Disclaimer

Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Hideaki Anno/Gainax

One-Punch Man is owned by 'One'

The boy looked around at the empty streets. No one was in sight, not a single person or even animal. Except the cicadas… cicadae? Cicader? The boy sighed.

"I'm think the heat is getting to me. Am I too early? Hmm… Well, maybe I can just wait in a store or something. I mean, it's not like I wouldn't notice purple hair." The boy noticed a girl down the street watching him. "Blue hair? Maybe she's related to Miss Katsuragi?"

A tremor caused him to look away, "Oh, an earthquake! That must be it! Wait, shouldn't she be inside too?" He looked back to where the girl used to be standing. "…Maybe she just didn't get the message?"

An explosion rocked out behind him, and he coughed to clear out the resulting smoke from his lungs. He turned to see several gunships firing at a…

"…Kaiju?"

A car screeched onto the street and stopped a few feet from him. The woman he was supposed to meet opened the door with an urgent "Get in!" In seconds they sped off. Misato gave him a glance a few minutes later and spoke, "You don't seem too bothered by what you saw, Mr. Ikari."

"Just 'Shinji' is fine, Miss Katsuragi. And, well, stuff like that doesn't really bother me anymore."

She smiled, "Well then, just 'Misato' is fine, too." A comfortable silence held before Misato realized something. "Hold up, what do you mean stuff like this doesn't bother you anymore?"

Shinji pointed past her, "You see enough kaiju, and they become pretty boring."

Misato looked to where he was pointing before her eyes widened. She immediately tried to pull him down but only succeeded in planting her face into his lap. A massive shockwave caused the car to flip end over end before landing upside down. The doors opened and a red-faced Misato and Shinji stepped out.

"…Ahem. Right. Let's… just focus on getting to NERV for now. It's a bit of walk but I can-"

Shinji walked up to the car and proceeded to pick it up and flip it back onto its tires. He got back in and a shell-shocked Misato joined him a moment later. Miraculously the car still ran, and they resumed their drive.

"…You're, uh, pretty strong, aren't you?"

Shinji nodded, "The second strongest in the world."

"Who's the first?"

"My father."

Misato was shocked, "Commander Ikari-"

"Not him, my adoptive father, Saitama." Shinji frowned.

Misato winced, "Sorry. I'm guessing from the frown you and the Commander didn't have the best relationship?"

Shinji closed his eyes and yawned, "Hard for there to be a relationship when two people stay out of each other's lives for years. Wake me up when we get there, the run here was killer."

The jolt of the elevator snapped Shinji out of his rest. Misato glared at him while he stood up from the floor.

"You sleep like a rock, you know that?"

Shijin scratched his cheek, "Sorry... Anyways what's with the mecha? Is it for fighting that kaiju?"

"That is an Evangelion, and it is for fighting the Angel, not 'kaiju'." A blond woman in a lab coat walked towards them, "Is this the new pilot for Unit-01?"

"No."

Both women stared at Shinji, who looked fairly bored.

"I only made the trip out here to tell Rokubungi that. This place doesn't really have a mail or call center, or a website, so here I am."

"But-"

"And no offense, but the thing out there looks like the monster-of-the-week for a sentai show. The fact you conveniently have a brightly colored robot to fight it doesn't help."

"It is not a-"

"It doesn't matter, Doctor Akagi. Prepare Rei for combat." Both women looked up to a large-windowed office. Gendo and an elderly man stared down at them. Shinji frowned and glared at Gendo.

"…Why are you wearing shades? Do you get migraines? Probably shouldn't have an office so high up if you do."

Gendo stared at his son. The boy had left with some bald stranger before he could be sent away and they both seemed to just disappear. It was only last year that he was found. Apparently, he had been living on the outskirts of Tokyo-3 in a neighborhood that had somehow been forgotten and none of the water, gas, or electricity had been shut off. The boy had been running to another neighborhood almost ten kilometers away to perform odd jobs for money. Eventually someone recognized him from a missing-child poster and alerted the police.

According to him, his 'sensei' had been training him ever since he left, and was schooled by another disciple over the years. Any questioning into why he never returned to society received the same answer: 'I had no reason to. I know how to take care of myself better than most adults and no one is waiting for me out there.' The police doubted it, but he aced whatever tests they gave him and a few rooftop farms were found around the area. Still, he agreed to be placed in a foster home until he was legally an adult.

All this went against his scenario, but Gendo would be damned if this stopped it. All that mattered was that Shinji fought the Angels. Whether it's through guile or force didn't matter, and as Shinji got into the elevator he had a feeling it would be the latter.

'That was weird.'

Gendo had just gone silent for a few minutes after Shinji spoke, not even reacting when a tremor rocked the building. Shinji did what he intended, so after thanking whoever was in the Evangelion for blocking some falling debris, he left.

'Maybe he got lost in thought like Genos does sometimes…'

The elevator reached the top and the door opened to reveal at least a dozen men in combat gear with batons.

"Huh? Do you guys work for NERV too? Are you like those security guys at the front?"

CRACK!

One of the men had rushed him and slammed the baton into his head. The baton bent from the impact and the man was staggered. Shinji just pulled out his temporary pass.

"Oi, oi, I'm a guest here, see? You can ask Miss Katsuragi if you need to."

The rest of the men rushed Shinji and began beating on him. He just sighed and cocked an arm back…

"Excuse me."

Gendo glared at the screen in front of him. Shinji, who refused to pilot Unit-01, who was strong enough to knock out a dozen Section-Two men with blows that dented kevlar, who seemed simpler than a piece of paper, had escaped.

And was now talking to the Angel.

It leaned down slightly to regard the boy.

"Could you please stop stomping through the city? You're causing a lot of damage. Why are you here, anyways?"

The Angel merely lifted its foot and stomped on the boy. Gendo frowned, this, this was not part of-

"Wow, you can see everything up here."

Shinj appeared on top of the Angel, looking down at it. He stomped and the upper half of the Angel burst. Shinji reappeared on the street a moment later.

"That was simple."

The body of the Angel formed a sphere around Shinji a second after he spoke and detonated. He walked out of the crater unharmed, now stark-naked.

"Good thing I brought spare- Crap, I left my bag with Misato!" Shinji disappeared from the screen.

Fuyutsuki looked towards Gendo, "Did any of your scenarios include this?"

Gendo stared at the spot his son used to occupy.

"…No, they did not."

"Thanks again, Misato." Shinji walked out of the alley he had hidden in, now dressed in a white button-down shirt and black slacks.

"…No problem, Shinji." She stared at the boy for a moment, "…Shinji, how strong are you, exactly?"

"Strong enough, I guess? I mean, my sensei took down bigger things than that kaiju, and I went through the same training he did…" Shinji shrugged.

"What sort of hell did they go through to get this strong!?"

"100 push-ups, 100 squats, 100 sit-ups, and a 10 kilometer run every day for about three years." Misato went wide-eyed at Shinji who just shrugged again, "You asked."

She laughed sheepishly, "That, uh, was supposed to be in my head… Wait, you started training when you were eleven!?"

"Ten, actually."

Misato sighed, "Well, you'll certainly be interesting to live with."

"…Pardon?"

"Here we are!" Misato presented her apartment to Shinji, who had to do a double-take to see if this was an illusion. Trash bags littered parts of the floor, empty beer cans and bottles sat everywhere. Misato frowned at Shinji's expression.

"Hey! NERV takes up a lot of time! I don't… have the… Shinji?"

He had closed his eyes, and when he opened them it was like a completely different person was in front of her. He disappeared from her sight, and the sound of clapping showed he had reappeared behind her. It was Misato's turn to do a double-take at what she saw. Her apartment was now spotless. Shinji looked around before nodding.

"There we go! Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"…Go ahead."

'If he can cook too he's going to be fighting off girls left and right.'

Shinji sighed as he took off his clothes. Living in the same city as his father was bound to end poorly. So was living with Misato. It wasn't that he didn't like her, but he had a feeling the incident in the car was an omen. Still, nothing he could do about it now. It would be best to just take that shower and-

Misato put down her beer when Pen-Pen came screeching into the room. He booked it into his fridge and Shinji ran into the room a moment later.

"Misato! Did a penguin kaiju just run in here!?"

Misato laughed, "That's just Pen-Pen! He's a warm-water penguin I adopted from my old job."

Shinji gave her a flat stare before putting his head in his hands and sighing, "Great. Now we have 'smart-as-a-human animal friend' to cross off the sentai list. Now we just need the suits and we'll be good." Shinji walked back into the shower as Misato laughed and took a sip of her beer. She spat it out once the image of naked Shinji caught up with her.

'…A fourteen-year-old should not have those kinds of muscles…'

Ritsuko sighed as she looked over the footage of Shinji's 'fight' with the Angel. She tried running the data through the Magi, but that ended in disaster. Magi-01 almost crashed trying to figure out how Shinji survived the Angel self-destructing, Magi-02 refused to help, and Magi-03 had almost crashed from seeing Shinji naked. Ritsuko rubbed her temples as the past hour or so caught up to her. There was one bothering her more than anything else about this situation: if Shinji was so strong, why didn't he try to get revenge on Gendo? He clearly hated the man if he used that name and he killed an Angel like it was a bug, so why didn't he do anything?

She leaned back in her chair, and just rested her mind for a few minutes. She looked over at the spare plugsuits in her lab, and she chuckled.

'Maybe Shinji had the right idea. Make some helmets with useless mouths on them, see how Gendo likes the new 'N.E.R.V. Rider Force' uniforms…'

AN: I refuse to believe I'm the only one who thought Sachiel looked like a power rangers monster. Next chapter, Shinji meets Rei proper and goes to school! And that sounded more interesting in my head!