I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS. ALL CHARACTERS ARE PROPERTY OF ERIC KRIPKE AND RELATING STUDIOS.

Castiel sat on the bench as he gazed upon the heavenly portal. Things had been...complicated..lately. And that was a bit of an understatment. Everytime things seemed to be going good for himself and his friends something had to come alone and destroy it. Things had been tense, very tense.

He had been briefly considering returning to Heaven, and that's how he found himself here at the deserted park that was only inhabited by the gate keeper.

But, once he had gotten here he had changed his mind. He didn't want to return to Heaven, not really. He missed it from time to time, but it wasn't the same as it had been years ago. Now it was...different. And he still wasn't sure if that was a good thing. And besides that, he would miss Earth. He had come to love the humans and their ways...especially his humans.

The Winchesters had become more family to him than his own brothers and sisters ever had.

"What is troubeling you, Castiel?" the gate keeper asked walking up to him. Today she was a little girl in a delicate pink dress. She had a habit of changing vessels every few weeks.

"Nothing, I'm just...thinking." he replied. He didn't look her in the eye as she stood before him, but kept his gaze on the ground.

"Thinking..yes..thinking. Thinking never really bodes well in your precense." she said cooly. Despite her sweet deamener, their were times she could be cold as ice.

"Don't worry. I'm just thinking about the Winchesters." he snapped. He felt tired, which was unusal for an angel.

The gate keeper nodded and smiled, before going back to playing on the playground equipment.

Cas pulled out his cell phone and rolled it over in is hands. He had 15 missed calls from Sam and Dean. They were worried about him. He smiled as he thought about this...he remembered a time when they wouldn't have cared..a time when they wanted him gone and wanted nothing to do with him.

He was glad that time was over.

"Perhaps I should call them back?" he asked himself in a soft whisper. He held it in his hand a few more minutes before he finally decided and flicked open the flipphone and hit Deans number on speed dial.

It had barely rung once when he answered. Castiel could hear his heavy breathing on the other end and tried to fight back a smile.

"Castiel, where the hell are you, Man?" Dean asked. His voice was rushed and angry, but under that anger Cas could hear the worry and fear...the worry and fear that he had caused. He felt bad suddenly and thought about hanging up the phone, but didn't. Instead he just sat their, listening to Deans breath on the other end.

"Cas, you there?" Dean asked. Castiel sighed, snapped back into reality, and took a deep breath.

"Yes, I'm here Dean." He said.

"Dammit, Cas. What's going on? You just dissapear on us for weeks without a single call? You had us worried sick." Dean snapped. He was angry again, and Castiel felt evern worse than he had before.

"I know, Dean. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you and Sam to worry. But things, things are complicated right now."

He could hear Dean grunt on the other end.

"I don't care how complicated they are. We deserve an explanation. Where are you?" he demanded. His voice was gruff, but even through the gruffness Castiel could a softness that didn't seep out often.

"I'm at Heavens portal." he repled meekly. He waited for the response, but none came. All he heard was Deans muffled breathing and then some mummoring on the other end as he, Cas assumed, talked to Sam.

And then, finally, Dean responded.

"Heavens portal? What the hell man. What are you doing there? What's going on? Talk to us, Cas!"

Cas sighed. He wanted to talk about it with Dean, he really did. But he couldn't. Talking to them about it would only put them in danger, and he would never put his friends in danger.

"Dean, you know things have been strained lately. Things are..off..in Heaven." Cas said.

He could practically hear Dean rolling it all over in his mind as he saught for something to say.

"Cas, I don't understand. What's going on?"

Castiel sighed, and gazed upon the portal. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to put his friends in danger but he didn't wan tot reaturn to heaven. Things were so mushed up in his head and he was getting so frustrated. All he wanted was for things to be good again. He wanted to relax with his friends, he wanted to hunt and laugh and be a normal person.

As noraml as an angel of Heaven could be.

"Dean, I can't talk about. Don't make this harder than it has to be!" he snapped. "Please, just...have fun in Pakempsy." Cas said, sure to excuinchate the last word (sorry I can't spell)

He heard sense Dean taking it all in before Castiel sighed and said.
"Look, Dean. I have to go. I'll talk to you later."

An with that Castiel hung up the phone and stuck it in his pocket as he stood up and took a deep breath. He thought of his friends once more as he thought about all that had been happening lately.

And, with one final smile, he walked toward the portal.