Chapter 5: All new, faded for him

Hawke closed the door and caught glimpse of her friend who stood there the whole time, probably. She raised her brow at him, perplexed slightly at the sudden change in attitude. "He's asleep now. You should go and rest as well."

He dismissed her offer. "No, I am fine. Is he... gonna be alright?"

"In day or two, he should make a full recovery. Bodahn mixed the antidote, with Anders's instructions, of course. It's a good thing he repaired his ribs himself, bandages wouldn't help as much. He's exhausted all his energy. Give him a moment. Or..." Hawke's voice trailed off, giving him the "go on" look.

"Leave him to sleep peacefully. He probably never sleeps more than few hours. The circles under his eyes have gotten even darker." He said, forgetting that the almighty and not so sublime Hawke was too observant. And she read people mostly well. He mentally kicked himself for saying too much in front of Hawke. Now she'll make fun of him and he'll never hear the end of it.

"You notice such details on his face? My, my... Fenris." She said knowingly.

"Hawke. Don't." he growled.

"You have a thing for him, am I right?"

He looked over the shoulder. The others were still in the dining room, playing a round of Diamondback. Hawke was a smart woman. Of course she would figure it out. "Don't tell anyone. The mage is not to know about it. Swear you won't tell." He pleaded with her. She cocked her head and gave him the most wicked smile he saw on the woman. " Andraste's smelly feet! I won't swear anything, Fenris. He ought to know. What if he feels the same way? Are you so afraid of rejection you choose to silently suffer? That's not the best solution." His fingers poked at her shoulder, accusingly. "He and I are too different, he is a mage. I hate magic and all that are associated with it. You know that I cannot get rid of this hate that has been planted in me. It's etched into my skin like a plague. I am... alone and I shall be alone for the rest of my life."

Hawke shook her head. "Maker, you're so insufferable, Fenris! We are friends, we have been friends for many years and I want you to be happy. You deserve happiness. I believe you and Anders deserve happiness most of us all. You two have been through a lot. Tell him about your feelings. I know it's hard for you since he's a mage, but he isn't like the ones in Tevinter. Why else would you risk your life for him?"

She was right in that aspect, at least. The healer was the exact opposite of the magisters. He was selfless, helping without a hope for compensation and kind. He looked away. "Don't ask this of me, Hawke. I won't tell him."

The door creaked open and revealed a battered up and thoroughly tired man, dressed only in breeches, bandages were neatly tied around his torso. His expression was solemn. "Hawke, could you leave us alone?"

She assessed the situation and truly it was for the best if she left them to talk it out. Maker knows they're as stubborn as mules, but maybe this will help them see the truth. She smiled at them warmly. "Sure thing. I'll go and let Isabela trick me into losing more gold. In the meantime, you can have a discussion in my room. " Without further ado, she left. While she was descending the stairs, she couldn't resist and gazed up at the two men. They were just staring at each other. She shrugged. Hopefully, they'll heed her word. Now then, time for some more finesse with cards...

"If you would..." the healer gestured towards the room he emerged from. The warrior gritted his teeth. Surely the mage heard everything and he'll reject the idea. "I'd rather not."

"Please." the mage begged him.

He closed his eyes shut for a moment. The moment of truth. Let's get it over with. "Fine." He agreed reluctantly and the mage's face lit up – he looked far younger. He followed him inside Hawke's bedroom. The healer sat down on bed, sighing heavily. "Maker, this sounded better in my head."

He closed the door and stood there, looking at him. The mage's gaze caught him by surprise. It was earnest. "I heard from Hawke that you were captured by Varania and templars. I am sorry. If it weren' for me..."

"I blame her and templars, not you. Such disgusting tactics shouldn't be used by someone who claims to be serving the greater good."

"I agree completely. Funny how Chantry and templars forbid the use of blood magic and yet phylacteries use the same principle to track down escaped mages. Also, they make deals with blood mages to capture mages – apostates like me. I thought that when I destroyed my phylactery, I was free of them. And I dragged you, Hawke and everyone I want to protect along." He approached the mage who was clearly in low spirits. "Anders."

His amber orbs looked dead on to the emerald ones.

"Fenris?"

The elven warrior made the decisive steps that separated him from the startled mage and sat down next to him. "Running away from Circle, running away from Wardens... it must be a habit. But after recent events, I understand you better."

The former Grey Warden chuckled. "Running away from your family, straight to Danarius... running away from Danarius. Maybe we're more alike than I thought."

His lips curved up in a smile."You say strange things, mage."

"Do I?" He joked, then his amber orbs darkened. He closed his eyes and leaned in, planting a kiss on the warrior's lips. Needless to say, he was surprised by the healer's act and even more when he kissed back. It ended sooner than it began, though. The mage withdrew, smirking. "So... not one -sided love after all? Man, I am glad Hawke spoke to me of your daring charge at Holding Caves. I hear you took command."

He blinked, flustered. The woman tricked him. It was so like her. "Hawke has a loose set of lips. I should sew them up."

"No, her smart mouth saved us more than once in a pinch. I am thankful for your timely rescue, Fenris." he didn't retort back as he would, because he had no arguments. The mage saw through him and his buried feelings, all thanks to meddling Hawke.

"Let me get this clear. You can't return to the clinic after this incident." The healer nodded. "Yes, I know. I am a well known apostate now. I should probably leave Kirkwall. I don't want to trouble Hawke, Aveline and Varric."

"If you're leaving, then I am going, too."

The mage looked up at him, genuinely happy. "I didn't dare to hope you'd go with me..."

"There is nothing holding me here... except you. It took me great deal of effort to understand that I came to Kirkwall not to escape Danarius, but to meet someone... someone like you. A mage, yet so different. You fight because you have no choice. You don't harm, you heal. I respect you for that. But, one last thing..."

Healer took his hand and held it. "I will answer whatever you want to hear."

"The spirit... will it leave you be? Am I considered a threat to it by slowing you down? Am I straying you from the path?"

The mage smiled faintly. "Justice does not approve that we have to leave, but you're no threat or diversion. He and I are one one. I cannot say what awaits us, but with you by my side... we will overcome anything."

The warrior squeezed the mage's free hand. "That we will. I'll protect you from anything and anyone, even yourself." Now it was the healer's turn to blush. "I am not a damsel in distress, you know. I can protect myself."

"I know that. Still, I am with you and I'll be here for you from now on. I am not alone anymore."

The mage smiled for the warrior. "You should smile more often. You look more beautiful that way."

"Are you flirting with me, Fenris?" He asked as a matter of factly, enjoying the forming red on the elf's cheeks and the red on the tips of adorable ears.

"Flirting... I am bad at it. Maybe I'll practice it."

"You should. For now, let's lay down. I am sure Hawke won't object. She lent us her bedroom, remember? I am tired. I'll be much more content with someone sleeping next to me." He suggested and the elven warrior shook his head. "Your courtship ideas are very daring, mage."

"Do I hear protests from the handsome elf?"

He chuckled nervously. "No. Climb in. We'll tell Hawke and others of our departure another day."

Anders slid under the sheets and soon Fenris followed. They looked at each other for a long time before sleep finally came.

The future was uncertain for them, the roads ahead probably harsh and less traveled but they'd be together, guarding each other. Fenris embraced the fast asleep mage, closing his eyes. It was all new, faded for him. But worth it.

~ THE END? ~

Author's Notes - So I guess some people might have enjoyed this babbling of a mad woman, but I wonder if certain individuals who read to the very awkward end would like a... sequel? That sound like a really bad idea. I might as well do it. Only time will tell and reviews... if I get any. I am not hopeful. I've been on this site for many years now. I rarely get reviews nowadays. That's all, I guess. See ya... maybe?