Author's Notes: Well, here we are everyone. Back to where it all began. I couldn't wait. I'm sorry. Truly I am. I didn't expect so much feedback in such a short amount of time. You all asked for it, so I'm going to make it so. This is where all the magic began, all those years ago. My very first story, and the very first crossover story between Deadpool and Naruto, something I am most proud to say was created by my own hands. It has been nearly SEVEN years now. Amazing, I know. And it is one of my most popular stories, too. But, as much as it's been praised, I feel you all deserve better than the frantic writings of a 15-year old Mr. Alaska, don't you? Now after seven years worth of improvement, I feel I should do my first creation justice and give it a COMPLETE reboot. Not to mention fixing all the unnecessary stuff in there, like all the needless bashing of Sasuke and Sakura. (Honestly, bashing those two was just a thing in stories when I began. I just hopped on the band-wagon.) So now, it will be done with integrity, as it should've been in the first place. I hope you all enjoy this version more than the first.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

'One Half of Deadpool's Brain'

'Other Half of Deadpool's Brain'

Chapter 1: The Chance Encounter

It was a seemingly quiet summer night in the village of Konoha. The sun had just barely sunk underneath the horizon when all of the street lights went on, illuminating the empty dirt roads below. The air was cool with a gentle breeze sweeping through the trees, accompanied by the sound of chirping birds and grasshoppers. Without the hustle and bustle of countless villagers cluttering the streets, all that was left was the calming sound of nature.

…. That was, until the sound of a panicky seven-year old Naruto Uzumaki broke the tranquil silence.

Covered in dirt, bruises and cuts, the poor boy ducked into a nearby alleyway and hid behind a garbage can. His ocean-blue eyes were glossed over with terrified tears as he bit down on his bottom lip, his whole body trembling. 'Why are they after me? I didn't do anything wrong,' the boy thought, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his head against his knees. It was at that time the sounds of multiple footsteps drew closer, belonging to a group of ten angry looking villagers. 'I don't even know them,' Naruto continued, cautiously looking from behind his hiding place to catch a glance at the men chasing him, who had stopped at the end of the alleyway, wondering where their victim had ran off to. 'All I asked was if any of them had anything I could eat. That's all…'

Naruto Uzumaki continued to bite down on his bottom lip, in an attempt to keep himself from crying. Clad in nothing but a dirty gray t-shirt, tattered shorts and sandals, Naruto sat against the bin, wondering why everyone hated him so much. It had been nearly two weeks since he had been kicked out of the orphanage. And in that time, Naruto had been chased off by angry villagers dozens of times, for reasons unknown to the orphan. All the adults looked down on him in either anger or disgust, and discouraged the other children from playing with him. Mere minutes before, all he did was ask a man for some food because he hadn't eaten in an entire day. And now? He was on being chased, once again, by a group of strangers who absolutely hated him for reasons the boy could not understand.

All he knew for sure was that he had heard people call him "Demon Child" more then a handful of times.

Was he a demon?

Unfortunately, right before the men were about continue onward, the boy leaned against the garbage can too hard. Without warning, it came tumbling forward and crashed against the ground, trash spraying everywhere. "There he is," shouted one of the men, pointing a finger at the startled Naruto. "In the alley! Don't let him get away!"

(Meanwhile)

Some blocks away a slender yet muscular man clad in a sleek red and black spandex costume made his way towards the center of Konoha, with a hand in his pocket and the other carrying a large gym-bag, the rubbery material of his odd attire squeaking ever so slightly as he did so. "… I'm not gonna lie… I'm having one SERIOUS case of deja vu right now," Deadpool mumbled to himself, scratching the back of his neck. The man looked back and forth, feeling a little uneasy. "I haven't been here before, have I? You'd think I'd remember a village full of fucking ninjas after all, right?"

'I still can't believe those guards actually bought that half-ass story,' a voice in his head brought up casually, bringing a smug grin to the mercenary's face.

'I know, right? What a couple of tools,' another voice laughed.

"Hehehe. Yeah, that was pretty clever on my end," Deadpool chuckled, putting his hand back in his pocket, twirling his large bag around his other arm. "I told you guys I'm good when put on the spot, haven't I? One of my most noticeable qualities."

'I'm pretty sure your healing factor and mental instability are your most noticeable qualities.'

'And being completely un-fuckable! Don't forget that one!'

'Not to mention your immaturity, lazy sense of humor, poor hy-!'

"Hey! C'mon now," Deadpool growled. "I said ONE of my noticeable qualities, didn't I? Jeez." Having completely forgotten about the feeling of deja vu, Deadpool continued to make his way down the empty street. "Anyway, if I understood that fortune cookie correctly," he continued, pulling out a crumpled up strip of paper, "all we have to do is "Look beyond what we see to find what we are looking for." Which iiiiiiis?"

'… Boobies.. '

'BOOBIES!'

"That's right," Deadpool confirmed, finally tossing the paper over his shoulder. "Boobies. Boobies that would be willing to allow us to motorboat them, despite looking like the inside of an asshole. It is a simple dream, but it is OUR dream, dammit! And with the help of wise Chinese fortune cookie, we shall achieve that dream!"

'Fortune cookies were invented in San Francisco, you dumbass.'

'Wow! Hold the phone, really?'

'Indeed.'

'No. Seriously. San Francisco?'

'Yup. Look it up. San Francisco…. But on an unrelated note, we need work. Going on this quest for cleavage wasn't exactly cheap, you know?'

'Yeah, we haven't killed anyone in a while. What's up with that? Money good!'

'… Indeed.. Money is in fact good.'

'That's what I just said.'

'I was just-!'

"Okay guys seriously, shut the fuck up. I think I see someone coming this way to further the plot," Deadpool interrupted, squinting into the distance. "Also it felt like that was just chapter filler, anyway." Looking down the street, Deadpool arched an eyebrow when he saw what looked like a bunch of grown men chasing after a child. A hurt child, at that. "What the fuck? Are you guys seeing this too, or am I just crazy?"

'To be fair, we're crazy either way. But yeah, we see it too.'

As Deadpool continued to walk towards them at an even pace, his eyes narrowed. But when they got within a few yards of him, he stopped and allowed them to come at him the rest of the way. The boy, who was more than a few paces ahead of his attackers, immediately got behind Deadpool and hid behind his legs, trembling. Deadpool looked down at him with a blank expression. "…. Umm… 'Sup?"

Naruto looked back up at him with pleading, tear-filled eyes. "Please help," the boy spoke, using a cracky and unnerved voice, clenching at Wade's leg as if his life depended on it… Which, to the orphan, very well might've been the case. "Th-they're trying t-to hurt me. B-but I didn't do anything wrong! I promise!"

Deadpool looked down at the frightened boy clenching at his calves before looking back at the men as they came to a stop about ten feet away, most brandishing thick sticks and rocks, with one even carrying an actual sword. Looking back down at the boy, he took a second to see just how hurt Naruto was. Scrapes on his knees and elbows along with cuts and bruises on his arm and legs. There was a good sized gash just underneath his left eye, a small stream of blood trickling from it. On his right cheek, there was a bruise that distinctly looked to belong to the back of a hand, with the impression of a wedding ring visible in the center.

As the boy continued to tremble, Wade let out a low groan, before flexing his neck back and forth. "Well, I guess we're doing this then," he sighed, dropping his gym-bag off to the side.

'Oooooh! Does this mean shit is about to go down?'

'Of course. He does have a soft spot for children, remember?'

'Like the time he refused to kill kid Apocalypse?'

'Precisely.'

'Daaaaaaw. You big softy.'

Ignoring the voices, Deadpool took a deep breath and gave the men across from him a tired look. He had a feeling he was going to have to play the hero, something he usually tried to avoid. It had rarely EVER paid off, and usually ended up biting him in the ass later on down the road. Not only that, but it seemed as if it was going to be for FREE, something else he wasn't all too fond of. But, this problem fell directly in his lap this go around, so simply ignoring it wasn't really an option.

Plus... Seriously? Ganging up on a kid? These guys were practically ASKING to get their teeth kicked in.

Crossing his arms across his chest, Deadpool's tired look turned into a stern frown as the men across from him continued to glare dangerously at the boy cowering behind him. "So, care to explain why I shouldn't make all your faces resemble famous Picasso paintings? Because to be honest, I'm kinda getting the urge to make some masterpieces, if you catch my meaning." He followed up by cracking his knuckles. "You get three strikes…"

'… Cracking your knuckles? Real original, pal.'

'You DO know we are a Deathstroke knock-off, right?'

'We ARE?! Ah shit!'

'Indeed, as much as it saddens me.'

"Shut up guys, I'm kinda doing a thing right now," Deadpool whispered out the side of his mouth, shoving both hands into his pockets. When it was made clear that the anti-hero wasn't going to step aside, the harsh looks that were being sent at Naruto were re-directed at him.

"Its none of your damn business, ya freak," one of the men growled, raising a middle finger at the mercenary.

'Strike one…'

"Yeah, this doesn't concern you," another added. "The brat's got this coming to him, so hand him over."

'Strike two!'

"Oh, on the contrary," Deadpool disagreed, wagging a finger back and forth at the men before him. "Ya see, I may not be the nicest guy around… In fact, I'm almost entirely positive that everyone I know wants me dead. But I've only been in this over-glorified bonsai garden for a couple minutes now, and what do I find? A bunch of assholes trying to curb stomp a kid, that's what. So yes, I would say this concerns me to quite an extent." With this, Deadpool reached behind and pulled out one of the swords attached to his back before wiggling his eyebrows. "So, either fill me in on why you want this brat dead or I'm going to go all Pablo on your asses."

"…" There was a moment of silence. Deadpool watched as the men all exchanged nervous looks from one another. He heard them whispering something amongst themselves, hearing the word "demon" specifically spoken amidst the murmurs. The mercenary glanced back down at Naruto, who still held fast his leg, eyes clenched shut and biting his bottom lip. "As we said," the man with the sword spoke, sounding stern. "This matter doesn't concern the likes of you, so just-!"

'Aaaaand strike three!'

"Oh thank God," Deadpool interrupted, sounding quite relieved and walking forward, breaking free of the boy's grip. "I was afraid I wouldn't get to completely wreck your guys' shit for a second there. But, seeing as how you are going out of your way to NOT answer my question, I won't have to feel bad about what I'm about to do to you."

When Deadpool drop into a stance, sword at the ready, all the men took in a sharp intake of air and took a step backwards. Seeing the mercenary's actions, the villager with the sword took a hard gulp and narrowed his eyes at Deadpool, even though his face was now drenched with a nervous sweat. A gentle breeze swept over them as the stand-off continued, with the men looking nervously at one another. But suddenly, Deadpool took a step forward, resulting in all men save for the one with the sword to step back.

"Time to make some art, boys," Deadpool said harshly, taking yet another step forward and tightening his grip.

But, almost immediately after Deadpool made his move, a sudden loud and furious sounding voice broke the tension of the fight that was about to unfold. "What is the meaning of this?" Stopping dead in his tracks, Deadpool and the men turned their attention to the top of a nearby building. Perched atop the rooftop stood an elderly man, clad in a large red and white robe, with a seething look plastered on his winkled face. Behind him stood five mysterious figures, all wearing the same gray armor and various kabuki-like animal masks.

"Sarutobi-jiichan!" As the old man and the men following him leapt from the building top to the ground below, Deadpool look back at the men who were after Naruto. To his confusion, all ten men all shared the same look of utter terror and immediately dropped to their knees, faces pressed against the ground.

"S-Sarutobi-sama!" Wade was about to say something when he heard the overjoyed voice of the boy behind him, immediately followed by said boy rushing past him and running up to the old man, embracing him. "Y-you're here!"

"Naruto-kun," the old man spoke softly, kneeling down to return the hug. Deadpool noted that the old man in question had an odd expression of utter confusion and relief. "What happened to you? Why are you hurt? Why aren't you at the orphanage?" Naruto didn't answer immediately. Too shaken up by the events taking place, the only thing the poor boy could do was bury his face into Sarutobi's chest, sniffling and trembling terribly. When it was clear he wasn't going to get an answer from the boy, he turned to Deadpool and the rest of the men.

"Explain," he demanded. "What is going on here?"

Seeing as how he wasn't going to have any fun, Deadpool sighed and slid his sword back into its sheath. "Not entirely sure, Mr. Miyagi," Deadpool replied, folding his arms across his chest and sending the attackers a suspicious raised eyebrow. "I was just minding my own business when I came across these cock-gobblers here trying to go all Purge on the brat there. They wanted me to hand him over, but, ya know, that wasn't happening. Something about the kid having it coming to him or whatever. They were pretty vague about it."

After hearing this, Sarutobi turned to the ten men in question, who had yet to look up from the ground. Seething, the old man turned to armored ninjas behind him. "Take them to Ibiki-sama immediately," he growled, snapping his fingers. "The cuts and bruises are all the proof I need. I'm sure he'll find a proper punishment for them." Simultaneously, all the Anbu bowed their heads. Before anyone knew it, they all disappeared in separate puffs of smoke. Seconds later, they reappeared behind the attackers and effortlessly struck everyone of them in the neck, rendering them motionless.

As the Anbu each threw two men over their shoulders and disappeared once again, Sarutobi looked back down at Naruto. "Naruto-kun… What happened? Why aren't you at the orphanage?"

Regaining a small amount of composure, the boy looked up at the Hokage with bloodshot, tear-filled eyes. "Th-they k-kicked me out t-two weeks ago," Naruto began, wiping the tears from his eyes. Sarutobi's body stiffened at this news. He had regularly visited the orphanage, mainly to check up on the late Fourth Hokage's son. However, he has been preoccupied with work lately, resulting in him not visiting in the previous three weeks. "I-I was hungry," Naruto continued, looking straight at the ground to avoid direct eye contact. "I haven't eaten anything in a day. I asked those men if they h-had something I could eat…. B-but they just started shouting at me. When I ran, they all started chasing after me."

Sarutobi let out a tired, yet irritated groan. 'I can't believe I allowed this to happen,' he thought mournfully, placing a gentle hand on Naruto's spiky yellow head. It was no secret that the village still haven't recovered from the incident seven years prior. So many had lost their lives trying to defend the village from Nine-Tails. However, regardless of what the demon had done, it was wrong to punish the boy for something he himself had no control of. 'Why can't they see that? Minato and Kushina sacrificed themselves to seal away the monster inside their own son, sparing the whole village. And this is how they repay the sacrifice they made? By turning their son into an outcast?'

"B-but that man saved me," Naruto added, pointing a shaking finger at Deadpool, who was in the process of scratching his backside. "He was gonna fight them."

"Yes, I saw that," Sarutobi said, a faint smile forming on his face. The old man then sent the smile at Deadpool, who stared back at him with a blank expression. "And for that, I am very grateful." Standing back up and with Naruto at his side, the two walked up to the mercenary, who simply continued to scratch himself. "My name is Hiruzen Sarutobi," he began, extending a friendly hand out to Wade. "I am the leader of this village."

"…. Deadpool," replied a hesitant Wade, before shaking Sarutobi's hand with the hand he used to scratch himself with. The old man didn't seem to mind, however. Though when his name caused the Hokage to give him a skeptical look, the mercenary rolled his eyes. "Wade Wilson," he corrected. "Deadpool is just my stage-name."

The Hokage gave Wade a nod of his head. "Well Wilson-san, is it safe to assume that you aren't from around here?" Sarutobi took a step back and started to scan up and down Deadpool's body, taking in the man's odd clothing.

'... Is it just me, or is this old guy checking us out?'

'He just looking at our costume, you imbecile… Albeit we do look good.'

'Yeah, those Shake Weights did wonders, didn't they? Everyone wants a piece of these +1 biceps!'

'Indeed.'

'But what is with this Wilson-SAN shit?'

'It's an honorific, you uncultured swine.'

"Yeah, you can say that," Wade replied, ignoring the voices in his head. "I was just passing through, looking for work. That's when I came across Whiskers here, about to be turned into road pizza." He motioned his head at Naruto.

"Work?" Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "Of what variety?"

'What? He doesn't know who we are? The NERVE!'

'We're in a different universe, you idiot. We aren't even from the same genre. Of course he doesn't know who we are.'

'THAT'S NO EXCUSE!'

'Really? Because that actually sounds like a pretty good excuse,' Deadpool joined in.

"I'm a mercenary," Wade clarified, reaching down and picking his gym-bag back up, before slinging it over one shoulder. "Assassinations. Escorts. Body-guarding. Covert-Ops. Sabotage. Stand-up comedian for birthday parties AND Bar Mitzvahs…" Sarutobi gave him a confused eyebrow raise. "What can I say? I try to be a Jack of all trades," Wade shrugged, hunching his shoulders defensively. "But since you're in charge of this place, I suppose you'd be the guy to ask. You think you'd be interested in my serv-!"

'Behind us…'

'SWORD!'

'Wha?'

"Die, you bastard," came a loud, savage cry.

It happened so fast. As if on instinct, Deadpool suddenly bent forward and nimbly dodged a swing from a katana sword. To everyone's surprise, the assailant was none other then one of the men from before, the one brandishing the sword. Placing both hands on the ground, Wade brought his legs in before pushing off with his arms, delivering two strong kicks to his attacker's chest.

"So I DO have Deadpool-senses," Wade laughed as he bounced back onto his feet, his attacker staggering backwards and trying to catch his breath. "You assholes just weren't helping me!"

'Our bad.'

'We just thought you didn't want that same handicap Spider-Man has, you know? Don't want you relying on us, now do we?'

"Good point," Deadpool sighed, pulling out one of his swords. "Still, it wouldn't hurt if you two started pulling your own weight for once."

'Noted.'

'Hear ya loud and clear, bossman.'

The Hokage immediately stepped in front of Naruto, a kunai knife sliding from his sleeves into both hands. 'How did he manage to escape my Anbu?" Sarutobi thought, eyeing the assailant with murderous intent. 'Not only that, but I didn't even hear him approach us… I must be getting rusty in my old age…'

"You damn demon-loving freak," the villager cursed, his whole body trembling with anger and glaring daggers at Deadpool. "It's your fault he still lives!" The man, literally frothing at the mouth with rage, charged at Deadpool once again.

"I got this," Deadpool called back to Sarutobi. "Consider this a free demo!"

'Demon? Is he talking about Shiklah?'

'Doubtful. We broke it off with her a while back, remember? Too possessive. I think he's referring to the boy.'

"My money is on the boy," Deadpool mumbled, sidestepping swing after swing of his attacker's sword. "Call it a hunch… Plus I've seen a lot of anime."

'This place is fun! Demon children, ninjas and sword-fighting! WOOHOO!'

'Verily. A virtual treasure-trove of everything Deadpool.'

"It's no Marvel," Deadpool pointed out, blocking another sword swing before following up with a head-butt, sending the man stumbling backwards, nursing a bloody and possibly broken nose. "But it has me interested, I'll give it that much."

It was at that point four of the five Anbu from before arrived at the scene. "There he is," one of them shouted, pulling out a shuriken and taking aim. "You won't get away again, scumbag!" The Anbu then sent the shuriken soaring towards the villager.

'I think they're going to steal our thunder.'

'NOOOOO!'

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Reaching out and grabbing the villager by the collar of his shirt, Deadpool pulled back and sent the man tumbling past him and out of the way of the thrown shuriken. "Silly rabbit, Trix are f-!"

SHINK!

However, in doing so, the shuriken continued on it's course and ended up getting lodged right in between Wade's eyes.

"…"

There was a long awkward silence after seeing the unexpected display. Sarutobi, Naruto, all the Anbu and even the attacking villager stared in disbelief, not fully registering what had just happened. No one moved a muscle or said a word. Deadpool himself, immediately after being struck by the shuriken, became stiff and motionless, his sword slowly dropping from his hand. Everyone watched as the mercenary stood there, his head craned back with the shuriken buried an entire blade's length into his skull, without collapsing.

Until…

"Aha! That'll teach you to try and steal my kill, ya vultures!" To everyone's amazement, Deadpool proceeded to laugh hysterically before he reached up and yanked the throwing star from his skull, blood spurting out from the now opened wound. Tossing the projectile to the ground, he turned to his attacker with a smug look. "And you see that? THAT'S why I always wear red," he chuckled, before reaching to his holster and pulling out a Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum Revolver, taking aim at the villager's head. "Call me X, because I'm gonna give it to ya."

"Wh-what?"

BANG!

With a thunderous bang that echoed throughout Konoha, the top half of the attacker's head was blown clear off, with blood, brain matter and skull fragments splattering across the ground. Twirling the .44 Magnum around his finger, he turned to the speechless Sarutobi with a sly grin before sliding the firearm back into its holster. "So, as far as first impressions go, how was that?"

'NAILED IT!'

'... Pretty sure we traumatized the kid, though...'

To Be Continued….

And there we have it. The first chapter redone. The first of many, I assure you. To be honest, it was refreshing writing this. A nice dose a nostalgia, you know? But as you can see, this is going to be FAR more in depth than the first attempt. It'll be more thought out. More explanation. Not as sloppy or hastily written. And, as I'm sure you can already tell, longer! As promised, I'm actually going to show a little integrity and try and give you all the story you deserved in the beginning. What did you think of Deadpool and his friends? If you played the game, I'm sure you'd get what it would sound like. And who all got the awesome references? I hope you liked the chapter, and hope to hear what you all think. :D