A/N: So, confession. I read The Mortal Instruments some time ago, so I don't remember an overwhelming amount. This is mostly based on the TV show. I apologize if the characters aren't quite true to the books, but I hope you enjoy regardless! Review are always welcome.

Alec checked his bedroom, but he wasn't there. He knew where he would inevitably find him. He wandered down the cold stone hallways until he reached the practice room. Jace had a punching bag in his grasp, and was letting lose everything he had on it. Sweat dripped down his arms as he released a punch which almost succeeded in knocking the bag off its chains. Alec subconsciously grasped his chest as he felt his heart racing, speeding up to match Jace's. He was hardly in battle, but he was clearly struggling with something. It wasn't like him to take anything this seriously, especially his training.

"Is everything alright?" Alec asked.

Jace stopped for a moment, taking a breath, then said, "Clary left me."

Alec wanted to be happy. This girl had caused so many problems for Jace, for their parabatai relationship. She had blown through the institution like a devastating storm, creating cracks and fissures in everything she touched. Alec and Jace had barely made it out still friends. He felt he could breathe easier, knowing she was gone. But the relief he felt was immediately overshadowed by the glimpse of pain in Jace's eyes. To anyone else, he would have looked like the usual Jace, calloused, nonchalant, and emotionless. But Alec had found ways to read him over the years. You could tell he was tired in the way he held his shoulder. And you could tell he was in pain by the look deep in his eyes.

"Left you for whom?" Alec asked.

"I didn't really ask Alec. She's gone, does it matter? I imagine you're fairly pleased." He grabbed the bag, hunching over to catch his breath.

"Of course I'm not pleased, you're upset." Alec made to move forward, but Jace resumed as if there were no one else in the room. His knuckles looked beat, he had to stop him before he hurt himself. Alec walked up to Jace and grabbed one of his arms.

"Enough, that's enough."

Jace obeyed, much to Alec surprise, nodding his head absentmindedly. They stood there for a moment, Alec's hand on Jace's arm as he caught his breath and gathered himself. Then Jace sighed, knocked Alec's arm away, and blew past him. Jace was so guarded that it was difficult to keep up with him sometimes, to predict what he would do. He just resolved to do as he always did and follow him. He walked behind him, giving him space as they walked back to Jace's room. Jace tried to close the door behind him, but Alec knocked it open, closing it behind his back.

"Why would she just leave? After all we've done for her?" Jace was pacing.

"Who knows, she's always been a complete mess, was anything she ever did rational?" Alec said. It was clearly the wrong response, for Jace looked even more worked up. He looked down at his sweaty shift and yanked it off, throwing it across the room.

"Jace," Alec mumbled, walking up to him and pulling him into a hug. It was so rare that Jace cared about anything, that Alec had actually begun to believe Jace didn't feel connected with anything in his life, that he was checked out. But he could feel Jace's heart beating so hard in his chest, and he swore through his parabatai bond he could feel an intense grief and pain. It gripped Alec's chest, making it hard to breathe, and he wracked his brain for any way to make things better.

He was in the process of trying to think of something to say, when he felt his lips press against the crook of his neck. Alec's body went rigid as he tried to figure out if this was a game, a trap, or something real. He didn't breathe as Jace shifted, and gave another soft kiss right under his ear. This couldn't be real, it was something that only happened in the safe world of his dreams. But then again, Jace was running his hands through his hair, and it felt real.

"Alec," Jace whispered, and the longing in his voice made tingles run down his spine.

"What is this?" Alec whispered.

"It's ok Alec, I just need this tonight, please, just tonight," Jace said, licking a line up his neck to his earlobe. Alec was trembling, he knew he was falling apart. He was torn between doing what was best for himself - which would probably be leaving this exact moment, without another word - or what was best for Jace and giving in to what he wanted. Then again, maybe that wasn't best for Jace, but he couldn't think clearly enough to analyze it all. Jace was giving him gentle kisses along his jaw, then their lips were connected. His heart was racing, and he wondered if Jace could feel it, if Jace's heart was picking up pace with his. Jace pressed into the kisses, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue against Alec's. It was so cliché, but it truly felt like he always dreamed it would. He felt every move of Jace's tongue, every little moan through his entire body. It was too late to think, it was too late to turn him down, and honestly, he never had a chance to. He would do anything Jace asked, even if it ruined him.

Jace moved to take Alec's shirt off, but Alec stepped back instead and threw it off. He held his breath for a moment as they stood there, breathing hard, their eyes connecting, wondering if Jace would change his mind. But Jace moved towards him and Alec moved to meet him, and when their lips connected all the feelings he had held deep inside him were released in a storm of deep passionate kisses. They stumbled backward, until the back of Jace's knees his the bed and Alec reached under his legs, sliding him up onto the soft sheets.

Alec was vaguely aware of the fact he was being used, that Jace wasn't even thinking of what this would do to him, but anytime those thoughts would drift into consciousness, Jace would tug on his hair, or run his tongue over his lips, and the thoughts would fade away. Alec ran his hands up and down his chest, reveling in the strong muscle that vibrated under his touch. He drifted his hands lower and lower, running them over Jace's navel until he reached his pants. He waited for any indication he should stop, but Jace only kissed him harder and deeper, so he unbuckled his pants and leaned back, pulling them off. Jace sat up and started undoing Alec's pants, but ever trying to make things easier for Jace, he lept up, taking his pants off before jumping back on the bed.

Jace was hard, and it brought up so many questions in his mind. It gave him hope that this might be something more, that maybe, just maybe, Jace had always had repressed feelings for him too. He leaned down, licking the skin right around his nipple, smelling the deep smell of sweat and sandalwood that always lingered on his skin. He grazed his teeth over his nipple, and Jace shuddered, a beautiful real unguarded moment that took Alec's breath away. He began moving lower, giving gentle kisses and little licks down his stomach, until he reached his boxers. He slowly tugged them down his hip, kissing lower and lower as he went, until Jace was completely free. Alec dared a look at Jace from under his lashes. His face was red, and he was panting heavily. The look of pain was still there, deep in his eyes, and it made Alec want to try harder, to give more of himself, all of himself towards making that pain disappear.

He licked Jace from base to tip, running his thumbs over his balls. Jace groaned, and Alec took him in his mouth, running his tongue in circles along the tip, doing anything he could to elicit that same beautiful noise from him again and again. Jace placed a hand in his hair, shaking and grabbing a little too tightly as Alec took him deep in his mouth.

"Enough, not yet," Jace mumbled, tapping on Alec's head. Alec let him go, raising up and waiting to see what he wanted next. He hoped it wasn't too obvious in how hard he was breathing, in his trembling hands, that he would give him anything.

"I don't know how to do this, I need you to show me," Jace said, reaching over into a drawer and pulling out lube. Alec felt a little twinge, knowing exactly who that lube had been for, but it wasn't important now. He had won. Clary was gone, and he was crouched over a beautiful and naked Jace, one who was returning his ministrations for the first time.

It didn't take much to assume Jace wouldn't bottom, so he motioned for Jace to get up as he laid down. Alec gestured for him to sit between his legs. Jace looked down at him, and looked for a moment like maybe he would touch him, but he didn't. Alec tried to hide his disappointment and focused on grabbing the lube and putting some in Jace's hand. He pulled his legs back, angling his hips up, and Jace reached down, slowly inserting one finger.

"Is this ok?" Jace asked, running his other hand over his stomach in the way one would sooth a scared animal.

"It's ok, trust me it's ok," Alec breathed, his eyes rolling back as Jace moved in and out, in and out. Jace added a finger, and pushed deep inside, stroking upwards and hitting that place that caused so much intense pleasure. Alec jumped, and Jace stopped moving. He caught his breath for a second, and when he opened his eyes Jace was looking down at him with concern.

"It's ok, it feels good, it feels really good," Alec mumbled, moving up against his hand to get him to start moving again. Jace continued, hitting that spot over and over, sending spikes of pleasure down Alec's spine. He was completely lost in the pleasure when he felt Jace's hands retreat. There was a little twinge of loss, but then Jace was running the lube up and down his dick and the feeling of loss was replaced with anticipation. Jace placed himself at his entrance, then gave him a look he rarely saw, one of asking permission. It was too much for Alec to speak right now, so he nodded, hoping it was enough. Jace pressed forward, a little too hard, but Alec couldn't care. He took a second, then pressed all the way in, and suddenly Alec had everything he had always hoped for.

Jace slowly pulled out, then pressed in, and Alec's body pressed against his, wanting more of him. He reached up for Jace, and Jace leaned forward, so Alec could throw his arms around him. He kissed everywhere he could reach, his neck, his ear, his hairline, as Jace drove into him, slow at first, then faster. Sweat was dripping off of Jace into tiny beads on Alec's chest and he was overwhelmed by the overwhelmingly real feel of something he had only dreamed of. He hoped, like in his dreams, that Jace would touch him, but he didn't need it, this was enough. Jace clearly realized his feelings for him, they were going to have so much more of this, so much more time together to explore each other and their feelings. Alec reached down, stroking himself, and it didn't take long before he felt his stomach tighten and his balls clench. He tried to hold out, but then he caught a look at Jace's face, at the pure pleasure in those beautiful eyes, and he lost control. He came with a loud moan, gripping Jace's arms far too hard. He was worried he would miss Jace coming, but as he regained focus he could feel Jace's muscles shaking and hear his breath hitching. He was so close. Alec put his hands on Jace's face, turning his focus to him. His pupils were blown and his mouth hung open, his lips red and raw. He was unbelievably breathtaking in his passion, and as he finally came, Alec watched his features relax with the sense that everything in his life was finally coming together. All the pain he felt at being put aside for Clary, at being ignored, was finally gone. He could admit that he loved Jace, and he could be the person he always hoped to be.

Jace collapsed on Alec, cutting off his air a bit, but Alec hardly minded. He held him close, stroking up and down his spine, closing his eyes and breathing him in.

Jace rolled off of him, over to the other side of the bed, and sat up.

"I really needed that, thanks Alec. But don't tell anyone about this ok? This can't happen again," he said, before reaching down for his clothes.

"Of course, I completely understand," Alec said. He had built up hope that this was something more, and it all came crashing down. Inside he was breaking down, reliving the last hour over and over, trying to figure out where he messed up, where he ruined everything. But on the outside, he was the person he always was for Jace. He was caring and understanding. Jace gave him an awkward smile, and he smiled back before hopping out of bed and pulling his clothes on.

"Seriously, don't worry about it Jace, it's all forgotten," he said, before pulling open the door and leaving. As he walked down the halls, he wondered as he often did, whether the things he did for his parabatai, for the one he loved, were worth it. He didn't know the answer, but he knew that at least, when things seemed dark, he could think back to the time Jace held him close and gave him soft kisses, to the time where Jace was focused completely on him, and him alone. He would think back to the night where he proved just how much he loved Jace and when maybe, just maybe, Jace had felt something for him too.