Enjoy and review if you feel so inclined :)
Chapter 4
He tips his glass toward her, a silent toast to their small victory. Jessica grins widely beside him. She presses her back against the booth, shoulders relaxing. For the first time in weeks she isn't wearing a frown. Harvey has missed sharing his winnings with her. He might finally be her equal, but he doubts he will ever stop trying to prove himself to her.
"That was some speech, Harvey."
"I know."
She chuckles. "Well, as long as you know. Who'd have thought Mike Ross' prison sentence could ever be used as a selling point?"
"Jessica, you should know by now that I can spin almost any weakness and turn it into a strength."
Jessica twirls the stem of her wine glass. "Just don't let this win go to your head. We are in no position to start getting cocky."
Still, Harvey can't help but revel in the moment a little. This new client is a big deal. Sure, they wouldn't be bringing in millions in billings just yet, but a Biotech company that had almost gone under because their CFO had received allegations of a fraudulent college degree? It was almost too perfect. Ironically, this was their main reason for even agreeing to a lunch with Harvey and Jessica. They had to start over once. Just like Harvey, Louis and Jessica are now.
"Have you been to see him yet?" Jessica asks.
"I saw him this morning."
"How is he?"
"Do you care?" he asks, not unkindly.
"Unfortunately yes. I haven't forgotten that he kept your sorry ass out of prison. And mine."
"I'll tell him you said thanks. And I think he's alright. Or trying to be."
"He better not be a smartass in there."
Harvey laughs. "Funny, I told him the same thing."
"You did well today, Harvey."
He nods his head in silent gratitude.
"And with McKernon Motors and Louis' sister's company, Pearson Specter Litt might actually see two-thousand and seventeen."
"Thank god for loyalty."
Jessica finishes her glass of red wine, gathers her purse and throws her coat over her arm.
"You off to celebrate without me?" he asks her.
"The war is far from over, Harvey," she reminds him. "And I have someone to celebrate with already."
Harvey smiles, genuinely happy for her.
"I think you do too," she says tellingly.
"Don't be coy, it doesn't suit you."
Jessica scoffs. "Don't be obtuse, that doesn't suit you."
"Goodnight Jessica."
She shakes her head. "Night, Harvey."
She can feel him watching her from across the table. It's something that he is becoming less and less subtle with the more time they spend in each other's company. She's trying not to read too much into it.
She shovels a piece of broccoli into her mouth, keeping her eyes glued to the plate in front of her as she makes a conscious effort to ignore his unnerving gaze. She is vaguely aware of the fact that neither of them have spoken in over fifteen minutes. This probably isn't what he had in mind when he showed up at her door with takeout.
"Donna?"
She glances up at him. "Yes?"
"Do you want me to go?"
She smiles softly, despite her sour mood. She shakes her head. "No, Harvey."
"So this cold front isn't purely for my benefit?"
"Just not feeling particularly chatty this evening."
Harvey nods, chewing thoughtfully.
Her failed attempt to reach out to Rachel has been nagging at her since their brutal encounter this morning. She can hardly process it, let alone share it with Harvey.
"That's unlike you," Harvey says, expressing concern.
It's almost ironic that he is the one trying to coax her into talking about her feelings. The sudden role reversal is unsettling.
"I'm fine, Harvey," she says, stabbing at another vegetable with her fork.
"You know I've never once believed you when those words have come out of your mouth."
"Well good thing I became a secretary and not an actress."
She hadn't meant to snap, not really, but Harvey looks wounded by her words. She feels an immediate wave of shame, knowing she just picked a fight with Harvey because she was hurting and she needed a target.
Donna averts her eyes, clears her plate and takes it straight over to the kitchen sink. She hears the clatter of Harvey's cutlery a moment later. When she finally musters up the courage to turn around and face him he is already sliding his jacket over his shoulders. There's an apology ready on her tongue but she's too stubborn to manage the words.
"Fourteen years."
They lock eyes for an uncomfortable length of time. She curbs the natural instinct to look away.
"Fourteen years, Donna. You could have left at any time. Why did you stay? Better yet, why did you even come back?"
"Which time?" she asks, knowing that it's the wrong thing to say.
Harvey doesn't take the bait.
"The firm is in pieces. I don't even have an office, let alone a desk for you. I'm monopolising your professional and personal life. So why do stay?"
She wants to remind him that both times she left him he practically fell apart without her.
"It's my job."
"Bullshit," he fires back. "You could get a job anywhere, hell, you could have become an actress if that's what you've really wanted all these years."
"You needed me," she reminds him, through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, but you never needed me. I'm the one who's held you back all these years right? Keeping you from leaving, never giving you want."
He's furious now, advancing on her in the same way he does when someone starts to get up in his face. She backs away, needing to put some distance between them. Physically, at least.
Why do you stay with him, Donna?
It's a question she has been asked dozens of times. By her father, her sister, boyfriends, lovers, friends she stopped making time for years ago. It's a conversation she's tired of having, especially when everybody has already formed their own assumptions.
"Why haven't you left for good?" Harvey asks quietly.
"Because we're partners."
This stops him short, as if he hadn't expected such a straightforward answer. It may be a simple explanation, but 'partners' is just about the only term that encompasses everything that they are to each other.
"Why did you come over tonight?" she asks boldly.
"What are you talking about?"
"You show up – unannounced of course – and you bring dinner as if this is some sort of a regular occurrence. What gives?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
How very typical. Only Harvey would expect complete honesty without ever returning the favour. If he's finally going to ask the hard questions then so is she.
"We don't do this," she points out.
"What? Have dinner?"
"Come home to each other," she corrects.
Harvey sighs, cocking his head to the side. He studies for a moment.
"Would that be so bad?"
Her eyes widen dramatically. From the expression on Harvey's face, she can tell that he's just as shocked by the slip as she is.
"Uh, I didn't mean…"
"Oh no, you don't get to take that back. And don't you dare tell me you just said it to make me feel better."
Donna takes a step closer to him. She sees Harvey's hands twitch by his sides. She's not sure if it's because he's fighting the urge to flee from her apartment, or fighting the urge to reach for her.
It would be all too easy for her to kiss him.
"When you're ready to stop pretending, let me know."
Harvey furrows his brow as she backs away from him.
"Donna?"
With every last inch of her resolve she says, "Lock the door on your way out."
She walks away from him and she waits a few seconds before she hears the door open, the lock click and the door close. She expects him gone when she swirls around, but he's still there, leaning against her door with a stupid smirk on his face.
She folds her arms. "I'm going to need to hear the words."
"I'm sorry."
"Nope."
"I've been an idiot."
"Better."
They share a grin.
"I've always known it was there, Donna," he says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "But the timing was always wrong."
"Now isn't exactly a great time," she admits with a laugh.
"Well how about ten years from now I tell you I love you. Would that work?"
"You ass –"
He runs over and kisses her before she can say it.