Title It Came from Mars
Author Uozumi
Fandom Venture Bros
Character(s)/Pairing(s) Dermott Fictel, Gary Fisher, Kano, Action Man, Bud Manstrong, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, the Monarch, OSI, Brock Samson, Dean Venture, Hank Venture, Jonas Venture Sr., Rusty Venture, Billy Whalen, Rose Whalen; mostly gen/take it how you will with brief Dr. Mrs/Monarch
Genre Gen-ish/Scifi/Superhero
Rating PG (PG-13 for language)
Word Count 2,473
Disclaimer Venture Bros c. Hammer, Publick, Adult Swim
Summary A spacecraft returning from Mars sends Kano to Malcom's doorstep and an astronaut to Rusty's roof.
Warning(s) body horror, death, character death, spoilers up through season six episode eight "Red Means Stop"
Notes This is built up on multiple Tumblr posts on my dash that all kind of congealed into this mess in my brain. I can't believe it took me eleven years to get around to writing for this fandom either.

Work Text:

It Came from Mars

"This is Colonel Bud Manstrong of the United States of America. Please identify yourself." Manstrong waited. He was the third mission to stop an unidentified craft approaching the earth. NASA brought him out of retirement for the mission.

The craft did not respond. Its path aligned with Manstrong's spaceshuttle.

"This is Colonel Bud Masntrong of - What the –" Manstrong watched the spacecraft's nose open, exposing an interior hatch. It glowed green. "Houston. Manstrong to Houston, I have – I have a problem." Manstong tried to maneuver the shuttle.

"This is Houston," a voice answered. "What is the problem?"

"It's going to eat me," Manstong said. No matter which way he maneuvered the controls, he could not avoid the gaping maw of the spacecraft.

"What?" Houston asked. There was a pause. "Colonel Manstrong?" Another pause. "Houston to Colonel Manstrong. Come in, Manstrong.

Manstrong could not answer. The spacecraft closed around the shuttle, which joined assorted space debris in the craft's bowel.

Gary almost did not hear the knock at the front door. He had cereal in one hand and his spoon in the other when he opened the door and froze. The man in front of him was very old and very large.

Kano smiled pleasantly.

Before either could say something, they heard high heels in the hallway upstairs. Gary could tell by the smaller, lighter steps it was Sheila. "Shit. I mean…uh…she can't know you're here," he whispered. "Can you use the Morpho Tunnel?"

Kano nodded. He left quickly.

Gary shut the door and began murmuring "Oh my God," repeatedly to himself. He abruptly stopped when he saw Sheila at the top of the stairs.

"So, with the UFO you probably won't have any time to look for the Blue Morpho, right?" Malcolm asked as he followed Sheila down the stairs.

"The Blue Morpho wishes," Sheila said. "NASA knows what it is. They just want to claim it's unregistered Guild technology to hide how much it cost." Once they were both at the end of the staircase, she turned to Malcolm. "Don' t worry about the Blue Morpho. We're going to take care of him, even if I have to find him myself." She sighed and then kissed Malcolm briefly when a car pulled up to the house. "I'll be late. I'll see you tonight."

"Good…luck," Malcolm offered weakly. He watched her leave and only after he heard the car leave did he sigh. "We are so fucked," he said at the same time Gary said, "You are never going to believe who's here."

There was a brief pause.

"What?" Malcolm asked.

"Oh my God. I couldn't say anything. You're not going to believe this," Gary said and led the way to the Morpho Cave. He considered pointing out that Malcolm might want to change into something other than the bathrobe and animal print underwear, but he already knew Malcolm would point out they had nowhere to go until the next person tried to arch Rusty.

When they landed in the cave, they could see Kano waiting. Malcolm looked at Gary and said, "The point of a secret lair is to keep it secret."

"Seriously?" Gary asked. "He's the guy who created it. He is Kano. The original Kano."

Malcolm's eyes narrowed. "He's too old and too short. Kano was almost as tall as my dad."

"Malcolm," Kano said, "it's been thirty years." He approached slowly.

Malcolm tensed and his eyes changed when he recognized Kano. Gary's gaze shifted between them.

Kano stopped, keeping his distance, uncertain of what Malcolm might do. "I'm sorry. I thought no one survived. On that day I –"

"Don't." Malcolm held his hand up and took a deep breath. He held Kano's gaze. "Why are you here?"

"I've been hearing stories of a Blue Morpho. Everyone thinks it's Rusty, but he doesn't have it in him." Kano kept his gaze firmly on Malcolm. "There's a spacecraft returning from Mars," Kano said, "and it contains Jonas Venture. He left instructions that Rusty cannot carry out, but I think you can."

In New York, a similar conversation was taking place in Rose and Action Man's apartment. They gathered at the table with Billy, Pete, Brock, Hank, and Dean. There something on the table that looked like a radio and kept flashing red.

"We all have one of these," Action Man explained. "Jonas said it would know when he was in orbit."

"Jonas Venture's been dead for almost thirty years," Brock said. "What did you do? Launch his body into space?"

"Ah…well," the Action Man ran a hand through his hair, "when the Martians came things got really weird. I don't remember a lot of it. I was in an out of withdrawal." He sighed. "Jonas decided to go with them, something about vaccines. He told us to tell Rusty he died. We burnt down part of the compound and buried the ashes in an urn."

"I remember the funeral," Rose said. "It was very private. The public funeral happened months later."

"You went to the funeral?" Billy asked. "I had no idea. How did I not know?"

"You were in school," Rose said.

Dean's frown deepened. "But why hide it? Why didn't you just tell Pop that Grandpa had gone to Mars?" Rusty's addictions and eccentricities swirled in Dean's mind.

"It was Jonas' idea," Action Man said. "We didn't really question him."

"I see," Hank murmured. "Grandpa was so worried he would come back as an alien zombie that he took precautions."

"Or he was worried what diseases he might return with," Billy said. He looked at Action Man. "You mentioned something about vaccines."

"He didn't really explain," Action Man said.

"So, do we know where he's going to land?" Brock asked. "What do we actually know?"

As the plots against Jonas Venture continued, in the west there was a streak of red light in the sky over a music festival taking place on the remnants of the Venture compound. It was the third day of the festival. The music was forgettable and the public indecency was rampant. The abandoned compound made the best setting for such things since police did not travel out that far and there were no neighbors to disturb.

The spacecraft landed where the landing area for the X1 was. The music quieted but did not stop. The crowd looked to the spacecraft for the first glimpse of the inevitable celebrity. People called out random names, hoping to guess correctly.

The cockpit opened and an astronaut descended. His shoulder were broad and he was taller than most. He wore a full spacesuit and helmet.

"What the fuck?" someone shouted. Similar sentiments rumbled through the crowd. The band went back to playing.

The astronaut observed the crowd and then said, "Intruders." He held out his hand and then the wrist flipped down to display a laser. He began to fire into the crowd, killing some and scattering others. People ran for their cars or dove into their tents. When there was no more movement nearby, the astronaut stopped at the fallen statue of Jonas Venture and stared at the stone head lying apart from the body in the mud. He looked at what was left of the charred compound and murmured quietly, "Rusty…."

Rusty Venture, miles away, was perplexed. There was no one home at VenTech Tower. Even Hatred clocked out and was nowhere to be found. The phone in the penthouse rang. There was only one person who called him on the phone he bothered to talk to.

"Hey, Dad," Dermott said. Dermott kept in touch with Rusty and the twins since the move.

"If you want to talk to Hank, he's hopefully at work," Rusty said. "He won't be home for a while."

"I don't want to talk to Hank right now," Dermott said. "There are a bunch of people in work right now talking about where you used to live." In the last few months Dermott started working at the diner his mom worked at. It was currently packed with people, some covered in mud, some in blood, and some in both. "I can't talk long, but they said some space douche started shooting at them."

"'Space douche…?' What?" Rusty asked.

"Yeah, said he landed and called them intruders or something," Dermott said. "Sounded like your kind of thing." He heard enough stories from Hank.

Rusty quieted and tried to think of anyone who might seek revenge from space. "Where's Billy when I need him?" Rusty muttered. Billy knew Rusty's life better than Rusty did. "Look, Dermott, I don't know what it is, but just tell people the compound's radioactive or something. Maybe he'll go back to space." The radioactivity was not a lie.

"Sure," Dermott said. "I'd have called earlier but my boss has been riding my ass."

"Hey! You're on the clock!" Dermott's boss shouted at him.

"Anyway, I have to go back to work," Dermott said. "Talk to you later." He hung up.

Rusty hung up and stared out the window a moment. He hoped the "space douche" was not his brother back from the dead. That was the last thing he needed, to get evicted from the best place he ever lived. Rusty sighed and pressed the button on his watch for Brock.

"Hey, Doc," Brock said.

"Where are you?" Rusty asked.

"Uh…out," Brock said. He was still at the apartment, but Rusty did not pay enough attention to the wall behind Brock to notice.

Rusty sighed. "I found out we've got some crazy spaceman at the compound. I don't know if he's looking for me or my dad. I'm going to head to the panic r…" Rusty's voice trailed when he heard a loud thump on his patio. He held his breath.

"Doc?" Brock asked.

"Just…come back here," Rusty hurriedly said and temporarily muted his watch so he would not attract more attention. He could see the astronaut from the compound across the patio on the other side of the pool. They stared at each other.

"Rusty," the astronaut said through the communication system in his suit. He sounded robotic but familiar.

"D…Dad…" Rusty whispered. His breath caught. He could not look away or run away. All the anger felt numb in his limbs. All the things he wanted to rant at his father dissipated.

The astronaut took a step forward and then abruptly fell forward into the pool when the Morphomobile flew across the patio. It landed roughly on the roof. Soon after, ropes appeared in Rusty's view and both the new Blue Morpho and the new Kano landed.

Malcolm tugged on the rope and it retracted to his belt. "Do you think he's going to drown? We could just leave him there," he said quietly enough that Rusty could not make out what he said from the penthouse.

"He's wearing a spacesuit," Gary said.

"It's not a scuba suit," Malcolm said. He jumped when Rusty opened the door to the patio.

"He's going to drown," Rusty said. He grabbed Malcolm's arm. "You've got to do something." All the questions Rusty ever wanted to ask flew through his mind. The thought of burying his father again set a sour taste in his mouth.

"Uh…Kano?" Malcolm said. "Kano, go…save him."

Gary looked at Malcolm. "You're the Blue Morpho."

"You're the muscle," Malcolm said.

Gary sighed and removed his shoes and hat before jumping into the pool.

Malcolm turned to Rusty. "Don't worry, Citizen. We'll do whatever it takes."

Rusty slowly let go of Malcolm and moved back so Malcolm was between him and anything strange that might happen at the pool's edge.

Gary surfaced and called out. "He's too heavy. I can't get the suit off either."

"Oh for…" Malcolm's voice trailed. He looked at Rusty briefly and then he remove his shoes, knelt down, and slid into the pool. "We came here to kill him," Malcolm hissed at Gary quietly.

"I know," Gary whispered back, "but not in front of his son."

"But it really would fuck him up, wouldn't it?" Malcolm asked. Gary sighed. Malcolm then took a deep breath and headed under the water. Gary followed. They used their retractable ropes to help get the astronaut to the pool ladder and then up onto the patio.

"Is he…?" Rusty asked. He moved closer slowly.

"Don't know," Malcolm said. He looked at Gary. "Remove his helmet, Kano."

Gary sighed and knelt down. He carefully, slowly reached out for the helmet, ready for the astronaut to rise up and bite him at any moment. He undid the latch and raised the visor.

Rusty, Malcolm, and Gary let out a collective noise of disgust. The astronaut had Jonas Venture's square jaw and distinctive nose but his skin was a scaly green and his hair thin and white. Something yellow oozed from his mouth. The astronaut coughed and looked up at them. "My sons…" he murmured.

"What?" Rusty asked. "It's me, Dad. Just Rusty." He knelt down but did not touch the astronaut. "Don't go. I have so many questions."

"No time for questions," the astronaut rasped. He coughed and more yellow oozed from his mouth. "Protect your brother, Rusty," he wheezed.

"I can't protect JJ. He's dead," Rusty said. He paused. "How did you even know about him? Where have you been?"

The astronaut coughed again and began to shiver in the chilly air. "No time," his voice grew quieter. "Malcolm," the astronaut wheezed, "listen to your …" he exhaled. "Burn my body," he wheezed and stopped shivering.

No one moved. No one spoke. "D…Dad…" Rusty breathed.

When Brock reached the compound, the astronaut still lay dead on the patio. The Morphomobile still rested on the roof of the penthouse and the Blue Morpho's hat and mask floated in the pool. Brock moved through the penthouse stealthily until he reached the kitchen. Malcolm and Rusty sat at the table. Brock could not see Gary but he knew Gary stood at the stove boiling water.

"What the hell?" Brock asked.

Rusty looked at the doorway. "They saved me from my alien father. Where were you?"

"Nowhere," Brock said. The teapot whistled. He inspected it along with the mugs and coffee before pouring one mug for Rusty and one for himself. Satisfied it was not poisoned, he gave one mug to Rusty.

Gary retrieved a fourth mug and soon all of them sat at the kitchen table. After a long bout of silence, Malcolm said, "This is fucking weird."

Back at the abandoned Venture compound, an OSI team gathered around the spacecraft.

"Be ready. No telling what is in this thing," Hunter advised his men.

"Knock knock," Shore Leave said as he jimmied the nose of the craft open causing Bud Manstrong to tumble out of the craft and land at Hunter's feet.

The End