Authors note: Welcome to the most insane idea I have yet, one that I would like to thank a certain fanfic author for helping me out with, because there is no way I could do most of this without his help. Before you read the story, just know that this may not make much sense, it will be quite the interesting story, but that's fine since this is about having fun from all my serious stories I've been making.

Not much else to say except sit back and read the show.

Prologue: It's Always Sunny in the Club with No Name

O-O-O

The universe can be a cruel place to live in.

Life sucks, that's a fact everyone can understand. Whether people's hobbies are solving mysteries, fighting supervillains or conquering worlds across the stars, there's always those several accidents and misfortunes anyone can suffer. The natural reaction for anyone who suffers from life is to unwind at bars or go out with friends to club, mostly to get drunk and make regrettable life choices that stay inside the bar... hopefully.

But while there are many places to go, there's only one place in the entire universe where heroes, villains and those in between can go; the No Name Club.

What is the No Name Club you may ask? A club with no name sounds like a quirky title, but one that's capable of attracting the best and the worst the universe has to offer. The only neutral ground where morally sound and morally bankrupt people can hang out to drink, party, and get away with questionable acts that stay in the club; a golden rule of the establishment by the founder.

Heroes committing sin? Villains opening up? Only the No Name Club provides such tales.

Today was a relatively slow night. Not many of the usual bar patrons were around, but the tips provided were enough to keep the staff well paid and prevent the formation of a union; something that made the founder of this club shutter in fear. By one of the bar tables looking from across the poker tables in the center, about six patrons sat around and were chatting with one another.

The common view of average people would see a group of teenagers loitering in a place where they weren't supposed to be, but oddly enough they were customers. Stanley had rules in place for minors, but his greed allowed him to make exceptions and minors was one of them as long as the club was secret.

"So Dipper." Said a teen with curly red hair. "Your uncle is awesome for letting us chill out here. Dimension hopping is such a pain, ya know?"

"I know right?" Commented a Latino teen with a red hoodie. "Star and I love going on adventures, but a place like this is what we needed."

The blonde girl known as Star gave a playful shove next to her red hoodie companion. "Oh come on, Marco! You know you love it."

Marco wrapped his arm around Star's shoulders, who giggled at the act. "Not as much as I love you."

Marco and Star had their moment interrupted by an annoyed groan.

"Dude, that's really sappy." A red head lumberjack girl commented. "I mean, I like sappy sometimes but, right here?"

"I have to agree with Wendy. Don't take what goes on out there to in here, if you know what I mean. "The teen from earlier called Dipper spoke up. "By the way, Penn. It's Grunkle."

"Do you actually know what you mean?" Interrupted a pig tailed girl next to Penn, who then looked at Star and Marco. "Because I do, and I'm pretty sure everyone else does at this table."

"Like what, Sashi?" Asked the curly haired boy. "Do you mean… What do you mean?"

Sashi rolled her eyes at the boy. "Penn, you know what it is. You're just messing with me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Penn shrugged his shoulders, giving Sashi a glance and saw an annoyed glare at his direction.

Marco cleared his throat, poorly hiding his nervous reaction. "What are you talking about?"

"You fucked in the restroom." Wendy blurted out.

Everyone else at the table groaned in disgust at the sudden topic, excluding Star and Marco who simply flushed their cheeks red.

"So that's what that white stuff was." Penn thought out loud.

"Dude, that's fucking gross." Dipper remarked to Penn, then turning to see Marco's red face. "Like seriously man? Out of all places?"

"We were horny!" Marco defended. "Teenagers do things! And we prefer those things to be kept secret!"

"Do you know how it's like to be a Mewman?" Star aided in Marco's poor argument. "We had to 'release tension'. Humans do that all the time."

"Yeah, but in a public restroom? There's all kinds of germs and STDs and like, everything is just gross." Dipper stated as a matter of factly.

"It's also very inconsiderate." Penn added, making Marco snort in disbelief.

"Inconsi- How is that inconsiderate?"

"What if someone has to go pee or take a dump REALLY badly, and that poor bastard has to listen to you two doing something that's not number one or two?"

"Did you at least flush?" Asked Dipper, now more annoyed. "Because I don't want to see your business on the floor again. Grunkle Stan made me clean the restroom last week and now I'm wondering; who's the only couple sex crazed enough to do that?"

"So what? Nothing wrong with having a little fun." Star wiggled her eyebrows at Marco, rubbing his hand lightly with her thumb.

Dipper however, noticed the sensual move and had enough of this conversation.

"No! No, no, no, no. You two are now banned from the restrooms!" Dipper exclaimed to the couple, much to their frustration.

"Aw come on, dude!" Marco argued. "Why do you have to be such a downer?"

"I don't want to clean strange sticky fluids with a mop every time I walk inside there." Dipper argued back, shuddering at the memory. "You two are out of control!"

"Weeeeeell, we can get a little wild. Maybe a little weird." Star somewhat agreed. "But that's still not fair!"

Dipper went on to argue with Marco about the moralities of having sex in the restroom, Star simply butted in the conversation to support Marco and only made things dirtier, and all Penn could do was let the heated exchange play out. Wendy simply smiled at what was going on, trying to contain her snickers.

"You wanted them to argue, didn't you?" Sashi asked the red head.

"Yup." Wendy answered truthfully. "Boys argue about stupid things all the time, so why not have fun with it?"

Sashi shook her head and hid the smirk from Wendy's gaze, not wanting her serious nature to be compromised so soon.

When the arguing died down, Dipper sighed in frustration, leaning his small frame back on his chair.

"I am so glad we're the only ones here."

"I HEARD EVERYTHING!"

An annoying voice rang out to the shock of Dipper, one too familiar for the group to hear on a daily basis and a voice they hoped that would not come any closer.

"Guys?" Dipper said in a hushed tone, hoping that same annoying voice wouldn't hear him. "Let's try not to get you know who involved."

The group had one consensus at least; not to let that certain someone involved in their business.

"Well then, if you can excuse us. We have uh, royal business to attend to." Star stood up, grabbing Marco's hand, winking at Marco in the least subtle way possible. "Am I doing it right?"

Marco sighed happily and gave a kiss to his girlfriend's cheek. "You're so cute, you know that?"

The couple walked away to the place they shouldn't be going to, much to the dismay of Dipper who stood up from his chair, the others amused by the sight.

"What? Where are you- You better not! We just talked about this!"

Dippers cries for compliance were pointless, for the couple already entered the men's restroom and closed the door behind them, intentionally ignoring the short teen. He sat back down on his seat, crossing his arms in a fit.

"Assholes!" Dipper muttered loudly to himself. "Why do I even bother?"

"Because you're a huge dork." Wendy replied, ruffling up the already messy hair Dipper had.

It didn't take long for the topic to change to something else of interest, but it quickly grew boring after the 'Starco' debacle as Dipper's twin sister Mabel would say. Considering that she was the one that helped set them up, Dipper reminded himself to thank and loath Mabel and himself for helping in the first place.

"So what do we do now?" Penn broke the silence first, a usual thing he would do. "Should we talk more about the sex-ventures of Star and Marco?"

"Let's get some more drinks first." Sashi suggested, who rose her hand before quickly putting it down as if she was about to make a huge mistake. "Ya know what? I'll get the drinks, so you three wait here."

It didn't take long for Wendy to be the first to lean forward and grab everyone's attention, a devious grin plastered across her face when Sashi came back with drinks.

"I have an idea, but we're going to need a lot of drinks."

O-O-O

It took a few extra drinks from behind the bar, some they ordered and others they snuck out with, but after going through enough beer and damaging their sensitive livers the group of friends managed to get wasted awfully quick; excluding Star and Marco who still didn't come out of the restroom.

The booze coursing through the now plastered teens brains was more than enough to forget about their other friends, who were all drunk enough to go along with Wendy's plan. The girl had kept herself sober enough to organize this, and there was nothing that would stop her now. Taking over the music tracks as well, the teens managed to draw in a crowd of other teens going out for the night, they claimed the bar for the night and began the strange ritual of drunken shenanigans.

Thankfully for the teens, the founder of the club was lenient with such events, the money more than enough to turn a blind eye.

"Go dude! You can do it!" Cheered a wasted Penn, holding onto Sashi for balance.

Dipper was standing on top of the counter, raising his arms in the air.

"I LOVE BOOZE!" Shouted a now drunken Dipper, looking down at the lanky, partially topless Wendy lying down on the counter. "CHANT WITH ME!"

The crown of teens chanted Dipper's name, encouraging dares and blasting party music intoxicating the short round to comply with a party trick that would seem senseless to do. He stared down at the red head's navel, a line of whipped cream lined up perfectly across her skin and a lime slice in her mouth. Even Wendy was chanting for the boy to do it, it was her idea after all.

"Come on dude! Be a man!" She muffled out.

"DESTRUCTOR!" Dipper madly shouted before diving in, using his tongue to lick the whipped cream off in one clean stroke.

Wendy couldn't help but shutter out of pleasure, more than satisfied with the results. For his first time at body shots, Dipper was quite experienced with such an action. That always made Wendy like Dipper so much, she would always be surprised by what Dipper could truly hide underneath his nerdy self; this club and booze were pretty much the only things that could let anyone loose.

The next part was easy, taking the shot of booze that was enough for a teen his age could handle, gulping it down in one sitting that only made the crowd cheer louder. But then came the part he dreaded, the lime out of Wendy's mouth. This was his chance finally, the one he had been waiting for to impress Wendy and have that one crazy moment to move things forward with her.

Dipper and Wendy had been going steady for a while, nothing too crazy up until this point. He looked into the red head's eyes, they seemed to be pleading Dipper to just finish the job and prove that he can be more than some awkward nerd. Taking no regrets with him, Dipper lunged his head forward and took the lime in his mouth, using so much force that his lips ended up in contact with Wendy's.

The crowd went silent in oohs and aahs, even Penn and Sashi were taken back by what had happened. Despite the silence of the crowd, it didn't stop Dipper from breaking away and swallowing the lime whole, much to Wendy's surprise.

"Holy. Shit." Wendy said before pulling Dipper into a hug. "YOU ARE THE BEST DORK I'VE EVER KNOWN!"

Before Dipper could blush from his head being in between Wendy's chest, she pulled him away to stare deep into him before making the move to kiss him passionately. It felt lie lighting and thunder had struck the boy when Wendy did that, and he quickly enveloped himself in the kiss and went into a full on make out session with the lumberjack of his dreams. The crowd cheered louder than ever, chanting the nickname destructor and all shared a drink in honor of the two teens making out.

After all the ruckus outside, Star and Marco finally came out of the restroom, the blonde princess helping Marco zip up his hoodie and was greeted by a pleasant sight of body shots and party goers.

"Well look at that." Marco marveled at the scene before him. "Took him long enough to have fun."

Star simply smiled at the sight, her arm around Marco's out of romantic instinct.

"Want to go home now?" She asked cutely to her boyfriend. "I think they have their own mess to clean up soon."

"Yeah, we should go." Marco agreed. "I did promise you our movie night."

"Godzilla?"

Marco nodded in agreement.

"Godzilla."

The teen couple left the bar completely, going up the small furnished staircase up to the second floor and walked to the entrance. They opened the wooden doors, leaving the No Name Club to visit another day in another time, with Star getting out her dimensional scissors to tear open a portal to Marco's house.

No matter where you may be, everyone goes to the No Name Club.

O-O-O

P.S. - So since you can see where this is going, this series of one shots is more than willing to accept suggestions from others from adding characters to chapter ideas. Just PM me for your ideas, and I will see to it that you will get credit and your name mentioned before the next one shot starts.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or the properties of the shows they come from. They belong to their respectful owners.