A Proper Goodbye
Clarke was so torn inside, her stomach was in knots. She knew what she had to do. Octavia was right to expect her to return home, Clarke could see that her people needed her in Octavia's look. Her people needed her. It was time, just as she stayed here to hold Lexa to her word, it was time for Clarke to hold her people to her own words and efforts to having peace with the grounders.
That peace was everything that her and Lexa have been working towards. Lexa has stood up to everyone to protect Clarke and her people, even going against the history of her people. In return, the army of Arkadia killed the very army that Lexa had sent to protect them in an ambush. Clarke probably should have returned then, but it wasn't safe and she had to stop Lexa from retaliating. Lexa created peace with "blood will not have blood", but Clarke was drawn back to Polis; no, back to Lexa.
When Clarke was brought back to Polis the first time and she saw Lexa's face, she was so angry, she could have killed her. Lexa betrayed her in the worst way, leaving her standing alone on the mountain for her and her friends to die at the hands of the mountain men. When she decided to stay in Polis, Clarke promised herself that she wasn't going to have any feelings, that it was all about upholding Lexa to her promise to the Sky People; but even then her feelings sat in the back of her head. Now as she has to say goodbye and she asks herself why she wasted so much time. She knew that she was going to have to leave eventually. She know that she couldn't stay with Lexa forever. She should have told Lexa weeks ago how she felt.
She walks to Lexa's door, knocking as a formality and moving past the guards standing watch at the door. Lexa gave the orders to stand down the night that Lexa knelt down and swore fealty to Clarke and promised to treat Clarke's needs as Lexa's. Clarke shut the door behind her. She turned and didn't see Lexa, she fought back tears. She had to go meet Octavia, but she wasn't going to leave without saying goodbye. Lexa appeared from around the corner.
Lexa looks at Clarke, it is written all over her face, "When do you leave?"
"Now". Clarke walks closer to Lexa. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You have to go back, they're your people. That's why I", love is weakness Lexa can hear Titus in her head. She gathers herself. "That's why you're you."
"Maybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people."
The thought of this brings Lexa's lips at the corners. She knows Clarke is being naive. She used to take these moments to retort a teaching from Titas about what it means to be a strong leader, but Lexa is not feeling strong and she wants to believe Clarke. Instead, she replies, "I hope so." Lexa extends her arm, Clarke stares into Lexa's strong eyes and she reaches for her forearm. "May we meet again,"
Clarke can see Lexa forming her wall, and she feels tears starting to form in her own eyes. She refuses to waste her last moments pretending anymore. She reaches up and pulls Lexa into her, finally their lips meet again.
Lexa is startled by the kiss, and she pulls away, a tear runs down her cheek. She has been waiting for Clarke to want her from the day that she succumbed over her anger towards Lexa and bowed down to her, restoring power to her as The Commander, but also giving Lexa hope that they could one day be more. She just didn't see it like this, not before Clarke was going to leave her. Clarke kisses her again and all of her walls crumble and any reservations slip away. She kisses her back, breathing her in. Clarke takes a step into Lexa and reaches up to untie Lexa's shirt behind her neck and continues to move her back. Lexa shudders under as Clarke moves her back towards the bed. Lexa sits back and looks up at Clarke. She wants Clarke so much, but she doesn't dare move. She sees the hunger in Clarke's eyes, the same hunger that has been inside of Lexa since the day the Clarke forced Lexa to face her feelings and her walls crumbled for the first time since Costia.
Lexa reached up, pulling Clarke onto her. Clarke parted Lexa's lips with her tongue while pressing her body into Lexa's. Lexa shudders again. Get a hold of yourself, you have wanted this for long, she thinks to herself. Lexa rolls on top of Clarke and sits her up. She pulls Clarke's shirt up and off while Clarke finishes what she started, pulling off of Lexa's shirt. Still sitting, Lexa wraps her legs around Clarke's waist as her hands explore Clarke's body. Her nipples harden under Lexa's touch. She reaches up finding Clarke's arms, moving towards her wrists. She takes hold of her hands and guides them behind Clare's back, holding both in one hand. The other hand reaches up and caresses her neck and she pulls her harder into her. She pulls away slightly, with a sly smile and moves towards her neck.
Clarke doesn't fight being in Lexa's grips. Her body aches for her touch. She feels Lexa's lips on her neck moving towards her collar bone. Lexa's she felt Lexa's tongue lightly trace a line leading to her ear. A moan escapes from Clarke's lips as Lexa nibbles on her ear, slightly putting her tongue into her ear. Clarke shudders, wanting to free her hands to pull Lexa into her. Lexa's grip tightens as her head moves down to Clarke's breast. Still holding strong, she, licks, sucks and gently pulls at Clarke's nipple, then pulls away, teasing the nipple with the tip of her tongue.
Clarke breaks her hands free, she rapidly pulls Lexa into her breast. She needs more, much more. Then she pulls Lexa's hair, forcing Lexa to break away for Clarke's breast and tilts her head up. Clarke kisses her as she lays Lexa under her. She kisses Lexa hard as she finds Lexa's hands, pulling them above Lexa's head. Clarke then pulls away and Lexa attempts to lift her head to meet Clarke's kiss, but fails as Clarke has her pinned to the bed. Then Clarke traces Lexa's top lip with the tip of her tongue slowly. She then kisses Lexa's neck, catching Lexa shiver as she grazes right below Lexa's ear, she presses harder, working her way up to the ear. She glides the tip of her tongue around the edge of Lexa's ear, while holding her to the bed. Lexa moans into her as she pushes her hips into Clarke's thigh. Clarke smiles, letting go of of Lexa's arms and she slides down kissing her breast. She licks her hard nipple while her hands work Lexa's pants, Lexa lifts her hips allowing Clarke access to take off her pants. Lexa reaches to Clarkes and together they work them of.
Now it is Lexa who is pulling Clarke towards her. She maneuvers Clarke to her back and slows down the momentum. She places her leg in between Clarke's and she feels her wetness on her thigh. She slowly lowers herself onto Clarke and kisses her tenderly, exploring Clarke's mouth with her tongue. She can feel Clarke pulling on her back, as if she could be any closer. Lexa slides down Clarke's amazing body, kissing her collar bone, her breasts, using her tongue to gently draw a line past her stomach, she looks into her eyes. She smiles as she reaches down, with one finger gliding it up, dividing her center. She pulls it up to her mouth and puts it in, tasting Clarke for the first time. Lexa holds her gaze as she lowers her head. Clarke thrust her hips up impatiently and Lexa presses her tongue into her wet center. Clarke's legs wraps around Lexa's back as she brings her closer into her. Lexa works her way up and down slowly, paying special attention to the swollen tip at the top. Every time she meets her clit, Clarke rewards her with a deep moan and Lexa can feel her legs tighten around her back. Lexa repeats the long strokes, getting faster and adding pressure. It's not long before she hears exhale deeply and her legs relax around Lexa. She knows that she should stop, but she knows that when this is over... she is not done, not yet.
She goes back to soft long strokes, but focuses lower. "Lexa... oh my god, how are you doing that, I thought I was done." Her legs stiffen again as Lexa dived deeper into Clarke's center. Clarke starts rocking into Lexa's mouth. Lexa can feel her hands on the back of her head gently pulling her into Clarke. Lexa replaces her tongue with her finger, moving in and out. She moves back to the swollen tip. "Lexa." Clarke warns. She flattens her tongue to surround Clarke's sensitive tip, moving slightly. "Lexa," this time she moans in pleasure. Her breathing gets faster and Lexa speeds her movements in rhythm. Sliding her finger in and out with ease, she adds a second finger and Clarke rocks harder into Lexa's hand and mouth. Then there was a final moan and Lexa feels Clarke's whole body loosen. Clarke reaches down and lifts her up, pulling Lexa to her.
She has never felt anything like that before. She is satisfied with every cell of her body, but she is hungry too. She kisses Lexa hard, tasting herself. She relaxes again, feeling the weight of Lexa on top of her. She feels Lexa's lips, just letting them rest momentarily in hers. Clarke lifts her hips, leading Lexa onto her back. A tear rolls down her cheek, how can she be so happy and so sad at the same time? Lexa wipes it away and gently kisses Clarke pulling her closer.
Clarke feels her hunger stirr again. She slides her hand down past Lexa's firm stomach. She places her hand on Lexa's hip, kissing her hard. Her leg divides Lexa's and her hand gentley grazes Lexa's core, just hard enough to feel her wetness, but she doesn't make contact. Lexa's face begins to harden, but her eyes give her aaway. Clarke sees Lexa's pleading look and she bends down to kiss as her hand presses firmly against Lexa's center. Lexa moans into Clarke's mouth and she wraps her arms tightly around Clarke, never wanting to let her go. Lexa drives her hips upwards into Clarke's hand and finds the wight of Clarke's thigh pressed into Lexa's core even harder. Wit this Clarke, pulls away slightly and Lexa moans for more. She is satisfied when she inserts a finger into Lexa's core. Clarke can feel Lexa's walls tighten around her finger. Lexa was so wet, allowing her to moe with ease in and out. Clarke breaks away from kissing her, sliding down her firm body. She lightly licks her nipple, causing a fierce thrust from Lexa. She pulls Clarke hader into her . Clarke puts her breast into her mouth, and then shifts away slowly until she is only holding Lexa's nipple gently between her teeth. Lexa cries out and Clark doesn't move, "I'm sorry, are you okay."
"Please don't stop, harder." Clarke does as she is commanded and tugs again at Lexa's nipple, slightly harder this time as she continues moving her finger deeper and deeper into Lexa. This time Lexa stiffles the moan and Clarke continues to repeat this. Lexa rocks harder and harder into Clarke, beginning to get louder and louder. Clarke moves down her stomach, anxious to continue her exploration.
"Clarke, don't," her eyes plead and Clarke gives her a confused look. " I want you to, I just can't let myself..."
Clarke comes up and kisses Lexa before she says another word, "in this moment, you are safe. Please." Clarke's finger is still inside and Lexa's eyes close as she nods. Clarke doesn't hesitate, not letting Lexa think anymore. Clarke places her mouth to Lexa's center and drinks her in. Lexa moves into Clarke. Clarke moves up and down, firmly with her tongue and she feels Lexa shudder. Clarke feels her walls contract around her finger as she continues to explore Lexa with her tongue. She wants Lexa to feel what she felt. Clarke removes her finger and replaces the empty place with her tongue, Lexa moans loudly. Clarke grabs her hips and rocks her into her mouth harder. Lexa reaches down pressing Clarke's head harder into her core. She shudders again and Clarke extends herself as far as she can go while beginning to touching Lexa's clit in a soft motion. She continues these movements until Lexa moans loudly and she shudders and her stops all movements. Her breathing is rapid as Lexa reaches down to Clarke, gently guiding her up. Clarke gives her a determined look and motions back down, placing her tongue at her center and slowly working her way up. Lexa moans, but she reaches down, " I need to recover, come here."
Clarke hesitantly listens to Lexa and presses her body into her's. They hold each other closely, while kissing. After a moment, Clarke panics and says, "I should get g..."
Lexa gently bites her bottom lip and then smiles as Clarke kisses her in response. "Can I see your tattoos?" Lexa sits up, showing Clarke her arms. "Turn around." Lexa slowly puts her back to Clarke's and feels Clarke touching them softly. Lexa lays down and closes her eyes, concentrating on Clarke's touch, as she runs her fingers over her tattoos.
"If Octavia and I are going to going to get the blockade by dawn..."
"Shhh." Lexa can't go there, she just wants to have Clarke by her side a little bit longer. She feels Clarke touching her back softely.
"This is beautiful."
"I got it on my ascension day, a circle for every Nightblade that died, when the commander chose me."
"Seven circles. I thought you said there were nine deficcients at your conclave?"
"There were." This is not how Lexa wanted to spend her last moments with Clarke.
"What happened to number eight?"
Lexa rolls to her back and looks at Clarke. "Can we talk about something else?"
Clarke knows this is not the time to push. She let's it go. "We don't have to talk at all." Lexa is both relieved to move on and anxious to feel Clarke under her once again. She begins kissing Clarke gently as they fall back into bed. Clarke responds with intense, deep kisses as she tries to maneuver Lexa to her back. Lexa holds firm, planting her body harder into Clarke. Clarke almost tries again, but stops when she feels Lexa's touch between her legs. Lexa moves her hand up and down with ease. Clarke's hand is resting on her back as she feels Lexa's muscles move beneath her hand. Clarke begins moving her fingers down her spine. She can feel Lexa's butt rocking up and down to Clarke's body. She continues to move her hands touching every inch she can of Lexa. She finds room between them and she places her and finds Lexa's center. Clarke smiles as Lexa continues to kiss her, moving her tongue in rhythm with Clarke's. They each moan into each other until they and rock back and forth. They both climax and everything gets still. There is nothing left to say and everything to say at the same time. They lay there holding each other.
Clarke shifts Lexa to the side and kisses her one more time before pulling away. She can't wait any longer. At this point she will need a horse to make it back in time. "I have to go." She knows it is the only way that they will be able to have peace and one day see each other again. "You must be able to enforce the blockade if it is going to work." Clarke is running around, looking for her clothes, starting to lose control. " I have to get people together to fight Pike. I will take him out if that's what it comes too." Tears are falling down her cheek as she puts on her pants. Lexa grabs her hand to steady her.
"Clarke, we will meet again. Titus has arranged you our fastest horse. It'll be okay. You will get there before dawn". Lexa grabs her own shirt and gives it to Clarke. "Take this." Clarke looks at Lexa and puts on the shirt. Lexa is slowly getting dressed herself as Clarke turns for the door. She stops.
"Lexa."
"Shhh. You have to go back. They're your people." Lexa stands, wearing only Clarke's shirt and walks to Clarke. "That's why I love you." She gives her a final kiss goodbye and she watches Clarke leave. After she is gone, Lexa whispers to herself, "May we meet again, soon."