Author's Note: Don't forget to follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) and also, I forget if I've mentioned that this is part of a series that are in the same "Supergirl" canon divergence universe. You don't have to read them together, but I think that by the end of the series, it'll make more sense reading them together.
1) Pieces
2) The Pipeline
3) Count Me In
4) The Not Too Distant Future
and more to come
Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting!
For some time, it was quiet.
The humming and vibrations had subsided.
River had fallen asleep.
It wasn't until the sound of the grate being pulled off that Alex began to worry. The only way out of where they were was up. That really wasn't a choice. Alex was certain that she could make it out that way, but not Max (his frame was too large) and not River (she was too small). So, she went to her training, Alex pulled out her weapon and was ready to defend her family. They positioned themselves so that River was behind them.
She was aiming down the crawlspace, but it was quiet. It was as if whoever had pulled it off was rethinking what they were doing. Alex didn't waver, though. She stayed ready and in position. She had made a promise to her daughter and she was going to keep it.
Breathe.
Aim.
Stay ready.
Focus.
Concentrate.
She kept pushing herself to remember her training and to remember everything that she needed to do. She could do this. Alex had been trained to defend herself and to fight aliens. That was what she was doing now.
"Alex?"
She hadn't been prepared for that.
A breath escaped her as a small huff. Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head. She couldn't believe her ears and she just wanted to cry right there and then. It wasn't true. It was the White Martian. She couldn't be tricked like that.
"Alex? I know you're in there," the voice said gently. "Come out. Please?"
Kara.
Her little sister.
The one that she had grieved over and had missed so dearly...it was Kara's voice. She looked over to Max as tears slid down her face. What did she do? She knew that she had to be strong, but this? This was unimaginable.
"It's not her," Max reminded in a whisper.
"He's lying, Alex," Kara said forcefully.
She had super hearing.
Well, Kara had super hearing.
"Lord's brainwashing you or something."
Alex didn't know how that was possible, but at the same time...her mind was telling her that that was entirely possible and the more she thought about it...the more sense it made. She looked back at River and her heart broke at the possibilities.
Did that mean she didn't have a daughter?
"You saw the journal… What proof can I give you?" Max asked her.
She did have the journal.
It had been written in her hand.
"Why would I brainwash you?"
Alex could think up a handful of reasons, but as she stared at him, she knew that it was none of those. She could read this Max (or so she felt) and she could just see the love in her and concerned about her (about them). But it sounded like Kara… Her mind spun and she knew that if it was the White Martian, then they were trapped. They couldn't just stay there and wait to be slaughtered.
How could they do this?
What was the plan?
She couldn't think.
"Alex?" Kara called. "Alex, please just come out…"
"We don't really have a choice, do we?" Max asked her.
Alex looked back towards River, she was worried. Her daughter had already been through enough. She'd already seen enough blood and enough death. "River…"
"I'll get her," Max assured.
They crawled out of their hiding space and Alex found not only Kara standing there, but J'onn. Kara was dressed as Supergirl and J'onn was dressed in all black as Hank Henshaw. It wasn't them, she reminded herself as she looked at them. She pulled her weapon from where she'd stowed it in the back band of her pants. Her aim was on them, determined to make it safe for Max and River. She wasn't sure how they were going to get out of there, but they were. Her pack was pushed to the edge and she grabbed it and put it on, keeping the gun aimed at them.
"Alex, what are you doing?" J'onn asked.
They looked confused and hurt. Alex wondered if there was any way that they could have their memories. Was that how they knew that those people could be used against her? She wasn't going to let that happen, though. "Stop. Talking."
"Alex," Kara said as she took a step towards her.
"I will shoot you!" Alex threatened.
It wasn't her sister.
Kara looked confused. "Alex, what's wrong?"
"I'm not going to let you kill us like you killed the others!"
"What others?"
"There is no one else in this facility," J'onn added.
Alex knew that this was just a trick. It was all just a trick. She couldn't listen to them. Everything needed to be blocked except for her mission. Her mission right now was to get her family out of there, she'd push past that when they got to that point. Max came out of the crawlspace with River, shouldering his pack as well.
"Lord! What the hell did you do to her?!" J'onn questioned and took a step closer.
Alex focused on him. "Not a step closer!"
"I didn't do anything! You're the one who's done things! You've killed the entire colony and now this?! Playing mind games with my wife!" Max shouted at them.
She didn't miss how they both seemed to take that in.
"Wife?" Kara questioned and cringed. "Is this some kind of twisted fantasy, Max?!"
"It's not a fantasy...it's reality-stop!" Max said. "Stop confusing her! Just let us go! You don't have to kill us like you killed the colony!"
"Daddy, who are these people? Why do they look like people from Mommy's pictures?" River asked.
Alex looked back over her shoulder to look at River, it was the wrong move. In that split second, she was grabbed by the White Martian in Kara's shape and yanked to the other side of the room. "No!" Alex shouted and fought against her hold.
At the same time, the J'onn shaped White Martian had grabbed Max and shoved him up against a wall. "What did you do to her?!"
River was left between them screaming.
"Please," Alex pleaded, tears filling her eyes. She was keeping her eyes on River, making sure the other White Martian didn't touch her daughter. "Please!" she cried. "Don't hurt my daughter! Please, I beg you...do whatever you want to me, but don't touch her!" She was released and the Kara shaped alien took a step back, her face coloring in confusion and it seemed like sadness.
"Alex, we're not going to hurt you," Kara whispered. "I don't know what you think is going on, but I'm your sister."
"My sister is dead!"
Kara seemed confused. "Alex, it's me. It's really me. You've been missing for weeks now… We got a lead on a White Martian and it led us in this direction and then...then J'onn sensed you," Kara said the last part in a whisper. "Don't you remember?"
"Please! Don't kill us!" River kept going on, sobbing and crumpled to the floor.
"Tell us what you DID!" J'onn said as he slammed Max against the wall.
"I didn't! She's my wife! I wouldn't hurt her!" Max shouted.
The J'onn alien flipped her and slammed Max's face against the wall. "Tell us!"
"I-"
"What is this?"
Kara turned away from her and Alex took that as he opening. She ran past her and scooped up River, hold her close and then moving until her back hit a wall so she could keep everyone in eyesight. "It's okay, Baby… It's okay," Alex whispered to River as she ran her hand through her daughter's hair. "I'm going to keep you safe. I promise."
"Mommy, I'm scared," River whispered.
"What are you doing?" Max asked.
Alex's eyes were on her husband and the alien pinning him. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she was going to figure it out. They were going to leave there, all three of them, together. "Don't touch him!" Alex shouted at them.
"There's a device," J'onn spoke up. "What does this device do? Let you control Alex?"
"There's no device! She's not being controlled by me!" Max argued.
Alex realized then, she still had her weapon. She'd been moved, but she still had the weapon. The J'onn alien was getting increasingly irritated with Max and she held it tighter in her hand. "Leave him alone!" she shouted and let off a shot. She hit him and her heart broke a little because even though she knew that they were White Martians, it still looked like her friend.
"Alex!" the alien growled at her as he took a step back.
Max let out a scream and she lunged forward to grab him. "Max? Max? Are you okay? Talk to me!" Alex rattled off as she touched his face.
"I'm...I'm," Max stumbled. He kept squinting and looking around confused. "What the hell is this?"
"Max-"
He stared at her and looked even more confused. "Alex," he whispered. "It's not what it seems…"
"What are you talking about?" she asked and then glared past her husband to the alien behind him. "What did you do?!"
"Alex!" Max said as he grabbed her and shook her for a moment. "They didn't hurt me… I can just see...clearly." He ran his hands through her hair and Alex just stared at him in confusion. A moment later, he was pulling on something and she let out a cry, her hand going up to her head.
"What are you doing?" River asked from behind them.
In that time, Alex found herself disarmed. Her other hand came up and she just held her head. When she reopened her eyes, she found that their surroundings weren't how she'd remembered. "What?"
"I don't know," Max told her.
"Mommy, please...I'm so scared," River said as she yanked on her jacket.
Alex held River close at her side, an arm wrapped protectively around her.
Kara spoke up, "I am Kara, Alex-"
"No! Aunt Kara is dead!" River shouted. "They're those scary monsters that can look like us!"
"White Martians," Alex whispered as she looked at them. She didn't know what they were doing. She found Max taking her free hand she was having a hard time seeing how they were going to get out of there. How she would keep her promise to River.
"We are not White Martians," Kara said as she took a step towards them. "I'm your sister. I'm not dead-"
"Kara," J'onn said and tapped his pocket.
Alex just kept looking between the two of them. She didn't know what was coming, but something was coming and she needed to be prepared for it. That much she did know. What happened next, made her panic but fill with such joy. The superhero dressed alien yanked a chain out from under her outfit and revealed the pendant that Alex had been looking for. She took a step forward and saw that it had the 'K' on it and not the 'A'. They were good. They really are and it was killing her inside. "No," Alex whispered. "That was my sister's…" Tears filled her eyes and all she could think was that she would have liked that her sister rested in peace with her locket.
"I am your sister and I know how to prove it," Kara told her and held out a hand to the other alien. What Alex had been looking for landed in Kara's hand, her locket. "When I gave this to you...it was because you were feeling like you were left out-"
"You're not my sister," Alex said forcefully as some tears fell. She remembered when Kara had given it to her and why. It had been after Kara had pulled her out of a coma after Alex had been in a car accident. "My sister-"
"You and I are the only ones who can open these," Kara said as she closed her palms around the lockets in separate hands at the same time. "It's bound by DNA. White Martians can shape shift, but they don't take on DNA." Alex didn't miss the soft click sound before Kara opened her hands to reveal that both were opened and there was a faint glow coming off of them both. "That's why I can open them...because I'm your sister, Alex...and I'm very much alive." Kara held out the locket to Alex.
Her hand shook as she pulled her arm away from Max and reached out for it. "Kara?" she whispered as her fingers touched the cool metal of the teardrop shaped pendant. Alex held onto it, running her fingers over it as she stared at the House of El symbol and the photo of them inside. "El-may-arah."
"Stronger together."
Alex stared up at Kara and didn't care about how ridiculous she had to look with tears falling down her face. Her sister was alive. Kara was alive. Her arm moved from River and she flung herself into a life crushing (for a human) hug. "Oh, Kara," she whispered through tears. "You're supposed to be dead...how are you not dead? I don't really care...I'm just glad that you're here. That you're okay," Alex rambled before pulling back and looking Kara over. "You are okay, right? Myriad hasn't done anything to you?"
"Myriad?" Kara questioned, confusion all over her face.
"Non-"
"Mommy! Please!" River cried out. "Please don't be near the bad people!"
Alex looked back over at River. "Sweetheart, it's okay," she said and pulled away from Kara, her locket still firmly gripped in hand. She looked to Max. "They're not dead…"
"You're sure?" Max asked.
She nodded and then it hit her. "Oh my God," she whispered. Alex spun around to look at J'onn and she hurried towards him. She'd shot him in the arm. "J'onn, I'm-"
"It'll heal," J'onn assured and pulled her into a hug. "I'm just glad we found you."
She held onto the fabric of his vest, holding him tight. Maybe she hadn't realized before how much she needed him in her life. J'onn had stepped up and had been the closest to a dad she'd had after her father had been killed all those years ago. "Where have you been all these years?" she whispered.
J'onn pulled back and stared down at her. "Alex, it's been just four weeks. We've been looking all over for you."
"No," Alex said. She was so confused. It didn't make sense. It wasn't four weeks. Flashes were hitting her hard and Alex was feeling sick. "It's been six years-"
"Six years?!" Kara exclaimed.
"This doesn't make sense," Alex whispered as she stepped back to where Max and River were. River grabbed her almost immediately. "It's been six years," Alex repeated.
"Lord, what-"
"I didn't do anything!" Max said quickly. "Are you time travelers or something? It's twenty-twenty-four."
"It's two thousand sixteen," J'onn ground out.
"No, see...you guys have to like have come through a time-"
"We're in one of Henshaw's old buildings, Alex," J'onn said as he stared right at her. "He used to use this for things he didn't want the rest of the DEO and government to know about. I closed it down twelve years ago." He was quiet for a moment. "Look around, does this look like the DEO?"
"I-" Alex couldn't push out her sentence. She'd noticed that there were hallways that didn't turn in the correct direction and rooms where they weren't and things just weren't right...but she'd been so confused-
"What are you saying?" Max questioned.
"Only a few weeks have passed, not six years," J'onn told him. "I don't know what you think happened-"
"The world ended," Alex said. She was thinking of everything that she'd been told and everything she'd read. "Both of you died...in front of me-"
"You remember that?"
"No…"
"Alex, let us take you home," J'onn said gently.
"The scrubber," Alex said.
"What's a scrubber?" Kara questioned.
Max was speaking before she could. "It helps us survive the toxins that have been left over in the atmosphere after Non unleashed Myriad...after they destroyed the world."
"You can go outside, Alex...all of you can go outside...it's not going to kill you. There are no toxins. We don't even know what Myriad is yet…"
"I can show you," Alex insisted. "It's in our blood stream. In all of ours." She started down the hallway, she was determined. As she walked, though, Alex noticed that things weren't the same. They weren't as she remembered them. The area that was supposed to hold the garden, there was just soil spread around the floor. Nothing that she remembered seemed real. When she made it to the lab, she found furniture and she found a microscope, but that was it. There was nothing else.
"Alex, there's nothing left," Max whispered.
She looked back at him. "Where did it go?"
"I don't think it was ever here to begin with," Kara said.
"I'm not hallucinating," Alex insisted as she ran her fingers through her hair. She had to prove it to them. She had to show them what she'd seen. She moved forward and grabbed her pack from Max, he'd apparently carried it with him. Setting it on the counter, she started to rummage through it.
"Daddy...Mommy…" River whispered in such a small voice. "I feel sick…"
They both turned to River, Max was the first one to pick her up. She looked pale. "How many doors did you open?" Max asked as he looked back at Kara and J'onn. "Are they still open?!"
"There's nothing wrong with the world outside," Kara insisted.
Alex ignored them and ran her fingers through River's blonde hair after Max set her up on the counter. They were both looking her over. "She shouldn't need another scrubber so soon."
Max grabbed his bag and his gasp caught Alex's attention. "There's no scrubber...it's gone."
"It's not real!" Kara shouted at them.
"You don't understand," Alex insisted and looked around, she finally grabbed the knife from her bag and used it on herself. Everyone was shouting at her to stop as she cut her forearm. "We're all infected." She shut them out as she moved to the microscope and wiped a bit of her own blood directly on the blank slide that was already in place.
"That was stupid," Max told her and was immediately wrapping her arm. She didn't know what with and she didn't care. She just had to show them and they had to figure out how to get River help.
Alex lit up the sample and peered into the eyepiece. "No," she whispered. "There's something wrong with this microscope-"
"Sweetheart, there's not a lot that can go wrong with these things," Max said and nudged her aside and took his turn at the microscope eyepiece. "That's not right…"
"I told you," Alex said upset.
"Whatever was at the base of your skull must have had you seeing things, something programmed," J'onn said slowly.
"I still don't feel good," River whined weakly.
"If it's not there, then why is River sick?" Alex asked, mostly to Max.
"Maybe she has one of those things on her," Max suggested. He was moving his hands through her hair and found it. "It's going to sting," he warned before he removed it. River let out a scream, but Max comforted her until she calmed down. "Do you feel better?"
"I want us to go home," River requested.
Alex just stared at River for a long moment before looking at Max. "Nothing makes sense."
River got herself down and clung to Max's leg. "We were going to go away…"
"We're going to all go back to the DEO," J'onn said. "We'll run full medical tests and figure out things there."
Kara moved to Alex's side, holding the cloth over her wound as Max had before he'd moved to River's side. "She's not yours, Alex, you know that right?" Kara whispered.
Alex thought about that. It crushed her. She'd thought about it before, but now it was even harder because Kara and J'onn were making it all true. Had they all been brainwashed? Was that what had happened? She didn't know. All she knew was that she didn't feel prepared for what was going on.
"She is my mommy!" River shouted. "Why are you ruining everything?!" Within a blink, her daughter was running out of what Alex remembered to be the lab.
J'onn was out the door before she was.
"River!" Alex called.
They were all chasing after River. Turning hallways and Alex kept thinking of how it had been before. The bedrooms. The kitchen. The dining hall. The common areas. The garden. The school. Storage. None of that was there. It hadn't been real. This wasn't the DEO.
A door slammed shut, separating Alex from J'onn and River. She slammed on it and tried to break it open. It wasn't budging. She could hear a clatter inside. "River!" she screamed and she realized Max was right there with her.
"Step back," Kara said and pulled off the door a moment later.
Inside, they found J'onn in all of his full Green Martian glory fighting a White Martian. Alex just looked for River. "Alex, get back," Max said as he yanked her back just in time to avoid being thrown against the hall wall with the White Martian.
J'onn came charging out, his hand on the White Martian's throat. "It's not what it seems," J'onn practically growled as he looked towards them. "I'm sorry, Alex."
She didn't understand.
Before their eyes, the White Martian transformed. It wasn't a form that Alex expected to see. The White Martian turned into her daughter, into River. Her hand struggling, as if she were trying to read her. "River," she whispered. "Don't hurt her...please," Alex begged, but this time it was different than before.
It had hit her all of the sudden.
In flashes.
She realized that every time that the White Martian had been in the colony, River hadn't been with them. They'd always found River when the White Martian had disappeared. River had never been a victim of injury. The mood flashes with River. All of the black outs and the moments that just didn't make sense.
It wasn't just that, she realized.
The nightmares...the dreams...she realized had all been memories that had been trying to force themselves to the surface. Alex didn't remember being taken, but she remembered being in that dark cell and being thankful that she hadn't been alone...that Max had been there as well. This was all a plan. Why, Alex didn't know, but it was scaring her the more she thought about it. The journal, it had to have been her writing the whole thing but under some kind of hypnosis or with the use of the mind control. Whatever it was, Alex didn't know what to believe...it was going to be hard figuring out where to pick up her life.
There was a roar, which snapped her back to reality.
It changed back into the form of a White Martian and pushed J'onn back, it came at her and Kara, slashing at them. Alex fell back and cried out in pain, her thigh had been slashed and she could see that Kara had been cut as well but on her upper arm. Max was moving towards her and then helped her up.
J'onn ran back towards the White Martian, pinning it against the wall once more. Like before, it morphed back into the form of River Danvers. Alex knew that this was what had to be done. It was a White Martian, it wasn't a human child. It wasn't even a child like Kara had been...it was an alien that had manipulated them and had attacked them.
"It's damaged," J'onn said.
"Please," she whispered. Alex understood that River wasn't River...that beautiful blonde haired blue eyed little girl who had reminded her so much of Kara, she wasn't her daughter...or even a little girl...she...it...whatever it was...was a White Martian. It broke Alex's heart in so many different ways. No matter, all she could see was her little girl. The little girl that she'd failed for all these weeks...the little girl that she'd promised to keep safe.
Instead of killing the White Martian, J'onn just waited until it passed out. It was so hard for Alex to watch, but she couldn't look away. When the tiny body fell to the floor into a crumpled pile, Alex stifled a sob and looked away. She took a couple of steps and told herself to breathe.
"Alex," Kara whispered and her hand fell to her shoulder.
Alex covered Kara's hand with her own, but didn't turn. She pulled her hand away and took the moment to put her locket on. She didn't want to risk losing it and she wanted it there to remind her exactly where she was. She was so confused and so...she wasn't even sure what she was. It was too much.
"Four weeks?" Alex asked quietly.
Kara didn't answer right away. "Yeah, four weeks."
"I don't understand…"
"We'll figure it out," Kara assured. "Together."
"Can I sit here?"
"Sure," she whispered, not looking at him.
"I know it's stupid of me to ask, but how are you doing?"
Alex looked at him and though she was upset, she spoke gently. "It's okay, Max. We're not married. The world hasn't ended. You don't have to worry about me. I'm not your problem-"
"Stop."
And she did.
Alex didn't know why, but she did. Maybe it was because he'd said it so quietly or maybe it was how he was looking at her. His hand came up and cupped her cheek. "I just want to see if you're okay."
"No." Alex waited a beat. "Are you?"
"No."
"We lost a month."
"I don't know that I'd actually consider it a loss," Max told her with a small smile.
She blushed for a moment when she realized what he meant and then looked away. It was so weird to have been in that virtual reality of life and then to be back at the DEO, where she belonged. J'onn, Kara, and her mother were all alive. She had a job, a job that she loved and was good at. They gave her a purpose. When she looked back at Max, though, she realized that there were parts of her that didn't want to give up that life...the life that had been made up.
"Why do you think it chose us?" Alex asked.
He shrugged. "I asked your friend that question. He said that it's got some kind of sickness, like it's mutated or something. I was only half understanding...I think because of the shock of everything...and all I can think is that it wanted a home...it wanted a family."
"It wanted to be loved."
But why pick them? They weren't even together at the time and she and Max weren't really on the best of terms. Alex saw that aliens could be good and that they could live with humans while Max saw it as a black and white war. Why pick them? She knew that she couldn't dwell on it because the fact was, they might never get answers.
"Yeah," he said gently. "I don't think it was counting on how much you would grieve the loss of people that you cared about. That you would fight giving up your past."
"They're my family," Alex said. "And Kara-"
"She's a good person."
Alex looked at him with a bit of surprise. "She is," she responded after a moment. "She really is."
"I don't want you to worry," Max said as he reached out and placed a hand over hers. "We're going to figure out a cover story. Maybe Supergirl can even be the hero of it. There won't be anything about the DEO or J'onn J'onzz or anything negative about your family…"
It was unexpected, but she appreciated it. Alex blinked for a moment. "Thank you."
"Is it okay if I just sit here with you for awhile?" Max asked gently. "At least until your sister or J'onn drags me away?" There was a quick pause before he asked another question. "J'onn J'onzz, he does know that he's your boss, right? There was a lot of judgemental glaring directed my way whenever I touched you on the way in."
Alex smirked. "You might not want to point that out to him." She was quiet and looked down for a moment at their hands before looking up at him again. "He made a promise to my dad when he was dying that he'd protect us…"
"So, half your family is made up of aliens?"
"Pretty much."
"Me hating aliens, especially family related ones, that's a deal breaker isn't it?"
Alex eyed him for a long moment. "Max," she whispered gently. "You and I-"
"Can we not finish that sentence today? I'm still wheeling from the fact that our daughter...isn't our daughter...and in fact, a White Martian that has been brainwashing us for the last four weeks," Max said in a defeated whisper. "I just...you and I...we were good, weren't we?"
"Besides when I sounded like a crazy person?"
"I never said you were a crazy person."
"Thought it?"
Max tilted his head to the side with a smile. "You were a breathtakingly gorgeous crazy person."
"You're really still flirting?"
"I can't stop."
Alex had to look away from him, he was cheering her up. She turned her hand, so that it was palm up, and took ahold of his hand and just held it. The two of them just sitting there in silence together. Right now, it was enough.
"How's your leg?"
"How's your arm?"
Kara just smirked at that response. "It actually hurts, if that makes you feel any better…"
Alex looked at her sister, worried. "No, actually...that just worries me. You should be healing. Why-"
"J'onn has the doctors looking into it, I'm sure it's nothing," Kara brushed off.
It wasn't so easily brushed off in Alex's mind. Maybe it was just because she wanted something else to concentrate on. She kept dwelling on everything that had happened and she just didn't want to. It was something she thought that she might actually want to forget...her heart just hurt and was so heavy.
"Do you want to talk?" Kara asked quietly.
Alex knew that everyone wanted to be there, even Max, but it was too hard. She still couldn't quite come to grips with it all. She'd woken up in the 'colony' and thought that she'd lost eight years of memories, once she'd accepted it...it seemed like that life had been ripped from her and she'd been told that everything she'd finally accepted was a lie.
Everything.
Feelings too.
"Whenever I looked at her, I would see you," Alex whispered as she looked away from Kara. Her sister was going to worry until she talked to her, even if it was something small. "Even though I never got to see you when you were that small, there were so many things that reminded me of you...and her name was River Kara Danvers...because I couldn't live in a world where Kara Danvers didn't exist…"
"River Danvers sounds so much better than River Lord," Kara pointed out.
Alex allowed herself a small smile at that. "That apparently was the idea."
"I looked over that journal you showed me," Kara said gently. "I see how you were convinced...and I don't know how I can ever quite understand what that was like for you, Alex." She was quiet for a moment. "All I can tell you for sure is that I don't want to lose you...I thought you were lost to me for four weeks...and the world needs Alex Danvers just as much as it needs Supergirl."
That wasn't true.
Alex looked over at her. "I'm not a hero."
"But you are...and you're my sister...my family...and I will always need you."
Alex allowed her head to drop to Kara's shoulder as they sat there together. "I was thinking about going to see Mom."
"She'll come here, if you'd rather-"
"No," Alex whispered. "I want to go home...see the house...be in Midvale."
"I could arrange time off-"
"We both know that Cat Grant is more likely to fire you than give you time off to go home with me," Alex said gently and put her arm around her sister and squeezed her. "It's okay. You can always visit after work."
"I know, I just wish that I could be there for you…"
"You are," Alex assured. She reached up and held onto her locket. "You're always in my heart, Kara. Nothing can ever take that away from me."
"Are you going to be okay?"
It was a valid question.
It was also the question that everyone wanted to know. The truth was, she didn't know. She sighed, "Right now, I'm just concentrating on getting out of here. I've been around similar walls for so many weeks. I think I just want to go and sleep in my own bed tonight."
"You know, I could fly you to Midvale."
Alex smiled at that. "Or you could drive with me and fly home."
"That too."
"It's been a long time since we flew."
"Well, we've been following the rules," Kara pointed out.
"Sometimes it's not so horrible if we break them."
Kara gave a little laugh.
"What?"
"I'm pretty sure J'onn has a list of all of the times you've broken rules since I've come out as Supergirl," Kara teased. "I think it's in double digits."
"I suppose it's a good thing he likes me."
"I'm pretty sure you're his favorite."
Alex squeezed Kara. "He doesn't have favorites."
"Oh I do."
They both looked towards the door and Alex smiled. "You do not," she argued gently.
"I have favorites," J'onn insisted as he moved towards them. "Kara is my favorite Kryptonian and Alex is my favorite human."
"Well played."
He just smiled. "You are both my daughters and both my favorite."
Alex knew this and she was glad that during the time she'd been missing that Kara had had J'onn. There was some comfort in knowing that Kara wasn't alone, that she had family. J'onn probably more than anyone understood her best. They were both aliens and had both lost their worlds and were just trying to fit in.
"You wouldn't happen to be here to tell us we could go, would you?" Alex asked hopefully. Even though the DEO normally felt like a second home to her, she felt like she needed to get out...that she needed fresh air and something that wasn't as familiar (at least over the last couple of years).
"I'm afraid not, they're still running scans on both of you, they're concerned about the injuries you both sustained, especially since Kara's is not healing," J'onn said matter of factly.
Alex smacked Kara's arm. "See, I told you it was something to be concerned about."
Kara just rolled her eyes in response. "It's fine. We'll be fine."
She just wished that she wasn't so helpless at the moment. She wanted to be able to get up and walk around, but she'd been asked to stay put. "What about Max?" Alex asked J'onn. She knew that neither one of them liked him, but he was as much a victim in all of this as she was.
"I just had him escorted back to his penthouse," J'onn said. "Though, he really didn't want to leave."
"He's having a hard time."
"So are you."
Alex nodded in response before sucking in a breath. "I want to take time off."
J'onn didn't say anything at first. He seemed a little shocked, but then as if he were thinking it over. "We're here for you. Anything you need."
"As soon as I'm cleared, I just want to go home...to Midvale. Just for a few days," Alex said. She hoped that he and Kara understood. She just needed to be away from the DEO and National City. She needed time to think. She needed time to figure out her feelings.
"Anything you need, Alex."
"Thanks."
J'onn stood there for a moment with his hands on his hips, both girls just staring at him. "Okay, I'll go loom over the doctors for results," he said before heading out.
Kara burst out into laughter once he was out of the room and put her arm around her sister, but this time it was her head on Alex's shoulder. "You're still his favorite."
Alex just shook her head. "Don't be jealous," she teased nowhere near seriously.
"Alex? Kara?"
J'onn was waking them, they had fallen asleep in the chairs apparently. Kara's head was in her lap when Alex opened her eyes. She sighed and looked up at him. "We can go?"
"No," he said gently and crouched down in front of them.
Kara blinked and then sat up straight.
Alex was immediately waiting for whatever he was going to say. It sounded bad. Or at least it wasn't good news. It wasn't that she was going to be in Midvale for dinner. "What is it?"
"The cuts that you both sustained are infected, the doctors don't know if it's just a virus or if it's more like a poison."
"Because it's alien?" Alex questioned. She rubbed her face. "Maybe I could look at it."
"They think they might have come up with a treatment," J'onn said quickly.
"Then...what's the problem?" Kara asked. "Because you have the 'problem' face going on."
He was quiet for a moment. "They don't know if it'll work...and if it does work, they don't know if you could endure it, Alex," he said gently.
Silence.
It was then that she realized that her thigh, where she'd been sliced, it hurt. Was it because of what J'onn had just said? In her head? Or was it justified? But then she saw Kara's arm. Her suit was still sliced, but her wound had been cleaned and covered. "Kara," she whispered and reached out to pull the fabric back. Small bright red blisters that almost looked like crystals were spreading around the bandaged area. Was that what she had too? Was that why her thigh hurt?
"What's the treatment?"
"A specialized radiation," J'onn explained. "Apparently painful."
Alex dropped her head into her hands. Of course. They couldn't have anything easy. At this point, she didn't care. Maybe it was because she was exhausted or maybe it was the confusion that still plagued her. Whatever it was, Alex really didn't even care right now.
"I'll do it."
"Kara, no," Alex said quickly as she looked back to her sister. "It might not work, it could hurt you and-"
"And right now, it's all we have...and I can feel it, Alex. If I can feel it, I can't imagine the pain you're in," Kara said gently. "I'm not healing, you said that was a problem and something to be worried about. If it works for me, maybe they can figure out a way to help you that wouldn't be so dangerous…"
"What if we don't do the treatment?"
"Alex!"
"I want to know," Alex told her sister gently as she took Kara's hand in her own. Her eyes turned to J'onn's.
J'onn was quiet and it was clear that this was causing him pain. "I don't know," he said sincerely and sadly.
The unknown.
None of them liked it.
"It's spreading," Alex stated. Her mind going into scientist mode. "There's pain-"
"Alex," Kara whispered. "Just let me do it…"
"I don't even think that the White Martian realizes that they're spreading this illness," J'onn added.
"You have to stay here, Alex."
That broke her heart. Her heart was already so broken as it was, this was just almost too much. Kara turned to her and they hugged hard for a long moment. "Don't worry," Kara whispered into her ear. "We're going to be okay. You'll be with me and I'll be with you, Alex. We are never alone."
Alex knew that was true, but she felt like everything had just been taken away from her...and then some of it given back...and she just wanted to sit in the corner and cry until it all made sense. She wasn't one who got very emotional in life, there were few things...few people who had that effect on her...Kara and J'onn were two of those people. She couldn't imagine her life without them. "Okay," she finally whispered as she cupped Kara's face and looked at her for a long moment. Lifting herself up on her toes, she pressed a kiss to Kara's forehead. "Come back to me."
"I will."
They were gone and the door was shut, keeping Alex in. It wasn't locked, but she didn't know if they feared that whatever they had been exposed to could be contagious. So far, she hadn't seen any contamination procedures being followed. Maybe they'd declared it as only passed by blood stream or-
"Alex?"
Blinking, Alex turned back to the door. Looking through the glass door, she found Max standing there looking back at her. Hadn't J'onn said he'd gone home? "Max? What are you doing here?" she asked in quiet confusion.
He replied in equal confusion, but was gentle in his words. "You didn't text me or call me-"
"What?"
"I wanted to make sure you were okay."
When he went to open the door, she grabbed the door handle and held it. "No, wait."
Max blinked at her, confused. "Alex-"
"Kara and I were exposed to something...I don't know if it's contagious...but I would rather not risk it," she told him gently. "They just took Kara to try a treatment."
"What kind of contagion?" he questioned.
Alex knew well enough that he wanted details and he would start going over everything in his head. "Max-"
"Tell me, Alex."
"I don't know," she admitted. "It spreads...looks like red crystals...they took Kara for some kind of radiation treatment." Her eyes were on Max and she wished that they could be sitting together in that moment. Whatever had happened over the last four weeks, her missing Max had come with it. He had been such a comfort to her. Alex's sob caught in her throat and she fought tears. There had been enough crying and enough tears. "They don't know if it'll work for me." That wasn't entirely true, but Alex didn't really want to think of all the details.
Her hand pressed against the glass and she smiled when his hand pressed against hers from the other side. "You're not telling me something," Max whispered.
"Can you just stay with me?" she asked. "Just sit outside the door while we wait for them to come back?"
"Alex-"
"Please?"
"As long as you keep talking to me," Max said and immediately sat with his back to the door.
Alex did the same and sat there in silence for a breath. "What are we talking about?" she asked as she stared up at the ceiling. She was trying not to think about Kara and how dangerous the radiation treatment sounded. Kara might be Kryptonian, but that didn't mean that she was indestructible.
"What are you thinking about right now? Kara?"
Smiling at that, she nodded and then realized she was facing away. "Yes. It's so weird… I'm still grasping to the fact that she's alive, that it was all a lie."
"Not all of it."
"What?"
"You were going to make me a believer of Kara Danvers...of Supergirl," Max prompted.
She was certain that that's not what he'd actually said. Alex let it go. There was so much else going on in her head that she didn't even add something else to it. "Kara's possibly the most pure heart on this world."
"Those are words you don't often hear...unless it's some kind of King Arthur movie."
Alex smiled at that, he sounded more like the Max she was used to. "I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find someone as trusting and as kind," Alex assured. "She came to Earth was a mission...and when that mission wasn't necessary anymore...all she wanted to do was make a difference...and all we told her to do was to hide...to fit in."
"She was a little girl."
"That didn't matter," Alex said. "When we were kids, there was a car crash near where we were on the beach. Kara's first reaction was to run towards it. Fire and all. She went in and saved the woman and her baby. She didn't even blink or consider herself getting hurt or being exposed to the world."
"There are others out there…"
"And they all hate her," Alex explained gently. "Kara's mother was who sentenced them all to Fort Rozz. So, since she's not here-"
"They hate your sister in her place."
Maybe Max was getting it.
"They aren't all bad either, some have reformed...they were put away for smaller infractions," Alex told him. "Like any prison." They'd run into a Fort Rozz criminal who was teaching at university and was completely harmless. He had dedicated his new life to teaching and he was making a difference.
"But you just let them...go?"
"We keep tabs."
"Don't you think the public should know?"
"Like a registry?"
"Something like that."
Alex sighed and shook her head. "I'm not saying that there shouldn't be certain public registries for people like sex offenders or violent offenders, but they're just from another planet." She paused for a moment. "We already have enough labels in this world. Black. White. Asian. Indian. Native. Female. Male. Straight. Gay. Transexual. Asexual. Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed. Disabled. I could go on...but I think you get it. Do you really think that we need to put another label like that out into the world? Can't we just all be people and work towards peace?"
"While you wage war behind the scenes?"
"I wouldn't call it waging war, we're just tracking down hostiles."
"I get what you're saying, Alex, I do, but the world is far more complicated than I think any of us would like."
"Does this mean I haven't convinced you?"
"Oh, you still have plenty of time to do it...you're not getting rid of me that easily-"
"I thought you left?" Kara's voice questioned.
Alex was immediately on her feet. Her palms against the glass of the door as she looked over her sister from that side of the glass. "How are you? Are you okay?"
"Hardly even felt it," Kara told her. "All better...and healing kicked in, so you know I'm fine."
Max was on his feet. "I want to look it over before you try it on Alex," he insisted. "Maybe I can adjust something or-"
"I would appreciate any help you could provide," J'onn said without even arguing.
It was terrifying.
Being strapped down.
Being covered so that the only exposed part of her body was the infected area. Alex felt the weight of it all was going to suffocate her. Max and J'onn had both insisted that she have something to help with the pain because if Kara could even slightly feel it, they felt like it was going to be too much for her. All Alex was concerned about in that moment was making it out of that chamber alive so that she could hug her sister and then go home and hug her mother.
At first, it just burned a little. It wasn't anything that Alex couldn't handle. That lasted for a few moments before the pain grew. It morphed into a feeling of sharp stabbing pain. Alex had a fairly high threshold for pain, but as the pain continued and there was a heat to it, she couldn't remain quiet. She cried out, not caring who heard. It hadn't taken long for Kara, but she was Kryptonian, her natural healing would have kicked in at some point. Max was in there and he was overseeing things and making sure that they were approaching things in a way that would hopefully kill the infection and not kill her.
It was excruciating and all she could hear were her own screams echoing.
Eventually it was too much. Unendurable. She blacked out and she happily accepted it.
"You can't be serious."
"Have you even watched the show?"
"It's pretty much the only show I've watched in the last couple of years."
"You don't live under a rock."
"I'm a dedicated man."
"I save the city and work for Cat Grant...and even I have time to juggle my DVR and Netflix queues."
"Quieter," Alex whispered. Slowly, she opened her eyes, remembering why she was listening to Kara and Max argue. It was a reality she needed to come to terms with. It seemed so silly for that to be odd, but she'd just accepted the 'future' reality a week and a half before. She was at the DEO, she reminded herself. Alex could recall everything that had happened, she knew why she was there. She just didn't know why she had Kara and Max arguing at her bedside.
"Alex!" Kara exclaimed and turned in her chair, grabbing her hand in hers. "You're awake."
"I wasn't going to leave you," Alex whispered as she squeezed her sister's hand as she stared up at her. "I didn't die...so that's a good thing, right?"
"You're going to exhausted and the affected skin is going to be blistered before new skin replaces it, but I wasn't losing you," Max informed her. "You're going to be fine though."
"Max adjusted it...I know it was still painful-"
"I blacked out, so it was fine," she brushed off.
"You have a scarily high pain tolerance level," Max commented.
"She's a badass DEO agent," Kara told him.
Alex just smiled at them. She was just happy that the two of them weren't going at it, at least not in a nasty sort of way. "Does this mean we can all be friends?"
"Are you running a fever?" her sister teased as she used the back of her hand to feel Alex's forehead and then cheeks.
Max just laughed and stepped back. "We'll get there...eventually."
"How long do I have to stay here?" Alex asked Kara.
Kara was making a face, one that told Alex that her sister wasn't happy about something. "The doctors said that they'd like you to stay overnight, but J'onn said that if you wanted...that you could go to Midvale...after all, Eliza will be there to take care of you."
Normally, Alex would stick with the DEO doctors and stay overnight instead of having to deal with her mother fussing over her, but not after everything that had happened. She was beyond done with the world and her life there at the DEO and National City, she just needed space. Alex needed her mom. "Midvale," Alex told Kara. "I don't have a bag, though."
"I can go pack you something if you tell me how long you're going to be gone," Kara offered.
"I don't know."
Her sister didn't respond right away. "Okay. I'll pack for a week," Kara said firmly. "And then if you need anything else, I can bring it out to you."
Alex could tell that it was killing Kara that she'd gotten her back and now she was going. She wouldn't be far, especially for Kara. It just wasn't going to be the same. It wasn't going to be hugs and couches and arguing over what to watch and eating whatever Kara was craving. It wasn't going to be switching ice cream pints. "I won't be far…"
"I know," Kara said quietly.
"The DEO can survive a week without you, too," Alex told her. "Just come home after work."
"Isn't she on call?" Max butted in.
Alex glared at him lightly. "She can fly." She just didn't want her sister to think that she was distancing herself from her. That's not what Alex wanted. If Kara could get time off from CatCo, then she'd insist that Kara take at least a week off with her. That just wasn't possible. Alex just needed to get away and home seemed like the best place. It was far enough, but not too far...just in case.
"You going to be okay with him while I get your bag?" Kara asked.
"Yeah," Alex said with a smile.
"Convince him that he's wrong, that the best part of 'Killjoys' is the relationship between Dutch and the boys while I'm gone?"
So, that's what they were talking about. "I'll work on it. He's a bit stubborn, though." Kara was gone and Max took her place at Alex's bedside. Alex wanted to get out of bed, but she really didn't have the strength, especially because she felt like it was going to involve arguing with Max over whether or not she should be doing it. "Have you even watched the entire season?"
"What?"
"'Killoys'," Alex prompted.
"Oh," Max said and leaned forward, running his fingers along the top of her hand. "Only the first two episodes and I was really only listening."
Alex rolled her eyes and smiled.
"I was busy...and in my brain, it's even more fuzzy because that was eight years ago."
It still sort of felt like that to her, too.
"Am I really going to be okay?"
"I told you, I wasn't going to lose you, Alex."
He was staring at her with those blue eyes and Alex had to make herself look away. Those four weeks together, being forced to pretend that they were married...that they had been married...it was still affecting them both. Alex didn't know what to think of it. Were they real feelings? Were they developing? Or were they forced? Was it something that would fall away on its own over time?
"Max-"
"I don't want to hear anything about us right now," Max said quickly as he kissed her hand.
He was so gentle and sweet. Alex knew that he deserved time, just like she did. She lay there, both of them in silence for some time. She was waiting until she felt better. J'onn had already come in to tell them that Kara would be delayed because of about six different things that needed to be handled in National City.
She started to push back the sheet covering her, feeling like she could actually move and possibly walk. Alex knew for sure that she really needed a couple of days where she could just rest and sleep as much as her body would allow. Max stopped her and she just stared up into his eyes. "Please, just help me?" she requested. "Right now, I need my husband."
Max seemed to stop and think for just a moment before fussing again, helping her up into a sitting position. "Kara's not back yet-"
"You're going to hand me my clothes, so I can get dressed," Alex told him. "I already saw the extra set from my locker on the other chair." She always kept at least one spare set of black clothes, just in case. "And then you're going to go with me down to The Pipeline."
"I'm starting to worry about your head-"
Alex grabbed his shoulders, steadying herself as much as keeping him still. She wanted him to be looking directly at her when she said this. "I need to see her...before I go. I need to make sure that she's safe down there."
"You're talking about the prison...the White Martian…"
"I know she's not our daughter," Alex said gently. "But I can't stop seeing her pinned to the wall by J'onn. I can't forget that I promised her that I'd keep her safe." She looked away from him for a moment. Was she messed up? Was that whole idea still messed up? "I just…"
"She's not well," Max said. "That's what J'onn said. I think one of the scientists commented that there's a whole slew of genetic differences from another one you have in custody."
"I know it might sound-"
"No, I get it." He sighed and then used a finger to turn her head back until she was looking at him again. "Just promise me something?"
"What?"
"I know you're going to go and get some space...think...be with your mom," Max rattled off. "Take a cell phone with you. Call me...or text me...e-mail me...I don't care what form of communication you favor...just don't shut me out."
"What if it's an emoji?"
"I'm really not going to be picky. I just want to know that you're still alive and that you're okay," Max told her sincerely. He cared about her, Alex knew that. "If you need to talk, I'll listen. When you get back, I hope we can talk about everything...figure things out."
Alex was going to argue that there really wasn't anything to figure out since they weren't actually married, but she knew what he meant. He wanted to check in, see where emotions sat, and to see if there was anything that remained between them. "Okay," was all she whispered.
"You know these glass walls really don't help with privacy," Max pointed out as he moved to grab the stack of clothes and running shoes. He set them on the bed next to her.
"There's a curtain," Alex pointed out as she pointed above her bed.
"Right."
The walk to The Pipeline took a lot longer than she'd expected or what she was used to. Max was at her arm, but Alex didn't even care. She was still weak and recovering. It was actually more surprising that J'onn hadn't said anything when he'd asked what they were doing and where they were going. He could read minds, though, so Alex had just chalked it up to him understanding or realizing why she needed to do it.
"This is what my part was for, wasn't it?"
"Yes," Alex told him.
"Who designed it?"
"Well, it's massively Fort Rozz, but Cisco Ramon of STAR Labs in Central City."
She didn't miss the face Max made, it was almost like a cringe. "That lab has such a bad reputation, I can't believe the DEO would have utilized it in any way."
"Jealous?"
"No," Max told her quickly. "Not remotely."
She could see him taking it all in. It was a wide range of emotions that colored his face. Interest. Wonder. Intrigue. Amusement. Disgust. They'd rehomed all of their detainees to The Pipeline and so far, it had held without any issues. "She should be up here near the other White Martian."
"The one who impersonated the senator?"
"Yeah, that one."
They stopped when they came in front of the cell in question. The White Martian that had basically mind controlled them for the last month was still in the form of a small girl. Alex was having a hard time, but she kept reminding herself that it wasn't her daughter...that it was a White Martian and that it needed to be there.
"Mommy! Daddy!" River cried as she banged on the glass door that held her in the cell. "Please help me."
Tears sprang forth and Alex didn't stop them. She crouched down so that she was at the same level as the White Martian. "We are helping you," Alex told her. "I promised you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. You're going to be safe here."
"I don't want to stay here!"
"You have to!" Max shouted at the White Martian.
Alex jumped just slightly in response. She straightened up and moved to his side, slipping her hand into his. "We should go," Alex told him. She'd seen her. Alex knew that the White Martian was safe and that the world was safe from it. They'd make sure of it. Maybe they could even find a way to help it.
"They ruined everything!" River shouted as they walked away. Alex didn't look back. "Kara Danvers and J'onn J'onzz are going to be the first that I kill when I get out of here!" she yelled hysterically as she pounded against the door the entire time.
They just kept walking.
The trip to Midvale ended up being entirely composed of her sleeping while J'onn drove (he'd insisted) and Kara had sat up front with him. Alex had thought that it was odd, but Kara had insisted, wanting to be right there with her the entire time. J'onn had carried her into the house, but she'd woken up once he'd gotten to the stairs. She supposed it was really going to be nicer now that her mother understood what had happened to her father and about J'onn.
They'd said their goodbyes and Alex had been left alone to unpack. Her mother had insisted on making something even though Alex had told her that she wasn't hungry. There was going to be soup, Alex was certain that there was going to be soup. She really didn't want soup.
As she finished putting the last of her clothes away that Kara had packed for her, she went back to fold up the bag and stow it out of the way, but found something in the bottom of the bag that had been hidden by the bag's color and the shadows. She picked it up and held it, just staring down at it. It was a blue book, a journal. It looked like River Song's journal from 'Doctor Who'. She was going to drop it back into the bag, but then she opened it and read what was written on the first page.
Alex-
I can't come with you. I want to, but we both need our time and space. You need to think and I need to think. You're going to keep in contact, though, you promised. I know that the last journal you had to write in wasn't the truth, but I think that the reason for it...at least as far as the story was fed was a good reason. Write everything you're feeling. That story version of you, the future one, she had lost her world. You might not have lost it, but it has to feel like it's crumbling or spiraling. I know you, Alex. I know you like control. Write down your thoughts. Most of all, don't let River Tam or River Song be ruined for you. You tell your story. Tell the story that few others will know.
- Max
There was a light knock at the door and she set the journal off to the side on the nightstand before throwing the bag to the chair. Her mother opened the door and was carrying things that Alex wasn't prepared to see. "I know that you don't like the soup that I think is good for you and the other day, I was at the store and just felt the need to pick this up-"
"None of that is anything that you eat."
"I know," Eliza said as she set the tray down on the bed in front of Alex. She'd brought her a ready to eat chicken cup of noodles, cheese crackers with peanut butter, a wrapped pop tart, two fruit roll ups, a can of her favorite soda, and a water bottle. "But I knew that you'd be home."
Alex carefully got up from the bed and hugged her mother. She just held onto her. "Thank you," she whispered. It was such a sweet thing to do. Alex knew that her mother was doing it because even if it wasn't the healthiest foods or snacks, it was what would make Alex feel better. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Sweetheart. I love you, too."
She closed her eyes and just held onto her mother. Alex was certain that J'onn and Kara had given her at least the basics of what had happened and why she'd been missing for four weeks. Right now, all she wanted was for her mother to hug her...for Alex to feel like she was finally home.
And she was.
The End.