A/N: I'd like to thank Delia Lavender, NeverIsTheEternal, Anna, and Ann aspiring writer for all your lovely reviews! I'm really happy that there are people who still read this story. Unfortunately, I am going to put this on hiatus since I'm not sure when I will be able to update next.

On a brighter note, I am considering writing a new Nobu/Sayuri story. There will be information posted on my profile soon. If you are interested, please drop by and have a look :)

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November 11, 1940 / 8:21 P.M.

The strange feeling of confusion and urgency stayed with her throughout the month. Wherever she went, the ghost of Nobu's scent or the softness of the Chairman's handkerchief would mock her brutally. It was all she could think about, all she knew in her heart.

How could she have been so blind all this time? How could she have overlooked Nobu, the diamond that had been beneath her nose for these past few years? If Sayuri were to ask anyone in Gion's streets who was the thickest, most hard-headed person on the face of the earth, all would reply 'Nobu.' It was clear that she was the rightful owner of that title. She had to be or else she would have opened eyes to men other than the Chairman earlier.

Simply thinking about this hurt her so. She had no right to these feelings. She didn't even have a right to her own life. How could someone in her position covet what was never meant to be?

Sayuri stared outside her window, watching the hustle and bustle of the town. Groups of women and their children caught her eye the most—she wished she could have that kind of simple, carefree life with a man and offspring of her own.

How unfortunate for a doe-eyed girl with nowhere to go and no one to turn to. Predators lurked around every corner in wait for the slaughter. She had been foolish enough to walk right into an ambush.

There was no reasoning with the mixed feelings she had for the two most important men in her life, so when a telegram came with her name stamped on it, and she saw that Nobu was the sender, she nearly leapt up in joy. It was the most ungraceful display her body had performed in a long, long time. She was a far cry from the serene, controlled geisha she was only a little more than a month ago.

Mr. Bekku spruced her to perfection, as always, using nothing but the best of perfumes, waxes, and paints on her delicate skin. He was doing nothing more than his job, but to Sayuri, she pretended like she was a bride being sent off to her groom to exchange vows. When she was still a maiko, she liked to play this fantasy out in her mind whenever she met the Chairman. No matter what party they attended, he would always stand when she arrived. She would glide towards him as if she were walking down the aisle in one of those western romances. The softness of her steps had been for him and him alone, though it garnered attention and praise from other guests. More often than not, her entrances would cause entire parties to go silent.

It had been so simple then. Her gaze was as pure as starlight, as focused as a spotlight when she was with him. There was nothing like that anymore. The stakes were growing higher with each man she met and got involved with.

Night had just barely fallen when she set out. The sights she had grown to love and feel for were nothing but blank canvases in her empty stare. They held nothing new for her, nothing that made her want to linger. She did not need them to calm her nerves this time.

Sayuri did not know how to rectify any of this, so she would do what she always do when she had a problem: she would let nature take its course. A lesser person would say 'fake it until you make it,' but Sayuri thought that was rather crass for her. Even if she was nothing more than a commoner from a fishing village, she was a transformed woman now. A butterfly that had flown from her chrysalis.

The wooden teahouse that housed her customers came into sight. She dismounted the rickshaw with her usual mien, determined to show nothing but perfection, just as she always had. The chairman and Nobu were relying on her.

Everybody was.

The stress and struggle of constant neutrality had never been a problem for Sayuri. For all of the sleepless nights of parties and entertainment she had gone through, the exhaustive nature of her work had never taken its toll on her. She supposed she was just lucky. Lucky that she had been sculpted from the same clay that politicians and CEOs were made of. Perhaps something similar to even the Iwamura Electric men. She had a bit of strength, a bit of fastidiousness in her weak skin and bones. Just not enough.

And when she glided through those doors, her noh mask in place, she felt eyes on her and her alone for a long second of eternity. These people did not see the same person she did when she looked in the mirror. They saw a professional, a woman born and raised to cater, to serve.

The two pairs of eyes she valued most settled on her slender frame, enthralled. At this late stage in their relationship, she was still surprised to find that Nobu had that same waxen stare that he did when they first began their acquaintance. The chairman, on the other hand, seemed faded in that moment, like he was the smooth, shapeless candle instead of Nobu. She was clay and they were wax. The only difference between Nobu and the chairman was that he was melted. His features had been prematurely obscured. He was unlucky and unwanted.

Her lips split into a small smile. "Good evening, Nobu-san, Chairman."

They nodded, Nobu extending his hand to the seat next to him. "Please, sit."

She accepted gracefully, turning her head around the room in greeting. She would make her rounds later when more guests arrived.

"Sayuri, the Germans should be arriving soon. We're relying on you," the Chairman said, a teasing grin playing around the corners of his mouth. "I suppose you'll be needing all the luck you can get."

"Oh? I wasn't aware they were so difficult. They were rather polite at the last party," she replied. Mentally, she patted herself on the back, pleased that she wasn't flustered at the Chairman's attention for once. She needed all of her wits about her if she was to fight for control of her heart.

"That's because you didn't have to hold a real conversation with the Colonel," Nobu grumbled. He downed a shot of sake with a grimace, motioning for Sayuri to refill it. "I'll be needing this if I have to put up with their nonsense for the rest of the night."

"Nonsense? I don't think I've ever heard Nobu-san speak of his business ventures in such a way," Sayuri said soothingly. It was better to calm his ire early. The party hadn't even started and the man was already irritable.

"It has nothing to do with business. In fact, the 'deal' they want is little more than a sham of the glory an equal partnership between companies can bring. If not for the government's threat of bringing Iwamura Electric down on our heads, neither of us would even be considering this."

The Chairman's blank expression froze at Nobu's outburst. He cast an apologetic look towards her.

"Might I ask what aspect of this deal is bothering Nobu-san?" she asked. His hand was gripping the cup tightly.

Before he had a chance to reply, the shoji screens opened, revealing the foreigners in their crisp uniforms. Nobu, the Chairman, and Sayuri rose and approached for the necessary salutations, the men shook hands while she stood and bowed. One thing caught her eye: for all the dislike Nobu had for the Colonel, it seemed like Goeth held none of the same ill will. A glimmer of…perhaps respect shone like a beacon in the foreigner's eye. It was likely that he admired Nobu because he had been in battle before.

In a time of war, the one thing that unified men all across the globe was their shared experiences with death and suffering. Japanese patriotism was not unlike German sentiment and this was in part due to the similar nature of both countries' governments. Sayuri might be inexperienced in politics and worldly things of that nature, but she couldn't deny that this tidbit of information fascinated even her. She heard it on Mother's radio earlier that year. Now, it might work in her favor.

As the small group settled at a large table, Sayuri decided to sit by Goeth. He had taken a liking to her after all, and it was only polite to return the attention.

She ignored the way Nobu's nostrils flared; they both knew she had to do this. The Chairman, cool as ever, didn't pay her actions any mind.

"It is wonderful to see you again, sir," she said, voice soft. She hoped he understood, and he did.

"You as well, Nitta-san." He didn't turn his face to her. He didn't even seem to acknowledge her presence. He filled his own cup, holding up a hand when she reached for it to serve him. "There's no need."

"Please, sir, you may call me Sayuri."

With a nod, he took a sip, and said, "Do you have foreign blood? Your eyes are an interesting color. Like a storm or even the most powerful of streams."

He wasn't complimenting nor insulting her. Fascinatingly enough, it looked to Sayuri like he was simply making an observation. His voice was as cold as his expression and completely neutral. Never once in her life had she ever come across a man like this.

"No, sir. At least I don't believe so. Many have said that I simply have too much water in my blood."

He raised a brow, looking at her for the first time in their acquaintance. "Oh? A speculation based on…"

He frowned, thinking for a moment. "What is the word? Ah, superstition?"

"No. It is simply our culture."

That seemed to satisfy him, so Sayuri thought to pose a statement of her own to keep things running smoothly. The Chairman and Nobu had each started up their own conversations with Goeth's aides, and they seemed to be doing fine discussing business.

"I would imagine there is a greater variety of eye colors in your homeland, Colonel."

"Yes. Greens and blues of every shade as well as gray and brown. I must admit the lack of diversity in Asia shocked me. Everyone shares the same features of color whether they like it or not," he said airily. "You, however, are an interesting exception. Perhaps it is God's work; a sign sent to me about our alliance with Japan. The Fuhrer is correct in considering the Japanese as honorary Aryans."

"Thank you. I am grateful for your kindness, sir." She lowered her head in supplication. A performer like her didn't deserve these words, and yet he graced her with them so freely. Perhaps her presence had really had helped Nobu and the Chairman somehow.

He offered her a twitch of his lips, turning to the Iwamura Electric men with serenity in his features.

The rest of the night went surprisingly well. Both Nobu and Goeth partook in every party game she suggested, which shocked her greatly and amused the rest of the guests that night. The colonel had proved to be more than the man she thought him to be. Clearly, there were many layers to the cool, unfamiliar demeanor she had been introduced to a month ago.

When she finally had leave to return to the okiya, it was early morning. The partygoers had vanished into thin air like onryo fleeing from the brightening sky. Even Nobu and the Chairman were eager to leave. She exchanged simple goodbyes, refusing to linger on one more than the other before she stepped into her rickshaw.

Just past the haze of the dark, the colonel had tipped his hat politely as he stepped into his car.

November 12, 1940 / 8:21 A.M.

"Onee-san, what do you make of Westerners?" Sayuri murmured. She stared at her manicured hands folded neatly in her lap. Across from her, Mameha raised a brow.

"What brought this line of thought?"

"The Germans at the party last night."

Mameha gave a slight frown. "They are men no different from the ones you and I know. Men are the same no matter where they are from. I hear the Colonel enjoyed your company, distant as he is from the other forms of entertainment Gion possesses."

"Yes, though I don't know what to make of him."

"Explain."

"He is strange, harder to read than most…and calculating. He doesn't seem like the type of man who would come to Gion if he didn't have to."

"No? Perhaps he is in line with men more like Nobu-san."

Sayuri certainly thought their experiences in war tied them together, but their natures contrasted too much. Where Nobu was passionate and easy to anger, Goeth was calm to the extreme. It made her think about the Chairman and how kind he appeared to the public eye. He felt so superficial when stacked beside the two men…there was nothing of his actual personality she could see just from the outside. Speaking with the Colonel last night had brought out more of who he really was than anything she had seen from the Chairman. If he had shown anything more than a fleeting interest in her, perhaps he would have revealed a bit of something, no?

The thought made her miserable. She was closer to understanding a foreigner than she was to the man she confessed to love for all of her teenage years.

Mameha sensed the sudden change in atmosphere, swirling her tea instead of speaking.

"Thank you, Onee-san. I think…I agree." She rose from her cushion, drawing back the curtains on Mameha's window to look outside. "I suppose I know what to do now."

"It will make your time with General Tattori easier."

Sayuri nodded, the barest of sighs passing through her lips.