2 Gossip

Ygrainne & Lusha

[AN: I did, like, no research for this and the names were randomly generated. Lol.]

Nothing quite says a content afternoon of normalcy in Alfheim like afternoon tea with pixie videos in the background. But being the housewives they are, there is always something to gossip about whilst they sip on ruddy tea.

'I heard the strangest thing from my husband yesterday, Ygrainne.' Lusha gushed to her friend as she set down her fragile tea cup.

'And what is that, dear?' Ygrainne as she toyed with her teabag.

'You won't like it.' Lusha nattered.

'Then what's the point of telling me?' Ygrainne asked.

Her eyes like river stones narrowed on her friend suspiciously. For an Elf, Lusha was quite porky. 'Because it does involve you.' Lusha said as she blew on her tea. Wisps of steam rose up and she focused on them rather than her friend's murderously discerning eyes.

'Gossip? About me? Preposterous.' Ygrainne said.

'Well, it involves you from an indirect manner then.' Lusha said.

Ygrainne rolled her eyes. 'Indirect manner? Your husband would rather sleep than work. Why should I believe something you've heard from him?'

'Well, I've also heard it from other sources...' Lusha continued and she took a sip. Ygrainne looked as though she had a headache. She was beyond such mind games.

'Such as who then, Lusha?' Ygrainne asked.

'Elves such as Siouxie and Malon.' Lusha replied.

Ygrainne huffed. Siouxie was known as a soothsayer for a reason. Ygrainne supposed that she better have at this mysterious piece of gossip. She took a quick sip of her tea through pursed lips. Irritation festered in her grey eyes. 'Well, tell me then.' she said as she set down her fine china.

Lusha smiled apologetically and her eyes went elsewhere. 'Well,' she began with theatrics, 'I heard something strange about The-One-We-Don't-Tall-About.'

'We don't talk about him for a reason, why bring him into this? The abomination...' snarled Ygrainne.

'Well, it's just; apparently he's become something of a success- by association, of course, as if a disabled elf, imperfect as he is, could become a success by himself.' Lusha rambled.

Again, Ygrainne huffed. 'Get to the point already, dearest friend.' Ygrainne growled and Lusha looked like she could jump out of her luminescent, pale skin.

'Yes, of course, Ygrainne. Well, apparently the abomination has made friends with some very well-to-do Einherjar and Valkyrie – the son of Frey and the daughter of Loki respectively. As well as a dwarf, son of Freya, who is apparently running a very fashionable and popular boutique in Midgard? Anyways, apparently they stopped Fenrir from getting loose. It sounds all very farfetched. I personally don't believe it because all the rumours paint the abomination as some kind of hero who was remarked upon by Odin himself.'

Ygrainne followed Lusha's rambles. 'If you don't shorten this story to twenty words or less you can go watch pixie videos with your husband.' Ygrainne threatened.

'Oh, uh, yup – does that count? Okay, twenty words or less: your son – the abomination, not the noble of course – is gay for the dwarf. Well, I think – everyone thinks. No one is actually sure. Oops, I think went over and I still am going...'

The terms "glaring daggers" or "if looks could kill" do not suffice as an apt description for the fury that moulded Ygrainne's face. She couldn't believe it. It was completely and utterly unrealistic. Her "son" – the imperfect abomination – could not have had a helping hand in some kind of battle of the ages for the history books to remember. It was impossible.

Although, Ygrainne supposed, it was very fitting that her imperfect abomination would have imperfect sexuality.

'Please get out of my house. I do not appreciate this gossip.' Ygrainne snapped with fiery eyes.

'Um, yup, same time next week?' Lusha asked as she gathered her things. She was pale and jittery: completely intimidated by her friend.

'I suppose. If you make it up to me.' Ygrainne murmured through pursed lips.

[AN: So research points to homophobic beliefs in Norse mythology... If you were expecting related resolution in this fic, yeah, nah...]