Who Are We Kidding?

Naruto was a being that loved to be teased, Kakashi found. Teased and touched until he comes and then repeated all over again. Over the last day and a half, the two of them had taken a great interest in finding out every little bit of each other's bodies, learning their favorites, discovering new ones. On one memorable occasion, Naruto topped Kakashi at his bidding, and even while enjoying the sensations, Kakashi still felt like he had absolute control over Naruto, who was a creature of pleasure foremost. Where Kakashi had lasting power, stamina, Naruto was all nerves and eagerness and shamelessness. The blonde didn't even seem to understand the social stigma that would call him a three second shooter, he knew what felt good and fell into it without any kind of doubt, and confident Kakashi would be there when he surfaced from pleasure.

Kakashi found it addicting. Ridiculously drool-worthy, and he suddenly understood why so many ninjas went power mad. If they felt like this, like his very touch was the touch of a god on a beautiful mortal like Naruto, then Kakashi felt a smidgeon of sympathy for the crazy assholes.

Of course, those crazy assholes went too far and threatened his village and then Kakashi was forced to put them down, but the motivation was probably similar. Kakashi was sure now that if anyone tried to take Naruto away from him, Kakashi would most likely suffer a mental breakdown and many people would die.

But that's just what a village gets with their elite shinobi.

Currently, Kakashi was dressed and ready to go and watching bemusedly as Naruto scrambled around his apartment like a headless chicken.

"Kakashi!" said blonde screeched, "where did you throw my pants?!"

Kakashi didn't bother answering, because Naruto just turned around and ran face first into said pair of pants hanging from Kakashi's ceiling fan. Feeling like a strange combination of stretched and tense, Kakashi mused that he probably used the sharingan a bit too much in their sexual escapades. The images for his spank bank were utterly worth a little chakra depletion though. Now however, Kakashi thought that they needed some fresh air, and a missive from the Hokage calling them both to a meeting was enough of a reason.

It would be nice, Kakashi realized. To go to lunch with Naruto, his new…something, without any intention of hiding their relationship. Kakashi wondered how long it would be until Sakura hunted him down for a gelding…or Iruka.

Finally, with a blonde who was dressed as much as he was able, since several articles of clothing were shredded beyond salvage, the two went to lunch. Ichiraku's, obviously, because Naruto whined he was going into withdrawal. Kakashi wasn't because the salt on Naruto's body tasted somewhat like ramen. He giggled perversely in the safety of his mind, but eye smiled when they were greeted jovially by Teuchi and his daughter.

Luckily, lunch was uninterrupted, and if Naruto sent a few besotted smiles Kakashi's way, and Kakashi's knee nudged over into his space, well, Teuchi and Ayame said nothing. Of course, Ayame's eyes sparkled, and Teuchi eyed Kakashi like a father would, but they said nothing and for that Kakashi was grateful.

He didn't know what he would say if someone point blank asked him if they were dating. He presumed that simply replying "He's MINE" wouldn't go over well.

It was later, in the Hokage's office that Kakashi realized how Naruto had utterly cracked him open, rearranged his insides, and sealed him back differently. He realized this, when Tsunade took one look at Naruto, who didn't look any different, then swung her eyes over to Kakashi as if he had brazenly written his name across the blonde's forehead. Kakashi stiffened, resisting the urge to check if he actually did, because Tsunade was amused, entertained, and warning him all at once.

But she didn't say anything. Naruto didn't notice anything, and Kakashi mourned his former unreadabiity. If Tsunade could take one look at Naruto and know that Kakashi had fucked him over and over and over, then who else could?

Everyone, really.

Sighing deeply, as he nursed a bottle of sake while the majority of the Rookie Nine plus Gai's team made complete drunken asses of themselves, Kakashi ignored raised eyebrows and expectant looks. Kurenai, damn her, was more amused than Tsunade had been, and had pressed the sake bottle into his hand nearly the instant he had arrived, tugged along by Naruto's invisible lure.

"Kiba!" said blonde screeched…again. The two were arm wrestling, but the former was cheating in surprisingly new and imaginative ways.

The Inuzuka crowed in laughter. "Come on Naruto! Gotta pay up or do a dare we think up!" Behind him, Sakura grinned unrepentantly, leaning heavily on an equally tipsy Tenten.

"Yeah Naruto. We haven't seen you for so long, it's definitely your turn. You missed it when Kiba had to streak naked through the Hyuuga's compound."

"Oi!" Kiba protested when Naruto started to cackle at the image. "Don't bring that up! It's Naruto's turn!"

Shaking his head, Kakashi avoided learning what his poor little love would be forced to do. He turned back to his sake and downed it through his mask, also ignoring how Genma and Gai leaned into him with leering smirks.

"Heard some interesting news from Anbu Hawk this morning. He happened to pass by your building twice in the past 24 hours." Kakashi hung his head. He knew he should have put up his silencing seals. But they're just so expensive and he figured that Naruto wouldn't be that loud right?

Nah, Kakashi mused with a dirty grin. He was lying to himself. Of course Naruto would be that loud, screaming his pleasure at the top of his impressive lungs. Kakashi counted on it.

"I bet he heard all sorts of things." Kakashi replied to his fellow jounins, refusing them the honor of seeing him flustered. "Loud things. Blonde things."

"So it's true!" Gai smacked a hand down on the bar gleefully.

"Yep." Kakashi answered.

Genma leaned further, "So you really did take the kid's—"

Naruto interrupted them, as he did usually with just the power of his voice.

"What! That's it!?" he was grinning wide and mischievously, as if he knew a secret the others didn't. "That's easy!"

Nonplussed, Kiba pressed onwards, "Don't be scared now, dead last, just a little geisha dance, yah? Right here, right now! Sai will give you some music." Said pale man blinked, but with the unsealing of a scroll was then holding a flute.

Naruto snorted, stood, and finished both his and Kiba's saucers of sake. His eyes were dark and dancing, his grin a little too close to confident for the others to feel comfortable. Sakura especially recognized it as the glimmer of a successful prank, but what prank was there?

"You guys probably don't know," Naruto started self-deprecatingly, pressing a falsely modest hand to his breast, "but I learned all sorts of things on that trip with Ero-sennin."

Then, Naruto didn't quite as much perform a henge as sort of morph. His clothing shimmered and his hair lengthened. There was no poof of smoke to indicate the jutsu, and no handseals, but in an instant where Naruto the young man had stood now stood a beautiful woman, blonde, whiskered, and wonderfully blessed in body. Dressed in an orange kimono with a plunging neckline and a loose obi that hinted and teased, she was all tan, all soft, and all gloriously Naruto despite her gender.

It wasn't the original Sexy-no-jutsu of his youth, but an honest to god's representation of what Naruto would have looked like female, with no boyish cheekiness, no grasping smoke. It was just her, and she was all woman.

Kakashi might have hemorrhaged, but so did everyone else in the bar. Sakura was trying to pick her jaw up from the ground and Kiba was fixed in his seat.

"Sai-kun" Naruto's voice was rich, melting like butter, "if you would?"

Ever impervious to such displays, Sai started to play his flute in a sensual rhythm, and Naruto stepped up onto the table. He was cocky, a little drunk, and as he lifted on slim foot to climb, they realized he, no, she was all naked beneath that kimono.

Her smile heavy and filled with perfect white teeth, Naruto grasped the skirt of her kimono, shifting it around her to display her slim little feet as she began to step and sway with the tune. She laughed, and the sound melded with the flute so beautifully, Kakashi couldn't distinguish where her voice began and ended. His gaze was fixed on her, and he struggled to raise his eyes from the delicateness of her feet and ankles – so tan, so cute, he wanted to put his teeth marks on them – but did when she lifted her arms over her head.

The front of her kimono gaped as she spun, her hands sinking into her hair, but Kakashi could catch sight of nothing but tan, even though he knew how pink Naruto's nipples were. Inhaling deeply, Kakashi fooled himself into thinking he could smell her other pinkness, the wet between her thighs, gloriously hidden but there all the same he knew it.

Naruto bent sinuously, moving like smoke above them all. This couldn't just be about the dare, because when Naruto turned her back to him and shrugged on slim shoulder so the kimono slipped just that little bit down, Kakashi knew that it was for him. A chance. Kiba was at her feet, still frozen in his chair. Genma was somewhere to his left, drooling. Sakura was as mesmerized as anyone else. Kakashi knew, intellectually, that there were some fifty shinobi in this bar, watching the same thing he was, and a small part of him rebelled at the thought.

Nobody else should see this. This was his. She was his. Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…

She turned and when Sai's flute died out, song finished, she was still humming something. Then she was hopping down and now Kakashi knew he could smell her arousal, she was wet, she much be for her to smell that beautifully fertile, the scent of woman, the scent coming closer.

Because Naruto was walking to Kakashi, blatantly staring, a smug smile coloring plum lips. Kakashi was witness to it when Naruto's full breasts seemed to diminish, shrinking into firm pecks and Naruto's face turned masculine yet again. He was still in that blasted orange kimono, looking just as decadent and indecent on a mal body as it did on a female one. It teased in just the right places, and when Naruto stepped between Kakashi's parted knees, the silver haired man could see hints of pink.

Fuck.

But, Kakashi's brain whirred, genius that it was it never stopped moving. He could still smell female wetness, Naruto's but that didn't make sense; a cock, though pretty, just doesn't get as dripping as a cunt does, but Naruto was just there and oh.

Whatever Naruto's transformation was, this physical body change, it hadn't been completed. Sure, he returned to the male Naruto they all could see, but below, below.

Fuck.

Fuck.

"I win!" Naruto quipped cheerfully, as if Kakashi wasn't sitting there incited and bristling like a wolf confronted with a breeding bitch.

Kakashi made a deep, deep noise, and lightning fast, had grabbed Naruto fiercely and disappeared in the most well-done shunshin anyone had ever seen.

Reappearing at home, Kakashi released Naruto and shakily brought his hands to that obi holding the kimono closed. Naruto, now pink-cheeked (getting embarrassed here and now instead of when he was flaunting it to his future shinobi force Kakashi could never understand), placed his hands on Kakashi's shoulders s the older man knelt.

Pushing and pulled the cloth off Naruto, as one would unravel a chocolate wrapped in gold, Kakashi took a deep breath in when Naruto's cunt was revealed.

Groaning, Kakashi fell into sin, delicious, pink, wet sin.

Naruto squealed something when Kakashi laid his tongue flatly against that pinked up cunt, licking up the sweetness that dripped from it. His fingertips prodding bruises into thin hips, Kakashi shouldered his way between Naruto's soft thighs and tilted his head to receive communion, looking up the flat panels of Naruto's body to find his shocked, drugged eyes. Naruto's body was seemingly stopped in its transformation, still soft and curvy yet flat chested and firm.

Teetering on his tip toes, Naruto could do nothing but lean his hands on Kakashi's shoulders and head, slowly crumbling over him like a tree weighted to heavily at the top. His trembled and jerked at each pass of Kakashi's tongue, nearly falling when teeth danced dangerously close to his clit.

Growling into Naruto's fucking pussy, Kakashi stood up, bearing Naruto up with him. The younger man gave a startled shout that landed on a whine, legs flailing, at the mercy of Kakashi's arms. Kakashi walked blindly the six steps to his bed, moving from Naruto's southern lips to smother his wet face in the blonde's thin, delicate stomach. The kimono fell around them both like a curtain, a shroud of sensuality and sex.

"Fuck, Kakashi, I want you, please" Naruto panted, even as Kakashi lowered him onto the bed, slowly and laden with meaning. The man's show of strength was spectacular, and Naruto was practically drooling, hyper focused on silver hair and mismatched eyes. He reached out and pulled at both headband and clothing, tugging and pulling futilely like a confused child.

"You want me?" Kakashi answered, licking his lips, stripping with half his mind while the rest resided in the V of Naruto's legs. "Want me in this beautiful girl cunt you have? This hole that you built specially for me?" Kakashi slapped three fingers over the brightness of said hole, causing Naruto to bite down on a yell and squirm, shocked and tormented at how much that hurt/felt so good.

"Yes." Naruto had his tongue out, one hand coming up to lick the pads of his fingers and rub over a hardened nipple, the other going down to spread a demented peace sign around his slit.

Kakashi shivered, finally kicking his damn pants off. It was a special thing to see Naruto – sweet, good, wholesome, loving, bright Naruto – drowning so deeply in lust and darkness. He was privileged and greedy, Kakashi knew, that this Naruto was only ever put on display for him. If there every came a time that Naruto didn't want him, Kakashi wasn't quite sure what he would do. Mass murder is generally frowned upon, and Kakashi would never do a thing to cause Naruto hurt or disappointment.

He was lucky, to have such a beautiful lover who loved getting fucked in both his girl's pussy and boy's pussy.

Reaching forward, Kakashi leaned over Naruto like a wraith and pushing his fingers up into the heat of Naruto's cunt, pushing up further and further until he swore he bumped into the end of it, the entrance to a womb.

"Gonna fuck you, bitch,' Kakashi hissed, dark and raging, "for flaunting what's mine to the whole damn village. I could smell how wet you were, with all their eyes on you. Did you want them?" he ground his palm over the overheated little bundle at the top, arm riding with Naruto when he stuttered and snapped his hips with the feeling.

"No!" Naruto practically screamed, grasping up at Kakashi, "it was you, I could feel you watching and I so wanted you right there, right on the table."

Groaning, Kakashi leaned forward and dragged his swollen cock over the place where he filled the boy, flickering his fingers within the other in a manner that shocked even him. It was like he had taken hold of every nerve in Naruto's body, because every move his fingers made, in and out, around and scissoring, Naruto reacted with his whole being. He came with a moan of Kakashi's name, twitching and moving and shuddering it out even whilst Kakashi barely let up. Chest heaving, Naruto tightened the grip his legs had around the other, taking the rest of his pleasure for the running shocks of his orgasm building up again to another, smaller, longer lasting one. Multiple orgasms, drenching ones by the feel of it, Kakashi kissed him through them all.

"On the table, huh?" Kakashi licked from his pinked mouth along his neck, using teeth and biting until it turned red. "Right there in front of them all, I should've." Lost in Naruto's wetness (his cunt, god fucking dammit, Naruto's cunt, his wet pussy-cunt just ready for cock), Kakashi let himself imagine it, removing his fingers and setting his cockhead at Naruto's opening, not pushing in. Naruto seized at his hand, locking their fingers together in his own slick and wrapped his legs around Kakashi, trying to urge him forwards.

He held strong though, staring into Naruto's eyes and forcing him to imagine the same thing he was.

"You took a step off that table and I was there, I wanted to be there, slamming you to your back and spreading those legs." Kakashi panted, inching forward despite himself, just to feel it wrap around his head. "The way you'd squeal when I got in you, howling like a bitch, open mouthed for everyone there to see. They'd know how you sound when I fuck you, how you slurp and slobber from both ends." Kakashi pressed his forearms to Naruto's shoulders and plunged in, drinking in the way his eyes widened at being pinned so thoroughly and penetrated so deeply at the same time.

"Hugurk" Naruto didn't seem to find any words, all the air burst out of him when Kakashi settled deeply, giving him no time to get used to being so full before he was already moving.

Kakashi hung his head to watch the way his cock spread Naruto's pussy lips, throbbing clit standing proud right there. He spat on it, watching how it slid and entered Naruto as he fucked him.

He was going insane with the feeling of it, and raised his eyes to find Naruto so close to coming again and himself not far behind.

"I wanted you to come apart, come because of me, and I wanted them all to see. All our peers, all our friends, seeing you coming on my cock and taking me seed like it was yours." Kakashi put his mouth right there next to Naruto's ear, wrapping him up and letting his last few slapping, deep thrusts take them both over the precipice.

"Your cunt is mine." Kakashi found himself saying, even as coherent thought deserted him and everything whited out except the way Naruto felt around him and his cock, how he grasped at where their hands were still entwined.

Kakashi stayed rooted inside Naruto until he could hear again, both of them breathing heavily, wrecked. When he pulled out, Kakashi hissed at how puffy he left Naruto's poor pussy, and watched amazed as whatever chakra transformation the boy had mastered shimmered and disappeared, morphing back into cock and balls and tight asshole. His love's cock was bright pink and seemingly ravaged, and a distant part of Kakashi's analytical mind wondered if the transfer of friction on the clitoris carried over onto the cock.

Whatever, for another time.

Heaving himself up, Kakashi cleaned them both up and lied back down, conscious all the time of Naruto's lidded eyes following him, fuzzy and docile as they were. A small pleased smile colored Naruto's beautiful lips, and Kakashi cuddled him close to get them both to sleep, petting Naruto's blonde hair and lax face until the blonde succumbed first. Falling asleep himself with his nose tucked behind a perfect tan ear, Kakashi was aware of how every inch of himself was touching Naruto in some way, and could have sworn that their hearts rattled together at the same beat.

If you were to ask anyone who was there at the bar that night, you'd hear that Hatake staked his claim over his bride right there on the bar. Others would say Uzumaki played a magnificent prank and probably got the fuck of his life out of it. Those close friends, though, would say that dammit Naruto, you have to stop destroying our bets like this. You don't have to win every single game of drink or dare. Dammit Naruto, way to one up all the rest of our sex lives.

If you were to ask Kakashi, well, he'd get a perverted grin on his face, remembering what he was privilege to enjoy that night. Their relationship was the gossip of the town for about four days. Now and then though, shinobi would think back and chew on their livers in jealously of that damned Hatake, lucky bastard. They'd think back and swallow heavily, sexualities confused, and wonder in the middle of the night.

Well, after years passed it wasn't really as much of a surprise that Naruto and Kakashi had gotten together. The surprise was more about their sex drives really: clearly, Kakashi wasn't a forever bachelor, happy with his books and Naruto wasn't the sweet angel untouched.

Ah, well. It goes without saying that Kakashi's apartment building cleared out for a while, until a well-meaning Hawk Anbu finally set up silencing seals.

00

COMPLETE. BAM. I expected more of myself, but this is what happened and that's that.