, I had expectations. Even at sixteen I had expectations of the faction I was choosing. An idea of the way I wanted to live my life. I had watched them jump on and off trains. I'd seen them fight in the school yard. I had heard tales of their bravery and fierceness.

They didn't disappoint.

And because of them I had become just as brave and fierce as those born into Dauntless.

I had made myself the person I wanted to see when I looked in the mirror. Someone worthwhile that didn't need anyone to protect me, or speak for me; I didn't want to be someone who needed anyone. I could forge my own way and be who I wanted to be. I had friends and those I called family and I loved them. But at the end of the day I wanted to be happy with me. Not wanting to be tethered to anyone.

But I was wrong.

I could still be all those things and still need people. I've learned that despite how everything had started, how I had expected everything to turn out; I needed the family I had created. The moments of happiness or sadness. Knowing that they would always be there for me. I needed them and the stability that my faction had given me. A sense of home and purpose. I didn't know I could feel as whole. I needed all of it.

I thought I was perfectly content with my life. Then the unexpected happened. A hate that turned into something more. Something so far from what I thought I wanted, that turned into something I could never live without. Despite the love I had for the friends that had become my family. I had found someone who I found myself loving more. And after everything was said and done, there was only one person that I truly needed. More than anything.

Eric.

Standing next to Four as he opened the gate that lead to Amity, I looked back toward Abnegation. He was there. He was there and he was hurt. He needed me and I had fled like a coward. It was necessary and yet I yearned to be with him. I was tethered to him, and the further away I was the more painful it became. But I knew that I couldn't stay with him. If I did than I'd be dead right now. Jeanine would win and she'd take everything from him. I needed to take care of myself, in turn taking care of him.

Feeling emotion start to catch in my throat, my sinuses burned with the effort to keep it in, as my hand moved to my side. Pain. My bullet wound was still painful despite the excellent healing that Andrew had provided me. Then I touched the other bullet wounds that I had taken while running with Andrew. Dried blood still covering my clothes and skin. The hole against my ribcage still leaving red against my fingers. Feeling a wave of sadness, I wanted to look at Tris but couldn't bring myself to do it. Andrew. Natalie. Will. So many had already been lost to this war and it had only just begun. I wished with all of me that I knew what would happen next.

"Opie." Four said gently, breaking me from my thoughts. "Time to move."

Nodding, everyone else moved through the gates as I took up the rear. After I was through, I pushed it closed, momentarily gripping it, staring, wanting so badly to once again lay eyes upon what I was leaving behind.

"I'll come for you." I whispered. "No matter what it takes. I will come for you."

Turning, I took a few steps before breaking into a run, easily catching up with the others, moving to the front. Clumped together, we raced through the trees, hearing everyone behind me. In this moment I feel both excitement and guilt. I was going home. That in itself seemed strange since it wasn't my home. Not anymore. My home had become Dauntless and then it became wherever Eric was and now I had left my home behind. I never wanted this war. I never wanted to have to fight because of what I was. Who I was. I just wanted to be happy. Was that so much to ask? Apparently it was. Though I couldn't deny that there was a sense of relief when Amity came into view.

The glowing light from the windows are the first thing we see. Evolving into a cluster of wooden and glass buildings as we get closer. We pass through the familiar fields and trees. The familiar scents and sounds. All bringing me back to when I was a kid, climbing those trees and working those fields. The smells of apples in the air and of the green grass in spring.

Before the buildings we have to walk through the orchard, more emotion filling me than I had expected. I thought I'd let go of my love for Amity, for I truly loved Dauntless, but seeing these trees again, smelling the earth, everything came flooding back. Unable to suppress a soft laugh, I touched the trees, feeling renewed and rejuvenated. Taking off my shoes and socks, my feet sank into the ground and I relished the feeling. Looking up, the branches grow into one another, forming a tunnel. Memories of my sisters and me climbing and swinging from tree to tree, playing keep away and hiding from our parents. I never thought I'd see this place again. Let alone my family. But with every step I took, I was moving closer and closer to them.

When we reached the streets at the outskirts, Marcus left Peter's side - where he had been helping to keep him steady - and walked in front of me. "I know where to go." He stated.

"Excuse me." I shot at him, putting my shoes and socks back on. "But I'm pretty sure I know this place better than you."

He gave me a hard look and I can see Four in his expression. Not backing down, he finally nodded and motioned for me to lead the way. And I do. He was delusional if he thought he knew my former faction better than I did. I grew up in these streets. If anyone was going to keep us out of trouble than it would be me.

Leading us past the first building to the second one on the left, all the buildings except the greenhouses are made of the same dark wood, unpainted and rough. Laughter floats out of an open window and I suddenly can't wait to see my family, making me break into a slow jog. Reaching where we needed to be, I opened one of the doors, motioning everyone inside before following behind them. There's no security, since we're the kindest faction it's simply not needed here. I used to not think a thing of it, but now that I was Dauntless and had seen what people were capable of, I realized that it didn't matter if this was Amity. People needed to be protected. Even though we were here to seek sanctuary, these people needed to be protected from even us.

Continuing to lead us, the only sounds came from our shoes, and the elevated breathes some of us were taking. I couldn't help but thank god that Caleb had stopped crying. He'd carried on since the train. I understood why, he'd lost his parents, his sister was shot and on top of that Divergent. He had every reason to break down. We simply didn't have time for it. And I couldn't take much more of his blubbering. The sound was giving my headache a headache.

Stopping before an open room, Johanna Reyes is sitting and staring out the window. She's the representative of Amity and had been a big part of my life while I was here. Seeing her now brought tears to my eyes. The familiar scar that stretches in a thick line from just above her right brow to her lip. She was blind in one eye and the injury had given her a lisp when she talked. All I want in this moment is to hear it. All I wanted was to have her embrace me the way she did the day I left.

"Johanna." I said softly.

She turned around, emotion swiftly crossing her face. "Oh, thank God." She said opening her arms to me. I swiftly ran to her, crying into her shoulder as she hugged me tightly. "Penelope, Penelope, Penelope. How good it is to see you safe."

"Johanna." I repeated as I smiled at her.

She looked at Marcus, putting her hands on his shoulders as they smile at each other. "The other members of your party got here a few hours ago, but they weren't sure if you had made it." She told him. I think of the Abnegation who were hiding with Tris's father and Marcus in the safe house. I hadn't even thought to worry about them. I was too wrapped up in my own affairs. By the look of everyone else, they hadn't thought to worry either. Then she looks at those who we're with. Noticing the blood soaking Peter's shirt. "Oh my." She frowned. "I'll send for a doctor. I can grant you all permission to stay the night, but tomorrow, our community must decide together. And"—she eyes the rest of us—"they will likely not be enthusiastic about a Dauntless presence in our compound. I of course ask you to turn over any weapons you might have."

I swiftly hand over my gun and knife. "I know this is weird but..."

"I've known you since you were born." She smiled. "You'll find sanctuary here for as long as you need."

"Thank you." I smiled, feeling the sting of tears again. "My family?"

"You can go to them once we're done here." She replied. Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I nodded at her.

Tobias handed over his gun, but I watched him stop Tris from giving up hers. It took all of me not to say something but he wanted to be prepared. I knew there was nothing to worry about but they didn't know these people as well as I did. They wouldn't do anything to harm us while we were here. I'm sure they would have rules and conditions but we would agree and accept all the hospitality they were willing to offer. And I was here. I can help them through anything. We didn't need a gun. But if he felt better about it than I would keep quiet. After all, maybe he was right in this. I was bias toward the Amity. He was just being smart. Lacing his fingers with hers, it took a long moment for me to look away. Gripping my fingers one by one, I remembered the feeling of Eric's hand in mine, playing with my fingers as we stared at each other. What I wouldn't give to have him here now.

Breaking from my thoughts, I smiled at Johanna. She took my hands, pulling me against her side. I was grateful for the closeness. It helped the emptiness that started to settle on me when I thought too much about what I had left behind. Everything would fall away and I'd be alone. Only I wasn't alone. I was surrounded by people whom I cared about and vice versa. I simply didn't need them as much as I needed Eric. Looking through the wall in his direction, it was Johanna's voice that once again brought me back to the present.

"My name is Johanna Reyes." She told the others, extending her hand to them in turn. It was a Dauntless greeting. She was well versed and she knew exactly what she was doing.

"This is T—" Marcus started, but Four interrupted him.

"My name is Four." He tells her. "This is Tris, Caleb, and Peter."

"Welcome to the Amity compound." Johanna's eyes fix on Tris for a moment, smiling. "Let us take care of you." She tightened her arm around me, making me wince from the bullet wound to my side. "How injured are you?"

"It's a through and through and a bunch of grazes. One shot to my ribs. I just need to clean and bandage them and I'll be right as rain." I smiled at her.

"I'll take you to your parents." She nods, and then turned to the others. "Come with us and then I'll take you to get something to eat."

Walking the familiar streets to my parents' home, hearing the sounds of talking and laughing, music floating through the windows, I felt a slight wave of contentment wash over me. I felt safe. Looking at the others, they are all on edge. Four's eyes are darting around him. Marcus's was as well. Tris and Peter looked exhausted, much like how I felt. Caleb just looked like he was going to fall over at any second. Erudite definitely didn't teach anything about strength. Making me once again love the faction I chose.

When we finally reached my family's door, I held my breath, staring at it. Then Johanna put her hand on my shoulder. "Are you ready for this?"

"I don't know." I whispered, meeting her eyes. "I'm not their little girl anymore. I'm not the girl they remember."

She smiled, putting her hand on my shoulder, "No matter what faction you chose, you'll always be their little girl."

"You don't have to do this." Four stated, gripping my hand.

Turning to him, I put my hand against his face. "Yeah, I do."

Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the door, touching the wood door frame as Johanna knocked on it. There was a long moment when we just stood there. I could hear movement inside before it opened, my mother's face greeting me.

"Hi, Mama." I told her softly, tears filling my eyes. She was immediately in tears, pulling me against her as she sobbed into my shoulder.

"Thank god!" She bellowed into the night. "Thank you." She said to Johanna, reaching for her hand.

"Take care of your baby, Lilian." Johanna smiled at her.

"Thank you." She repeated before pulling me into the house.

"Four." I said turning to him. "It's gonna be okay."

"I know, Opie." He replied. "Are you going to find us later?"

"At first light." I told him. "I'm gonna stay with my family tonight. If that's okay."

"Of course." He said, looking like he wanted to reach for me but my mother had a vice grip on my arm.

Pulling from her, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I saw what you did." I whispered in his ear. "Don't do anything reckless until I find you." He squeezed me tightly before letting me go.

"Penelope." My mother said reaching out for me again.

Smiling, I nodded at Four, stepping into the house and watching him walk away with the others. As soon as they were out of sight I felt a slight wave of panic. I wanted to see my family, to be with them again, but at the same time Four was my family too. They were in a new place and didn't know anyone or what to do and what not to do. This was a big change and to not be with them was going to be hard.

"Penelope." I turned my head to see my father beaming down at me. He was tall and lean, wrapping me in his strong arms. His five o'clock shadow scratched against my forehead as he pressed a kiss against it; his blue eyes boring into my hazel ones as he pulled me away from him. "My Penelope."

"It's just Pen now." I told him. I wasn't really sure what to say to him.

"Or Opie." Maggie smirked from next to me. "And he was cute."

"Maggie." I grinned and hugged her tightly. "God I've missed you. And he is the only one who is allowed to call me Opie."

"Do I - uh- need to have a talk with this boy?" My father asked, falling right back into protective mode.

"No, no, of course not." I told him. "He's with the blond you saw. Tris. The Erudite is her brother Caleb and the other is one of us - Dauntless - who is a real piece of work."

"They will cause trouble." My mother frowned. "We will take you back. You do not need to stay with them."

My mind immediately moved to Eric. "I want to be with them, Mom." I told her gently. "I am still happy with what I chose."

"You're hair." Hazel frowned touching it.

"Hug me first." I frowned at her. My eldest sister wrapped me in her arms, hugging me tightly. "I missed you."

"You too, baby sister." She replied. "Now then, the hair."

"I like my hair." I told her quickly. "It's fun and different and bright and I like it."

"It is different."

"It's very Amity of you." Maggie smiled, picking up the different colored strands.

"Thank you." I nodded at Maggie before looking at Hazel again. "You can still see my brown, and it's very well blended." I felt the need to defend my hair despite the normalness of it within my own faction. "It's not a total and complete change. Just mostly."

"This is fun." Maggie said picking up my arm and looking at the quill pen on my finger and trailing the feather until it turned into birds. "Creative." She said and laughed, already understanding its meaning. She was always the smartest of us.

"My word, Penelope." My mother frowned.

"It's Pen now, Mom." Maggie told her. "And come on, I want to see what other tattoos you have."

"And piercings." Hazel said with a somewhat disapproving look, touching the few that I had in each ear. I stuck my tongue out at her, making her gasp at the piercing through it.

"No." Our mother stated. "She needs to have a good meal and get cleaned up. She's covered in blood for Pete's sake."

Looking at my sisters, I shrugged lightly, "I am hungry."

"Then come on!" Maggie said pulling me toward the kitchen.

Enjoying a delicious roast beef sandwich with potatoes and peas to go with it, as well as a tall glass of milk, I'd forgotten how much I missed our food. Dauntless food was good, amazing actually, but their potatoes couldn't match the ones I was eating now. It was so good, which was probably noticeable since I devoured it without taking a breath.

"Better?" My father asked me, a smile on his face.

I returned his smiled, "Much."

Looking from one face to the next, they all had expectant expressions. I was sure they'd heard what happened in Abnegation. I was sure that they wanted to know what had happened to me. I was sure that they each had ample questions to ask me. It was written on all their faces. I wanted to answer their questions. I wanted to tell them what was going on. But in doing so I'd reveal secrets about not only myself but those that I was with. Secrets that were better left unrevealed until we knew what our next move was going to be.

"I know you must have a million questions." I told them softly, rubbing my hands together. "But it's late and I could really use a shower and a good night's sleep. Many decisions need to be made and it starts with your faction tomorrow."

"Our faction." My mother corrected, covering my hands with hers.

Knowing it would hurt her, my brows furrowed and I leaned back against the chair, dragging my hands away from me. "No, not our faction. It's your faction. My faction is Dauntless and I do not regret that decision."

"You've changed." Hazel stated putting her arm around our mother.

I nodded. "Yes, I have. I'm not the same girl that left you five years ago. I've become so much more than I would have if I had stayed here. I no longer belong here. I belong with Four and Tris and the other Dauntless." All but Maggie looked at me with sadness and disbelief. Maggie was smiling at me, nodding at my words. "If you can't accept that – accept me – then I will leave your house now." I added and stood, moving toward the door.

"Don't be silly." My father's voice said from behind me. I turned and met his eyes. "We're just taken back by the woman you've become. A strong, independent, and loyal woman." He smiled, getting one in return. "But you're still a member of this family. We love you. We honestly didn't think we'd ever see you again."

"Yeah." I smiled, nodding. "I didn't either. Turns out I need your help."

He stood and stepped up to me, taking me head in his hands. "And help you shall receive."

"Thank you, Daddy." I told him breathlessly, wrapping my arms around him.

"Love you, kiddo." He smiled sweetly.

"Love you too." I replied, tears sliding down my cheeks.

There was a long moment where no one said anything. It was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was my father's heartbeat and the breathing of everyone else as they watched us. Then there was movement and I felt Maggie's hand on my shoulders.

"She said she could use a shower." She told them. Looking at myself, I suddenly felt very self-conscious of all the blood that covered my skin. "Yeah." Maggie said softly as she noticed. "Let's take care of that. Then we'll go from there, okay?" I nodded, stepping backward until she was pressed against me.

"Penelope." My mother said watching me closely.

"Please." I told her with furrowed brows. "I'll explain everything as best I can, I promise. But a few things need to be decided first." She sighed and nodded at me, tears filling her eyes.

"Come on." Maggie said softly, leading me up the stairs and to the bathroom.

She sat on the toilet while I started to undress. It was slow going, every movement I made making pain or aching course through me. I was all about keeping up pretenses, but with Maggie, I knew that I could just be myself and she wouldn't judge me or ask me questions. She was simply here for me, being whatever I needed her to be. I was incredibly grateful to her. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her until I saw her again.

"You doing okay?" She asked me as I leaned against the counter, my shirt, bra, and underwear still on.

"Not really, no." I replied.

"Do you need help?"

"No, Mags, I can handle undressing myself." I grinned at her, getting one in return. Pushing myself away from the counter, I turned to her, giving her an anxious expression. "Okay, don't freak out and don't yell for Mom. In fact, if you could be the only one who's here with me, I'm okay with that." I told her.

"What's going on?" She frowned. Sighing, I slowly pulled off my shirt; both my sides are still red with dried blood. Andrew had done a good job in cleaning one, but all the activity going back into Dauntless, and with the other wounds that had been inflicted upon me, red once again covered my skin. After fleeing Dauntless there wasn't the time or resources to tend to our wounds properly. As soon as her eyes fell upon my side she was there instantly, gently probing it with her fingers. "Pen."

"It's not that bad." I told her. "I feel fine."

"Mom is going to have a fit." She said shaking her head looking at the grazes to my arm and shoulder, sighing at the hole on my rib, then she gently touched the graze on my thigh before straightening. "I'll be right back."

"Maggie." I said meeting her eyes.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to get her. But you know how she is. I just need to make an excuse why she doesn't have to help take care of you. And I have to get what I need to help you heal."

"Okay." I nodded.

As soon as she was gone, I leaned against the counter again, looking at my reflection. It was crazy how much I'd changed since I'd left. My body was completely different, all muscle with wounds, cuts, bruises, and red still smeared across my skin. My hair unkempt. Claude would have something to say about that. Smirking at the thought of her, I took a deep breath, staring into the eyes of my reflection. Dark circles were under my eyes, seeing the faded mark against my cheek where Eric had hit me. Feeling the sting of tears, I gripped the edge of the sink until my knuckles turned white, bowing my head and silently sobbed, my tears falling into it.

Seeing the wound on my side, remembering the moment it happened, only fueled my tears. Covering my mouth, I felt such relief in my tears as well as sorrow for what was happening. Spinning, sitting on the toilet seat, I put my face in my hands, crying until I heard the door, looking up to see Hazel. Her eyes immediately started to glisten. Forcing a smile, I took a deep steadying breath, nodding at her.

"Penelope." She said softly, kneeling in front of me, putting her hands on my knees.

"I'm okay." I told her, gripping her forearm.

"You're not okay. Penelope, you are not okay."

"Please, Hazel." I said frowning at her. "Just Pen. I don't go by Penelope anymore."

"Are you so changed that I can't call you the name I have your entire life?" She asked with a sad expression.

Meeting her eyes, seeing the pain in them, I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I guess it's normal for you guys to still call me by my given name. It's just been a long time since I've used it without it being a scolding."

"A scolding?"

"My friend Claude, she only calls me Penelope when she's mad at me." I smiled. "At least I never wonder if she is or not. The full name comes out and I know I'm in trouble." She smiled, tucking my hair behind my ear. "She's the only one who uses my full name. Four on occasion when he wants me to be sure I'm listening. But Claude mostly."

"You miss her?" She asked.

I didn't want to make her feel bad, but I wasn't going to lie to her. "Very much."

She sighed and nodded. "Do you have many friends?" She asked as she started to clean up my side, her fingers touching the tattoo along my ribcage, "Be Brave".

"I do. They've become my family." I told her gently, covering the words with my hand.

Her jaw clenched and she stood. "That's because you chose to leave yours." She said throwing the towel into the sink.

"I don't belong here and you know it." I shot at her. "I've never been good enough for Amity. My temper is too short and I was always getting into trouble. I'm pretty sure our parents were relieved when I left."

"Shut your mouth." She shot back. "Mother was devastated and Father didn't come out of their room for a week. You are the youngest, Penelope - Pen - whatever, and you abandoned us."

"I did not abandon you." I told her. "I simply chose another path. Something I did for me and not for you."

She nodded, sighing, "I know. It doesn't mean it hurts less."

"I know." I nodded.

"Stand up and get in the shower."

Nodding, I did as I was told, taking off the remainder of my clothes and throwing them on the floor. Shying away from the cold water, Hazel wasn't as gentle as Maggie as she once again took the towel to my skin. Though it wasn't long before Maggie finally reappeared, holding a bowl of heated water and a cloth. "This will feel better than the cold water."

Nodding again, I let them clean my skin, Maggie paying special attention to my bullet wounds. Both of them touched the Dauntless and Amity tattoos on top of each other between my shoulder blades. Then Maggie touched the one on my side, smiling at me. Smiling back, they moved across the tree on my left shoulder.

"They're beautiful." Maggie told me kindly.

"I can't see why anyone would want to permanently damage their skin." Hazel added even though she was studying the shattered glass on my hip, while Maggie touched the leaves around my ankle.

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at her, "It's not about damage, Hazel. It's about expression. It's about showing people who you are without saying anything. People see the faction symbols and know where I'm from. They have an idea of who I am from the quill and birds on my hand and arm. The tree is for me for home. The words are for the faction I chose." I said as I ran my fingers across my ribs. "And here." I said touching the 'Take flight' on my forearm. "A reminder to be brave in the face of what I'm afraid of."

"Penelope Farrier!" Hazel exclaimed when her eyes beheld the raven down below as she cleaned the graze on my thigh.

Blushing furiously, I bent down, covering myself up. "That's a story for another time." I told her with a meek smile while Maggie silently laughed and winked at me.

Despite the frown on her face, it would seem that both my sisters were a bit entranced with the changes I had made. Not to mention the muscle they'd never seen on me before. It was like I was shiny and new. Though Hazel looked at me with disapproval more than anything, Maggie simply giggled, not only because of my tattoos but for the barbell between my breasts. It was normal and yet weird to be so exposed to them like this. Only they seemed a little more adverse to the scars that came with the tattoos and piercings. Especially the one down my middle.

"My friend Claude is wicked with a knife." I told them as both gently touched the scar. They didn't say anything, making me avert my eyes from them.

When I was clean, Maggie put on a salve to help speed up the healing process, getting me into a pair of jeans and an orange tank top. Walking around my old room, I ran my hands along the surfaces of my dressers, looking at the drawings I had made when I was younger. I picked up a stick with two branches that had grown into the shape of a heart. Maggie and I had found it one day and she had told me some sappy story about how it was meant to be. We had found the stick together so we would always know how much we loved each other. Then I picked up the dog stuffed animal next to the small lamp. My father had given it to me when I was sick, telling me that the dog could hold all my bad feelings. I had forgotten about it. Smirking, I held it against me as I went to the bed, running my hand along the edge of it before sitting down. Taking a deep breath, I took a slow look from one side of the room to the other. Everything looked the same. It was as if they were holding on for me to return. But I wasn't staying. I had to go back.

"You okay?" Maggie asked sitting next to me.

"Not really." I told her, tears in my eyes again. "I didn't plan for all of this. I never wanted it." Taking a deep breath, I tried not to cry again. "I was happy." I told them. "I know that's not what you want to hear. But I was happy."

"A boy?" Maggie grinned. She was ever the optimist. All Hazel managed to do was frown at me.

I nodded, my brows furrowing until they met in the middle, "Yeah." I replied more air than sound. "And I'm in love with him."

"Oh, Pen." Maggie said wrapping her arm around me. "You'll be with him again."

"You don't know that, Maggie." Hazel told her. "We have no idea what's going on except that Abnegation is in ruin and now we're giving sanctuary to Dauntless rebels."

Laughing, I shook my head, "What is your problem, Hazel? Are you telling me you're not happy to see me? Are you telling me that you'd rather I be on the run, fighting for my life? Because that's not very peaceful of you. You should probably go have some bread."

"Enough." Maggie told us. "We're better than this."

"Not anymore." Hazel replied and left.

Sighing, resting my elbows on my knees, I put my head in my hands. I didn't want to fight with them. Not now. Not like this. I was only going to be here for a little while and I didn't want my sister to hate me before I left. Who knows, I may never see them again.

"She'll be all right." Maggie told me, rubbing my back. "I for one think you've become an amazing woman and I'm very proud of you."

Turning my head to look at her, I smiled, feeling exhausted. "Thank you."

Hazel reappeared then, "Mom and Dad want to see you."

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute." I told her softly.

She sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm sorry, okay? I think I'm jealous that you left when I feel like I should have too."

"I know, Hazel." I nodded. "But you know me. I've gotta rebel and now I am labeled as such. You should count yourself lucky."

"What happened?" Hazel asked, her curiosity spiking. I suddenly felt like she would have chosen Erudite. It made my stomach turn and I didn't want to tell her anything. "If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't mind. But I don't know if I should say anything until we meet with the community tomorrow. I'm not sure it's safe."

"Who cares?" She said sitting next to me again.

"Hazel." Maggie scolded.

"It's fine." I told her, holding up my hand. "Hazel, I'm not talking about it until I've discussed it with my faction members." I told my eldest sister with a firm tone.

"Fine." She nodded, though I could hear the disappointment and annoyance in her voice.

"We should go downstairs before Mother comes up here. She'll know somethings wrong." Maggie stated gently.

Hazel and I nodded, making our way downstairs. Sitting next to my father, bringing my knees up to my chest, you'd never know I'd been shot. I gave nothing away. Something Dauntless had taught me. Leaning my head against his shoulder, he put his arm around me, tucking me into his side like he did when I was a child. Mom came and sat in front of me, putting her hand on my knee as if I'd disappear at any moment. Putting my hand over hers, Maggie sat on the floor in front of me, Hazel in the recliner next to us.

They were all staring at me with expectant expressions on their faces. Feeling like a weight was slowly being set on top of my shoulders, I shrugged out of my parents embrace, moving around the coffee table and started to pace. "I can't talk about what's going on." I told them, stopping in front of them.

"We're not asking." Dad told me.

"I know." I nodded. "But I'm sure you're all curious."

"Were you there?" Mom asked.

For a long moment I just looked at her, and then I nodded, "Right in the thick of it."

"Who shot you?" Hazel asked.

I shook my head, "I'm not giving any specifics."

"Why not?" She frowned.

"Hazel." Mother shot at her.

"What?" She shot at our mother. "If she won't tell us then how do we know she's not here to destroy us as well?"

"Hazel!" Our father yelled.

Feeling my anger start to boil, I shot toward her, slamming my hands down on the arms of the chair. Hazel attempted to melt into the back of it, while the rest of my family stood with anxious expressions.

"You have no idea what I've been through." I shot at her. "You cannot even imagine what's going on out there. You're safe here in your little Amity bubble leaving you naïve to what the world is like. You don't want to know what I've seen and done. You don't want to see what I'm capable of, Hazel. I love you, but I no longer belong to the faction of peace. I am not the sister you once knew and I am going to warn you not to test me."

"Pen, strop threatening her." Maggie told me calmly.

Looking over my shoulder at her, I took a deep breath, pushing myself away from my sister. "Me not saying anything isn't just me being stubborn. What you don't know can't hurt you." I told them before meeting Hazel's eyes. "And it can't be used against me."

"We would never do that." Maggie told me, stepping up to me, putting her hand against my shoulder.

"No, you wouldn't." I told her. "But I've been home for only a few hours and I'm gonna be sleeping with one eye open, praying that my sister doesn't turn on me." Now my eyes are back on Hazel.

"She wouldn't do that." Our mother said stepping to her eldest, wrapping her arm around her protectively.

She was so happy to see me when I'd arrived and now she was looking at me like I was a stranger. Laughing lightly, I shook my head, rubbing my right palm with my thumb. "I need to go for a walk." I told them, swiftly moving toward the door.

"Pen, wait." Maggie said following me.

Spinning as fast as possible, she jumped, taking a step back. "Mags, I really need to have a minute alone." Then I looked to my family. I was feeling very judged right now. "And I think you all need a minute as well. Wrap your heads around who I am now, because it's clear on all your faces that you're not sure you like the new me."

"Penelope." My father frowned.

"No, Dad. Please don't try and deny it." I replied with a small smile. "I've never stopped loving you guys and I've been eager to see you. But this is a little too much to take."

With that I turned and moved out of the door. Running, I went to the orchard, climbing a tree and nestling down in the V of two large branches. Burying my face in my knees, I sobbed into them, wrapping my arms around my head, needing to release all my pent up emotions. Putting my face in the crook of my arm, screaming until I felt like my throat was going to tear in two.

"Where are you, Eric?" I asked the night sky. "Please be okay."

Sobbing into my knees for what felt like forever, when I finally quieted down, I stayed where I was until the heat in my cheeks had faded. Dropping from the tree, the momentum put me on my knees, making me sigh and sit on my heels. I didn't want to go back to my parents place. I wanted to go home. I wanted to find Eric.

"Hey." A voice said as steps approached.

Sighing, knowing who it was, I looked at the ground, replying, "Hey."

"Are you okay?"

Looking up at Tris, she knelt in front of me. "I've been better. And yourself?"

She sighed and nodded, "Yeah, better."

"I am so sorry about your parent's, Tris." I told her, tears once again entering my eyes. "I know there's been time to say that before now, but I am so very sorry."

"Thank you." She told me gently. "How are yours?"

Scoffing, I smirked at her, "Second guessing how happy they are to see me."

"I'm sure they're happy to see you." She replied. I met her eyes and sighed. "Did you lose your temper?"

"My sister Hazel is a real piece of work. Way more than she was when I left."

"Did you hit her?" She smirked.

Feeling a little bit better about myself, I smiled at her, "You know, I didn't."

She laughed, "Well, that's something to be proud of."

"Thank you." I told her.

"Be happy that your family is here, Pen. Some of us aren't as lucky." She replied softly.

"Hey." I told her growing serious. "We're family now. It's not about blood anymore. It's about faction and who we are and what we've done together. I love my blood family, I really do. But I'm finding that I love my faction family even more." She smiled, nodding at me. "I would love to take Maggie with us though. She'd be a welcome asset to our dark little family."

She laughed lightly, nodding, "If you say it than it must be true."

"Listen, Tris, I know we don't see eye to eye on much and we'd probably like to kill each other verses actually getting alone, but I do appreciate you."

"Thank you." She told me with a nod.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked her. She nodded again. "Can you please not do anything reckless while we're here? We need them to like us enough to protect us. I need this to work so I can have closure with my family before we go. I need a little time and I need you to help me get it."

It took her a long moment to reply, finally nodding, "I'll do my best."

Knowing that was as good an answer as I could have expected, I nodded at her, "That's all I ask."

Lingering with each other for just a few minutes more, we left the orchard together, splitting up and going to our respective safe houses. Walking through the door, everyone stood from where they had been sitting, watching me with apprehensiveness.

"I'm sorry." I told them.

"It's fine." My mother smiled, stepping up to me and embracing me tightly. "We're just happy you came back."

"Of course I came back." I replied. "I didn't come all this way to bail after the first fight."

Then my dad's arms are around me as well. "We just love you so much, Pen."

"I love you guys too." I replied, though what I told Tris was just as true in this moment as it was when I told her.

Seeing Hazel and Maggie over my mother's shoulder, my eldest sister was looking at me with skeptic eyes and Maggie was smiling at me with the love I knew she held for me. A bond that could never be broken. Smiling at her, she nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back with tea. By the color of it, I knew I was going to be asleep in minutes, and I was okay with that. I needed the dreamless sleep that it would give me. I didn't want to think about Eric or about Four or about anything else. Sleep sounded amazing right now.

After it was gone, Maggie led me upstairs and to my bed. Lying on my good side, well, my better side, I felt her lay down next to me, wrapping her arm around me. Hugging her hand to my chest, I shut my eyes, falling asleep quickly, wishing it was Eric's arms around me.