Wow. I sure have been taking my sweet time with updating, haven't I?

. . . sorry not sorry.

I've been working on a lot of stuff, and I've been suffering from writer's block on certain stories. Sorry if I sound annoyed - I'm kinda irritated with myself for now updating more often. I keep getting all these awesome new ideas for fics that I don't want to put up until I reach the halfway mark on a few of my stories. For the record, the next chapter (Chapter 6) will be the halfway mark for this fic :3

Review Replies:

Loki God of Evil: Um . . . I think I'll take that as a compliment. And I can kind of imagine how hard that would be to hear - not from experience though.

SwimmerNinja13: Thanks! :3

Well, guess I'd better get going. Oh, and if you see an asterisk (this little fella: *), that means there's a footnote for the thing at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 5: Struggling

Nya was struck speechless. Oh, gosh. . . Poor Jay, she thought, only able to stare at him, which made him more miserable. "I didn't want to tell you, Nya," he said, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "I didn't want you to know you were going to end up marrying a nobody: an orphan who was ditched by his real parents for who knows why, and couldn't even call a junkyard his real home. But I knew that lying would make me feel even worse. Especially lying to you: my future wife whom I love and treasure so deeply."

Jay was trying so hard not to cry, but he could not hold back the cold, salty tears streaming freely from his beautiful blue eyes. Nya hated seeing her sweet fiance cry, because when he did, he looked so unhappy, which was a drastic change from his normally bright and cheerful self.

She gently rubbed Jay's back, massaging his tense muscles. She didn't say anything; she just quietly sat beside him, keeping one arm draped around him and letting him sob.

Eventually, Jay's sobs subsided, and he gave his red-rimmed eyes one final swipe with his fist before putting his glasses back on. "I've been a regular old fire hydrant the past few weeks, haven't I?" he said, with a weak attempt at his old smile.

"Crying's not a bad thing, Jay," said Nya, a little awkwardly.

"I know, I know - but it still feels weird when you can't stop." He sniffled. "You wouldn't happen to have a Kleenex, would you?"

After rummaging in her pocket, Nya discovered she did have a wad of unused Kleenexes on hand. "Here, Jaybird," she said with a weak smile, handing him the tissues.

"Thanks, Nys." Jay blew his nose vigorously into the handful of Kleenex. "It's just . . . gosh. I feel like I'm on that ride at Mega Monster Amusement Park: you know, the Hurl-n-Whirl or whatever it's called, gone haywire. I feel upside-down and sideways and every which way, and it's making me sick."

"I can imagine," Nya murmured. She winced at the slightly sad look Jay gave her. He could see that she honestly couldn't fathom what he was going through at this time.

"Okay, maybe I can't imagine exactly," she confessed. "But I think I have a pretty good idea of it. When our parents disappeared, when Kai was five and I was three, we didn't know what was going on. Our parents were gone, just like that. But then our grandparents―both sets of them―came to take care of us. They raised us, but we didn't forget our real parents."

"But I forgot my real parents: I was adopted when I was almost three!" Jay squeaked, voice cracking again.

"That's what I first thought when Kai reminded me of that," said Nya gently. "For awhile, I did think that Kai, Abuelo, Abuelita, Ojisan, and Obasan* were my only family. But there were still little traces of my parents left in my memory: my father's smile, my mother's laugh, an old lullaby, just little things like that."

Jay was silent for a few moments. Then, he said, "Nya, I appreciate you trying to give me some hope about my parents, but it's actually making me feel worse. The fact that you had not only your brother, but both sets of grandparents to rescue you when your mom and dad disappeared . . . it's just not the same. You had people to remind you of your past. I didn't." He rested his chin in his hands, not meeting her eyes.

Nya couldn't help feeling frustrated with her fiance. She wanted to call him out for pitying himself like this, but as she watched him, shoulders trembling with restrained tears, she remembered all the times he had gone through something tough: something that affected him and him alone, and not once did he complain about it. He freaked out, sure, or put a smile on and tried to laugh it off, or―and this drove Nya crazy―he tried to deal with it by himself, not telling his teammates what was going on until he was forced to. Nya hated it when he tried to handle his big problems all by himself, but now that he was opening up more―not just to her, but to his other teammates―she found herself thinking he was acting like a kid who wasn't getting his way.

He has a point, you know, a voice in her head said quietly. You had your older brother and two sets of grandparents to watch out for you after your parents disappeared. They told you so much about your parents, it was almost like you knew them, even though they didn't raise you. Jay's adopted parents knew practically nothing about his biological parents, so they couldn't tell him what they were like―whether they loved him. You may think you know what he's feeling, but, be honest with yourself. You don't.

Nya sighed. What could she do then?

"What do you want me to do, Jay?" The question slipped out before she could stop herself. She hadn't intended to speak her thoughts out loud, but there it went, right off her tongue and into the crisp winter air.

Jay didn't reply. He just hung his head and turned away.

Nya bit her lip, chewing it pensively as she searched for something to say. She hated seeing Jay hurting so much, but she didn't know how to help. And that made her feel even worse.

"You're right," she said quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know how you must be feeling, and I probably never will. But I've felt some of the same things you're probably struggling with: shame, insecurity, rejection."

Jay looked up, face hidden in his coat sleeves, but under his hat brim, she could see he was slightly surprised. This spurred her to continue. "You don't think people have picked on Kai and me for not having real parents? For learning a trade that people dismiss as old-fashioned and unnecessary? Heck, I've been picked on for just being a girl."

"Whoever did that to you needs a brain transplant." Jay's voice was muffled by his sleeve, but Nya still heard it, and she smiled.

"You're sweet," she said softly. "But not a lot of people shared that belief in my hometown. Kai and I were the weird kids with the parents who ditched them for no reason and the grandparents who were behind the times. In fact, the only place we really felt accepted was when Sensei Wu recruited Kai to be a ninja."

"Kai?" At this, Jay looked up, blue eyes wide behind the black rims of his glasses. The most popular guy on Chirp and FaceBase**? A social outcast? You're kidding, right?"

"Kai would wish I were kidding." Despite the relative gravity of the topic, Nya laughed out loud at the look of disbelief on her fiance's face. It took a minute for Jay to get it, but he laughed too: a good, honest Jay Walker laugh, the laugh that reminded her of pleasant jaybird chatter. Jay was the only person who could make "jaybird chatter" sound even remotely pleasant, and he made it exceedingly so. "But you wouldn't think it to look at him, would you?"

"Either of you: I mean, Kai's the cool guy on the block and everything, but you're so smart and brave and pretty and―" Jay stopped mid-sentence, blushing. "Was I rambling again?"

"A little." Nya gently kissed him on the cheek. "But it's a sign that you're feeling better . . . right?"

Jay nodded. His mouth curved into that adorable lopsided smile that Nya loved. "Yeah . . . I'm feeling a little better. Still hurting, but it's not so bad now." That lopsided smile transitioned into a unstoppable yawn. "Gosh, that cry felt good, but now I'm really sleepy. . ."

Nya couldn't help smiling as Jay's head slumped sideways, resting against her shoulder, eyelids slipping shut. "Oh, Jay," she murmured, softly kissing his cheek again; she took his keys from his pocket. "Let's get you home."

Nya carefully maneuvered Jay's car into the garage. Her fiance showed no signs of waking, breathing softly in his sleep as she helped him out of the passenger seat and up to the front door. Checking her watch, she noted that it was nine-forty-five. The others would probably be watching TV.

Shifting Jay's arms draped over her shoulders, Nya knocked on the door, she couldn't reach her keys for fear of accidentally dropping Jay.

It took only thirty seconds for someone answer, though it felt longer. Kai opened the door, dressed in a red bathrobe over matching striped pajamas. "Hey, sis, how was your date?" he asked, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

"Enlightening," she replied. "Where are the guys?"

"Zane and Zorane got back about a half-hour ago with yet another addition to the Julien family***," said Kai, scrubbing at his amber eyes. "Zane'll explain once you―" He finally noticed that a sleeping Jay was slung across his sister's shoulders. "What's up with Jay?" He seemed more alert now, and concerned.

"He hasn't been drinking, if that's what you're concerned about," Nya said patiently. "He's just had something of a rough night. I let him sleep, and I'm going to put him to bed now."

"I think maybe one of us should probably change him into his pajamas," said the Master of Fire quickly. "C'mon, give me an arm."

Carefully, without disturbing the sleeping Master of Lightning, Kai and Nya helped change Jay into his pajamas and tuck him into his bed.

Jay made a soft purring sound in his sleep, his mouth curving into a small half-smile as Nya gently tucked his favorite plush cat: a worn, well-loved Tigger toy, into his arms. "I think I'll stay with him for a bit," she said to her older brother, gently stroking her fiance's hair. "I'll join you guys in about a half-hour."

"All right." Kai exited the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. "We'll probably be in the media room."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife!"

Jay smiled tenderly down at Nya. They were onboard an 18th-century sailing ship, bedecked in white and blue in honor of the wedding celebration which was just being concluded.

"You may kiss the bride," the minister said.

Jay bent down to kiss Nya . . . but he didn't get the chance.

A blast of cannonfire rocked the ship, sending shrieking wedding guests diving over the side in terror. Nya clung to Jay, frightened, as a gang of vicious-looking pirates swung onto the deck, forming a sneering, sniggering ring around the young couple. Jay boldly shielded his bride from the ruffians, but the ring parted to make way for one pirate, clearly their leader, although he was strangely blurred in appearance. Jay couldn't exactly make out what the man looked like, but he felt a surge of hatred well up in him at the man's presence.

"Well, well, what have we here?" the man purred, eyeing the silver band on Jay's finger. "A pretty pair of newlyweds."

Jay held Nya protectively to him. "Stay away from Nya," he said fiercely.

The pirate smirked. "Oh, I'll claim my prize soon enough. Right now, I have some looting to take care of, starting with those rings."

"Nya's not a prize to be won, you cad," Jay snarled. "And we're not giving up our wedding rings!"

"In that case, I'll have to take them from you!" Seizing Jay's hand, the pirate tugged on the ring on Jay's finger. The silver band remained firmly fitted around Jay's finger, but the pirate only smirked at the stubborn band. "You know what happens when the ring won't come off?"

"You let us off and move on?" Jay asked hopefully.

"No. We chop off the finger!" Seizing Jay's wrist, the pirate drew his cutlass with his other hand.

"NO!" Nya cried, desperately struggling to get to Jay, but she was restrained by two more pirates. "Let him go, please!"

The pirate ignored her, and with one swift stroke and a sickening crack, Jay's ring finger fell to the deck, blood splattering everywhere. "AHH!" Jay cried out in pain, clutching his bloody hand and falling to his knees, tormented by throbbing blasts of agony.

"JAY! HELP!" Looking up, Jay's heart jumped clear into his throat. The two pirates who were holding his bride were dragging her backwards into the captain's cabin.

"NYA!" Jay screamed. He tried to get up, but his feet were like cement. He was unable to move, unable to save his beloved. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!"

"Throw the boy overboard!" The captain's voice came through the cabin door.

Two pairs of burly hands seized the young man, and before he knew what was happening, Jay was falling through an immense darkness. "NYA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"****

Jay sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily. The young man quickly switched on his light. Holding up his hand under the light, he inwardly sighed with relief―all of his fingers were intact, although the base of his ring finger was still tingling with an invisible pressure.*****

"Jay?"

"AHH!" Jay yelped, nearly jumping out of bed at the unexpected voice at his bedside.

"Calm down, it's just me!" Jay looked, pupils dilated, at Nya. Her lovely face was marked with an expression of concern. "Are you all right? You were writhing in your sleeping, and whimpering."

Jay forced a smile. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream. But . . . what happened? Why am I in bed?"

"You fell asleep at the park, so I brought you home," Nya explained.

Jay's blue eyes widened in shock. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, Nya―"

"It's all right, it's all right," she cut him off gently. "You don't have to apologize. But . . . do you think you'll be okay for doing the worship service tomorrow?"

"Of course I'll be okay!" Jay protested. "I'm not that tired."

She looked at him questioningly. "I don't mean physically tired. I mean emotionally. You've been through a lot lately, and I'm sure Pastor Michael will understand if you tell him that you can't lead this week. I don't want you stressing yourself out."

There was a moment's silence, punctured only by Jay's easing breathing. "I don't want me stressing myself out either," he said finally, flopping back onto his pillows with a sigh. "Could you ask Kai if he could take over for tomorrow?"

"Of course." Nya's worried expression shifted into a smile. "But if I leave, can you promise you won't have another bad dream?"

"I'll have to 'let my yes be yes and my no be no' on this one," Jay said with a rueful smile.

"Fair enough. But I think you'll need this all the same." Kneeling beside Jay's bed, with her hand resting over his, Nya closed her eyes. "Dear God, please bless and protect Jay in his sleep. Guard him with Your mighty angels, and restore and bring healing to his heart and soul as he goes through this difficult time. May he have good sleep with pleasant dreams, and lift whatever may be burdening him away while he sleeps. In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

"Amen." Jay smiled gratefully at his fiancee as she stood up. "Thank you for that, Nya," he said. "I really did need it."

"You're more than welcome." Nya bent down and softly kissed Jay's forehead, drawing up the covers around his shoulders. "I love you, Jay."

"I love you too, Nya. See you in the morning."

"I'll see you then."

* = I have a headcanon that Kai and Nya have Spanish and Japanese blood; dominantly Japanese on Ray's side, dominantly Spanish on Maya's. Abuelo and Abuelita are the Spanish words for "grandpa" and "grandma", while Ojisan and Obasan are the Japanese words for the honorific forms of the same.

** = FaceBase is from Adventures in Odyssey, a combination of FaceBook and . . . something else XD

*** = This story correlates with an unpublished fanfic called Only an Echo which exists in the same universe. I'm not going give anything away, but . . . the name's in the title :3

**** = Maybe this is prophetic . . . maybe it's not :3

***** = This "aftershock" is based off something I experienced: I had a dream where I got stung by a scorpion in the palm of my hand, and when I woke up, the palm of my hand was tingling like there had been pressure put directly on that spot.

#God's Not Dead!

#Fear Isn't A Word Where I Come From! Perfect Love Casts Out ALL Fear!

#Proud NinjNerd!