A/N: Italics are thoughts or emphasis on thoughts. Bold italics are lyrics.

I have to get out of here, out of my apartment. Everything here reminds me of Alex. We both agreed to give each other space. Who knows why! It was just the culmination of a stupid argument that ended with both of us stomping out of the restaurant, each of us too stubborn to follow the other. Over the next days, I refused to contact her and she certainly did not contact me. She is much too obstinate to give in first.

The longer I stay here the more I think. Of Alex. Of us. What we have. Or once had. The pain is too much. I don't know how we got here, or what we have become. But I know that this feeling is unbearable. I'm breaking. All I wanted was to love. I did love. I do love. But with Alex gone and only the memories we shared left, I need to escape this place that screams with memories of us. I can't take it anymore. I need something to wash away these thoughts. The pain. The lingering presence of Alex that somehow hasn't faded away, although the time between our separation is continuing to grow. She is still very much the thought that over powers my mind.

Alcohol.
The Cure.

I thought it was only a break.

I choose to catch a cab to The Beat, a dance bar we occasionally frequented. Isn't that ridiculous? A place that we visited. I wanted to get Alex out of my head. But this seemed like the perfect the place. The only place. Our place. I doubt she'd be there as she is always with her friends and this place is not really their type of place. This suits me just fine since I can come here and be alone. I can sweat out my frustrations on the dance floor. A place that I often danced with Alex.

I open the door to the very familiar place. Not gently, but with force, banging it open. I need to let go of this frustration. I don't waste time getting a drink. I walk inside, feet leading me straight to the dance floor just as the new song starts.

The beat kicks in. My hips started moving to the rhythm of the thumps. Fuck Alex.

See you walking 'round like it's a funeral
Not so serious, girl; why those feet cold?
We just getting started; don't you tip toe, tip toe

This is no damned funeral. I lived 25 years without the cocky, black haired woman. No funeral since she's gone. I spin around and around to the point of being dizzy, unbalanced. Without warning, hands find my hips, supporting me, steadying me. A body matches my motions. Gyrating around, my eyes skim over the faceless stranger, moving my body with the rhythm of hers.

Waste time with a masterpiece, don't waste time with a masterpiece
You should be rolling with me, you should be rolling with me
You're a real life fantasy, you're a real life fantasy
But you're moving so carefully; let's start living dangerously

It was all a blur, the dizziness. It wasn't until the woman in front of me comes into focus that I take in her features. It isn't Alex. A part of me wants to pull back, the side of me that was loyal and want to be dancing with Alex, not this stranger. But I have taken a break from the black haired woman. I lock my eyes with the person in front of me. Tall. Hispanic. A strikingly beautiful, almost alluring woman. To help me get over the thoughts of Alex. I dip my head, tossing my blonde hair around.

Talk to me, baby
I'm going blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa
Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean

Walk for me, baby
I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa
Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy
Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean

My thoughts drifted to the time Alex and I had gone to Cozumel for her birthday. We had a birthday party right there on the beach, just the two of us. Cake by the ocean, how apropos. Soon the melodies from this track fade into that of another and the woman disappears. I wipe the sweat from my brow and begin to walk absentmindedly towards the bar, just as I would when dancing with Alex. Like that, it was like the guilt instantly kicked in at that realization. I had just danced with a female that wasn't Alex.

I spin back around and return to the dance floor, close my eyes and begin to lose myself in the next song.

Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you

I love you so
Much more when you're not here
Watchin all the bad shows
Drinking all of my beer

Closing my eyes, I envision grasping Alex's shirt when we were in that restaurant and shouting these words to her. Pink always has a way of writing songs that express exactly how I feel.

Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight
I don't wanna wake up with another
But I don't wanna always wake up with you either

Shame rises in me as my thoughts shift to the striking woman with whom I danced the previous song. I don't want to get over Alex. To forget Alex. I want Alex. So why am I here, in this club? Oh yes, I remember.

Alcohol.
The Cure.

Abandoning the song, I head to the bar. The bartender and I make our exchange – money for drink. I knock a shot back and demand another. Grabbing a stool to steady myself, my eyes examine the crowd, scanning the crowded dance floor and the tables. What was I looking for? The Hispanic woman? Alex? Like an answer to my question, my movement stops and I have to look twice. Alex. Sitting at a table. My eyes instantly scan the table, taking note of who she is with. Nicky, Lorna and, pause. Our friends. Then my heart sinks as my gaze falls upon another figure. Another woman. I can't pull my eyes away as I watch on.

My eyes wide. My heart is beating fast. Watching them. Alex, and the mysterious woman laughing. With my friends. I should be there. Not her. Of course they are laughing. They are happy. Why wouldn't Alex be happy? It's been almost two weeks since we last spoke. I am miserable. And Alex? Alex is happy. Without me.

Is it selfish that I hoped Alex would be feeling like me? Hurt? Sad? But from my position it's the opposite. I see the happy Alex that I know so well. I want to see the glimmer in her eyes, the shine that I miss. I want Alex to be happy. But with me.

I don't think they can see me from where I am sitting, so I take advantage to watch them – a voyeur by any right. Alex has on this sheer purple blouse that matches her skin tone perfectly and is clingy in all the right places. It looks good on her. She has on her trademark black glasses, pushed up on top of her head. I don't know why she fucking wears them. I think it's just so she can look sexy when she flirts.

Damn! She's flirting. Or is she? I can't pull my eyes away. They are drawn to the red-headed stranger and her small action of pushing Alex's drink forward, encouraging Alex to drink by placing a manicured finger on Alex's arm. I see red, much like the color of the woman's long nails. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What kind of lesbian has long nails? I snicker, turning back to the bartender, I begin to dance again standing in place at the bar, pleased with my thought. Alex wouldn't like those long nails. Once again, I exchange money for booze. This time I get a whiskey chaser with my shot and make short work of the alcohol so I can feel again.

Alcohol.
The Cure.

The burn reminds me I'm alive and that something else can affect me other than my raven haired ex-girlfriend seducing a red-head. Ex-girlfriend? Where did that come from? Did we break up? I don't remember it, if we did. I thought we only needed some breathing room. FUCK.

I don't like having my back turned. I need to know what's happening. What Alex is doing. I turn back to slip back into spy mode, I see the red-head, who I now vehemently hate, trying to pull Alex off of her stool. Nicky and Lorna are laughing. I can imagine Nicky goading Alex, as well. "A dance won't hurt you Vause. We all know you want to dance." Nicky could piss me off sometimes. No matter how long I was in the picture, her loyalty was always with Alex. "Fuck her, too." But the sound of my drink being placed down catches me off guard. Then I realize, I had spoken the last words out-loud.

I can't pull my eyes away from their table. Watching the close contact of Alex and that bitch that has her hands all over her. My lover. She finally persuades Alex to the dance floor. Or does Alex go willingly? My eyes monitor every little form of movement, following Alex being lead to the dance floor by this woman. I detest this. I think. Honestly I don't know what I feel anymore.

I want to drink my cure, drink away the feelings so I don't have to ache so strongly watching Alex and this woman. But I want to be over there. On the dance floor. Is that because Alex is there now? Or because I am telling myself that I just want to enjoy myself? I don't need Alex. I drain my drink and decide to go to the other side of the dance floor and sweat it out.

I'm not going to watch Alex.

Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet she's around

The smoky blue lights flash across the crowd as I revolve around the floor in my own space. I see Alex dancing, her purple shirt which is changing hues in the lights.

Yeah, I know it's stupid
I just gotta see it for myself

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own
I keep dancing on my own

The lights change to red, and I see the woman grasp the blue open button down shirt Alex is wearing and slip her hands inside to feel Alex's white t-shirt.

I'm just gonna dance all night
I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line
Stilettos and broken bottles
I'm spinning around in circles

The lights fade to blue as I spin in my jersey style short skirt. Dancing to the lyrics of the music, spinning around in circles, avoiding broken bottles.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own
I keep dancing on my own

Lights flip back to the red smoky haze. I see Alex's black hair falling over her shoulders and her burgundy scoop neck pull-over kissing the other woman.

So far away but still so near
The lights go on, the music dies
But you don't see me standing here
I just came to say goodbye

Blue lights flash on me as I whirl, around and around. I'm just waiting for the song to end so I can get the hell out of here.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo
I keep dancing on my own
I keep dancing on my own

Red lights again spark as Alex turns the other woman and sees me. With a smirk plastered on her face, Alex closes her eyes and deepens the kiss. She knows how much I love that loose, blousy cotton shirt. She wears green well.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own
I keep dancing on my own

I'm out of the door. I can't face Alex and I can't wash away those images of Alex and that girl. I keep dancing on my own. Don't I know it?

I don't look back. The song fades in the background, like the distance between me and Alex. The door closes behind me. The fresh air hits me. I feel dizzy. But angry and I let go. I can't handle it. The tears fall down my cheeks as I track down a taxi.

There is only one place I want to be now.

I try to compose myself on the ride home, wiping away the tears. Why am I doing this? Alex doesn't care. She isn't thinking of me.

I'm better than this.

Better than that red-head.

And Alex.

Alex.

As much as I try to act strong, not bothered – I can't. I can't open my door quick enough as I burst into my apartment. So weak that I struggle to shut the door behind me. The tears I try to conceal burst out. The silence of the apartment fills with my sobs. I cry for Alex. For the pain of what I witnessed. For the hurt that she has caused.

Somehow, I drag my limp body to the couch. Clutching onto the blanket that still holds a faint smell of Alex. I let it all out. The tears. The pain. The hurt. How could she? My heart is breaking into a million pieces. The tears stream down my cheeks. I pull my knees up to my chest. Burying my head into my arms. The tears fall. My sobs cry out for help.

I'm broken.

All I did was love.

But the tapping at my door disturbs my sorrow. Just leave me alone. I try to ignore it. But it continues. So light. I barely hear it over my sobs.

"Piper, it's me. Can we talk?"

A/N: Lyrics

Cake by the Ocean – DNCE
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) – Pink
Dancing on my Own – Robyn