WRITER'S NOTES: This chapter - and a couple after - do feature sexybits - awesome lesbian monster sexybits. So... you were warned, so don't yell at me. Also, most of what is written about sans here is CLEARLY SPECULATION. Don't take it too seriously! Again, just headcanon!

I started writing THIS, this silly, fluffy, smutty Alphyne ridiculousness, and I couldn't stop scribbling until I was close to 90 pages! Aaaah!

Obviously this takes place post-True Pacifist run, has lots of gay, and also has lots of emotion and stuff. Also note: this is my own stupid headcanon. I DON'T EXPECT ANYONE TO LIKE OR READ THIS X_X

Er, do let me know if anyone reads this. I'm rather shy about it... so yeah. I'll probably post all of it, regardless. I have no shame ^_^

Chapter One

Anime had never truly prepared Alphys for the reality of having a girlfriend. Even the ones that she (used to) keep hidden. But very quickly, she learned.

There were no points for trying to put it eloquently: though short, Alphys was definitely round and plump, but at this moment, it was she who was being squashed, whereas she had been told all her life that she was the one who would always squash. However, she was being squished not by flesh similar to her own, but by hard, scarred, and scaled muscles. And no matter how many times she woke up this way, she still hadn't gotten used to it.

Though this morning, she admitted it was very, very different.

Undyne lay sprawled over her, her arms wound tightly around Alphys's waist, her hold firm, even in sleep. Her head was resting upon Alphys's chest (admittedly a good pillow), between her breasts and over her heart, and one of her legs hooked around Alphys's legs. She was definitely in a full-bodied Undyne-hug.

Undyne snored. And drooled. And sometimes kicked and punched in her sleep. But Alphys didn't mind; she also snored and drooled, though she tended to curl up into a ball on her side rather than spread out like Undyne. They always started out on their own sides of the bed, Undyne either on her back and spread out, or holding Alphys to her. Alphys, in turn, stayed a ball on the other side, buried in far more blankets than Undyne – she tended to get colder easier. However, whenever Alphys awoke, she was usually still a ball, but Undyne was spread all over the bed quite comfortably. It had taken a bit to get used to, but Alphys found she wouldn't want it any other way.

Well, until she awoke this morning to this full-bodied hug. And a naked hug, no less. That was new. Brand-new.

About four months ago, Undyne expressed interest in moving to the Aboveground, still close to Mount Ebott but also close to the human population as well. At first, Alphys was dismayed, because she had loved having Undyne closer to Hotland. However, when Undyne, upon expressing her interest to Frisk, added, "And don't forget Alphy. There has to be room for her movies and books and stuff," Alphys suddenly went into a daze, understanding that not only did Undyne want to move to the Aboveground, but she wanted to move in with her.

It was rather amazing, though for anyone else it was a natural progression. They had been together for around eight months at that point, and while they spent as much time together as they could, there had been no talk of sharing a place, until Undyne just said it casually to Frisk that day.

Frisk took it in stride and showed them a few monster-friendly streets. Hand-in-hand, Undyne and Alphys followed Frisk to three houses, both instantly falling in love with the third one, a place Frisk called a "bungalow". With Frisk's help, they managed to get the place, and Undyne was so happy she practically sang. (She certainly played the piano happily enough.)

At this point, they had become very close. Undyne made it no secret that she found Alphys wonderful, and made a point to show it physically as well as emotionally and verbally. Alphys, though bad at all three (in her opinion), had also learnt to reciprocate, and pretty soon, it really did seem natural that they would move in together.

By the time they had both fully moved in, neither could imagine not sharing a room and bed, though at this point, neither was quite ready to progress to sex, yet. Undyne had, one afternoon, made a point to sit Alphys down and try to talk about it with her, which made them both realise how shy Undyne could be.

"Okay," Undyne said angrily, her face red and her hands on her knees. They sat on one side of their bed, facing each other; Undyne perched on the edge, while Alphys sat on her knees, her full attention on Undyne.

"Okay, so," she tried again. "Ugh." She rubbed her face, then blurted out the sentence Alphys never expected to hear from her: "I haven't… ever. You're the only person I've trusted to even touch me past hugs. You're the only person I'm ever going to trust. So, yeah…" She scowled, her blush deepening. "I haven't. Ever."

Alphys stared at her. While she had known that Undyne was usually too busy for normal relationships, her passion and ease with her own body made the scientist think that she actually had been intimate with others before, if not romantically, then casually. She realised, just then, the amount that Undyne actually trusted her with, and found herself unable to reply. Instead, she grabbed one of Undyne's hands into her own.

"Shut up," Undyne said grumpily. Alphys smiled. She hadn't even said anything, but she understood.

Then Undyne looked over at her, her scowl softening to something else, something Alphys rarely saw: shy worry. "But… you have, right? I mean, you're a few years older than me, right? So—,"

Alphys's derisive laughter cut off her words, bringing the scowl back. "Are you crazy?!" she snorted out, adding another of those laughs, the kind she used to laugh at herself before anyone else could. "Me? Have you even looked at me? Come on!"

Undyne glared at her, now. She reached out and grabbed Alphys's face between her hands, stopping the laughter. "Why else would I say these stupid, embarrassing things, Alphy?!" she demanded, shaking Alphys's head a little.

"T-to make me feel better?" Alphys admitted easily, trying to smile, though her face twitched a little.

"You stupid nerd!" Undyne answered sharply. "I'm telling you, because… I would like to… with you… someday… when we're both ready!" She was scarlet, now, her eye blazing. Before Alphys could say anything, she pulled her close and kissed her, and Alphys was a puddle at once.

"I…" she said, once she had breath. "I would like that, too…"

"Good!" Undyne snarled, then smiled fiercely, before kissing her again.

That was when they decided to learn more about each other's bodies, gradually, in order to ease into what they both wanted. Alphys loved this time with Undyne, discovering that, while there were some differences, Undyne's anatomy wasn't that varying from a human's, and her secret love of yuri prepared her rather nicely for that. Alphys, herself, wasn't too different, either, though her skin was tougher and her – what she called "hands-off" – places were a little harder to get to, protected by strong skin. Well, in most cases.

For example: Her breasts were not an issue. She knew, from her own explorations, how best to make them feel good. She had no idea, however, that when someone else – especially if that someone was Undyne, whom she melted for just from a look – touched them, with light fingers or a flick of a tongue, it was nothing like her own touch. Rather, it was intensified by at least five, and often left her half-awake as a result.

Undyne, in turn, she discovered, was ticklish. It was amusing at first, finding that it took very little to get her to shout and squirm away from tickling claws. However, when she used that information intimately, say, trailing her claws lightly up Undyne's neck, or sides, or yes, even her breasts, Undyne squirmed in a different way, and definitely didn't shout.

It was hard to believe that Alphys was able to do these kinds of things at all, let alone with Undyne. Every single time her eyes met Undyne's, she felt her heart skip and butterflies flood her stomach, especially when Undyne's eye warmed at the sight of her and she smiled that wide, slow grin. Pretty soon, however, Alphys found it harder to believe a time without Undyne in her life, and found she didn't ever want to.

It would only be four months later from buying that house that she would finally understand that Undyne felt the same way.

The night everything changed – or perhaps finally fell into place – they had been walking home from Grillby's surface location, holding hands as usual, in what Alphys thought was their usual comfortable silence. However, about two blocks away, Undyne suddenly stopped in her tracks. Alphys tripped into her, surprised, and was about to ask what was wrong, when suddenly Undyne pounced.

Undyne definitely liked to pounce on Alphys, surprising her randomly with enthusiastic hugs, kisses, and sometimes shocking (but always flattering) busy hands. She usually prefaced it with, "cuddle wrestling!" So when, this time, she hadn't said a word, Alphys was taken by surprise.

Only to have that surprise go into overdrive.

Alphys found herself backed into the nearest tree, Undyne's strong hands on her face and pulled up into a kiss, one so intense that she almost lost the ability to breathe. Undyne pressed right against her, leaving no space between their bodies, and when she did so, she made a sound against Alphys's lips that set her blood on fire: a keen of desperation. Alphys clung onto her, her arms going around Undyne's waist tightly, kissing back breathlessly.

In response, Undyne's hands slid down from her face to the front of her blouse, reaching beneath to trail her fingers up Alphys's sides slowly, a gesture they both knew made Alphys weak with desire. Coupled with how intense Undyne kissed her, Alphys was barely able to suppress a few sounds of her own, her claws digging into Undyne's back a little.

Then reality crashed in, and Alphys's eyes snapped open. She pulled away, though reluctantly, and said, voice hoarse, "Un-Undyne, wait…" Undyne buried her face into Alphys's neck in reply, biting gently, her hands now on her breasts, and Alphys's knees nearly gave out.

"No," Undyne hissed against her skin, her voice also raspy. "I-I can't wait anymore… I can't… I need… you, Alphy. Please…"

Alphys's eyes widened at this. Undyne, pleading with her? And about this, of all things? "W-wait," she stammered. "Y-you mean…?"

"Yes," Undyne whispered. "Please, Alphy. I can't…" She grazed her teeth over Alphys's neck again, and this time her knees did give out. "I can't be without you… I need… want… you, Alphy…"

Alphys nodded at once, her legs going around Undyne's waist without much hesitation or thought, merely for both balance and her own feelings, and Undyne groaned against her, pressing closer and holding Alphys to her tight. They both stood there, breathing hard, before Undyne growled out, "Home. Now."

From there, it was practically a race to get back home, Undyne almost dragging the half-delirious Alphys with her, legs still weak and heart racing. Once finally there, the moment the door was closed (kicked that way by Undyne), Alphys found Undyne back on her at once, kissing her in that same breathless, intense way, her deft fingers unbuttoning her blouse and pulling it off of her so quickly Alphys shivered. Her hands shook trying to pull Undyne's coat, then shirt, off, and Undyne jerked back and did the job herself with a growl, going a step further and first taking off her bra, then Alphys's, before grabbing her again into another kissing embrace.

They stumbled together towards their bedroom, marking their path with discarded clothes, both frantic now. Alphys had waited her whole life for this, and was finally here, and with Undyne – Undyne, her ultimate dream, who had proven to be so much more real than any dream, who was not perfect but was so much better for it.

They almost didn't make it to their bed, Alphys stumbling on Undyne's housecoat that had been left there the previous morning. She fell to the floor, and to her surprise, Undyne refused to let go, instead falling down with her. Alphys landed, winded, to find Undyne's fingers already snaking downward, her eye open and staring at Alphys's face eagerly, smiling, a haze of lust covering her gleaming eye. Alphys closed her eyes, grabbing Undyne's hips and pulling her closer, surprising Undyne into squeaking a little.

For a moment, it was nothing but kisses and touching, both tender and intimate, Undyne keeping Alphys pinned to the floor. Alphys was gasping, trying to form words. She managed to get out the word, "bed," only once, but Undyne understood, and before she could even blink, found herself picked up and pinned again, this time the soft bed cushioning her.

Undyne's fingers trailed down Alphys's side slowly, her other hand firmly behind Alphys's head, kissing her closely, her tongue already out and exploring against hers. Alphys made a long, drawn out noise then, one she didn't know she even could make, and her eyes rolled up, clutching at Undyne's hips hard. Undyne's eye gleamed, chuckling against Alphys's lips, her fingers continuing their trail so slow it threatened to drive Alphys absolutely crazy.

This wasn't new, as by this point, both had used their hands to explore each other, so when Undyne's hand slipped between her legs, Alphys was prepared for it, though of course she still squirmed beneath Undyne and grabbed onto her tightly. For several long, glorious moments, Alphys let her mind go, surrendering to the feel of Undyne, all of Undyne, everything familiar and dreamlike all at once.

It was for this reason that she missed Undyne's grin, and when she suddenly shifted, pulling her hand away, Alphys clutched at her desperately to bring her back, murmuring Undyne's name in a mess of syllables. Undyne said, her voice a little strained, "Trust me."

"With my life," Alphys burst out, unable to keep it in. Undyne, unknown to her, bit her lip at that, her eye wavering, touched to the core by those words. Knowing her words were probably useless, she moved herself closer, straddling one of Alphys's legs close, pressing one of her own between Alphys's.

At the contact, Alphys's eyes snapped open, and she make a noise akin to someone stepping on her tail. Undyne pressed close to her, kissing her again deeper, and Alphys kissed back, whimpering, especially when Undyne began to move against her, prompting her to do the same.

By this time, both were frantic, hands clutching at shoulders, claws tangling into long, loose hair. Alphys chanced to open her eyes, just as Undyne buried her face into her neck with a strangled cry of Alphys's name, seeing Undyne's face redden and her eye squeeze shut. Alphys held her close, relishing in her sounds, loving the feel of her body tensing against hers, the sound of her name a desperate cry of passion…

Undyne paused, limp and senseless atop Alphys for several moments, shuddering with aftershock. Alphys shut her eyes tight, taking the time to catch her breath. She felt Undyne's heart racing against hers, and she reached up, her hands limply stroking Undyne's hair gently.

Until, suddenly, Undyne pushed in close, and ground her leg against Alphys again. Once more, she jolted with a muffled cry, her claws getting tangled in Undyne's hair, but instead of minding this, Undyne merely grinned. Alphys opened her eyes and saw her already staring back, her eye rimmed with black and sparking.

"Your turn," she said, before kissing her hard. Alphys's claws dug into her back, perhaps a bit too hard, but Undyne merely licked her lips and pushed closer. Another spike of white-hot pleasure stabbed into Alphys at that, and again she mumbled incoherently against Undyne's lips.

It didn't usually happen this quickly. Alphys knew that about herself, and eventually so did Undyne, but this was incredibly different. Between being kissed, being pinned and held tightly no matter how hard she squirmed, and the feel of Undyne's knee against her, she knew it wouldn't be long, now.

She was right. It only took another minute or so before she came, clutching at Undyne so hard Undyne's breath escaped her in a small, surprised puff. Alphys bit down on her bottom lip hard, though she still ended up crying out, anyway. She didn't care; all she could feel was Undyne, and the pleasure she gave, and that mattered more than anything else.

For a while, she was boneless beneath Undyne, as the former guard gently kissed down her neck, her hands cupping Alphys's face gently. Both were breathless, now, though Alphys was limp as well, shaking a little. Soon, her breathing slowed, and she reached up, pulling Undyne's face to hers, and kissed her. Undyne kissed her back, and she smiled, already feeling sleep tug at her.

Undyne noticed and very slowly slid beside her, keeping close. Alphys immediately curled against her, resting her face in the crook of her neck, one hand against her chest, the other reaching up to stroke Undyne's tangled, sweaty hair from her forehead. Undyne sighed deeply, still smiling, wrapping her strong arms around Alphys tight.

Alphys listened to Undyne's heart slow gradually, and she felt slumber curl up around her. She opened her eyes and looked up with blurred vision to see Undyne already drifting off. Moving closer, Alphys whispered into her shoulder, figuring that Undyne was already asleep and thus it was safe to say it: "I love you… so much, Undyne…"

And she dropped into sleep, for once not having nightmares.

Undyne's drool upon her chest felt weird, oddly warm but as if it could barely be felt. Alphys was still trapped in an awkward sideways position on her back, trapped by muscle. She shifted a bit, trying to get loose without waking Undyne in order to call in breakfast, and she had left her phone in her pants, which were definitely not in the room with her.

The moment she started moving, Undyne shifted closer, murmuring something Alphys didn't catch. She was frowning, almost pouting, her hair partially obscuring her sleeping face.

Alphys sighed, listening to the birds outside chirping to greet the morning sun that slowly rose above them. She was bemused by Undyne's sleeping insistence to keep her by – usually she slept heavily enough to not notice Alphys leaving the bed. She hesitated, but she was very hungry by now, and she figured Undyne was still too asleep to care like usual, so she resumed her attempt to escape.

When she was halfway free, Undyne suddenly murmured, "No… Alphy, don't go…"

She looked and saw that Undyne's eye was open, either awake or caught in that twilight sleep, the kind that made it seem like the person was awake, but later would remember nothing. When Alphys noticed Undyne's eye looked dark and glazed with sleep, not even noticing that her chin was damp, still, she knew it was the latter.

She looked quite worried. When she bit her lip, Alphys scooted back to her, now positive that Undyne was still asleep – and thus confused. Alphys hugged her close, and Undyne snuggled in her arms, her fingers digging into Alphys's shoulder. "I'm here," Alphys said gently.

"…was scared," Undyne admitted, voice slurred with slumber. "…thought you were leaving because…" she trailed off, her eye slowly blinking closed for a moment, before opening again halfway.

"I was leaving, but for food," Alphys said softly, her claws stroking Undyne's hair and absently untangling the knots. "Why did that scare you?" She smiled, unable to help adding, "You hold my heart in your hands. If I leave, I'll always come back, okay?"

Undyne sighed deeply, relaxing a little. With her eye closed, now, she whispered, "…forgot to ask before…"

Alphys blinked, then jolted when she felt Undyne's hand lazily cup around one of her breasts. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling, butterflies again having a party in her stomach, but in a good way. "Ask me what, before what?" she asked, not expecting an answer.

"…to marry me… before making love to you…"

Alphys's whole body went hot in shock, her claws freezing in mid-stroke. At this, she was absolutely positive that Undyne was indeed sleep-talking, and probably had no idea what she was saying – nor would she ever remember. It still shocked Alphys, hearing those words, especially coming from Undyne.

"Why would that make me leave you, other than to get us breakfast?" Alphys wondered gently. "We're fine. Y-you can ask me later, o-okay?" She blushed, almost wishing Undyne was actually awake.

"…kay."

"I'm going to go call in breakfast at Grillby's, okay?"

Undyne nodded, her breathing already heavy. "Mm," she answered. Alphys decided to take this as an okay, kissing Undyne's cheek gently before freeing herself. Undyne, this time, didn't fight back, and when Alphys was off the bed, Undyne stayed on her side, eyes closed – already back to sleep.

Alphys stood there, gazing at her for a moment with a hand on her cheek, smiling. Then, she grabbed her robe (a twin to the one Undyne had, only hers was blue with yellow spots, and Undyne's was yellow with blue spots. Both had been a housewarming gift from Frisk.), shrugged it on, and, with a final look to Undyne, left the room.

With shaky legs, Alphys walked back to the hallway, finding her pants somewhere between the bedroom and the door. She grabbed her phone from them, her claws already reaching the app for Grillby's and automatically typing in the order. When finished, she closed the app – and stopped, realising her phone was full of text messages.

Confused, she read them.

"My dear, you and Undyne have all of my love. Do enjoy swimming with your dear fish." That was Toriel. Obviously.

"Uh, congrats. Am I supposed to get you presents?" This was Asgore.

"FORGIVE ME, BUT I HAD TO CONGRATULATE YOU, DOCTOR, THOUGH I WISH YOU HAD ASKED ME TO COOK BOTH OF YOU DINNER. CAN I STILL DO SO?" Papyrus sent this, with a picture of his latest attempt at spaghetti.

"Yay! Congrats!" Frisk sent this, with animated emoticons of dancing hearts.

"THOUGH RATHER NAUSEATING TO WATCH, I STILL WISH YOU BOTH MANY MORE YEARS." That was Mettaton. (She later regretted not answering this text in her confusion; it would come back to haunt her.)

"Wait…" Alphys said aloud without realising, her claws shaking as they danced over the screen, pulling up the calendar. Her other hand was over her mouth at once, stifling a cry of shock. The day was highlighted, with a note: "A year since we kissed on the beach. This is the day. NOTE TO SELF: wear extra deodorant, wear best dress."

And it was supposed to me, she realised with dawning shock. In their sudden rush of passion, she had allowed it to slip her mind, though with a blush she remembered her plans for this very day, planning to… planning to…

But she hadn't told anyone she had made a note of the day, let alone planned to make it special, not even Undyne.

Wait. Undyne…?

She raced back to the bedroom, and Undyne was propped up on her side, cheek on hand, wide awake and grinning. Alphys froze in the doorway, her grip on her phone tightening. There wasn't a trace of sleep left on Undyne's face, and she suddenly realised that she had been seamlessly – and rather willingly – conned.

Undyne sat up, slid from the bed to her feet, and walked to Alphys, reaching down and pulling the phone from her hand. She placed it on the dresser and smiled down at Alphys, who was staring, blushing, into her eye. (Undyne didn't bother putting her own housecoat on; Alphys had learnt rather quickly how comfortable she was with her nudity – and Alphys's as well. Case-in-point: the moment she saw Alphys was robed, she pouted a little before speaking again.) Undyne reached down and held both of Alphys's hands in hers, smiling widely.

"Happy First Anniversary, Alphy," she said gently.

Alphys was already in tears. Not only had Undyne remembered, but had apparently told everyone else. "U-Undyne, I…" she stammered, barely able to form words, let alone sentences. There was a light deep within Undyne's eye, one she hadn't seen before but kept her entranced, almost afraid to give it a name.

She didn't have to. Undyne squeezed her hands tight and said, rather cheerfully, "Also, I love you, too."

"Y-you heard that?!" Alphys squeaked out. She had planned to confess her love today, over a romantic dinner to mark the day, and not in a post-coital haze when she thought Undyne was already asleep.

Undyne laughed happily. "Of course I did! You always forget: if I'm not snoring or drooling, I'm not asleep yet."

Alphys stared at her. Then her eyes widened, feeling light-headed. "W-wait…" she said slowly. "J-just now, before I…" Her words trailed of when Undyne nodded, her smile so wide it was rather toothy.

When she dropped to her knees, Alphys stopped breathing. Undyne's hair was still loose, falling over her shoulders and chest like a fiery waterfall. "Like this, right?" she wondered, beaming at her.

Alphys gulped, her heart pounding. "I-I-I…" she tried, before shutting up, her whole body breaking into a shocked sweat.

"I meant what I said," Undyne said gently, pulling one of Alphys's hands to her lips and kissing it gently, before going on. "I meant to ask you before we made love, but…" Her smile turned shy, looking away for a moment, blushing. "Well." She met Alphys's gaze again. "So… Alphy, wanna get ma—,"

Alphys leapt at her before she could finish, throwing her arms around Undyne's neck and hugging her so hard Undyne's laugh was a little choked. Immediately, Alphys's tears ran down her cheeks, crying out, "Of course, yes, of course, are you nuts?!"

Undyne hugged her back tightly, burying her face into Alphys's neck. To her surprise, she felt that Undyne's eye and cheeks were wet. "Yeah, I'm nuts, Alphy," Undyne said, her laugh a little teary. "About you, my squirrel."

Alphys laughed and cried at the same time, the pun so bad it was perfect, unable to resist forcing all of her weight against Undyne and forcing her to fall backwards, pinning her beneath. Both were crying now, and they kissed, their first kiss towards another future.

By the time Alphys's phone rang (Grillby's, she knew; the confirmation call for her order.), they were both still on the floor, gasping for breath, Alphys not remembering where she had thrown her robe. She opened her eyes, jolting back to herself, and Undyne sighed a little, clearly favouring Alphys over breakfast.

Undyne waited on the floor as Alphys took the call, confirming the order and getting an estimate on when it would be ready. "An hour," Alphys said once she hung up, sitting down on the floor beside Undyne again. "Can you wait that long, or should we have a snack?"

Undyne smiled at her widely, her tongue licking her lips slowly. Alphys stared at her, shocked at her body's instant reaction to such a simple gesture. "I need a snack," she said, her voice a little husky.

"Er…" Alphys hesitated. "We could have frozen yo—,"

"Nope," Undyne replied, reaching up and pulling her back down to the floor, kissing her again. Alphys kissed back, finally getting the joke, and she decided that this was a perfect way to use the time.

By the time they were both exhausted again, Alphys's phone rang. Alphys sighed, ignoring it. She didn't mind her breakfast becoming brunch.

"Gonna get it?" Undyne wondered, voice thick.

"No," Alphys replied. "Later. I-I wanted to tell you…" She blushed, and Undyne looked at her, smiling gently. "I-I didn't forget. I had to-today all planned out, to make it special. And I-I was going to ask you… too."

Undyne blushed, looking surprised. "You were? Really?"

"Oh!" Alphys laughed a little, waving her hand a bit. "N-not that… th-the… er…" She looked down, her hands getting tangled together. "Pro-proposal thing."

Undyne sat up in surprise, looking down at her. "You were? Seriously?" She smiled brightly. "Great minds do think alike, don't they? Though…" She scratched her cheek, looking away. "I guess I messed up all of our plans, huh? Including mine."

"What changed your mind?" Alphys wondered.

"You did," Undyne replied easily. "You were just so…" She smiled wider. "Just so…"

"What?" As far as Alphys knew, the entire night, she had acted her usual normal – meaning weird – self, unable to stop rambling on and on about the silliest things. Undyne had listened to her every word, watching her with a smile, her eye warm. "I was so what? Weird?"

Undyne reached down and grabbed Alphys's face in her hands, searching her face so closely, Alphys was frozen. "No, nerd," Undyne answered. "You were so… you, Alphy. Just you. I…" she smiled shyly. "I didn't want to wait another second, even if it meant screwing up all of my plans."

"Th-that's how I've felt, since the day I met you," Alphys blurted out without thinking. "I love you, for you being you."

To her surprise, Undyne teared up again, though her smile was bright and a little crooked. Keeping hold of Alphys's face, Undyne pulled her close and kissed her. Alphys didn't realise it, but she was crying, too.

It was rather amazing how long two monsters like them could go without food, if you thought about it. When Alphys's phone rang, it was only then that they remembered their hunger. When Alphys stood up to answer it quickly, Undyne's phone suddenly started ringing. Surprised, she got to her feet to get it.

Alphys was apologising over and over again to Grillby when Undyne came back. Grillby was so irritated by her tardiness that he actually said more than two sentences. During the call, Undyne stayed quiet, though her face was pulled into a scowl, clearly listening to something she did not like. Once Alphys hung up, Undyne noticed, and instantly began to talk.

"Okay, shut up, now," Undyne said, her voice hard. "I didn't ask you to cook because I didn't want to get food poisoning the night before my anniversary." She paused, and Alphys heard Papyrus's voice, though she couldn't make out the words. "Hey! Don't blame me for your lack of talent!"

Alphys waved a hand, catching her gaze, and pantomimed going to get their food. Undyne nodded, pouting a little when Alphys got dressed. Alphys waved to her again, and she waved back with a smile.

She walked in a kind of daze, always happy that they were only a ten-minute walk from Grillby's, located in a mall that catered to monsters (though that didn't mean humans didn't enjoy and spend time there.). It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun out and blazing on her shoulders in a gentle way that made her feel even happier.

She was definitely hungry now, though it was accompanied with an odd shakiness in her legs and stomach that she knew was not related to that hunger. She was smiling, though she didn't realise it, nor did she notice the slight skip in her walk, or how much taller she stood, instead of hunching like usual. She didn't feel like hiding anymore.

Undyne loved her. Was her lover. Even wanted to marry her…

She felt invincible, so much so that when she walked into Grillby's, the monsters there who knew her barely recognised her. When Grillby handed her the bag of food with a silent glower, she overpaid and spoke in a happy, lilting tone, actually giggling a little.

(After she left, Catty turned to Bratty and whispered, "Like, did Dr Alphys, like, just giggle or whatever?" When Bratty nodded, Catty then asked, "Do you, like, think she got lucky?"

"Catty!" Bratty exclaimed, carefully covering her snout with a manicured hand. "Are you high or something? Like that would ever happen. Have you been drinking, like, nail polish again or something?"

"Oh my god, Bratty! No more than usual!" Catty replied cheerfully, ending that conversation rather abruptly.)

The moment she opened the door, Alphys heard Undyne's voice. She was shouting into the phone – not very unusual when she spoke to Papyrus (one time, they actually held a contest over the phone to see how loud they could be before the phone's reception started to suffer.) However, her tone was sharper than usual, and Alphys paused for a moment.

"You can't expect me to give you a full schedule of my plans, Papyrus! And besides, they turned out for shit, anyway. This way is better!" She paused. "I SAY SO!"

Alphys sighed, deciding that it was probably best if she occupied herself with reheating their food over trying to intervene and make peace. It didn't work, anyway.

"Wait! What?! What did he just say? What did your lazy brother JUST SAY?!"

Alphys paused, not liking how angry Undyne sounded, now. This wasn't normal at all, and she wondered if she should be trying to help, after all.

"Put him on the phone. Put him on the phone, now. Now." A long pause, then, "Yeah, you! You lazy, freeloading, prickless bag of bones! Say that shit again, I dare you!" It was said in a sneering tone, one that clearly wasn't expecting an answer. Therefore, when she did get one, and it wasn't one she liked, her started shouting, only even louder, now, freezing Alphys in place.

"That's none of your damned business, and you know it." A pause. "Yes, I remember what I said! Yes, I meant it when I said it! But not now!" Another pause. "Stop. Stop. STOP. Stop saying it like that, you crass ass! STOP!"

Alphys turned, already making her way to the bedroom. Food could still wait. (Though she did quickly scarf down one of her pancakes, unable to resist.) When she reached the doorway, Undyne was sitting on the bed, one hand tangled into her hair, the other holding her phone tightly, so tight it shook. Her teeth were bared, and she was clearly furious.

Then, in a tone that Alphys had never heard before, Undyne suddenly leapt to her feet and screamed out the following: "It's none of your business and you know it, sans! Stop! Stop saying it like that! I know I did! I'm not saying it now, and I would never say it again!" She shut her eyes tight, her fingers pulling at her hair. "It's not! It's not some pointless fling! Do you ever listen to your brother?! Are you even listening to me?!" Suddenly, her eye blazed, a bright glint shimmering from beneath her eyepatch, and her face turned rather homicidal. "Listen to me! Listen! I am going to marry her, you asshole! Yes! Yes! Why?! Why would you ever think that of me now?!"

Her voice cracked suddenly, and Alphys rushed into the room, at her side instantly. She placed a hand on Undyne's shaking shoulder, stopping her pacing. Her eye flicked over to her, and Alphys said, as gently as possible, "Hang up, Undyne." By this time, Undyne was in enraged tears, her voice soaked in hurt. Wordlessly, instead of hanging up, Undyne shoved the phone at Alphys, before dropping back down onto the bed, covering her face with her hands, shoulders shaking.

Alphys felt anger lick up and down her blood at this. Though she and sans weren't close, they were still friends. However…

"What did you say to her?" she demanded of him.

A pause, then sans said, "alphys?"

"Who else?" she heard herself snap at him.

"are you alright?" he sounded odd when he asked. In the background, she heard Papyrus say, "SHE'S WITH UNDYNE! OF COURSE SHE IS!"

"He's right," Alphys agreed, her voice colder than Snowdin. "What did you say to Undyne, sans?"

Sans coughed, before saying, "i may have implied something poorly."

"Like what?"

Another cough. "that, based on a past discussion, she was merely using you for scale-polishing."

Alphys felt that hot anger flood her whole body, now. She was too angry to answer right away, which turned out fine, as Papyrus was saying in dismay, "MUST YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, BROTHER? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE DOCTOR AND UNDYNE ARE THE NUMBER-ONE SHIP ON THE UNDERNET?"

That was news that Alphys wished she could appreciate. Her eyes were on Undyne, who was still hunched over, head in hands.

Alphys gritted her teeth and said through them, "What exactly did you say to my fiancée, sans? And then explain why I shouldn't dismantle you the next time I see you."

There was silence on the other end, but Undyne's head jerked up in surprise, staring at Alphys as if she didn't recognise her.

"you've… never threatened me before," sans observed slowly.

"You've never crossed me before," she answered.

"that's… technically true, though it was Undyne you could say i crossed."

"No." To her own surprise, Alphys's voice was a growl. Her free hand was clenched, her claws digging into her palm. "No, no, no, no. It's the same thing, now. Tell me what you said to her, now."

"Alphy…" Undyne's voice was soft, but Alphys shook her head, assuming (incorrectly) that Undyne was trying to get her to calm down.

"i've known undyne longer than you have, doctor," sans was saying, his voice strangely calm. "when it comes to people, she loves, but never beyond platonically. i've kept my jaws shut for an entire year, but when my brother told me what undyne told him, i said that it was likely just scratching an itch that had never been there before, and would never itch again."

Alphys saw red at this. "Don't even try," she snapped. "You didn't say it that way. Let me guess: you said, for her, I was a 'fuck-and-chuck'?"

"AAAHH! IT'S FAR MORE VULGAR WHEN THE DOCTOR SAYS IT! I BARELY RECOGNISE HER!"

Undyne was staring at her, still, and when she said this, her face changed, and she wiped the tears from her face, her breaths slowing.

"hehe, well, you're smart, so of course you'd get the wording just right."

"And you think that's funny?!"

"nope, on the contrary. i'm worried about the both of you, especially you. everyone knows how sensitive you are, how you always wear your heart on your sleeve—,"

"No!" Alphys broke in furiously. "No, no! Don't use me as an excuse! You said it to hurt Undyne, and you meant to. Why?"

"you really want to hear it from me?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF CINNAMON BUNNIES!" There was the sound of the two brothers scuffling over the phone, before Papyrus clearly won and continued. "ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN, DR ALPHYS. SANS ONCE HAD A CONVERSATION WITH UNDYNE, IN WHICH SHE DISMISSED LOVE AND… UM… THE REST OF IT… FOR NERDS AND LOSERS WITH NO LIVES. BEFORE SHE MET YOU, OF COURSE." He paused, and Alphys kept quiet. "FOR REASONS ONLY KNOWN TO HIM, HE FELT THE NEED TO REMIND UNDYNE OF THIS, AS WELL AS HER… UNFORTUNATE WORDING. HE ALSO SAID THAT HE KNEW SHE HADN'T CHANGED, THOUGH EVEN I KNOW SHE HAS. AND HOW!" He said it cheerfully, and she could almost hear the smile in his voice. "I LOVE MY BROTHER…" A confused pause. "…WHO JUST VANISHED? OKAY… BUT HE IS KIND OF… LONG IN MEMORY, AND TENDS TO GET LOST IN IT. I, HOWEVER, WAS NOT CURSED WITH SUCH A PROBLEM, AND BARELY REMEMBER MY BREAKFASTS! NYEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!"

Alphys closed her eyes, the laugh oddly calming her. A touch to her shoulder jolted her eyes open, and Undyne was standing beside her, leaning close to listen along with her. "Thanks, Papyrus," Undyne said into the phone, her voice soft from shouting. "I'll kill your brother later, okay?"

"PLEASE TRY NOT TO. I DO NEED HIM, AFTER ALL."

"May I, then?" Alphys wondered, bringing a small smile to Undyne's lips. (Though Alphys wasn't really kidding.)

"NO, YOU MAY NOT. I'LL TRY TO TALK SENSE INTO HIM, BUT I DOUBT IT'LL WORK, AS HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME, DESPITE MY NOW OUTRANKING HIM. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MURDERING HIM UNTIL THEN."

Undyne finally laughed, and Alphys felt her anger uncoil from her gut, especially when she felt Undyne's arm go around her waist. Alphys handed Undyne back her phone with a smile, and she took it, though Alphys was still close enough to hear.

"Fine, fine, we'll try to contain ourselves," Undyne said, sounding like she felt better. With a brief exchange, she hung up.

Alphys looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry. F-For losing my temper…"

Undyne was shaking her head the moment she started talking, instead pulling her closer and kissing her, smiling brightly. "Forget it. Let's eat!"

Alphys stayed quiet while they ate. Undyne noticed, looking at her worriedly between bites, while Alphys merely pushed her food around, taking only a few bites. When she saw Undyne had finished, she got up and cleaned the table mechanically, though Undyne stayed in her seat, arms crossing over her chest and loosening her already loosely-tied robe. She watched Alphys clean up in silence.

It was only when Alphys stopped, hunching over the sink that Undyne got to her feet. "Alphy?" she said softly. She didn't turn around, instead trying to curl over the sink more, as if she could hide. Her chest hurt, and she put a hand there, shutting her eyes.

"Alphy? Are you okay?"

When she shook her head without thinking, Undyne walked over to her and slid her arms around Alphys's waist, resting her cheek on top of her head. "Tell me," she said gently.

Swallowing hard, trying to swallow her tears, she shook her head, her hand still over her chest.

"Alphy, please talk to me. Please?"

She hated that Undyne sounded so hurt, but she just couldn't talk yet. She knew if she tried, she'd just cry, but when Undyne again asked, she tried, anyway. "I…" She had barely gotten it out when the tears ran down her cheeks.

Undyne pulled her from the sink gently, turning her around and hugging her close. Alphys clung to her suddenly, gritting her teeth to stop the tears, but it was no use. So she tried again. "D-don't hate me, p-please…?" she managed, before she choked up.

"Alphy, what are you talking about?" Undyne wondered, rubbing her back slowly, her other hand reaching down to pull Alphys's hand from her chest. "Is… is it what sans said? Do you believe him, that… I…"

"No!" Alphys jolted to her full height, looking up at Undyne desperately. Her glasses were fogged up now, and she knew she looked a mess. "No, no! No! It's not… it's me…" She shut her eyes tight. "I… don't want y-you to be scared of m-me!"

"Scared of you…" Undyne looked bemused, now. "Scared of you?"

Alphys nodded. "I… I got so angry… I should have just sh-shut up! I ha-hate when I get that way!"

Undyne squeezed Alphys's hand tightly, her thumb gently rubbing over the top of her knuckles. Alphys relaxed, burying her face into Undyne's shoulder, still weeping, listening to Undyne's heartbeat.

"Alphy…" Undyne sighed her name. "You are such a nerd. I'm not scared of you! I'm proud of you!"

Alphys again jolted to her full height. "Wh-what?!"

Undyne pulled her close again, smiling. "I said I'm proud of you, weenie."

"F-for sounding cr-crazy?!"

Undyne laughed a bit. "That was a bonus, yes, but no. I'm proud because…" She hesitated. "You defended me. Us. And, you trust me. Enough to yell at sans, of all monsters."

Alphys stared at her, searching her face for any sign that this was a joke. There was none. "Of c-course I would! I-I don't care what you said! I care about what you say now!"

Undyne shut her eyes at this, resting her cheek back atop Alphys's head. She whispered, "Dammit, Alphy. I love you so freaking much. It feels like I always have, and always will…"

Alphys broke down completely then, sobbing so hard they both trembled from it. Undyne held her tight, unable to keep her own tears from falling, now.

Then, the doorbell rang.

Undyne looked up first, then Alphys. They looked as one to the door, then back at each other. Alphys was the only one actually dressed, whereas Undyne only wore her robe. "I'm dressed," she said, forcing a small smile. "I'll be right back."

When she answered the door, her body reacted before her brain could. As soon as she saw who it was, her face darkened and she slammed the door shut, as hard as she could. She stood there, claws out and shaking, glaring at the door as if she could destroy it with her tear-blurred glare.

"okay," said sans from the other side of it. "i deserved that."

Alphys snapped out, "You're damn right you did!" She flung the door open again, barely seeing him. He stood slouching, hands in his pockets, looking cheerfully miserable.

She had barely taken it all in when she reached out and slapped him.

That single gesture would never be forgotten, long after she and Undyne became dust. The fact was that Dr Alphys, the once Royal Scientist to King Asgore, seen only as a reclusive, naïve, shut-in wimp, had actually landed a physical blow on the most slippery of monsters that had ever known to exist. It was that, and not her past crimes, that guaranteed her immortality, that single loss of temper.

He staggered, actually turning in a half-circle before dropping down hard, his eyes becoming empty pits the moment the flat of her hand touched him. Though her claws were sharp, she did no visible harm to him, but it still must have at least been jarring. Her arm felt jarred, her hand hurting from his bony jaw.

Now on the ground, he shut his empty eyes, rubbing his jaw slowly. "And did I deserve that?" he wondered, his voice deep and almost – no, definitely – dangerous.

Alphys stood over him, shaking her hand a little, her anger still blazing. "Yes!" she said, her whole body shaking.

sans said nothing for a moment, then slowly pushed himself to his feet, hand still on his jaw. When he opened his eyes again, they were normal, as was his voice. "y'know, not many people do that and live," he said casually.

She slammed the door on him in response at once.

Undyne, who had taken the time to pull on a shirt and pants, was now at her side. She stood a bit behind Alphys, her loose hair tangled around her face, her eye huge with shock.

"Uh…" she said slowly. "Did… you just… slap sans?"

"He's lucky I didn't kill him!" was Alphys's acidic reply.

"i can still hear you."

Undyne grinned at the closed door, a hand on her hip. "I don't think she cares, bone-boy."

Alphys opened and closed her hand, trying to get the numbness out. Undyne took it in her free hand, pulling it to her lips and kissing each claw gently with a smile. Alphys felt herself blush a little, calming a bit, though still angry.

"You, Alphy…" Undyne's smile turned mischievous. "Are so hot right now." Alphys stared at her now, the angry slowly ebbing, noticing that again Undyne wore that expression she now recognised: pride.

"ugh, please don't. not until i've said what i need to and am long gone."

"Who says you've earned that right?!" Alphys exploded.

sans opened the door, and Alphys instantly moved to close it. Before she could, he shoved his slippered foot between him and the door, stopping it. For a moment, they stared at each other, Alphys enraged and sans wearing his perpetual grin – though his eyes looked wary and he still held his hand to his jaw.

"Hm…" A touch to her shoulder, and Undyne said softly, "Alphy? Let's hear him out, okay?"

Alphys looked at her, seeing the lingering hurt remaining in her eye, but the sincerity there was genuine. Alphys sighed and moved away from the door, and sans slunk in, beelining away from her as she closed the door behind him. She leaned against the door, arms crossed, and Undyne stood with her hands on her hips, both waiting for him to hurry up and talk. He was clearly uncomfortable, but neither Undyne nor Alphys felt like helping him.

"okay," said sans finally, holding up his hands, as if deflecting their glares. "i did deserve both of those reactions." When Undyne nodded at him (Alphys rolled her eyes), he looked at her. "but you did say that, undyne. and alphys is—,"

"What? Do tell me what I am," snapped Alphys.

Undyne nodded. "I'd like to know, too," she added.

"fine." He looked at them, his eyes narrowed. "fickle. you're fickle, both of you, in different ways. alphys remains closed off to the world despite being in it. you, undyne, remain reckless and careless even though there is no one left to fight. you're both going to destroy each other. i know it."

Both stared at him in silence. Undyne's face went lethal, but Alphys felt as if she'd been punched, the anger slowly being replaced by dismay. For her, the words felt far too real, as if he was taking her worst insecurities and lying them bare for all to see – and ridicule.

Suddenly, Undyne's hand clamped down onto Alphys's shoulder, startling her. She looked up, and saw that Undyne was grinning – her smile sharp and furious, yes, but real. Why?

"You stupid, bony bastard," she said, sounding cheerful and angry at once. "Have you not even accepted what just happened to you, now?" She leaned forward towards him, her teeth bared. "Too embarrassed?"

sans blinked at her for a moment, before something in his eyes clicked. He touched his jaw and looked away, silent, but obviously calculating.

"You made me cry, you prickless ass," Undyne added. "And you pissed Alphy off enough to make her actually hit you! And you really think people – especially us monsters – can't change?!" She laughed derisively. "I pity you, sans!"

Alphys stared up at her, those words calming her a bit.

sans looked at them, his pinpoint eyes searching their faces carefully, still calculating. There was something there that Alphys suddenly recognised, a kind of hopeless sadness, as if he knew something – or everything – none of them ever could; as if he could see things from all at once.

Something tugged at Alphys's memory, a name and a face, a face and a name for both a person and a weapon, but she couldn't place it, couldn't find that name…

"don't waste your pity," sans was saying, dragging her out of her confused reverie. "after all, i don't have a pity-uatary gland."

And he spread his arms in a shrug and winked.

"Is that your way of apologising?" Alphys wondered.

"yep." He held his hand out to her, surprising her. "i'm wrong. who knew? i sure as hell didn't."

Alphys hesitated, then took it. He actually shook hands with her, for real, with no jokes or "misplaced" whoopee cushions attached. He turned to Undyne and then offered her the same, and she grinned, shaking his hand so hard they heard his teeth rattling.

When sans let go and managed to focus his eyes again, he eyed them both. "you two really getting married?"

Alphys blushed a little, looking away, but Undyne grinned, nodding, holding up a victorious fist in the air. "We are, but you're not invited."

"hah!" sans snorted. "like that's ever stopped me." He turned to Alphys again, searching her face closely. She stared at him, finding herself standing taller under this scrutiny, and his eyes danced. "too bad. i never got to used my 'gillfriend' joke."

Undyne blushed angrily, but Alphys rolled her eyes again. "We're not going to throw you any more bones."

sans stared at her, then actually laughed. It was probably one of the few times anyone had heard him laugh for real, and it brought a smile to both Alphys's and Undyne's faces.

"well played, doctor," he concluded, saluting her. With a shrug, he walked past them down the hallway towards the back door. When they turned the corner to see where exactly he planned to go, he was already gone, the back door untouched.

"I would love to learn how to do that," Undyne admitted.

"Seems like it costs too much to be worth it," Alphys said seriously. Then, without another word, she turned to Undyne and hugged her tightly. Undyne hugged her tighter, her hair tickling Alphys's neck a little.

"Hey," Undyne said gently, breaking a long – but comfortable – silence. Alphys looked up at her, finding that Undyne looked at her with tenderness and warmth. Alphys smiled at her, feeling her heart practically blossoming within her from that warmth.

"Yes, Undyne?" she asked.

Undyne, in reply, kissed her. The perfect answer.