Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Important Warnings: Sexual content, harsh language, graphic depictions of violence. Rated M

Scarlet

I love her and I hate her. I can't stop thinking about her.

Erza Scarlet. Erza Scarlet. Erza Scarlet and her scarlet hair.

I want her to come home. I want…

I want her to love me the way I love her. The way a flower loves the sun, until it gets too dry and dies. I want her to hurt the way she hurt me. I want her to feel that sweet pain that comes first when breaking a bone, that numbness, and then the true ache cripples and blinds.

I want her to gasp for breath. I want her to scream my name. And when she does, I want it to be because she's helpless to do anything else. When she does, I want it to be because she needs me like I need her. When she does, I want it to be because she can't distinguish pain from pleasure.

When she loves me so much it hurts…

I'll slip the knife between her ribs and give her to the Tower of Heaven.

The first time Erza Scarlet saw the man known as Siegrain Fernandez, she thought the breath would stall in her lungs and her heart would just stop. She wished she could say that her first reaction was to run him through with her sword, but in reality, she could only stare as he exited the Fiore branch of the Magic Council, as prim as you fucking please, head held high like he had nothing to fear—like he belonged. As if he hadn't enslaved children, threatened her with death, and spent the last decade building a tower to resurrect the evilest mage ever to walk the land.

His dark eyes slid over to her, he the needle on a compass and she magnetic north. And he stared, his gaze burning straight through her. Erza's legs went weak with a tumult of emotions. Fear and hatred, scarred and scabbed love, rotten to the core and festering.

Her mouth was the driest it'd ever been, like she'd been wandering through the desert for days without water, and yet, she sweated, uncomfortable in her ever-present armour.

"Erza Scarlet?" His voice was deeper than she remembered, and his face was more angular. His cheekbones were more defined; his jaw sharper. For all the differences, his mouth still had that familiar hairpin curve, and that exact same smile. The smile she loved, but had grown to hate.

A tinny chatter told her that she shook like a leaf in a cold autumn wind.

He spoke again and she couldn't help but memorize this new way his voice sounded. "Is something the matter? You look pale."

Like nothing was wrong or strange or—

He took a step toward her, white jacket shining in the late winter sunlight, and she snapped back to reality. In seconds, she had a short sword in her hand and pointed the gleaming metal unabashedly at his throat. "D-don't move." The stammer cost her, made her flounder when she wanted to sound strong and in control.

He startled back, eyes widening, mouth flat-lining. "It isn't ever wise to draw a weapon on one of the ten wizard saints."

One of the? "You're a liar, and a murderer, but you're no wizard saint, Jellal." Her words shook, sure, but her sword was steady. It was still her most trusted ally.

"Master Siegrain—" A clerk came rushing out of the council building, a pretty blonde girl with light blue eyes and too-pink lips. She looked fraught with worry as her slippered feet slid over the slushy pavement. "Master Siegrain—is everything alright?"

He held up his hand to stop the woman and Erza adjusted her grip on her sword. "It's alright, Ginny. I think I know what's going on here." He looked straight through Erza, his mouth curling just slightly when he said, "Jellal Fernandez is my twin brother, a renegade and a criminal. My name is Siegrain, and I do not lie. I am who I say, a member of the council, a ten wizard saint."

For the second time in such a short period, Erza felt like her heart was stalling, her breath was dying. It can't be. "The King of Lies lies effortlessly." Kill him now, before you can't. Maybe she would have, if that clerk wasn't worrying at her bottom lip and clutching her robes tightly.

"Should I call the guards, Master Siegrain?"

He shook his head slowly, sapphire hair shining in the sun. "Leave it, Ginny. It's just a misunderstanding. Miss Scarlet is going to stand down because she doesn't want to be arrested, right? I shouldn't have to suffer for my brother's crime."

Erza let the sword drop a few inches. "Jellal never said he was a twin—"

"My brother kept many secrets." Siegrain's hair lifted from his forehead in a fierce gust of wind. His scent wrapped around Erza. He didn't smell the same as Jellal did. Then again, when she knew Jellal, he smelled like sweat and blood and tears. Do you really see him when you look at this man? She studied his hazel eyes, eyes creased just lightly at the corners from smiling. She studied his mouth and the faint shadow on his cheeks. She studied his Magic Council uniform, pressed and crisp and clean. She lowered her sword some more so the point scratched the wet ground.

Siegrain said, "If you have unpleasant history with my brother, I imagine doing business with me would be difficult. Should you like, we can cancel and I will contact another wizard in your place—"

He's telling the truth. It sort of killed Erza to do it—he just looked so much like Jellal—but she dispelled her sword and forced herself to relax. "Apologies, Master Siegrain—"

"Just Siegrain, please." He smiled just a little. Erza didn't like the way her heart flopped.

"S—Siegrain." Her stomach still felt sick, her skin still itched and she had this aggravating urge to trip over her words. Gods. Do better. "If you'll allow for it, I would like for our agreement to stand, I should like to redeem my actions—"

"You have nothing to fear, I wasn't insulted," Siegrain told her. "It's happened more than once." Without looking over his shoulder or breaking eye contact with Erza, he said, "Ginny—you can go. There is no threat here."

The blonde puffed out her cheeks. Erza thought she'd refuse, but then she turned on her heel, short hair bobbing around her chin, and disappeared into the council building.

Siegrain stepped closer in shiny leather boots that had never touched a floor soaked in the blood of slaves. Erza couldn't help but take the opportunity to study him closely. It had been years since she'd seen Jellal, but looking at the man before her was just as good as. They were absolutely identical, right down to the tattoo that crept over his right eye. Her limbs tried to quiver again. She flexed her muscles to stop them in their tracks, but she couldn't stop her heart from beating faster.

In a honey-sweet voice that had undoubtedly convinced plenty of women he was a lamb and not a lion, he said, "You still think you're up to our agreement?"

Erza gritted her teeth. "Certainly."

The S class mission Siegrain had hired her for was straightforward: retrieve the pin that marked Siegrain as a member of the council and return it to him. It had been stolen a day before by a team of treasure hunters. Erza carried out the mission flawlessly, and when she was through, she returned to Siegrain and collected her reward.

In the weak winter sunlight, he caught her eye and held it so far past the point of comfort, Erza couldn't think. "You're a very impressive woman, Erza."

She'd heard the exact same compliment before out of a hundred different mouths, but this time as it was spoken with Siegrain's mouth, the mouth that looked so like Jellal's, Erza found herself truly wanting to believe it. She didn't say thank you but she did blush. "Do you talk to your brother?" she asked suddenly, half curious, half needing to remind herself that this was not Jellal.

Siegrain's eyes flashed with an emotion she didn't recognize. "My brother is a traitor to the crown. Never."

"Of course," she replied, and felt immediately ashamed. "I didn't mean any offense."

And yet, he came back at her with, "Do you miss him?"

Erza stammered and stalled and in the end, she shook her head. She needn't be an expert on Siegrain Fernandez to know that he saw straight through her.

The council door opened and Ginny came out with a stack of papers in her hands. Siegrain glanced at the girl, checked the silver watch on his wrist, and said, "Forgive me, Erza. That's my assistant coming to tell me I'm late."

"Of course." Wind grabbed her hair and made wild knots out of it.

Siegrain did the unthinkable and, like a man possessed, brushed a lock back from her face. "You have the most beautiful scarlet hair, has anyone ever told you that?"

Erza was thrust into a memory of long ago. The setting was different, she was in a cell with cold and dirty concrete biting into her skin, but the context was the same. How could she keep Siegrain and Jellal separate when he came at her with the ghosts of her past?

Siegrain took his hand away and didn't even look ashamed for it. "Thank you again."

Erza mumbled something that she hoped sounded gracious. She was relieved to see that she could turn away from him. She was even more relieved when she didn't satisfy the need she felt to look back.

Jellal thought once he saw Erza again that he'd never be able to let her go. But he'd proven himself wrong. Twice she'd been in arm's reach and twice he let her walk away. He'd almost slipped so many times. When she denied missing him? He almost told her she was a fucking liar and killed her right there. But instead, he nodded his head like a civilized man, apologized and smiled.

As he watched her walk away, he thought it was a good thing that their time together had come to an end, because he was going wild with want. The want to touch her. To pull her in for a bone-crushing hug. To kiss her. To get out that blade and give her a new smile.

The last sort of broke his heart. Not enough, though.

He slipped his hand into his pocket to deposit what he'd stolen while he watched Erza's back. He wanted to see the moment she glanced back, just to ensure that she was as discombobulated as he was. She never did. On the other hand, she walked too quickly. While it wasn't the same as ensnaring her attention, Jellal admitted that it was almost as good. She could run away. He hoped she would. Something like that would make her eventual crumble all the sweeter.

"Master Siegrain?" Ginny's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Jellal found her and smiled, too. "Coming, Ginny."

She flushed prettily. Jellal dismissed the look. Upon entering the council building, he mounted the stairs. "I need to get my notes."

"I'll set up in the chamber hall," Ginny said.

Jellal's office was the pinnacle of tidiness. The organization was what he used to keep himself sane when all he could think about was scarlet. The notes he needed sat on top of the walnut desk. He'd intended upon a quick retrieval, but he entered and knew he had a visitor. He found Ultear lounging against the wall beneath his clock. She smiled upon seeing him.

"Did she stammer?"

"Yes."

"And shake?"

"Not as much as last time."

"Pity." Ultear crossed the room. Her fingers found his chin. "You're frustrated."

Always. Always and always. "I'm fine."

"You're a liar." She leaned in and brushed his mouth with hers despite the fact that the door was still open. Jellal let it happen, needing to feel the risk and needing to have the reward after letting Erza waltz away. He thought of scarlet. He thought of love and pain. He thought of need.