She shouldn't have lost that fight, but she had. And she hadn't just lost, she'd been poofed, almost shattered, and Steven and Connie had been the ones to drive Jasper off.

'I'd expected more from a Quartz, even if you are just a runt. And I'm supposed to believe Rose Quartz trained something like you?'

The comment had struck a nerve. It had been meant to hurt, maybe even to get her angry. It worked. She'd curled into a ball and charged, only for Jasper to kick her aside. Like she was no more than a soccer ball, no more than a nuisance. Like she was no threat at all.

'Pathetic.'

'Weak.'

I'm not weak, Amethyst thought, gripping fistfuls of her hair as she just curled in tighter on herself. So what if she wasn't a huge soldier? So what? That didn't make her any less a Quartz. That didn't make her weak!

No, but losing to Jasper did.

'And you call yourself a Quartz. Heh. Embarrassing. Something like you would have been shattered in the war.'

"I'm not a Quartz," Ame whimpered. "I'm not a Quartz."

She wasn't sure what she was.

Defective, overcooked, runt. That's me.

Those thoughts were deafening, suffocating. She was supposed to be big, she was supposed to be like Jasper or Rose. So why wasn't she? Why had she come out so late? Why was she so...her? What kind of sick joke was it, for whatever decided to make her like this?

Why was she never good enough?

Her face pressed hard against the dirt, her body shielded from the world by her cocoon of lavender hair as she sniffled, grinding her teeth in frustration.

Rose had said she was perfect the way she was.

Rose had lied.

The Pearl Prize Pouch may have been temporarily...retired seeing as Pearl was still a little miffed about Amethyst and Steven ruining the ruins. But Amethyst couldn't help the sheepish and small grin that was on her face. Steven apologized up and down to Pearl who sighed heavily, shook her head and sent them back to the temple with a smile. At least that had been easily forgiven. Somewhat.

Warping back into the house, Amethyst headed over to the couch, looking forward to catching some sleep she'd missed the night before. She flopped onto the sofa without grace and released a tired breath. Geez, Steven could really pack a wallop.

"Amethyst?"

One indigo opened lazily.

"Are you...really feeling better?"

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Ame sat up so that Steven had her full attention. But upon sitting all the way up, the Gem was wrapped up in a fierce hug from the hybrid. Amethyst braced her weight on one hand, chuckling in surprise. "I'm feeling better, Ste-cup." Her mind thought back to Jasper, and her words, and she bit the inside of her cheek.

"I just... You know I think you're the best."

Her expression softened and her free hand wrapped around the kid. "Don't tell Garnet," she quipped.

Jasper's words kept ringing in her head, but Amethyst pushed them back. Jasper was all by herself out there, resorting to recruiting corrupted Gems into a makeshift army. She'd said it herself, fighting was her entire life. Amethyst had her family. She had a home. It was hard to forget that when Steven was so persistent in reminding her. And hey, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

So what if she wasn't the Quartz soldier she was supposed to be.

She was a Crystal Gem.

The first part of this was actually written before Crack the Whip aired, though yes I did add the Rose said she was perfect thing in after viewing it. The rest of it was written after Bismuth but takes place after Steven vs Amethyst.

Man, season three is coming to an end, only like five episodes left. Tsk.

Anyway, this isn't one of my best but it's something I felt like writing. Ame has been getting hit pretty hard lately.

I'm out! Peace!