Writing is how I process. I get why Lexa died, I really do, the reveals and how it impacts the whole world all of that, intellectually I get it. But it hurts and I think they could have done it differently. Right now this is a one shot, but it has the potential to turn into something more. I hope you enjoy and it helps lessen the pain.

If I owned The 100 last night would have been so much fluff.

Clarke spared a second to wonder if her life would ever be her own again. The way Titus was shaking made her think that he did not really want to pull that trigger. The hard glint in his eyes told her he saw this as his best option. That made her think of Dante Wallace, and if he had similar thoughts before she ended his life. The bloodshed never ends.

"Think about this Titus, Lexa will know it was you."

"No, a skaikru weapon wielded by a skaikru thief will make more sense to her."

Murphy began pulling at his ropes again, when Titus' eyes flickered ever so briefly Clarke dropped down and frantically looked around the room. She could figure a way out of this, surely guards would come storming in once they heard gunshots. And she closed her eyes slowly, when she entered her room there had not been any guards posted, Titus must have sent them away.

"I'm leaving Titus, I am leaving with Octavia and now Murphy. Put the gun away and we can all walk away from this, you don't have to kill me."

She heard the pain in his voice when he called back, "So long as you live she will be Lexa, and she needs to be Heda. Your death might even push her into declaring war."

"And you don't think that another war is dangerous to her? You clearly have the numbers over Arkadia, but their weapons will do their fair share of damage, and Pike has proven to be ruthless." She moved her arm as slowly as possible under the mattress. "You are that confident that an all-out war is the safer option?"

"I am not going to change my mind Wanheda."

"I know," she jumped up and threw the knife Roan had given her. Titus jerked to the side, his reflexes too good for an attack like that. The sensitivity of the trigger and the recoil that comes with it however were new to him and he stumbled off balance. She tucked her head and ran for the door as quickly as she could, a few shots hitting the wall around her. She reached the door but it was already opening. Only one person would be coming that quickly and Clarke gave an anguished cry as instead of ripping it further open she slammed it closed. Not even a moment later a bullet struck the door and a hysterical laugh fell from Clarke's lips.

"Lexa! Titus has a gun!"

"Open the door Clarke!" Lexa's voice sounded so panicked it made Clarke's heart clench.

It made her sad she knew the sound of a gun falling to the ground. "I…I almost shot…forgive me spirits." Confident Titus was no longer a threat she opened the door. Well she started to turn the handle and then Lexa came barreling in with wide wild eyes. Her arms wrapped around Clarke and the blonde let herself melt just for a moment. They were both safe.

"Not that I'm not glad the shooting has stopped, but could someone please tell me what is happening?' Murphy drawled out.

Clarke followed Lexa's confused and hurt gaze take in the room, "I'd like to know that as well. Titus?" She said his name in that voice, the authoritative Commander voice. Their arms still wrapped around each other Clarke could feel the brunette shaking but it did not creep into her words. "Speak true, Titus, for they may be your last. I killed Gustus for his attempt on the alliance, I am capable of doing so again."

Titus was kneeling on the floor next to the gun and Clarke could clearly make out tears in his eyes. She knew he did not intend to hurt Lexa and the close call had fractured his already fragile state of mind. "Heda, Lexa, I…after that attempt in the throne room today, all I could see is how dangerous Clarke is for you. You were turning your back on generations of laws and traditions, on all we have known and it started when you let the skai girl in."

"Your issues are with me then, not Clarke. I made those decisions not her, and I stand by them. History does not have to repeat itself. That's what brought the end of the world, is it not?"

"Actually it isn't, not the way you are probably thinking anyways."

Three sets of eyes turned to Murphy who only then seemed to realize he had spoken, "Err…like I tried to explain to baldy while he was torturing me, I was locked in this lighthouse for almost three months and well…the earth was destroyed by this AI who thought the problem with humanity was overpopulation. So she launched all the nukes."

Nobody spoke for a few minutes and Clarke finally separated from Lexa's hold. "I am going to have you repeat all of that later. Right now my brain just cannot take in that kind of information."

"Welcome to my life," the bloodied boy muttered.

"Why are you here?" Lexa asked.

Murphy jerked his head in the direction of Titus, "Baldy thought I would make a good scapegoat."

"Scapegoat?"

Clarke stepped close again, "Titus planned to blame my death on Murphy."

Lexa shook her head and moved to stand before her advisor, "So not only did you plan to kill Clarke, but you planned to keep it in the shadows like a bushhada."

"I did what I thought best, Heda."

"And for that you will die."

"Don't." Lexa turned to look at Clarke, confusion clearly written on her face. "With him clearing the floor we are the only ones who know what happened in here. It would do more damage than good for it to get out that he doubted your judgement so much he tried to assassinate me. While he has challenged you in private he rarely does it in public, most people don't know the extent to which he disagrees. You should keep it that way."

"That's if I killed him publicly," Lexa didn't miss a beat, "if you were to kill him, as is your right since yours was the life he attempted to take, excuses could be made."

"None that wouldn't end in more bloodshed. And it would hurt our 'jus nou drein jus daun'. We act as if this never happened."

Lexa gave her head nod that could convey anything and everything, yet Clarke always knew exactly what was meant. "Never question my ability to separate my head from my heart again." Titus bowed lower. "Now leave and send someone in here to clean up the boy. I expect you to stay in your quarters the rest of the night, I will fetch you when I have something to say."

He moved quickly out of the room and gave Clarke a wide berth under Lexa's harsh glare. When the door closed Lexa moved to the window and Clarke finally gave Murphy her full attention. "You always find your way into bad situations, don't you?"

"That's one way of putting it. Do I get to be untied now?" She stepped forward and worked on the knots, "A lot has changed since we last saw each other."

"You have no idea."

"What's next? No offense to the Commander, but I have no desire to stay here."

Clarke's heart clenched tight at the reminder she shouldn't still be here. "We need to get back to Arkadia, and quickly. A boundary is being placed in a five-mile radius of it with kill orders for any skaikru on the wrong side as punishment for what the current chancellor has been doing."

"What is wrong with the goddamn chancellors? Jaha loses his mind and believes in a magic pill that takes away all pain and all his City of Light bullshit and now someone I am assuming is not your mother is being an idiot antagonizing the grounders."

"You will not make it to the boundary before it is too late." Clarke jumped at how close Lexa was again, a soft hand on her shoulder. "I will escort you both there personally."

"Lexa - "

"This is not up for debate Clarke. Only with me can I be sure you make it there safely."

"And what reason are you going to give to the other ambassadors?"

"Him. We say he stumbled into Polis and it is only right that you deal with him as he is one of your people, so I am extending your amnesty."

Clarke knew this was a time when Lexa would not budge so saved herself the energy. "Fine, but we should leave sooner rather than later."

"After he is looked at. And I must leave instructions for…I must leave instructions for while I am gone. I take it Octavia already left?"

"I would assume so. She is probably pissed at me right now, thinking I chose to stay."

Lexa swallowed hard but was saved from answering when a healer entered the room. He went straight to Murphy and began checking him over. Lexa moved her hand from Clarke's shoulder down to her hand and gave a slight tug. Clarke followed wordlessly down the hallway, back to the Commander's room. Clarke slammed another door shut, this time from the force of Lexa's body pressed into hers. Lips were devouring hers and it took all Clarke had to keep up. Lexa didn't seem to know what to do with her hands, one moment they were in blonde locks and then they were clenching desperately at hips.

"I can't lose you, Clarke."

Clarke tilted her head back so she could look into haunted green eyes, "You haven't. And I while I have to return to Arkadia, I will come back."

That seemed to trigger something in the Commander because the next kiss was slower, carried a weight to it that seemed so familiar to their kiss earlier that day. Only this time Lexa was the one leading Clarke to the bed, her body lying on top of the blonde's. The reverent kisses as clothes were shed stole Clarke's breath and in that moment she knew unequivocally that this was what she wanted out of life, what her more than surviving was. For the first time since landing on the ground she was thinking further than the crisis at hand. She was thinking past today, and that thought was Lexa.

"Ai hod yu in."

Lexa stopped her ministrations and her eyes held that wide wonder Clarke knew she would never tire of. "I love you too."