The Feeling called Love

I've always had a hard time expressing myself through words. I'm not as lyrically gifted as Umi, nor am I as straightforward as Honoka. The only way I know how to express myself is through music. But I couldn't rely on music all the time. I can't bring a piano everywhere I go to tell someone how I feel. When I want to tell someone how I feel, but I can't... That is one of the worst feelings I've ever had. One of the times I experienced this was with Nico-chan.

We had finished our last concert, so we didn't need to practice anymore. Because of this, I often went to the music room to play the piano, and Nico usually accompanied me. She would sit next to me on the piano bench, occasionally breaking the flow of the music by talking to me.

"Hey, Maki-chan." I abruptly stopped playing to talk to her.

"What is it, Nico-chan?"

"There's this university that contacted me. It's a couple of hours away by train." I looked at her and nodded. Seeing that, she continued to talk. "They said they were interested in me singing at their school. I guess they're starting up an idol program and want to recruit me."

"So, are you gonna do it?"

Please say no.

"I'm thinking about it. They're gonna pay for a lot of my tuition, but I don't really want to be away from my family. My mom said it would be good for me, though." She looked downwards, as if thinking. "What do you think I should do, Maki-chan?"

"You want to be a famous idol, right? I think you should go."

Don't go. Stay here.

"I figured you'd say that." She looked down and smiled, but it didn't seem like a happy smile. She didn't remain that way for long, turning to me with a big grin on her face. "By the way, not just a famous idol; I'm gonna be the #1 idol in the universe!"

"You're an idiot." We sat there for a while in silence before I started playing again.

"I can come visit if you're lonely and miss Nico Nii, you know." As she said that I accidentally missed the next chord, creating a dissonant sound.

"W-what are you saying?!" She looked at me as if she was confused.

"We're best friends, right?" I remained silent when hearing that question. Seeing that, Nico slid closer to me and moved her face closer to mine. I was caught in those ruby eyes, unable to move away. "Maki-chan could never be honest, huh?"

"T-that's not true..." We sat there for a while, staring into each other's eyes. There was a feeling in my chest that I couldn't explain, and it was growing each second I spent with her. But the distance that could have been closed in an instant grew wider as she slid away from me.

Eventually, Nico graduated. During the break before she went to college we spent as much time as we could with each other. We went out shopping, sang karaoke and tried writing songs together. I even helped her pack up to leave for college.

"I'll only be a few hours away. You could even come visit me, you know?"

"Yeah… Do you really need all of this?" I looked at the suitcases we had packed full of clothes and makeup.

"I'm gonna be an idol, so yes!" She grinned widely and I smiled back. She was always optimistic, unlike me. She was able to continue smiling as she left her crying family and walked out of the door with me. We were silent while walking to the station. When we got there, and her train arrived, she looked at me and spoke.

"I'm gonna miss you, Maki-chan."

"W-what?" Instead of answering me, she hugged me tightly. I felt my eyes water a bit, knowing that I was going to miss her, too. But unable to say it out loud, I just hugged her back. Eventually, we slightly separated, still holding each other. She stared at me as if she wanted something from me. I didn't know what it was, so I spoke instead. "Shouldn't you get on the train?"

"… Yeah." We let go of each other, and she walked forward and waved to me. "Next time you see me, I'm gonna be a full-fledged idol!" I smiled and that and waved back. I watched as she walked into the train, and it slowly left the station. I stood still at the station until the train was fully gone, taking Nico further and further away from me.

And when school started up again, the cherry blossoms bloomed a beautiful pink. I walked up to the school building, listening to one of our old songs and looking at the sakura trees. But, despite all that pink, it didn't seem as colorful as a certain one-piece that always caught my eye when Nico wore it. It was in that moment when the truth finally sunk in.

Nico wasn't here anymore.

But the feeling persisted. It had been a few months into school, but I still felt a tightness in my chest every time I spoke with Nico. Most of the time it was over the phone, but she occasionally came back on weekends and hung out with a lot of the μ's members, including me. And even when we weren't together, it was still there. I still couldn't name it, so one Friday I decided to ask around.

"Hey, Rin-chan."

"What is it, nya?"

"Uh... There's this person. Every time I see them, I get a tight feeling in my chest. Have you ever felt that?"

"Hmm... With Kayochin!"

"So, uh... What is that feeling?"

"The feeling of... Having a best friend?" That did seem plausible, but for some reason didn't feel right… I suddenly remembered what Nico said in the music room and felt that feeling again.

We're best friends, right?

"Maki-chan? Are you okay? Your face is kinda red, nya."

"Y-yeah, I'm okay." Hanayo gave the same answer as Rin, but I wasn't satisfied by that. Searching for the right answer, I went to the student council room and found Kotori and Umi chatting. After explaining like I did with Rin and Hanayo, Kotori seemed to have an idea.

"T-that could only be… lo-"

"SHAMELESS! Kotori-chan, it could be something else! Like… having a best friend, right?" Umi seemed a bit flustered because of Kotori. Wondering what Kotori was going to say, I opened my mouth to speak. However, I was interrupted by the door opening loudly.

"Ah, Maki-chan is here!" I turned to see Honoka smiling at me. "What's up?"

I explained the situation to Honoka.

"That's love, right?"

"W-what?! There's no way I could be in love with-" I cut myself off before continuing my sentence.

"Maki-chan, who are you in love with?!" Honoka screamed at me before grabbing my hands in questioning. I felt my blood rush to my face as she leaned even closer towards me.

"I-it's no one..."

"I want to know, too!" Rin walked in with Hanayo.

"M-me too..."

"I'm also curious..."

"Same, here." I looked at Kotori and Umi who were looking downward in embarrassment. Feeling all of the pressure from everyone made me blush even more. I thought of an excuse to leave the awkward situation.

"I... I have to go home."

"You're not getting away!" I started to run away from Honoka and Rin who were chasing me.

Somehow I got away and made it home. My parents were out, as usual, so I opened the door myself and threw myself on the couch in exhaustion. Almost immediately after settling down a bit, I heard my phone ring. I stared at Nozomi's name on my phone for a little before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Maki-chan, are you okay? The cards told me to call you. Is something going on?"

"Y-yeah… I'm fine. Um… can I ask you a question?"

"Sure! What is it?" I tried to explain my feelings to Nozomi. After a bit of silence, Nozomi spoke up again. "Hmm… That's definitely L-O-V-"

"Hi, Maki-chan!" I suddenly heard Honoka's voice from my phone.

"H-Honoka-chan?"

"Honoka, you were supposed to wait!" Umi's voice came next.

"I'm here, too!"

"M-me, too…"

"Hi, Maki-chan..." As Rin, Hanayo and Kotori spoke, I checked my phone again.

"Is everyone here?!"

"Elichi can't receive phone calls from us in Russia and Nico-chan didn't pick up, but everyone else is here!" I considered hanging up, but I didn't. The rest of our conversation went like this:

Honoka: Hey, Nozomi, do you know who Maki-chan likes?
Nozomi: Hmm… Maybe?
Me: W-what?
Nozomi: It's… Umi-chan.
Everyone: What?!
Umi: Maki-chan… Is that true?
Me: N-no.
Nozomi: Just kidding! Who do you think it is, Umi-chan?
Umi: … Rin-chan, maybe?
Rin: Really, nya?
Me: No…
Rin: Then is it Honoka-chan?
Honoka: Aww, Maki-chan! Really?
Me: No… Wait, why are you so happy about that?
Honoka: Because I love you all!
Umi: H-Honoka! It's a different kind of love, you know.
Honoka: Oh, right. Then is it Hanayo-chan?
Me: No, that's not right.
Honoka: Then who is it, Maki-chan?!
Umi: Good question.
Rin: Who is it?!
Hanayo: I wanna know, too…
Nozomi: Just tell them, Maki-chan.
Kotori: Is it… me?
Me: It's Nico-chan, okay?!

There was silence on the phone for a while after I yelled that. Then a single voice spoke up to break it.

"What?" It was a voice I hadn't heard for a while, but it seemed very familiar. After she spoke again, I immediately identified the speaker. "Is that true, Maki-chan?"

"Nico-chan?! How did you get in this call?"

"I called her while we were guessing, nya! Was I not supposed to?"

"W-wha… I gotta go."

"Maki-chan, wa-" I hung up the phone before I heard any more.

I'm such an idiot, saying that.

Thinking that, I felt some tears fall down on my uniform.

Besides… it's probably not love anyway. But… what if it is? What am I even thinking? I'm delusional for even considering that… Right?

Instead of continuing that line of thought, I laid down on the couch, burying my head in the pillow and wiping the tears away.

I woke up later that night to a ringing sound coming from my phone. Without looking at it, I answered the call and put the phone up to my ear.

"Yes?"

"Maki-chan, open the door!"

"Okay." Without thinking I walked up to the front door and opened it.

Wait, what am I doing?

Before I even realized it, I was being embraced very tightly.

"Wha-"

"Maki-chan, are you okay?" I looked down to see Nico hugging me. "I've been worried about you, you know?!" She wiped my face with her handkerchief, and I realized that my face was probably a mess because of my makeup dripping down.

"Y-yeah… I'm okay. Uh, you can let go of me now…" Instead of releasing me, Nico only held me tighter. "Nico-chan?"

"Is it true?"

Oh, no.

"Is what true?"

Don't say it… please.

"Are you… in love with me?" I couldn't say anything in response to that.

What am I supposed to say? Is this love? I… don't know.

As if sensing this, Nico pulled away from me slightly and looked me in the eyes.

"I need to know. Are you?" Still unable to speak, I simply stared back at Nico. And before I knew it, Nico leaned in even closer, and I felt a soft sensation on my lips. It was then when the feeling in my chest turned into butterflies in my stomach, and I realized that Kotori, Nozomi and Honoka were right.

This… is love.

After Nico pulled away, I mustered up the courage to tell her.

"I love you, Nico-chan." She sighed in relief and smiled at me. "But, that kiss was a little unfair."

"Huh? I deserve to be unfair after not knowing if you felt the same for almost half a year!" My eyes widened in shock.

"H-half a year? For that long?"

"Yeah… Is that a problem?"

"No, it's just a bit shocking." Then I realized that Nico was here, in my house, instead of a few hours away. "Did you take the train all the way over here?"

"Yeah, I did. You even kept me waiting at the door for like thirty minutes! Is no one else home?"

"My parents are out for the weekend."

"Hehe… That means I have you all to myself!" I blushed, turning even more red when Nico kissed me again. After we separated, she pulled me over to the couch. We sat there for the rest of the night, talking, kissing and just enjoying each other's company until we fell asleep next to each other.

Even though I had trouble realizing my own feelings and even more difficulties conveying them, I knew that there was someone out there who loved me and would listen to me. Because of that, I realized that I could open up to Nico. And even though she was a few hours away, that feeling in my chest called love didn't seem to get weaker.

Thanks for reading this. I feel like everything (like every scenario/AU) has been done for Nicomaki… So here's me adding to the already super large Nicomaki pile of fanfics. Idk if this has been done before, but oh well. I hope you enjoyed it!

Bchets