Chapter One

A/N: Hello everyone! This is chapter one of my first fanfic! There are a few more chapters for this story that I've already finished, and I'll be posting those weekly. Please read and review! I hope you enjoy!

Two years ago, hunting like this would have been for sport. It had been a very long time since Sesshomaru found himself hunting for his own survival. Now, the powerful daiyoukai sat perched on a tree branch, watching his prey silently. The air around him was still as he watched a stag graze in the clearing below.

The western lord held his breath and waited until the stag turned away to find more appealing grass before lurching forward. In mid air he let his beast free at lightning speed — deadly sharp claws lengthened to an alarming length, gold irises faded to blue as red crept into the whites, and silver hair akin to silk coated his body until he was a massive white dog youkai. The stag attempted to run but only moved two steps before the great dog had its jaws wrapped around the small body. The crunch of bone and the spurt of hot blood that coated his throat satisfied and soothed his beast, who had been restless and unsettled for far too long. The thrill of a good hunt pumped adrenaline through his veins and relieved a bit of the stress that had knotted up his muscles, while the keen buzz from his kill temporarily pulled his mind away from the overly-familiar ache in his heart — a feeling he once thought impossible.

After devouring his meal, he shifted into his human form, delicately licking the blood from his claws before returning to his station against the Goshinboku. The daiyoukai took a quick survey of his surroundings before settling against the tree and pulling up his barrier. Mokomoko-sama curled around his torso and for the first time in months he allowed himself to lean into the soft fur. Pristine posture had long since been forgotten — or at least pushed aside.

Under the protection of his own barrier he allowed himself to relax just a fraction as he leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. Sesshomaru inhaled deeply, taking in all the scents around him.

Pine. Cedar wood. Rain, in the distance. The rugged, dirty stench of ookami hung in the air several miles away. Humans in the nearby village. Magnolia and rosemary — the slayer. Ginger and sandalwood, and the strong honey of lust — definitely the monk. The familiar green tea and earth of his inuhanyou half-brother. The tart lemon and hibiscus of the young kitsune.

All scents were categorized and familiar, and Sesshomaru was slightly comforted in the knowledge that there was nothing out of the ordinary. But one particular scent was still missing.

Rain. Sweet, dew-covered jasmine. Mint leaves. Kagome.

Her scent was incredibly intoxicating, and smelled just as Sesshomaru would have predicted. Strong, powerful, intense, but also sweet and soothing. She was like a drug, one that the daiyoukai had become accustomed to, and now that he was without it, he was far too restless. Unsettled. Angry. Worried. Sad.

A few years after the defeat of Naraku, Rin fell ill to pneumonia. Sesshomaru had sought out the miko in a desperate effort to heal her. Though he kept a tight control over his emotions, something he'd mastered since he was a mere pup, the human woman saw through his guise almost immediately. Her soft smile and gentle words had not only soothed Sesshomaru, they confused him.

It was entirely within Kagome's nature to care for others — that was well known to anyone who knew her, and Sesshomaru appreciated it in that instance and the many others she helped his adopted daughter. But why she was so kind to him was beyond his comprehension. He'd attempted to kill her many times and never once gave her even the smallest reason to trust him, and yet she willingly lent him her aid.

The warm comfort her smile brought him baffled the daiyoukai as well; emotions and the need for closeness were trained out of him at a very young age. There was never a time he sought comfort from another. Intimacy, yes — despite what others thought of him, he was still a male with needs. But feeling comfort and embracing it, even craving it, was a whole new feeling. Though not entirely unwelcome, it was most certainly something Sesshomaru did not wish to address.

After sorting through his thoughts, he came to the conclusion that he was intrigued by the human miko. Kagome had always interested him — her incredible power and beauty greater than even some inuyoukai were sought by many, and even the great Sesshomaru had to admit to himself how impressive she was.

The next several months had been spent studying her. He would watch her from his position under a tree or perched on a branch out of sight, and she would always pretend she didn't notice, though her scent gave her away.

When Kagome first noticed him doing this, the scent of her confusion hung thick in the air. As time went on that confusion lessened and was replaced with the tart freshness of amusement and tiny amounts of rose — embarrassment. Sesshomaru was mildly shocked that he found this endearing.

His intrigue and curiosity only deepened over time. Occasionally he found himself protecting her during her clumsiness, catching her from falling and silently setting her back on her feet before turning away, or picking her up and carrying her to safety when she was nearing something he deemed dangerous (the woman could be overwhelmingly oblivious in the face of danger). When she shyly said thank you to his retreating figure one afternoon, he stilled and turned to study her, inhaling her scent that carried through the breeze. Flushed cheeks and a soft smile, rose and cherry blossoms with citrus and the faintest hint of vanilla bean. She trusted him, was happy in his presence, even amused at his game. Most astounding, though, was the vanilla bean — love. In that moment, Sesshomaru discovered that he held more than mere intrigue for the human.

Their game continued for months until they actually began to engage in conversation; it was short and slightly awkward at first, much to Sesshomaru's amusement, but it steadily progressed into genuine conversation. Her intelligence and quick wit were appreciated, and Sesshomaru found through their interactions that he quite enjoyed her smile — warm like sunshine, beautiful and gentle. Sesshomaru never imagined that he would actually enjoy communication with another, but with Kagome it was just natural and comfortable. And most shockingly enough, she was the only person who could poke fun at The Great Sesshomaru and live to speak of it. Not even his closest attendants had that privilege.

Sesshomaru had come to crave Kagome's presence, her dry sense of humor and fiery spark, her gentle touch. He not only wanted to be near her, he wanted to be with her. The admiration and desire he felt for her had easily shifted into deeper feelings of love, much without his consent. It took him quite a while to categorize those emotions within himself, but once he did he wasn't entirely surprised. He'd been following her for months, fascinated by her for years — the more he knew of her, the more he desired her. Feelings of love were only logical.

After they mated, he took her back to his palace to take the position of Lady of the West. He protected her, pleasured her, loved her. Her beauty and kindness and intelligence astounded him more and more every day, and her opinions in political matters and clear judgement had been eagerly encouraged and admired; Sesshomaru had never known a human with such wisdom and grace, despite her clumsiness. To have the ability to share his leadership with someone intelligent and capable of leading alongside him was incredible. The pride he felt for her grew stronger by the minute.

It was after their mating that Sesshomaru contemplated something. He had always hated humans; they were arrogant and weak, and lacked wisdom and courage. Let alone their scent… Rin was the first human he had ever accepted and cared for, but his opinion on the lower species never wavered. But Kagome shattered all of those presumptions. She was the exact opposite — intelligent, kind, brave, selfless, and unlike most humans, her scent was absolutely intoxicating. He could never get enough.

His revelation came one afternoon while watching her interact with Rin and the kit; her maternal nature stirred his instincts and he knew she would be an amazing mother to their pups. When he realized that the pups of the great and feared Lord of the West would be hanyou, he was stunned. It had never once occurred to him before, but after a brief moment of consideration he accepted it gracefully. This was what he wanted, he would not be ashamed. Any noble youkai who disagreed could discuss the matter with his dokkasou.

Sesshomaru shifted against the tree, his ears twitching when a twig snapped somewhere in the forest. His makeshift camp hadn't been much of a camp, per se. Mokomoko-sama worked well for a bedroll and no fire was needed. Since inu could withstand colder temperatures and cooking his prey was entirely unnecessary, he refused to waste his time on such trivial matters. Undoubtedly his lack of living essentials or travel materials would be considered highly problematic for some, but it didn't hinder him in the slightest — though Sesshomaru was certain that Kagome would chastise him if she could see him now without any form of shelter. The way she fussed over him unnecessarily always amused him.

Many times he would be working late into the evening in his study, signing documents or planning strategy meetings, and Kagome would shuffle into the study weary-eyed and incredibly alluring. In her half-awake state, after waking up to find his side of the futon empty, she would seek him out; her sleeping yukata would be disheveled and draping off her shoulders, her hair in a loose bun, eyes blinking and sleepy, and she would curl up in his lap and ask him to come to bed. The great alpha inu of the west was feared and known for his stone cold demeanor, but one look at his sleepy, breathtaking mate and he would drop everything in a heartbeat.

Other times she would bring tea for he and his attendants, fussing at all of them for their 'complete and utter disregard of health.' Sesshomaru had always made a point to maintain a calm disposition and keep his emotions locked away when in public, but in those instances he couldn't help but chuckle. After thoroughly scent marking her, he would send her away and promise he'd join her within the hour.

Thoughts of his mate brought on another ache of sadness in his chest. In all his four hundred years of life, not once had he ever felt like this — so helpless and lost. Heartbroken. His beast was incredibly restless as well, and would be so until his mate returned to him. And he hoped to every kami he knew of that she would return soon.

It happened over two years ago. Sesshomaru had a particularly long day in council with his attendants and some nobles from the south. After concluding his sessions, and a particularly memorable goodbye with Kagome, he took his mate to the Bone-Eater's Well so she could visit her family. The plan was to escort her there, and he would return for her two days later at dawn.

When the daiyoukai returned for her, eager for her touch and scent, she never came back. He waited for two days before seeking out his half-brother.

"You can go through the well." It was a statement more than a question.

Inuyasha merely scoffed and crossed his arms. "Yeah, dog breath. What's it to ya?"

Sesshomaru's nerves were already wearing very thin, and his brother's ignorance and disrespect pushed him over the edge. In a flash of silver hair and silk, he had Inuyasha pushed against a tree by the neck. Dokkasou dripped from his claws threateningly and burned holes into the fire rat.

"Kagome has not returned," he snarled, the low growl threatening as he snapped his canines at the hanyou in a display of dominance. "You will go through the well."

"Keh. Baka, she probably got tired of your ass."

Another low growl. "It has been two days since she promised This One she would return. You will go find her."

Inuyasha's eyes widened."Baka!" he pushed his way out of the daiyoukai's grasp and began running toward the forest. "Why didn't ya say so?"

Inuyasha had tried going through the well ten times, but it never opened. Sesshomaru's roar could be heard miles away.

Sesshomaru had never felt so much pain. Kagome had traces of his youkai inside her; a small amount of physical pain was to be expected when part of his own soul disappeared to another era, but the pain felt when he realized she couldn't return to him was unbearable. It took immense effort to remain calm for the first day, but his hold over his emotions diminished quickly. When Inuyasha wasn't able to go through the well, he lost all control — all the worry and anger and pain and overwhelming sadness exploded into a roar so loud it shook the trees; the burst of youkai energy that accompanied it was so powerful it forced all those within a two-mile radius onto their knees.

The first year she was gone had been spent in a horrible raging anger and sadness, well masked behind an indifferent facade that could only be decoded by Inuyasha, Rin or his closest attendant, Nakamura. The feeling of being physically unable to do anything about his situation drove him mad — his beast was out of control from the loss of his mate.

That time had been spent tirelessly traveling from the palace, attending to business there as the western lord, and back to the well. When he was away at the palace, Inuyasha stayed by the well — someone was constantly watching and waiting for the miko's return. Any time Sesshomaru could spare, though, was spent beneath the Goshinboku. The daiyoukai didn't care if he spent the rest of his immortal life under that tree; she would return, and he would be waiting for her when she did.

There was also the matter of Rin; Sesshomaru had to visit her as well and keep her calm. She also missed Kagome, who'd come to be like her own mother, and his lack of presence wasn't helping her. Sesshomaru made an effort to keep his emotions level for her sake, but when he was alone he would snap a barrier in place and drop his mask to allow his anger to set free.

Now, over two years since Kagome's disappearance, Sesshomaru stayed full time by the well, only returning to his palace on matters of urgency; otherwise Jaken would arrive monthly with updates and bring Rin for a brief visit.

Sesshomaru had been at the well permanently for the past eight months. He had sent the young kitsune who travelled with Inuyasha back to the palace to stay with Rin and keep her company; the daiyoukai just couldn't stay there. The separation had become unbearable and the pain was making him deadly to anyone who even looked at him wrong. As the alpha of the west, he would always put his duties to his people first. He would always be the leader they needed, but until such time that his mate returned to him, anything his attendants could handle would be in their hands.

Sesshomaru growled and stood up, taking a hesitant glance at the well before masking his expression and entering the forest again. He had never been fond of emotions, and not being able to control them was driving him to insanity.

The daiyoukai transformed slowly into his true form and stalked into the forest. He was most certainly in need of a hunt.

A/N: So a few comments... I've seen so many variations on the "This Sesshomaru" thing. I personally think "This One" sounds best, which is why I used that rather than "This Sesshomaru" (it just sounded a bit silly when I was writing it). Also, Sesshomaru may be a bit OOC here, but let's get real - he's not a romantic character, so writing him in that light is a bit challenging. But I love this character, and hopefully I did him justice!

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please review! Stay tuned for chapter two, which I'll probably be posting next Monday :)