Chapter 1: Fury's Worst/Best Decision

Chapter Text

Prompt: Nerf War

This had to be either the stupidest or most genius idea anyone had ever had for a "team-and SHIELD-building-exercise" that they had ever tried. The Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division- the largest espionage, law enforcement, and anti-terrorism agency in the world- and the Avengers- often referred to as "Earth's Mightiest Heroes"-were out in some random forest in New York currently engaged in a full-out Nerf War. The rules were simple: if you got shot, you were out. Whoever shot the most players by the end of the game won.

For the record, this very inventive idea came from our very own Tony Stark, hence the reason that Nick Fury, director of SHIELD, had been somewhat reluctant to take up on the idea. It was only after Stark had gotten the support of Steve Rogers that Fury had agreed. It had been a low move, Tony had admitted, to use Steve's ability to make anyone agree to anything- he was convinced that Steve could take over the world if he wanted to- to get Fury to help him orchestrate this surprisingly competitive event.

Each Avenger was given a different set of Nerf bullets, specially designed by Tony Stark to indulge the team's competitive nature to allow them a way to "keep score" as they said. They were all given different bullets, Thor's being red with tiny little lightning bolts on them. Steve's were a light blue with little silver stars all over them. Sam Wilson's bullets were a goldish bronze with little red wings on them. Natasha ad black bullets with little red hourglasses plastered all over them, and Clint's were a rich purple color with little black bows and arrows. Bruce's were just plain green, but were the exact shade of green as the Hulk. Tony had made each bullet of his support its own rainbow. All of the SHIELD agents had standard issue yellow nerf bullets, but Tony ad gotten ahold of Fury's and Coulson's and had personalized them. He made Coulson's bullets red white and blue- in reference to his Captain America obsession- with little black sunglasses on them. Fury's were still the standard issue yellow, but had tiny eyepatches decorated all over.

A few junior agents as well as all of the SHIELD trainees were on civilian duty, making sure that no innocent bystanders got in the way. They all admitted that they were glad that they wouldn't be participating in what they were sure- with the Avengers involved- was going to be a bloodbath. And so, a whistle was heard, and everyone went to their positions. This was, they were all sure, going to be very interesting.

After a while it became increasingly harder to find any other players. Thor was already out of the game, having seen his anger firsthand at being the first one who got shot- and subsequently out- as well as not getting to shoot anyone else. As Thor stomped angrily off of the field, Natasha shot the agent who had nailed Thor. At first, the Avengers were a force to be reckoned with, watching each other's backs and fighting together as a team. Once they had taken out most of the SHIELD agents, however, Tony Stark had a second, brilliant idea: make the game a more interesting sort of free-for-all. Split up and fight against each other as well as the remaining SHIELD agents.

And that is how Tony Stark found himself alone in a random forest in upstate New York without his armor or team, armed with only has wits and a Nerf Gun. Warily creeping through the underbrush, he whipped around at the sound of a branch snapping. He sits there for a second, listening intently, and the crunch of a leaf is heard. Tony shoots into the thick leaves and silently cheers when he hears a familiar voice cursing. He laughs as Clint grumbles and stomps off the field.

Clint was the last player Tony had seen in awhile, having found a safe spot he was comfortable in and where nobody could come up behind him and he could easily see in all other directions, but people wouldn't get a glimpse of him until it was too late. After not seeing anyone in almost 20 minutes, however, Tony decided it was best to start moving. While creeping around, he was scared by passing animals and harassed by insects. It was all worth it when he spotted a certain blond Avenger, chuckling as he sneaked closer.

STEVE'S POV

Sneaking around was not as easy for Steve as one would think from watching or even hearing about him. The super soldier serum given to him all that time ago hadn't erased all of his innate clumsiness; however, if he focused hard enough, he could be relatively silent. Quietly cursing the brambles that snagged his trousers, he failed to hear the small crunch of leaves behind him, gasping violently as something- or someone- tackled him from behind. The person that tackled him flipped him around so that his back hit the ground and the person was hovering over him with their knees on either side of his body, ineffectively (because of the serum's strength) pinning Steve to the ground. A familiar chuckle reached Steve's ears as the gum he was holding was swatted out of his hands and his assailant's was pointed at his chest.

"Hello Tony." Steve's boyfriend smiled as he greeted him.

"Hey Steve." That familiar mischievous smirk settled onto Tony's face. "I thought you were supposed to have enhanced hearing because of the serum." Steve laughed at his lover's sarcastic tone. Secretly he was thrilled that Tony had snuck-up on him, because that meant that the genius had another edge if he was ever caught in a bad situation without the IronMan suit.

"I do. I'm genuinely surprised that you were able to sneak up on me. Good job."

"Don't patronize me Steve."

"I love you Tony."

"I love you too Steve."

"C'mere." Steve freed his hands and brought them to cradle the side of Tony's face as he pulled his lover down closer to him. Their lips met and they melted together, the kiss sweet and slow until one of them added a tongue into the mix. They laid there for what seemed like hours- in reality, it was only minutes- making out like two teenagers at a party. Steve pulled away so they both could take in some much needed air, grinning broadly at the man above him.

"I usually only get this view when you ride me." His grin got even wider when a light dust of red creeped up Tony's face not out of embarrassment, Steve knows, but out of lust. Steve felt a small pressure on his chest and he looked down to see a rainbow colored dart sticking to his chest. He looked up at Tony again to see the return of his famous mischievous smirk, now accompanied by a wink.

"All's fair in love and war," Tony chuckled as he whispered into Steve's ear, "and this is a little of both." The reference went right over Steve's head. (Headcannon that Tony Stark, although he hates magic in the real world, loves it in films and movies, and has an obsession with Harry Potter.)

"Well," Steve gently pushed Tony off of him and stood up, "I'm officially out of the game. Good luck babe." He helped his lover up and pecked him on the lips before walking towards the edge of the field where the other "losers" waited for him.

TONY'S POV

Tony didn't know how he had done it. He was pretty sure it had been pure, dumb luck. Walking through the woods with his gun held at the ready, he had somehow seen Natasha before she had seen him. She had been dispatching of a few SHIELD agents when he had found her and he had, on instinct, shot both her and the last SHIELD agent that she had been facing off with. She abruptly turned around after the bullet had hit her in the back, but when she saw Tony, the murderous glare left her eyes and a fond expression replaced it. She walked over and patted him on the back in congratulations before proudly walking off of the field.

It turns out that Natasha and the SHIELD agent had been the last players other that Tony because, soon after Natasha had left him, he got a call on his comms from Fury to leave the field as the game had ended. Tony made his way out of the woods and was met by a barrage of bullets hitting him, bursting into laughter when he saw that they all were from his fellow Avengers.

"Good job Stark." Fury clapped Tony on the back, a rainbow dart sticking to Fury's chest. "Not only did you take out most of your fellow Avengers as well as a good number of SHIELD agents, but you also took out Agent Coulson and I as well as being the last person standing. Nice job."