General AN: This is just a little PSA/note to anyone who follows my writing in general on ff dot net. My frustrations with some aspects of the site are causing me to switch permanently to ao3 as a means of publishing fics. I won't be publishing any new works on this site, so if you're interested in continuing to read my stuff, you'll have to switch over to my tumblr (jhoomwrites) or ao3 (jhoom) accounts. HOWEVER, because I have a number of unfinished WIPs and series on this site, I will continue to update those until they're complete. That means that the following stories/series WILL continue to be updated on ff dot net: The Mark; Academy Blues; love to hate; What's in a Name?; any fics related to Welcome to SKU. Anything new that I post that is NOT related to those stories will NOT be published here.

AN: another chapter :) yep that's right, i'm still here updating

next chapter will be darcy's pov. keep in mind that i'm still playing around with how i want parts of the story to go. i'm open to suggestions/feedback particularly regarding wickham and caroline.

"Guess what I heard," Lydia asks with delight as she bursts into Jane's room.

Elizabeth and Jane share a look, wondering if they should bother indulging their younger sister. Jane gives a slight shake of her head and Elizabeth's inclined to agree. They haven't even had breakfast yet, it's far too early for Lydia's games.

Kitty, however, never was very good at ignoring their youngest sister. "What? What did you hear?"

"Mr. Collins is engaged," she singsongs, dancing around her sisters and bouncing on her heels.

A startled gasp escapes from both Kitty and Jane. Elizabeth does her best not to blush. She desperately hopes Lydia - or anyone else, for that matter - knows nothing about Mr. Collins' proposal to her not a day earlier. Surely if there are rumors, they couldn't be about her.

"Mr. Collins is engaged?" Jane repeats. "Our cousin?"

"Yes, of course! It's not as if we know any other Mr. Collinses." Lydia finishes her dance with a final spin and then lands on the bed next to where Elizabeth is helping Kitty with her hair. "They're packing up Mr. Collins' things right now. Apparently he went for a walk and ran into Charlotte Lucas. They must have talked for a good while, because hours later they appeared at Lucas Lodge with Mr. Collins asking Sir Lucas for permission to marry Charlotte."

Lydia leans in. "Can you imagine? Charlotte Lucas is to be married before Jane? It's wholly unfair. Though at least Jane will have a far better husband, even if Mr. Bingley never works up the nerve to propose and she has to settle for someone else."

Although Jane seems rather unaffected by the declaration - mostly likely because she's far more tolerant of the nonsense Lydia says and because she has no reason to care much for Mr. Collins' impending nuptials with anyone (he didn't propose to her, after all) - but Lizzie is furious.

"Lydia!" Elizabeth hisses. In her anger, she jerks Kitty's hair a little too hard.

"Ow!" Kitty interrupts, pulling out of Elizabeth's grasp.

"I'm so sorry, Kitty. I didn't mean to pull so hard." She rubs her sister's scalp by way of apology. "Where did you hear all this?"

"Well I heard the ruckus from them moving his things, and then I overheard some of the maids talking. I'm sure you could go pay your dear friend Charlotte a visit and find out all the saucy details to fill in the blanks for the rest of us."

Kitty has the foresight to duck out of the way and save her hair from another pulling, barely dodging out of the way as Lizzie reaches over to try and swat that smug smile right off of Lydia's face. Lydia is, of course, unfazed and nimbly rolls away and off the bed. Laughing, she hops back out of the room to finish getting dressed. Kitty gives up on Lizzie's help and scampers off after her.

"Well," Jane says to fill the silence. "That is quite the surprise. I am of course happy for Charlotte and Mr. Collins, though I daresay I shall miss having her around."

Her gaze unfocused, Elizabeth can't help but wonder what Charlotte's life will be like married to such a foolish man. And what her own will be like, knowing her friend is miles and miles away in another county enduring such nonsense alone. "Aye, we all shall."

"Lizzie…"

Elizabeth blinks away the vision before her eyes and turns to her sister.

"I know you're not one to easily understand the needs of others when it comes to love and marriage and later security in life, but please don't judge Charlotte too harshly."

"I wouldn't-"

"You would," Jane says gently. She comes and sits next to Elizabeth on the bed, taking her hands and sighing softly. "I'm not normally one to agree with Lydia, but she has a point. You should visit Charlotte. I think hearing the news from her will help you better understand why she did what you would never do."

After a moment's consideration, Lizzie laughs. Leaning forward to kiss Jane on the cheek, she looks around before confiding, "I much prefer the idea when you present it than Lydia does."

"So do I. But that won't save you from her pestering once she finds out you took her advice and went to Lucas Lodge," Jane teases.

"Alas, I fear you are all too right about that."

The knowledge of Lydia's later pestering does nothing to dissuade Lizzie from making the walk to Lucas Lodge as soon as breakfast is finished. She's let in and received by an overjoyed Mrs. Lucas and a Maria smiling more widely than Elizabeth can ever remember seeing. Despite everything else she might feel about the situation, their enthusiasm is heartwarming.

"Lizzie!" Charlotte greets her warmly. The other two women take their leave and the young women take a seat in the parlor. "I know this is rather unexpected…"

"Indeed." She reaches over and places a hand on Charlotte's knee. "You are my friend, and though I may find myself… surprised by your recent engagement, if you are happy, I am happy."

"Thank you." Then a wry smile comes over her face, eyes crinkling as she says, "Though I do believe you are here for the news of how such an engagement came to be. I can't imagine your mother or sisters giving you any peace until you find out."

Elizabeth scoffs. "They never give me any peace as it is. It won't matter much either way."

"Good, because most of what happened is not for their ears." Intrigued, Lizzie raises an eyebrow and waits for more. "I was going to call on you yesterday, but clearly that never happened. Mr. Collins was… let's not say distressed, but pensive, when I encountered him on my way to Longbourn.

"We talked, and he disparaged of ever finding a wife. He went on and on… and on about all his admirable qualities, but how they mean nothing because he has no soulmate and because so many have their hearts set on marrying their own soulmate, it leaves him, understandably, with very few options."

They eye each other carefully, both talking around what propriety will not let them say outright. Not even amongst friends. Saying that her future husband has no soulmate, though, is already farther than she should have gone. No one would ever say such a thing. Unless…

"So he told you about earlier… when he-?"

"Proposed to you? Yes. It led us to talking about the nature of soulmates. I should say no more on the topic, merely that he showed me his blank wrists… and after I showed him my own wrists, such as they are, he proposed."

Elizabeth considers that carefully. Her eyes flicker down to Charlotte's wrists and there's a question on the tip of her tongue. "Charlotte, do-?"

"I would very much like to answer your question, Lizzie. But keep in mind, it would only be fair for you to answer mine. Mr. Collins seems quite certain that you are expecting a proposal from your soulmate soon." There's something hopeful in her tone as she trails off, waiting for Lizzie to fill in the blanks.

Although society deems it inappropriate, she can't help but see it as a fair trade. Especially if Charlotte might offer some insight on the matter.

"I may have exaggerated on that end, but I have met my soulmate. I simply don't know who it is. My enemy and soulmate entered my life so close together, I can't begin to tell which is which. Or rather, I could, but…"

"But you don't want to be wrong for fear of ending up with a man you'll grow to hate," Charlotte finishes for her. "You need not say the names, if you don't wish to. Given everything else, it almost seems… superfluous to do so." It shouldn't matter - she'd more or less committed to saying their names out loud - but Elizabeth colors slightly at the implication that Charlotte knows the men in question. "I don't want to be too specific for my own situation, but… But I only have one name, and it is clear that no marriage shall ever come of it."

Her voice is both sad and resigned, making curiosity roil inside of Elizabeth, but she pushes it away. They've shared enough, and should Charlotte want to tell her more, then she will gladly listen. But otherwise, it is not her place to push.

"Now I'm no longer sure if congratulations or apologies are in order-"

"Never apologies," Charlotte dismisses easily. "And I accept your congratulations. I suppose you can tell your mother and sisters whatever you want about my great seduction of Mr. Collins."

The conversation abruptly loses its sour edge, and Elizabeth bursts into a fit of laughter. "Oh, then I cannot wait to tell them how you cornered him in a field, stole his hat and refused to give it back until he promised to marry you."

"I thought perhaps you'd make me the manly one, proposing to him," Charlotte whispers archly. "I do like the sound of that, taking charge of my own future instead of being at the mercy of men and their fickle nature."

"You did take charge, though, by showing him. Mr. Collins is a silly man, but there are certainly sillier men. Or at least, there are much worse men. Mr. Collins may in fact be the silliest man in all of England. I've met too few Frenchmen to be able to say with confidence that he has all of Europe beat, and one can never tell with Americans."

Giggling continues as they try to outdo each other with ridiculous proposal ideas. As soon as hot air balloons entered the discussion, Elizabeth concedes that Charlotte is clearly the better storyteller between the two.

"Now that we've settled the story of Mr. Collins' proposal, shall we discuss the problem of your soulmate?"

"Ah yes. Them."

"I assume you have no idea which is which?"

"I…" She hesitates. "There are moments when I think I do, but then the next moment I'm unsure again or think quite the opposite. It's easiest to say I'm unsure. Jane - yes, I told Jane, don't look so scandalized - thinks I should keep an open mind about it and continue to get to know them better."

"Jane was always the sensible one."

Elizabeth playfully swats at her friend. "Yes yes, take her side."

"Gladly," Charlotte says while swatting back. "Since her side is looking out for your best interest, I'll be in good company."

Perhaps she should have seen it as a warning of what was to come, but Elizabeth brushes it off and changes the topic to Charlotte's wedding plans. But after that, her sister and best friend contrive in every way possible to get her alone with George Wickham and Fitzwilliam Darcy. Somehow the two find time to conspire with each other, and then after that all Elizabeth seems to do is run into the two men wherever they go.

Their plan seems to be to divide and conquer.

Charlotte is in charge of Wickham. Whenever she needs to go to Meryton to make arrangements for the wedding and her move, she invites Lizzie along. Strangely, Wickham always seems to be there when that happens. Between his open smiles and easy conversation, it's hard not to feel at least a little enamoured with the man. If nothing else, he's handsome and talking to him never angers or upsets her.

It's only when she's alone, wondering at the games he might be playing, that Elizabeth wants to completely dismiss him as a possibility.

I suppose if we were to marry, as long as we're in the same room together, we'd never have any problems. I'd never have a free moment to wonder if he's scheming at something.

Every opportunity Jane has to spend time with Bingley, she somehow finds a way to include both Darcy and Elizabeth in the event as well. To his credit, the man is clearly putting in an effort to be kind and courteous not only to her but her family as a whole. If anything, it's her own uncertainty and their earlier bad start that clouds everything else. Makes her second guess every interaction they have, trying to read into it more than perhaps she should. Because either Darcy is the pompous, prideful man she thought him to be, or he isn't.

But she can never clearly make out his character. They'll have a perfectly good conversation followed by an argument. Granted, the arguments are not exactly heated, but it worries her to think that her life should she marry Darcy would be nothing but one continued debate. Her parents squabble all the time, and she doesn't think she can endure such a life with her own soulmate.

(Of course the poor girl doesn't realize that there's a world of difference between her parents' interactions and how her and Darcy are. That she thrives on debate. That her rapid heartbeat afterwards isn't from anger at Darcy for challenging her, but rather from excitement at being challenged at all.)

She's so worked up most of the time that they're together, she's never more convinced that this is not the man for her.

It's only hours later, after she's gone on and on about the encounter with Jane, ranted to her poor, sympathetic sister, that she reluctantly admits that there were some good parts. Away from Darcy, when her blood isn't pounding in her ears, it's easier to admit that for all his faults, he seems a good man.

And when they're alone again and she's ranted about the topic to poor Jane's sympathetic ear for hours, Jane easily dismisses her concerns.

I suppose if I were to marry Darcy, we'd merely have to spend all our time apart. Then I could always hold him in high esteem and not get into a meaningless argument over the true meaning of the word 'accomplished.'

She falls backward onto the bed with a huff. Staring up at her sister, she tries not to sound too childish. "The names are supposed to make it easier. Why can't this be easier?"

"You've never liked easy, Lizzie." Jane runs her fingers through her sister's hair, pushing stray strands behind her ears. "You'd be bored of a soulmate who didn't challenge you, even from the very moment you met. And they've both done that, so I suppose that's a plus."

"Yes. One insults me and my family repeatedly. The other is untoward enough to show me his wrist. But admittedly, that's all either of them has done."

There are of course Wickham's claims against Darcy. Darcy has offered no rebuttal, merely acknowledged that they knew each other as children and are enemies. But Elizabeth can't decide if she should take Wickham's story at face value, or to assume there's more to it that Darcy refuses to disclose.

"If only we could put them both together," she sighs, rolling over to lay her head in Jane's lap. "Take the ease of manners and conversation from Wickham that Darcy clearly lacks, combine it with Darcy's more refined wit and and his schooling, perhaps there'd be one solidly good man between them."

"Indeed." Elizabeth doesn't much care for Jane's knowing looks in moments like that.

Maybe she'll just be contrary and marry neither of them. Settle down as a governess for Jane and Bingley's many many children, or perhaps stay with Charlotte as a nanny for a time. Either option seems better than choosing between them.

AN: sorry, but i'm going to remain vague and mysterious about the name on charlotte's wrist :P