A/N: *waves excitedly* Soooo hello and welcome to another one of my random and shameless AUs of a couple that I have literally written to death, Bucky and Summer :D as long as you guys keep reading them I'll keep writing them, and this one is probably by far the most fun one that I've written :D The idea for this came about as a way to celebrate my monster fic Life After Death hitting the 1,000 mark for reviews, and while it's currently about 50 reviews shy of that, I lack the will or the patience to hold off on starting to post it, so here we are :) BUT impatience aside, I do mean this story as a giant thank you to the lovely readers and followers and reviewers who have stuck with me for so long and read Life After Death through all the ups and downs and horrible cliffhangers and other pain and suffering I've inflicted lol. I hope you guys enjoy this and if you are reading this and haven't read LAD, my thanks to you as well and you definitely don't need to read anything else of mine to (hopefully) enjoy this :)

This story is mostly already finished and will be three chapters long, so updates won't take very long. My huge and undying thanks to midnightwings96 for helping me plot and flesh this idea out when I started aimlessly rambling about it a couple weeks ago, and also for being amazing and encouraging and absolutely irreplaceable :) I look forward to hearing what you guys think, and I'll see you all soon :D

It was a good night. It had been a good week and even better month, and Summer was actually pretty damn happy for the first time in a long time.

She was, at the age of 26, an event planner for one of the biggest corporations in New York and the entire country. She had a circle of friends that she loved, one of which she was in the middle of throwing a party for at her place to celebrate a promotion they had just gotten, and while the party was small, she was having a blast. Laughter was in the air and a decent amount of alcohol was flowing, and it was nights like these that made her thank the heavens above that she'd taken a chance and moved to New York on little more than a hope and a prayer several years earlier.

Of course, that didn't mean those same friends that she loved and cherished couldn't also be annoying as hell, especially once they were congregated together and had a couple of drinks in them during a party.

"You know what I think I might like best about tonight?" Natasha asked, drink in hand as she lounged on the couch next to Summer. She glanced at her friend and then added with a small smile, "Marcus isn't here."

Summer rolled her eyes and ignored the responding laughs of the others in the room. "Do you have to bring him up?"

"Well, we did have to tolerate him for your sake for six very painful months," came the smooth and British accented voice of Peggy, sitting across from Summer on another couch. She was perched on her husband's lap to make more sitting room for others, and from the way that he was blushing, it was hard to believe that they had been married for three years already.

"Very painful," Steve agreed from underneath his wife.

"See?" Peggy gestured. "Even he couldn't stand him, and Steve is nice to everyone."

"Yeah, I know, he was a colossal jerk. Don't remind me," Summer chuckled with her hands up, all too eager to forget the rather steep lowering of her standards that had led to that relationship in the first place. She had definitely learned her lesson, however.

"Who's a colossal jerk?"

And just like that, with a handful of causally spoken words, Summer felt the familiar rush of her breath leaving her lungs and nervous flutters swimming through her belly as the couch depressed next to her. Just like she had long trained herself to do, however, she shoved those feelings away and then made a silly and falsely angry face when her other friend, Bucky - her best friend, if she was being honest - nudged her legs with his foot and told her to scoot as he sat next to her.

"Marcus, of course," Natasha answered for Summer, and as soon as the words left her mouth, Bucky groaned loudly and almost spit out the mouthful of beer he'd just sucked out of the bottle in his hand.

"Ugh, that fucking loser," he immediately grumbled, pushing back a lock of short hair that had fallen into his face while Summer pretended not to watch. "Do we really have to talk about him?"

"No!" Summer exclaimed. "Nat brought him up, I didn't. I'd be happy to never hear his stupid name again."

"I still can't believe how easily he let you go," Peggy mused, shifting slightly in Steve's lap, which made him clear his throat and look away.

"Actually," Natasha shrugged, "it makes sense. I still think he was gay and just hadn't come to terms with it yet."

Summer sunk against the couch and let out a deep breath of despair. "Here we go."

"Gay? He wasn't gay, he was just an idiot. Calling him gay's an insult to gay people," Bucky opined. His knee was pressed against Summer's, and it wasn't his fault - space on the couch was scarce, and he wasn't exactly a small man. "Why d'you say he's gay?"

"Nat, if you answer that, I will kill you," Summer said, glaring daggers at her troublemaker of a friend.

"I'm just saying," Natasha shrugged, "any normal straight man would never have refused to -"

Summer grabbed a pillow and threw it at Natasha, screeching, "Shut the frick up!"

But it was too late. Everyone in the room's ears perked up, and Bucky was the first to furrow his brows and say, "Refused to what?"

"Yes, refused to what?" Peggy asked next, letting Steve shift her down to a newly vacated spot on the couch next to him, so that her occasional squirming could no longer pleasantly torture him.

"Nothing!" Summer yelled, face red and her very soul on fire as she tried desperately hard to make everyone just drop it. "Seriously, it's nothing and Natasha, I mean it, I will not speak to you for a month if you say another word."

Natasha smirked and relented, leaning back against the couch and keeping her mouth shut. Unfortunately, her newfound silence did nothing to help Summer.

"You did sleep together, yes?" Peggy asked.

"Oh my God, yes," Summer groaned.

"Then what wouldn't he do?" Peggy pressed on.

"This is why you work for the government, isn't it?" Summer retorted. "You never let anything go."

Peggy merely grinned proudly and replied, "I believe stubborn is the word you're looking for, and yes."

"Just tell us," Bucky said. "You know she's not gonna let it go until you spill."

Summer glared at him in reply and then snatched the beer out of his hand, taking a healthy chug of it before shoving it back into his hand. "No."

"Darling," Peggy sighed, "you're surrounded by two highly trained government operatives," she motioned to herself and Steve, "an ex-Army sergeant who could charm a serial killer into confessing their crimes to police," she pointed to Bucky who winked and grinned in agreement, "and then Natasha, who despite being a tiny Russian ballet instructor could probably kill a man with her pinky finger."

"It's true, I've done it," Natasha teased.

"My point is, we're going to find out one way or another."

Summer looked at Steve, who shook his head and smiled with deep sympathy. "Sorry. Don't think I'm gonna be much help on this one."

"Just... suffice it to say that Marcus," Natasha said, ripping the bandaid off for Summer's sake, "was not a fan of... how should I say it..."

Summer grabbed the pillow she'd flung at Natasha and covered her face with it instead. Bucky chuckled and patted her knee. She smacked his hand away.

"... Putting his money where his mouth was."

Summer dropped the pillow and muttered, "Yep, not talking to you for a month."

Peggy gasped. Bucky stared in surprise and bewilderment. Steve made a face of discomfort like he really didn't want to hear about such acts in conjunction with one of his closest friends.

"Are you serious?" Peggy asked, looking scandalized.

"Definitely gay," Bucky declared. "And here I thought he was just an idiot. Poor guy."

"Well now that the mystery's been solved," Summer said pointedly, shooting Bucky a glare that he responded to with a maddening grin, "can we please change the subject?"

"I surely hope that you didn't do for him what he wouldn't do for you," Peggy said, eyes still wide and now appearing equally concerned as she was shocked.

"Oh she did," Natasha replied before Summer could tackle her and make her shut up. "She likes that enough to do it without getting it back."

An inhuman noise of despair ripped out of Summer's throat as she once again pummeled Natasha with the pillow, and unbeknownst to her, Bucky choked on his beer and turned a rather bright shade of red as Summer attempted to exact revenge on her blabbermouth friend.

"You suck! I'm never telling you anything again!" Summer said as she whacked Natasha's head with the dreadfully soft pillow, but despite her humiliation, she was laughing and so was Natasha. Bucky caught his breath while Peggy caught a case of the giggles herself, and all the while Steve simply shook his head like he was the one sane person in the midst of a chaotic zoo.

She was used to it. This was how plenty of parties and get-togethers went, and despite how annoying it was to have to deal with occasional soul-crushing humiliation, she wouldn't have changed a thing. Well, maybe a few things, but she made it a point not to focus on that.

"Okay," she said, taking a breath and flipping her long black hair back behind her shoulder as she stood up from the couch, "if you'll all excuse me, I need to go drink away my embarrassment now. And find my dignity wherever Nat left it this time."

Natasha got up with her, offering to make her a drink as a bit of an apology, and as Summer walked past Bucky, he looked up at her and gave her a certain look as he held his beer bottle to his lips. She rolled her eyes at him, ignoring the tiny flip of her stomach like she always did, smacking him lightly on the side of his head as she walked towards her kitchen.

She really did love her friends, even when they drove her nuts. She had met them all through Bucky, who ran a self defense class that she had signed up for within a week of arriving in New York a few years earlier. After being mugged within literally four days of living in the city, she had signed up for the first class that she came across, he taught her how to kick ass and look good while doing it, and that was how she met her current best friend.

She also happened to be quite deeply and painfully in love with him, but that was something that she didn't consider particularly relevant. He had never once asked her out on a date, and it was clear that he only viewed her in a strictly platonic light. She watched different ladies come into his life and leave as quickly as they arrived, none of them lasting and none of them caring for him even a fraction of the way that she did. Charming as he was, he was also a complicated and haunted man, having seen terrible things in his time serving overseas, and he bore both physical and mental scars that not many of his dates could seem to handle for very long. Eventually, this led to him adopting a cynical attitude and swearing off relationships for the most part, while Summer clung to the opposite perspective and tried hard to find a man worth spending her life with. It wasn't working out so well for her.

But, despite the constant ache in her heart that she had been carrying around ever since she let herself start wondering what it would be like to feel Bucky's lips on hers or how amazing it might be to get to wake up next to him every morning, she told herself that she was content. She had a great life, a great job, great friends, and specifically a great best friend in Bucky. He was there for her when she needed someone to rant to or distract her when everyday stress began to get to her, and she was there for him when nightmares would keep him up and he needed someone to talk to on the phone until he fell back asleep. He had taken care of her at her worst, when she came down with the flu like clockwork every winter and reverted to a pathetic needy child in need of chicken noodle soup, and she had taken care of him on more than once occasion when he tried to drink his demons away and ended up passed out on her living room floor.

They worked. She was lucky to have him, she really was. She wouldn't dare complain about being just friends with him, because how many people got to have a friend as amazing as him? He was sweet and caring and he'd go to the ends of the earth for her, and he had told her that more than once. He just didn't love her in quite the same way that she loved him.

And that was fine. She was fine. Or at least that's what she told herself on an almost daily basis.

Over the course of the rest of the night, Summer enjoyed herself and managed to escape anymore embarrassing conversations, drinking more and laughing until her sides hurt. After midnight came and went, some of the others began to leave, and before she knew it, she was hugging Peggy and Steve goodbye and seeing Natasha off in a cab. A few other stragglers remained, but by the time that it was nearly two in the morning, all that remained was her, Bucky, and more trash and dishes than she could hardly stand to deal with.

"Go on home, Bucky," she told him, gathering up an armful of red plastic cups and hauling them to her trash can in the kitchen. "You don't have to help me pick up after everyone."

He made a slight scoffing sound and followed her, carrying his own armful of trash. "It's no problem. You shouldn't have to clean all this on your own, especially when you're the one who threw the party."

"Comes with the territory," she shrugged, laughing when he almost tripped over a pack of sodas on her kitchen floor. "You're drunk."

"No I'm not," he protested, depositing the trash in the bin and then gesturing to the sodas. "It's not my fault you leave your crap laying around for people to trip on it."

"Oh okay, sure," she chuckled, turning and heading back towards the living room. "Well, you should call a cab, unless you want to crash on my lovely couch."

He made a noncommittal noise, picking up what he was pretty sure were his own empty beer bottles as Summer stood and glared at the state of her apartment. Maybe she should just clean in the morning, when she wasn't tipsy or itching to crawl into bed.

"You know, I still can't believe the Marcus thing."

Summer froze and then closed her eyes briefly before glancing over her shoulder and pleading, "Can we please just forget that was ever said? Like, it was bad enough while I was still with him and had to deal with... that, so..."

"Seriously though," he said, oblivious to her desire for silence, which was a common side effect of his mild intoxication that she was rather used to. "How did that even happen? Like how would it go? Would you like... ask for it and then he'd go oh no, ew, I don't do that, get it away from me!"

Summer couldn't help but laugh at the higher pitch of Bucky's voice at the end of the sentence, even though her face flushed with new embarrassment as she headed back into the kitchen with a new stack of cups to throw away. Bucky walked close behind her. "No, not really. I mean... he just... didn't like doing it."

"Did he ever try?"

"Nope," she sighed, biting her lip and wishing that she could go back in time and put a muzzle on Natasha.

"And you stayed with him for six months?! Summer..."

They both dropped their trash into the can at the same time, and Summer sighed again at the almost scolding tone in his voice. She then put her hands on her hips, trying not to be too distracted by how good he looked in just a simple but well fitted pair of jeans and a long sleeved dark blue shirt. A lock of his hair kept falling into his eyes, and it was hard to not reach out and brush it back for him. But she persevered.

"I was dumb, okay?" she shrugged. "We know I don't really know how to pick them. I suck."

"You don't suck." Then he paused and, as a grin began to curl across his lips, he said, "Well actually, according to Natasha, you do, but..."

Summer smacked him in the shoulder - a rather solid shoulder - and then walked past him. "I'm gonna kill her."

His chuckle followed her back out to the living room. Rather than continue cleaning up, she plopped down on the couch and let out a tired breath. Bucky sat down next to her, just a few inches between them, and he was apparently a curious soul that night.

"So you were with him for six months, and before that, you'd been single for what... seven?"

Summer nodded, closing her eyes and feeling the room swim just a little bit. It was pleasant, not nausea inducing like it would be if she was fully drunk. "Yup."

"... So how long's it been since you've actually had some decent sex?"

Her eyes popped open and she punched him in the arm. "Shut up! Oh my God, what is this, sexual interrogation night?"

He smiled and laughed, clutching his shoulder exaggeratedly. "I'm just curious, honestly. And it explains why you're always so wound up all the time."

She rolled her eyes and turned away from him. "Yeah, that's it."

"Could be a part of it," he shrugged. "You know, everybody acts like guys need it more, but I think it's the opposite. Or maybe it's just the same, I don't know. Everybody needs it."

"Well, I'm doing fine," she said, flashing him a fake smile, trying to let him know that she was more than done with this particular topic.

"Yeah?" He grinned at her in a lopsided way that made her breath catch, and then he asked, "How many batteries you go through in a month?"

She smacked him again. "Oh my God! Leave me the frick alone!"

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed through another fit of laughter, and she had to admit, she loved seeing him laugh. Even when it was at her expense. "It's just... you poor thing. You work so hard and do so much, and it's been at least a year since you've had a guy go down on you, and that's just... it's a fucking travesty."

For several reasons, one of which was merely hearing him say those words, Summer's brain briefly went blank and her face became the color of a perfectly ripe strawberry. She had no response, none of her usual snappy retorts, only... embarrassment and speechlessness. Bucky stared at her, waiting for a response, and when she did nothing but gape and then look away, his smile faded and sudden concern replaced his previously humorous expression.

"... Summer?"

She shook her head and refused to look him in the eye. "It's late. I should uh... I should probably -"

"You have... before." He blinked. "Right?"

This wasn't happening. "Want me to call you a cab?"

Bucky's face was so full of shock, one might have thought that something truly terrible had just occurred. "Summer -"

"No, okay?" she suddenly snapped, wishing the ground beneath her would open her up and swallow her whole. "No, nobody's ever done that to me before, unless you count this one weirdo in college and I don't because it was like a dog lapping at a bowl of water, and... yeah, it wasn't good, and the one time I got my nerve up to ask for it, I got shut down. All right? Happy now that I want to go die of embarrassment all over again?"

Bucky was aghast. Horrified. Utterly outraged. "No! No, Summer, that's not... that's not what I was trying to do. I'm just... I'm in shock."

She crossed her arms tightly and muttered, "Yeah, well, join the club."

He sat up straighter, brows knit tightly together as if he were trying to work through a particularly difficult mathematical equation in his head. "Just... how? I mean... that's one of my favorite parts of having sex. How can no guy have ever..."

Summer nearly expired right on the spot, knowing that he had no way of knowing what it would do to her to hear that that was one of his favorite parts of having sex. It wasn't as if they'd never talked about such things before, but hearing him say that immediately kickstarted her imagination and made it go places that she really didn't need it going, especially while he was sitting right next to her. She generally tried to keep her imagination on a tight leash and not let her mind be filled with unspeakable thoughts about her best friend, but, well... she was only human, and a rather deprived one at that. And he was gorgeous and perfect and, she had no doubt, a fantastic lover.

Not that she'd ever get to find that out for herself. Though she had, unfortunately, overheard blissful feminine moans through closed doors on more than one occasion that served as confirmation of his sexual prowess. Ugh.

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's like I said. I suck at picking them, I guess. It's whatever."

"No it's not," he said, suddenly very serious. "It's important, Summer. You're important."

She didn't know quite what to say to that, and the longer that the conversation lingered, the more nervous she became. She ended up tapping her palms on her knees and shrugging, "Well, guess I'll try to pick better boyfriends in the future. But I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed. Crash here if you want."

She got up and all but dashed into the kitchen before he could say a word, fleeing while she still could. She grabbed a glass from her cabinets and filled it with cold water from her sink, and she drank half of it in one big gulp as she tried to calm her frazzled nerves. She was still trying not to think about what he'd said, how apparently putting his mouth on a woman was one of his favorite things to do in bed, and she definitely wasn't wondering what he'd look like in the middle of the act. He was always so passionate about everything, and she was willing to bet that went doubly in regards to sex. He had such a strong, singular focus when it came to things he was passionate about, and to imagine being the person at the center of that focus...

She suppressed a shiver and then dropped her glass into the sink, leaving it for the next day with the rest of the dishes. She then turned to make a beeline for her bedroom, only to stop in her tracks when she saw Bucky standing in the doorway, arms crossed as he watched her with a peculiar expression. She had no idea what it was that she saw in his eyes, but whatever it was, it made her heart beat faster and butterflies race through her belly.

"What?" she asked with a small, nervous smile.

"Nothing. I just..." He trailed off for a moment, hesitating and looking like he was deeply debating his next words. Finally he shrugged one shoulder and spit it out. "I have an idea."

"... About what?" she asked, eyes a little wide. He was starting to really freak her out.

"We're friends, right? Really good friends."

"Of course," she replied automatically. "You're my best friend. I've told you that like a million times."

He smiled briefly and nodded. "We're always there for each other, right? For pretty much everything. The good, the bad, the ugly, all of that."

"Bucky, you're starting to really freak me out," she admitted, on the verge of screaming.

He grinned and chuckled through his nose. "Sorry. I was just thinking..."

She was going to strangle him. "... Thinking what?"

He grinned again, just for a moment before finally getting the words out. "We could have sex. As friends."

Summer was fairly sure that her heart stopped beating and crashed straight to the floor. She gaped at him like a bewildered fish before blinking rapidly and stammering, "Wow, you really are drunk. A lot drunker than I thought."

"I'm barely buzzed," he told her, and she knew it was true. It had been awhile since their last drinks, and neither of them were anywhere near being actually drunk. This was all him speaking, not the alcohol. The buzz simply made it easier for him to get the words out. "Trust me, you wouldn't be taking advantage of me."

She gulped. Was this even real?! "You're serious?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Why not?"

For starters, I'm in love with you and this is a horrible idea. "Because we're friends and having sex might things really weird?" She paused and then blurted, "Do you even want to sleep with me or is it a pity thing because of what I just told you?"

He entire expression changed and he dropped his arms as he replied, "No! No, Summer, that's not it at all, I promise."

"Then where is this coming from?" she asked, bordering somewhere between unbearable excitement and an even deeper pit of despair than usual.

He sighed and leaned against the doorway. "It's been awhile for me. It's been awhile for you. We trust each other. Honestly, it makes perfect sense to me. And that thing you've never gotten to experience," he added with a lick of his lips that she knew was deliberate. "I happen to be pretty fucking good at it."

It was like ascending into the heavens while also jamming a dull knife into her own back. Here he was, Bucky Barnes, the man she had been secretly and silently pining over for several years, offering her everything she had ever wanted and nothing that she wanted, all at the same time. He didn't know it, but he was torturing her and she had no idea what to do.

"So... friends with benefits?" she asked, her voice a lot squeakier than she would have preferred.

"Something like that," he replied, throwing her another grin. "No pressure though. Just an idea."

She stared at him, her blank face giving nothing away of her inner turmoil. She wanted to say yes - God she wanted to say yes - but should she? It would be torture for her, yes, but she was also painfully aware that this might be her only chance to ever be more than friends with him, even if it was only a little more. She had wanted him for so long and had never thought that something like this would ever happen, but yet here she was.

Really, though, despite her inner conflict, there was only one choice to make and only one answer that she was ever going to give. And she had known it from the moment the words left his lips.

On her grave one day would be the words Summer McAdams: Daughter, Sister, Friend, Idiotic Masochist.

"...Okay."

He blinked as if her answer surprised him. "Yeah?" She nodded quickly, before she lost her nerve. "You sure?"

She nodded again. "Yeah. You make a... good case."

He chuckled. "Yeah I know. I should have been a lawyer."

She rolled her eyes. Of all the times to make bad puns...

He jerked his head towards her bedroom. "Come on. We can talk some more in your room."

"Okay," she said dumbly, staring as she watched him turn and stroll out of her kitchen and down the hallway like he owned the place.

She resisted the urge to scream and jump through the nearest window. This was, apparently, happening. She was going to have sex with her best friend and ages-long crush. And she was gonna do it now.

Oh God.

"Don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out," she chanted to herself under her breath before following after Bucky, only to change course at the last minute and make a very necessary pit stop in her bathroom first. Brushing her teeth and shaving her legs lightning-fast suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world to do, so she spent five minutes on last minute and slightly crazed grooming, all the while wondering if this was some elaborate dream that she was going to wake up from any minute. It wasn't.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom and found the courage to step into her own bedroom, she walked inside quietly to find Bucky sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at his phone. He looked up as soon as he heard her, immediately turning off the phone and tossing it somewhere behind him as he smiled. "There you are. Thought you got lost."

"Almost," she joked, lingering awkwardly for a moment before deciding to just go and sit down next to him. If she had any idea what the protocol was with things like this, she was pretty sure that she would have been slightly less awkward about it all, but she had obviously never done anything like this before.

As it was, he could sense her hesitation and, after looking her over for a moment after she sat, he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," she answered a little too quickly for her own good, taking him by slight surprise. She smiled and looked away as her cheeks heated up. "Yeah, I... I think like you said, it makes sense. And I could really use a night where I just..."

"Stop thinking?" he guessed, voice just a murmur by that point. He was close, and she shuddered to think of how much closer he was going to get as the night progressed. "Just... let go for awhile?"

She nodded, those rather tame words making her feel very not tame things. "Yeah."

"Good. Then turn off that brain of yours," he said, reaching up and affectionately tapping her forehead with two of his knuckles. "I can see you thinking."

She smiled and groaned at the same time. "Sorry. Tough habit to break, thinking."

"Yeah," he chuckled, standing up from the bed and stepping out of his shoes. "But when it comes to stuff like this, feeling's better than thinking. It's kinda the point, actually."

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow. "Do tell me more, O Wise One."

He chuckled and then turned off the overhead light, leaving the soft light of a lamp next to her bed as the sole source of illumination in the room. It was better that way, less glaringly bright light to freak her out and make her feel too exposed.

"I'm not gonna tell you anything," he said, walking back to the bed and heading straight towards her. "I'm gonna show you."

He then knelt on the bed, his hand going to the side of her face as he began to lean in very close, and she sucked in an audibly sharp breath at his proximity. He noticed this and froze, drawing back and asking, "You okay?"

She nodded, swallowing hard and most certainly not okay. "Yeah, yeah, just... I..."

"Was this too fast?" He asked, dropping his hand down. "I'm sorry."

He moved to sit next to her instead, and she let out a deep breath now that he was no longer in her personal space. This was already overwhelming and if she wasn't careful, she was going to show her hand and give away her feelings. And that was not an option.

"It's okay," she said, shaking her head as if to clear it. She looked at him and smiled, shifting herself closer towards him until they were facing each other. "I'm just nervous."

"Oh, come on," he said comfortingly, reaching out and tucking a few stray pieces of hair behind her ear. "It's just me. If you're not comfortable with me, who are you gonna be comfortable with?"

Oh, if you only knew, she thought, sighing as he leaned in and pressed a soft, innocent kiss to her forehead. That was nothing new. Neither was the equally soft kiss that came next on her cheek, at least at first. But that changed when his lips lingered on her skin, just long enough to make it clear that it wasn't a normal, chaste kiss between friends. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as he trailed his mouth down to her jaw, kissing her there as his hand cupped the other side of her face. He peeked up at her briefly before closing his eyes and then pressing his lips to her neck, and it was as he began to kiss her there that what they were doing finally became real to Summer.

How long had she spent imagining this, what it would feel like the first time he ever touched her like this and kissed her like a lover instead of a sister? She used to scold herself for having such thoughts, thinking it would never happen and they'd never be this close, and yet now it was happening. He was kissing down one side of her neck while his thumb softly caressed down the other, and his lips were so incredibly soft and gentle. He kissed his way up to her ear, where his voice came out as a low, smooth groan as he said, "You smell good." She smiled and let out a faint giggle, and he added more quietly, "You always smell good."

Her heart was pounding so hard it nearly hurt. He raised his head, bringing her face closer to his with his hand still cupping her jaw, and her head spun as she opened her eyes and gazed down at his lips. They were slightly parted and unfairly pretty, and they inspired the next words that came tumbling out of her mouth.

"Kissing's okay, right?" she asked breathlessly. "It's not weird or anything? Because if you didn't want to I'd understand, but I can't really imagine doing... um... more without kissing, and -"

One lone finger pressed to her lips and effectively hushed her. He grinned and then cupped her face with both hands, telling her, "Close your eyes, Summer. Stop thinking." Then his lips pressed to hers, and he took away her very ability to even remember what thinking was.

All of her dreams and all of her little fantasies all paled in the face of the real thing. She let out an embarrassing sound within seconds of his lips touching hers, unable to stop herself, and she felt like he'd lit her on fire. She kissed him back eagerly, all too willing to burn for him, unaware that the entire time, her arms and hands were glued to her sides as if they were paralyzed there.

He broke the kiss after a moment and then chuckled, "You can touch me, you know."

Oh right. That was one of the major perks of this thing. What was she thinking letting it go to waste for even a handful of moments?

"Right, sorry," she smiled sheepishly, her face engulfed in a deep and almost painfully hot blush as she reached up one hand and laid it on top of his shoulder. She kept the other one planted on the bed, mainly because she felt like she'd fall over and pass out if she didn't keep holding herself up.

He glanced down at her hand as it rested on his shoulder, then reached up and took it in his own hand, sliding it into his hair as his eyes met hers again. He then explained, "I like having my hair played with. And pulled."

"Oh," she squeaked out, forgetting how to breathe as she processed that tidbit of information. Then he was kissing her again, and her fingers curled around his dark locks as her eyes closed and her senses went into overload again. The slight, pleasant sting of his stubble scraping against her chin was in stark contrast to the softness of his lips on hers, and when his tongue touched hers for the first time, she let out a helpless and breathless moan that she couldn't believe came out of her mouth. She'd been told that she was "quieter than a dead mouse" on more than one occasion, but then again, maybe that was because she had been choosing the wrong men to kiss and hop in bed with.

He was even better of a kisser than she had thought he would be. The things that he did with his tongue, the soft but consuming way that his lips caressed hers, it all left her head spinning and blood rushing in a way that was already almost overwhelming. And they had barely even got started.

She was doomed.

His hands, before she hardly noticed where they even were, curled around her hips and pulled her on his lap. She grasped his shoulders for balance and broke their kiss with a smile, both of their eyes opening as he grinned back and pulled her so that she was pressed against him. He brushed her hair behind her back and lowered his lips to her neck again, less gentle this time around and more insistent. She slid one hand back into his hair, closing her eyes and instinctively rocking down against him when his teeth nipped just under her ear, making her entire body shiver. He groaned at her response, then brought his lips to her ear and murmured, "Doesn't take much to get you all worked up, does it?"

There was no safe way to answer that, especially when he dropped his head and went back to kissing down her neck, this time reaching her collarbone. She let out a shaky breath and said, "Well, I'm deprived and everything, so..."

He made a disgruntled sound and drew back so he could look up at her, dragging his eyes up and down her body. "Doesn't make any fucking sense. Look at you. How's nobody laid you down and worshipped you yet?"

He was killing her and he didn't even know it. She stared at him, trying to think of something, anything, to say, but she was afraid what might come out if she did open her mouth. Eventually she managed a poor attempt at humor. "Well, you haven't seen me naked yet, so don't get too ahead of yourself."

He wasn't amused. He narrowed his eyes at her, giving her the sort of look that would make the average man shake in his boots and then run away. "Nobody gets to talk shit about you, Summer, including you. That's the last thing you're gonna say like that tonight, understand?"

Mother of God, he was bossing her around. Her nerves screamed with anticipation and her mind raced with dizzying flashes of what else he could do with that dominant streak of his. She nodded. "I understand."

His eyes softened then, and his gaze dropped down to her lips as he asked in a far less commanding tone, "Still want to do this?"

She actually giggled at his question. "How many times are you gonna ask me that? Isn't it obvious?"

He smiled and shook his head, looking her over and shrugging as he quietly answered, "I don't know. Just want to make sure you want it."

"I want it," she assured him, running her palms down over his chest through his shirt for emphasis. "Trust me."

That was enough for him. "Okay," he grinned before scooping her up and then tossing her down in the center of the bed on her back, making her giggle again. He smiled back and hovered over her, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb before he added with a clearly joking expression on his face, "Just don't fall in love with me."

He kissed her before he could have watched the smile fall off her face and a twinge of sadness replace the previous silly and happy gleam in her eye.

Too late, she thought a bit bitterly to herself. It was one of the last coherent thoughts she had all night.

Once upon a time, she had wondered if she and Bucky would have the same effortless chemistry in bed as they did in every day life. It turned out that she was very, very wrong. Their chemistry in bed was even better than she had hoped it would be.

He took things slow at first, kissing her senseless as he laid just a little bit of his weight on her and let his hands wander along her still-clothed body. He slipped his hand up the front of her shirt, his palm sliding across her flat, soft belly and then wandering further upwards. He broke their kiss, breathing hotly against her open mouth as he gently caressed her breast through her bra, groaning lowly in his throat before removing his hand and pushing her shirt up with both hands.

She leaned up so he could pull off her top completely, and it didn't even hit the floor before his fingers were at her back, unhooking her bra. He kissed her and then pulled away as he pulled the bra off of her shoulders, dropping it carelessly as his eyes glued themselves to her breasts. Leaning back on her palms, she tried not to smile, but it wasn't easy. Being a close friend, she was well aware of the fact that he was, for lack of a better term, a "breast man". She knew because he'd said as much and because he'd nearly had a stroke maintaining eye contact with her during the few times he'd seen her in some of her more revealing dresses.

"Fucking... hell," he groaned, both hands going to his two new objects of fixations. He rubbed over them before softly squeezing, testing their weight and how they fit in his hands. His hands weren't particularly small, but they were just a little too big for him to grasp fully. In other words, he was in heaven.

He was working wonders for her self-confidence. She was also going out of her mind, hips squirming beneath him when he ducked his head down and replaced one of his hands with his mouth, kissing and licking and sending sharp jolts of arousal down her body. He made little sounds of pleasure all the while, like he was enjoying just as much as she was if not more, and when he finally came up for air, she was a wreck and he looked ravenous.

He climbed on top of her again, pushing her back down to the mattress and kissing her with a dizzying fury. She needed him closer, needed more - much more - and she started yanking up his shirt when he began fumbling with the button of her jeans. He ended up finding success before she did, sitting back on his knees and pulling her jeans down and off of her legs, leaving her in nothing but lace panties while he was still fully clothed.

His eyes raked over her figure, licking his lips in a way that made her nearly shudder in anticipation, but she needed to even things up a bit. She sat up before he could pounce again, reaching wordlessly for the hem of his shirt and tugging until he lifted his arms and let her take it off. He shifted off of his knees and she climbed on his lap again, straddling his denim-clad thighs with her mostly bare ones and throwing his shirt to the floor. Her hands automatically went to the top of his chest, then fanned out over his shoulders, and she was leaning in to kiss him when she saw the way that he tensed a little bit. She paused and quickly realized what was to blame - it was her fingertips trailing along the top of his left arm, and consequently the scars there.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, removing both hands and letting them hover over where they had previously been.

He shook his head and took her hands in his, putting them back where they had been. "Sorry. Old habits."

She nodded understandingly. "You know I've seen your arm plenty of times before. It's never bothered me before and it never will."

"I know. Just this... last girl I took home, she couldn't stop staring and..." he shook his head again and shot her a humorless smile. "Great way to ruin the mood."

Summer frowned, knowing how insecure he could be about the arm and wishing she could track that girl down and tell her off. "Well," she said as she slowly dragged her hand down the length of the limb, "I'm not some girl you just took home." It was the closest she could safely get to saying I love you without speaking those damning words.

"I know," he murmured, a warm, crooked smile playing on his face as she touched him.

"Don't forget it," she warned him with a grin before leaning down and pressing her lips to a small seam of scars that laid where his neck met his shoulder. There was a long and horrifying story behind the scars, one that he hadn't been comfortable enough to tell her until months after they had first become friends, but she didn't want that story or anything from his past bothering him that night. She kissed each raised, faded line until her lips reached his neck, and he leaned his head to the side to encourage her as she repaid some of the havoc he had inflicted on her neck earlier. He ran one hand up and down her back, slipping into the back of her panties and squeezing rather harshly when her teeth grazed his pulse. She soothed over the spot with her tongue and then looked up at him through her lashes, losing her breath when she saw the raw hunger in his eyes.

"Lay back," he instructed her, and she obeyed so quickly that it made him smile a little. She laid so that she was resting back on the pile of pillows that she slept on every night, and she might have fallen into a brief moment of insecurity if not for the way that he bit his lip as he started stalking towards her on his hands and knees. "You're so fucking hot, you know that?"

All of this was going to hurt so badly once it was over, she knew, but for the time being she soaked up his words and basked in them. She knew she'd be replaying them in her head over and over, keeping them tucked away in a secret corner of her heart and torturing herself like the self-saboteur that she was.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she said when she found her voice again. He was on top of her again, and her hands were between them, undoing his jeans and trying to push them down as he found himself distracted by her breasts once again. She didn't mind in the least, arching her back and biting down on her lip to keep from moaning as his tongue teased her nipple and his mouth closed around it.

He glanced up at her and shook his head. "Not when I don't mean it."

He was kissing his way back up her chest and doing a surprisingly good job of kicking his jeans off of his legs in the process while she blurted, "If I'd known you thought that, I would have tried to do this with you sooner."

He paused, lifting his head and looking at her with an endlessly amused grin. "I've always told you how pretty you are, Summer."

"Pretty and hot are two different things," she pointed out.

"Yeah," he admitted, lips curling up in another grin. "There's pretty and then there's hot. And then there's fucking hot, and that," he said, massaging her breast for emphasis, "is what you are."

She started laughing. She couldn't help it. He laughed too before ending the giggles with a searing kiss to her lips, and meanwhile, deep down inside and buried under her laughter, all she wanted to know was why he had never expressed once ounce of romantic interest in her if he truly felt that way. This was absolutely maddening.

But it wasn't time for such questions. His tongue was in her mouth, sliding sensually and heatedly with her own, and there was a hardness pressed to her thigh that was impossible to ignore. His hands were everywhere, all over her, stroking and groping and teasing until his right one finally slid between her legs and brushed over her softly through the panties she still wore. Her hips jerked at the contact and he broke their kiss, glancing down between them and watching her body tremble slightly as he one-handedly slipped the fabric down and off of her legs. Then he was touching her again, incredibly softly at first, and Summer's face went up in flames when he exhaled heavily and groaned into her ear, "Fuck, you're so wet."

The press of his fingers became firmer then, but still soft and slow as they touched her just right. She had his hair clenched in her fist, her eyes closed and legs falling apart more widely as whatever inhibitions she had left began to fade under his touch. He was marking her neck with his mouth, a strangely possessive move that she hadn't expected, but then his lips moved back to her ear and made her lose all train of thought as well as a sizable portion of her mind.

"Feel good, baby?"

Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. She answered him with a jerky nod, his use of the word baby making her almost want to cry. He was so perfect it was just obscene.

He nipped at her ear and then asked in a low, smooth growl, "Want my mouth instead?"

Something between a moan and a gasp escaped her lips and her eyes flew open, her gaze meeting his as his fingers moved quicker. It felt amazing, and she couldn't remember a man having ever been that good with his fingers, but...

One slightly sloppy kiss to her lips later, he added, "Say the word and I'll fucking devour you."

She almost fell apart just from those words alone. She moaned and then nodded mindlessly quickly, babbling what she'd later realize was yes, yes please oh God, but there was no time to be embarrassed or to even care about what words came tumbling out of her mouth. He kissed her with a new passion that was actually sheer excitement, biting his lip and grinning at her before he suddenly disappeared from view. There was no long, drawn out journey downwards or more teasing, because he knew how close to losing her mind she already was and if he wound her up any tighter, he would just be acting cruel.

Instead, he quickly settled down between her legs and slung one over his shoulder, looking up at her with a sort of heat in his eyes that made her entire body flush. The fact that he was looking at her like that while he was just inches away from a part of her that she never thought he'd ever be this close to... she just might die before the night was over.

He knew her well enough to know that she was on the verge of freaking out. He gently placed a hand on her chest and pushed her to lay back down - when had she started trying to sit up? - and then told her, "Lay back and close your eyes."

"But -"

He pushed a little harder, and she fell back against the pillows with a soft thump.

"Lay back," he said more slowly, a little bit of that commanding tone back in his voice, "and close your eyes. Trust me, Summer."

If it had been any other man she'd slept with in the past saying that to her, she might have kicked them out of bed and told them not to bother coming back. She had just never experienced that level of trust before, but this was Bucky and she found trusting him and doing as he said to come as easily as breathing. She laid her head back against the pillow and forced her eyes shut, her mouth falling slightly open when Bucky pressed a hot kiss to her inner thigh, and then another, and another until he was nearly there. He lingered for a moment on that last inch of skin right at the innermost of her thigh, kissing and sucking the way that he had on her neck, and she was stunned at how incredibly sensitive she was there.

Then, just when she had finally managed to relax like he'd told her to, he wrecked her momentary calm by taking his first taste of her. She gasped quietly and froze, keeping her eyes shut tight until she heard and felt a low groan just before he suddenly pulled her closer by her hips and really got started. That was when her eyes flew open and let out a sound unlike any that any man had ever caused her to make before.

It was heaven. It was nothing like her previous lackluster experiences and everything that she had always hoped that it would be, only exponentially better. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said how he loved doing it, and the sounds that he made and the way that he occasionally glanced up to look her in the eye as he devoured her like he promised - it was that singular, passionate focus of his that she had been thinking about earlier, and now she was the one at the center of it.

She pulled at his hair, mindlessly clawing at his shoulders and also at the sheets on the bed, all the while moaning in ways that she was far too gone to be embarrassed over. He never relented in his assault, sometimes holding her still and sometimes letting his hands wander up to grasp and play with her breasts, the combination of sensations almost more than she could handle. It was so good and so perfect that she didn't want it to ever end, but it felt like barely a few moments had passed by the time Summer felt herself losing control. She couldn't fight it, so she gave in and nearly ripped Bucky's hair out of his head as she almost - almost - screamed.

So that was what she had been missing out on all of that time.

Bucky turned his face and nuzzled her thigh, panting and trying to catch his breath as he looked up to find Summer limp and possibly ascending to a new plane of existence. She had let go of his hair and had an arm slung over her eyes, and he very much appreciated the way that her chest heaved up and down with each desperate breath that she took. He licked his lips and then kissed her inner thigh, nipping at it and making her jump a little bit.

"Oh my God," she breathed, dropping her arm and staring up at the ceiling for a moment. She heard him chuckle, feeling a faint vibration from his voice against her leg as well, and it took her a little bit of courage to look down at him and meet his eyes after all of... that.

He laid one more kiss on her thigh before easing her leg back down to the bed and then crawling back up to her, swiping a hand over his moth in the process. Her arms welcomed him, her fingers trying to tame his now-wild hair as he looked down at her with pure heat in his eyes and said, "You have no idea how good you taste." He pressed a soft, gentle kiss to her lips and added deviously, "I love that I was the first to make you come like that."

She didn't think it was possible to blush anymore than she already was, and yet that was exactly what she did. She bit her lip and murmured quietly, "I can't believe..."

"Can't believe what?" he asked just before eyeing a droplet of sweat that was slowly making its way down between her breasts. He lifted his eyes back up and guessed, "Can't believe I'm as good at that as I said I am?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "No... I had no doubt that you'd be amazing."

He raised an eyebrow, mirroring her grin. "Really?"

She smiled and nodded, reaching up to touch his face. The pad of her thumb teasing the dimple on his chin, she went on, "It was just... so good. I didn't want it to end."

"Me either," he grinned. "The way you were moving, and the sounds you were making... it was fucking incredible. You're fucking incredible."

Before she could stammer out another giggle and some semblance of a reply, he kissed her and ground his very, very needy arousal against her hips. She couldn't believe that he wasn't even fully naked yet, but his need for her was painfully clear in how he kissed her and the strain in his voice when he broke away and said, "This was the best fucking idea I think I've ever had."

"Oh yeah?" she grinned, sliding her leg over his hip and pushing against him until he was laying on his side, both of them facing one another. Now that her mind had been thoroughly blown and her life forever changed, she could better focus on other things, like... returning a favor to a man that she had been dying to get her hands and mouth on forever.

He saw the change in her demeanor, and he slid his hand up her side and briefly over her breast as he grinned and replied, "Yeah. Think we should make this a regular thing."

"I wouldn't be opposed to that," she said, happily making her grave even deeper and kissing his lips as her hand trailed down his chest. He was strong and fit, something she had been more than aware of before and even since the day she'd met him, but this was the first time she had gotten to really feel him. She didn't let the opportunity go to waste, though after a few moments of heavy kissing and hands everywhere, she slipped her hand down over his defined abs and relished the hitch in his breath when she brushed her hand over him and started teasing him. He kissed her harder and pushed into her hand, desperate for more and for anything that she would give him.

She took a moment to simply bask in the fact that all of this was happening and that he wanted her, her touch and her body. And there was not a modicum of doubt that he wanted those things badly.

He broke the kiss when he felt her smile against his lips. He looked at her with a mixture of curiosity and need and asked, "What's so funny?"

"That you're still not naked," she lied. She wasn't a great liar, but if this was going to be a regular thing between them, she was going to have to get used to it.

"I've been waiting for you to fix that," he replied with a touch of a grin, and she answered him by pushing him to lay on his back and doing exactly as he suggested.

And then just a few seconds later, her best friend was finally lying naked in her bed and she was on top of him. He was achingly hard underneath her, watching her eyes soak up everything from his beautifully wrecked hair to his own flushed cheeks, the shallow heaving of his impressive chest and the sight of fully bare thighs that she had long admired when he'd wear his tighter pairs of jeans, and then there was also... well.

"Is it true what Nat said earlier?"

Summer's eyes flashed up to Bucky's after his voice broke her momentary trance. He smoothed his hands over her hips and she asked slightly cautiously, "About what?"

He gave her a look that made her stomach flip. "You know what about."

Feeling a little more courageous after what had transpired thus far, Summer lowered herself down over him, using her hands on his chest for support as she replied, "Would you rather I show you or tell you?"

The sheer, somewhat filthy delight in his face made her heart beat faster. "Damn, Summer. I really like this side of you." She flashed him a smile that was both shy and flirtatious before he pulled her close for a kiss, and after a moment spent chasing her tongue with his, he murmured against her lips, "Show me what else you can do with your mouth."

"Say please and I'll think about it." She couldn't believe the words coming out of her own mouth and she had no idea where this sudden courage of hers was coming from, but damn if she wasn't loving it.

He looked up at her in surprise and grinned. "Gonna make me beg for it?"

"It's probably about time somebody did," she replied, and that earned a short laugh out of him. His hands roamed all over her as they spoke, from her hips to her legs and back up again to smooth up and down her back. He couldn't keep his hands off of her, and she loved it.

"All right, all right," he relented, a grin playing on his lips as he tangled a hand in her hair and then positioned her head so that his lips were at her ear. His voice dropped into a rough purr that utterly slaughtered her. "Please, Summer, take my cock in your mouth. I know you want it as much as I do." He nipped at her ear and she moaned. "I bet your mouth's watering just thinking about it, isn't it?" His hands grasped her hips and ground them down against his own. "Just don't make me come, 'cause I wanna fuck you after for as long as I possibly can."

There were no words in the English language to describe what his words did to Summer. He turned her head and looked her in the eyes, and all she could do was stare at him and try not to whimper like she wanted to.

"Look at you," he murmured, still grinding slowly up against her while his hands held her in place. "I bet you could come like this, just from me talking dirty and you barely moving on me. What do you think?"

She was about to answer him and beg him to both shut up and never stop talking ever, but then one of his hands went between them and slipped between her legs. She sucked in a breath at the unexpected touch, biting her lip as she dropped her head next to his and rocked against his hand.

"Always knew you had a dirty side to you," he said, his voice in her ear driving her crazy and intensifying everything she was feeling. "You act so innocent all the time and you can't even curse properly, but then I can get you this wet just from telling you how much I wanna feel your mouth on me."

She let out a shaky moan and then arched her back a little, lifting up her head and shifting so that she was essentially riding his hand. This in turn gave him a fantastic view of her breasts, and he bit his lip as he watched her take what she needed from him. He couldn't help but lean up and tease one of her breasts with his mouth, licking and suckling until he lifted up his head and kissed her jaw before telling her, "You're so hot like this. Can't fucking wait to watch you ride my cock later."

That was all she needed to let go, her nails biting into his chest as she came with a gasp that turned into a moan as the pleasure crashed over her. He watched her greedily the whole time, only stopping the movements of his fingers once he knew it was over and and she was panting, slumped against him. He chuckled and pulled his hand away, kissing her forehead as she took a minute to pull herself together.

She had always known that he would be good, but... his unbearably filthy mouth was not something that she had anticipated. And she absolutely, unequivocally and deeply loved every last bit of it.

By the time that she lifted her head to look at him in a blissful daze, eyes tripping over his perfect lips and his tongue as it darted out to lick them, up to his eyes that were both wild with desire and light with amusement, there was only one thing that Summer wanted to do. And she wasn't about to let him distract her again.

He leaned up to kiss her, wrapping his arms around her as if he planned on flipping them so that he was on top. She pushed him back down with a hand on his chest, breaking their kiss as she watched his eyes pop open and look at her questioningly.

"My turn now," she told him simply, and she'd never forget the way that his eyes darkened with anticipation. She dropped her head down and pressed a kiss to the center of his chest, and she took her sweet time covering nearly every inch of him with her lips as she slowly made her way down. He watched her all the while, never taking his eyes off of her and holding her hair out of her face so that he could see every point of contact between her mouth and his skin. But he hadn't seen anything yet.

The truth was, she did enjoy the act of what she was about to do. She had been told more than once that she was quite good at it, and doing it made her feel a sense of power that she rarely got the chance to enjoy when it came to her previous encounters. The fact that she was about to do it to Bucky, after he had already made her fall apart twice and ended her lifelong deprivation of having a mouth on her... it all made her feel a bit nervous once the moment finally arrived.

Lying between his legs, she took him in her hand and looked up when he leaned up on his elbow, apparently not content to take what was coming while laying down. He reached towards her and stroked his thumb across her cheekbone, then gathered up her hair in both hands before wrapping its considerable length securely around his fist. She was glad for it, because at least now she wouldn't have to resort to porn star-worthy flips of her hair when it got in her face, but she knew the reason that he did it was so he could see everything and nothing would be obstructing his view.

He watched her hand as it stroked up and down a few times, his own hand resting in a fist at the back of her head, and then his gaze met hers. She felt like she would explode if she looked into his eyes for a single minute longer, so she closed her eyes and leaned forward to take him in her mouth.

It was only a matter of seconds before her nerves faded away completely, replaced with a confidence that was a result of the almost euphoric satisfaction she felt when he groaned, cursed and tightened his fist in her hair. That was when she gained the courage to peek up at him, and when she found him still staring at her with that incredible heat in his eyes and his jaw clenched, she drew back enough to shoot him a cheeky little smile before letting her tongue slip out and torture him a little. His brows furrowed and his mouth dropped open a little bit, and then when she closed her eyes and brought him back into the warmth of her mouth, he moaned in a way that left her aching all over again.

It wasn't long then before he sunk to his back, head hitting the pillows as a string of curses left his mouth. Falling into a steady, clearly effective rhythm, Summer put all of her energy and focus into driving the man she loved absolutely out of his mind. She followed his cues and repeated motions and techniques that made him pull more tightly on her hair or groan out a string of words that made almost zero sense, and nothing could quite convey just how satisfying it was to look up and see how wrecked he was.

Just before she knew that she'd have to stop so spare him a premature finish, he suddenly let go of her hair and then shot both of his hands on top of his head, fingers threading into his own hair as let out a strangled sort of moan. She peeked up to see him look down at her, her hair now a wild, dark curtain around her face, and the tension and pleasure etched on his face was almost too much for her to take. He was so pretty like that, and the fact that she was the cause of every single moan and roughly-groaned curse that left his mouth was enough to make her feel like she was on top of the world.

"Fuck, Summer, you're so fucking..." his words trailed off and became a noise that he let out through slightly gritted teeth. Her eyes closing again, she felt his hand return to her head and fingers slip through her hair more gently than she would have expected. Then he bit his lip and shut his own eyes, his head falling back and jaw going slack before he suddenly grasped her hair frantically and started to tug. "Stop, baby, stop, fucking -"

She pulled away the very moment his words reached her ears, and she couldn't help but smile as the extent of Bucky's distress became as clear as day. He was breathing hard, staring at her like he wanted to consume her, and every muscle in his body was so visibly tight and tensed that it came as no surprise when he shot up from the bed and had her laying underneath him again before she could so much as breathe.

He took her wrists and pinned her arms above her head, kissing her madly and making her head spin before groaning against her mouth, "You're fucking killing me."

She smiled and turned her head as he began peppering quick, desperate kisses along her jaw. "That was the idea."

His arm hooked behind her knee and brought it up over his hip, their bodies precariously close to being joined as he lifted his head and told her, "Took everything I had to make you stop. Your mouth, Summer... it's..." He trailed off and shook his head. "Fuck, I can't even think."

"Don't then," she said, using her legs as leverage to pull him closer and grind him against her.

"You ready?" he asked, hair falling into his face over his forehead and making him look at out of control as he felt. She nodded quickly, not a trace of anything but pure desire on her face, and then he shifted his hips until they were perfectly aligned. He looked her in the eyes, checking for her consent one last time, and she gave it in the form of a kiss she pressed to his lips after pulling his face down to hers.

She knew that he would never know what she felt in the moment that followed the kiss, when he looked her straight in the eyes and, his lips not even an inch from hers, slid inside of her with a rough exhale out of his mouth. It felt like the sole quiet moment in an otherwise chaotic and frantic night, and her heart sang despite the fact that she knew this wasn't supposed to be an emotional moment. It wasn't emotional for him, and she hadn't expected anything else, but for her... it was and always would be so much more than a simple and uncomplicated meeting of needs.

He gave her a moment to adjust to the intrusion, moving once she began to squirm and wordlessly ask for more. Things were slow for only the first few seconds, until his forehead dropped against hers and he groaned, "Fuck, you feel good. So fucking tight..."

"That's good, right?" she asked breathlessly, unable to comprehend very much and simply trying to hold it together in the face of everything that she was experiencing.

"So good," he said, picking up the pace and kissing her neck. "So... fucking... good," he murmured, each word punctuated by a thrust of his hips. "We make a damn good fit."

She wished he wouldn't say things like that, but he was oblivious to her feelings and probably always would be. That was all right, though. It was better that way, because she would rather have him like this than not at all.

He was damn good at what he was doing. He knew how to tilt her hips and position her so that he could hit the right places, and when he started to get really into it, he reached up and grasped her headboard for support as started moving faster and deeper. She closed her eyes and met each thrust with one of her own, feeling the tension start to pool low in her belly, and just when she thought that they were both nearing their ends, he let go of the headboard and then flipped them over so that she was on top.

"I wanna watch you ride me, remember?" he said breathlessly in response to her momentarily bewildered expression, and even after all that had already transpired, he still managed to put a new blush on her face. He grinned at her and then took her hips in his hands, telling her, "Come on, baby."

Her palms balancing on his chest, she leaned forward and grinned back at him as she took control. She tortured him for a moment, moving so unbearably slowly that it was more of a tease than anything, making him squirm underneath her and stare pleadingly into her eyes. She copied his earlier move and took his wrists in her hands, moving his arms over his head as she leaned down and started moving faster. Her breasts dragged against his chest, back and forth with each roll of her hips, and she kissed him deeply and passionately while keeping his hands pinned above his head. She liked having all the power, but after a few moments, she missed the feeling of his hands on her body too much to keep it going. She released him, the moment she did, he sat up and crushed her to his chest.

She rode him like that, her hand buried in his hair and giving it a quick tug every now and then that would make him groan and thrust up into her harder. His hands would grasp at her breasts when she would lean back, his lips always following, and by the time his kisses reached their most desperate and his movements became ever more erratic, she found herself on the edge along with him.

He had one hand on the small of her back guiding her movements and the other cradling the back of her head as he kissed her with a new frantic passion. He broke away only to groan with his forehead leaned against hers, "You close, Summer?" She nodded, a little bewildered that he'd had to even ask, and then he held her tighter as he kissed her again and then said in a voice thick with need and failing control, "Come for me, baby."

She whimpered a little, that term of endearment still screwing with her head as much as it had an hour before. She kissed him with unhidden desperation, riding him harder and clinging to him like she'd lose her mind if she let go. He broke the kiss, panting and dragging his lips across her jaw as he told her one more time, "Come on, sweetheart, come for me..."

She fell apart with a shaky, careless moan, the clench of her body sending him spiraling with her. He buried his face in her neck and moaned out his end, biting her and sending one last little jolt of pleasure through her body and making her yelp softly. He held her almost painfully tightly through it all, not loosening his grip on her until the very end, when they were both spent and slightly delirious.

She hugged him close, leaning her head on his as he panted against her neck, and she ran her fingers affectionately through his hair. She kept her eyes closed, afraid to open them and let the moment pass them by. With every passing second, reality was creeping closer and without the passion of the moment to distract her, everything suddenly hit her full-force.

She quickly shoved all of those feelings back down where they belonged, so deeply hidden in her heart that even she could pretend they weren't there some days. But one thing that she couldn't ignore was her overwhelming desire to not let him go.

Unfortunately, however, she had to. He finally straightened up, raising his head and blowing out a long, tired breath as he opened his eyes and grinned at her. She smiled back, hoping to God that the words holy crap I love you so much weren't written on her face.

He kissed her lips softly, all of his previous passion replaced with satisfaction and contentment, and then he bumped his nose against hers affectionately and said, "God, you're amazing."

She smiled, her heart swelling at those words. "Yeah, well... you're..." She paused and shook her head, blushing faintly. "I don't think there are words for it."

"Glad I didn't disappoint then," he grinned. His hands slid down her sides, his eyes briefly skimming down her body and then back up again. "I definitely think we should do this again."

"Me too," she agreed despite the fact that she was screaming inside. But she couldn't go back now. She had dug her grave and now it was time to happily jump in and wait for Bucky to bury her alive.

He nodded. "I think it'll work fine. We keep this between us," he said, "and we only sleep with each other. Then if one of us meets someone we like, we end it, go back to normal."

She swallowed and nodded. "Yeah."

He nodded back. "It'll be simple. Easy." His eyes dropped down and a corner of his lips turned up in a half grin. "And really fucking hot."

And painful... torturous... probably ultimately disastrous, too, her brain very unhelpfully added. On the outside, however, she simply smiled and replied, "Definitely that."

He chuckled lightly, and then they were silent for a few moments. He glanced over her shoulder and then asked with a small smile, "Still want me to crash on the couch?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think you definitely earned a place in my bed tonight."

"Good," he grinned. "Because I was gonna say if not, I don't know what would earn me that."

She shook her head and slowly untangled herself from him, extricating herself from his lap and his arms to pull back the mildly destroyed covers on her bed. Once she had fixed those and then straightened up the pillows, she climbed under the sheets and then motioned for him to do the same.

It was nearly 4:30 in the morning, she realized as she pulled the covers up to her chest and Bucky settled in next to her. "Frick. I'm glad I don't have to work tomorrow."

"I do," he groaned, his head hitting the pillow next to hers rather heavily. She turned and looked at him as he shrugged and added, "Totally worth it, though."

She smiled and then asked before she could think better of it, "Is cuddling against the rules?"

He furrowed his brows and smiled at the same time. "Why would it be?"

"I don't know," she laughed. "I've never done this before, remember?"

He sighed and turned on his side, and she did the same as he moved closer to her. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, placing her back to his chest, and she closed her eyes as they both let out deep, tired breaths.

He kissed her neck softly and then asked, "Meet you in the shower in the morning?"

She giggled, her heart skipping at the thought of what sharing a shower with him might inevitably lead to. "As long as you make coffee after."

"Deal."

She chuckled again, her eyes staying closed and sleep starting to creep up on her. She didn't expect him to speak again before he drifted off himself, but his voice in her ear roused her when she was halfway to dreamland.

"Seriously though," he said, "don't fall in love with me."

Her eyes opened and it felt like a blade had just tried to jam its way between her ribs. In her half-asleep daze, she didn't realize that he was simply joking until he spoke again.

"Not that I'd blame you, because I am pretty good with my... well, everything, but..."

She made a scoffing sound and elbowed him as best as she could in their current position. "Go to sleep, Bucky. Or you're on your own in the shower tomorrow."

"Ouch," he chuckled, kissing the back of her shoulder. "Yes, ma'am."

She sighed and closed her eyes, but sleep didn't come so easily after that. She stayed awake for some time after he had fallen asleep himself, listening to the sound of him breathing and savoring the feeling of being in his arms. She was so much closer to having what she truly wanted than she had ever been before, but she still felt a million miles away.

This was probably going to end horribly badly, and she was well aware of that. She could only hide her feelings for so long, and once he found out about them, she would surely lose not only her new lover but also her longtime friend. It was the only real possibility that she could see, and yet she knew herself well enough to know that she would see the entire disaster through to the very end.

At least she would thoroughly enjoy herself along the way.